Yes, Daddies

close enough

Asena

I don’t know how long I cry because time feels… strange. It's like it stretches and folds into itself, losing meaning somewhere between the sound of my own breathing and the steady warmth surrounding me.

I am aware of them and that’s the first thing that anchors me. Caspian on one side and Zavian on the other. Both of them are close enough that I can feel them without trying, their presence solid and unyielding, like walls that refuse to let anything reach me.

For the first time in a long time, I feel safe. The thought is so foreign that it almost scares me.

My fingers curl slightly against Caspian’s shirt, still clutching him without realizing it, while Zavian’s hand rests gently in my hair, his touch slow and careful, like he’s afraid I might break if he moves too fast.

“You’re okay,” Caspian murmurs against my head.

His voice is low and I want to believe him.

I close my eyes again, letting my forehead rest against his chest as I try to breathe through the remnants of the nightmare still clinging to me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper and the words slip out before I can stop them.

There’s a small shift beside me and Zavian’s hand stills in my hair.

“For what?” He asks quietly.

“For… this,” I say, though I don’t even know what this is. “For being… too much.”

There’s a pause then Caspian lets out a quiet breath that sounds almost like disbelief.

“You’re not too much,” he says.

I let out a weak huff. “That’s easy for you to say.”

“It’s not,” Zavian replies, his voice softer now, closer. “You’ve just been told that long enough to believe it.”

My chest tightens and I don’t respond because he’s right and I hate that he’s right. Silence settles again, but it’s different this time. It's not empty and neither it is heavy. It's just… quiet.

Their hands don’t leave me. Caspian’s arm stays wrapped around me, firm and grounding, while Zavian’s fingers resume their slow movement through my hair, brushing gently over my scalp in a way that makes my breathing gradually even out.

It’s strange how something so simple can feel like everything. I shift slightly, my body instinctively leaning into the warmth, into the contact, into something that feels… real. Something that doesn’t hurt.

“Stay,” I whisper before I can stop myself.

The word hangs there, fragile and exposed and neither of them hesitates.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Caspian says immediately and Zavian hums softly in agreement and at that moment, something in me loosens.

I tilt my head slightly, my cheek brushing against Caspian’s chest as I glance up at him. He’s already looking at me, his gaze steady, intense in a way that makes my stomach flutter unexpectedly and it confuses me but I don’t pull away because right now… I don’t want to lose this.

Zavian’s fingers slide from my hair to my cheek, brushing away the tear I didn’t realize had fallen.

“You’re thinking too much,” he murmurs.

I let out a small, shaky laugh. “I don’t know how not to.”

“Then don’t,” Caspian says.

I look at him again.

“That’s not helpful.”

“It is,” he insists. “You’re safe. That’s all you need to know right now.”

Safe.

The word comes back again and this time, I don’t push it away, I let myself feel it just for a moment.

My gaze flickers between them. Between the two boys, no, men, who once made my life miserable, who once laughed at me, who once stood on the other side of everything that hurt me and now… ow they’re here. Holding me, protecting me, telling me I’m safe and none of this makes sense.

“Why?” I ask quietly.

Caspian’s brows draw together slightly. “Why what?”

“Why do you care?” I clarify.

“Because it’s you,” Zavian says.

My breath catches slightly.

Caspian nods. “That’s enough.”

It shouldn’t be because it doesn’t explain anything and yet, something about the way they say it makes it feel like it does.

I swallow, suddenly aware of how close we are. I know I should move, I should create distance but I don’t. Instead, my hand shifts slightly, my fingers brushing against Caspian’s collar as I steady myself.

I don’t understand what I’m doing.

I don’t understand why I’m doing it but something inside me, something tired, something desperate, just wants to feel, to know that this is real. That someone is here, that I’m not alone.

My gaze drops briefly to his lips and then back up and before I can stop myself, I lean in.

The kiss is soft like I’m testing something I don’t fully understand.

Caspian freezes for a fraction of a second then his hand comes up slowly, cupping my jaw, not deepening the kiss, just… holding me there, grounding me like he knows this isn’t about him. It’s about me.

I pull back first, my breath uneven.

“What was that?” I whisper, more to myself than to him.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he murmurs.

My face heats instantly.

“I…” I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

Zavian shifts beside me, his hand brushing lightly over my arm.

“It’s okay,” he says and I glance at him.

His expression is calm and there is no judgment, just acceptance.

I pull back slightly, creating a small distance between us, my fingers tightening in the sheets.

“This is wrong,” I whisper.

“No,” Caspian says immediately.

“It is,” I insist. “You, both of you, you’re…” I gesture vaguely. “You’re you.”

Zavian raises a brow slightly. “That’s very descriptive.”

I huff weakly. “You know what I mean.”

“Say it,” Caspian presses.

I hesitate, then, “you’re rich,” I say. “Powerful. You live in a world I don’t understand. And me?” I shake my head. “I don’t belong there.”

Their expressions change instantly.

“Don’t say that,” Zavian says quietly.

“It’s true.”

“It’s not,” Caspian counters.

“It is,” I repeat, my voice firmer now. “And you know it.”

Silence falls again but this time, it’s heavier… more complicated.

I pull the blanket slightly closer around myself, like I’m trying to put something back between us that I’ve already lost.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit softly.

Caspian studies me. “You don’t have to.”

“But I do,” I whisper. “Because if I don’t… I’m going to get lost in this.”

Neither of them speaks and that silence tells me everything and I swallow hard.

“I can’t,” I say, shaking my head slightly. “I can’t be… whatever this is.”

My chest tightens because a part of me doesn’t want to let go but I know I have to.

Before I get too used to this. Before I start believing it’s real. Before I start thinking I deserve it.

“I need to go,” I whisper.

The words feel heavy but necessary.

Caspian’s jaw tightens and Zavian’s hand stills and neither of them stops me and somehow… that hurts more than if they did.

I close my eyes briefly, taking a slow breath then I open them again.

“I just…” I trail off, shaking my head. “I need to figure things out.”

It’s not the full truth but I’m scared.

Scared of how easily I could fall into something I don’t understand.

I glance at them one last time and then I look away because if I don’t…

I won’t be able to leave.