you're awake

1654 Words
White. That’s the first thing I see when I open my eyes. White ceiling. White walls. White light that feels too bright, too clean and too empty. For a moment, I just stare. My mind doesn’t catch up. It lags behind like it doesn’t want to remember anything. Where am I? I blink once, twice. The light stings my eyes and I squint slightly, my head throbbing with a dull, persistent ache. This isn’t my room. A faint smell reaches me…it's disinfectant and my stomach tightens. I am at the hospital? I shift slightly, and something tugs at my hand. I frown, turning my head just enough to see an IV line connected to me. My breath catches. “What…?” My voice comes out hoarse, barely more than a whisper. “You’ve woken up?” a voice sounds from besides me. I freeze at the voice. I turn my head slowly and come face to face with Zavian Hale. He’s sitting beside the bed, leaning forward slightly and his eyes fixed on me like he has been watching for a while. Relief flashes across his face. “You’re awake,” he says again, softer this time. I blink at him, trying to piece everything together. “You…” My voice cracks. “What… how…?” “You’re in the hospital,” he says quickly, as if he already knows what I’m trying to ask. “You’re safe.” he adds. Safe. The word feels strange like it doesn’t belong to me. I swallow, my throat dry. “Why… am I here?” He hesitates just for a second and that’s all it takes because in that second… everything comes back The laughter. The sneer on the maid’s face. Sophia’s smile. Mateo’s arm around her. The slap. My father’s voice. The sting on my cheek. The way no one said anything. The way no one cared. My chest tightens and my breath hitches. Then I remember the hallway, the door, his voice shouting after me then the impact, the pain exploding through my back and finally darkness. I gasp. Everything crashes into me at once, too fast, too heavy and probably too much. My fingers curl weakly against the sheets as the memories flood in, one after another. “No…” I whisper, shaking my head slightly. “No…” Zavian straightens immediately. “Asena?” I don’t answer because I can’t. I squeeze my eyes shut, but it doesn’t stop anything and my tears slip out anyway. I feel it now, the pain all over my body. The ache at the nape, my cheek, my hands and legs. I turn my face slightly, trying to hide it, trying to pull myself together, but it’s useless. Tears keep falling. “I…” My voice breaks. “I didn’t…” I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. Zavian shifts closer, his movements careful, almost hesitant. “Asena,” he says quietly. I shake my head again. “I didn’t do anything wrong,” I whisper. “I didn’t… I didn’t…” The words blur together and my chest hurts. Everything hurts. “They just…” My voice cracks completely now. “They just…” I can’t finish. I don’t need to. Zavian exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair like he’s trying to figure something out. “I swear,” he mutters under his breath, “I don’t know how to do this.” Despite everything, a weak, broken laugh escapes me. “Do what?” I manage. “This,” he says, gesturing vaguely at me. “You’re crying. I’m… not good with that.” I let out a shaky breath. “Clearly,” I whisper. He huffs softly, then leans closer, his voice lowering. “Okay,” he says. “Okay, listen.” I open my eyes slightly, looking at him through blurred vision. “You’re safe,” he repeats. “You’re here. No one’s touching you and no one’s hurting you ever again.” Something in my chest loosens just a little. “I don’t…” I swallow. “I don’t know what to do.” “You don’t have to do anything,” he says quickly. “Just… just breathe.” I try. It’s harder than it should be. My breathing comes uneven at first, but slowly, it steadies. Zavian watches me the whole time, his expression tense, like he is afraid I might break if he looks away. “Good,” he murmurs. “That’s good.” Another tear slips down my cheek. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “For what?” He asks immediately. “For… this.” I gesture weakly. “For being… like this.” His expression changes instantly. It's sharp now. “No,” he says firmly. “Don’t do that.” I blink at him. “You don’t apologize for being hurt,” he continues, his voice quieter now but just as steady. “Not here and definately not with me.” Something tight in my chest cracks open just a little more. I don’t know why that affects me so much but it does. I let out a soft, shaky breath. “I just…” I trail off. Zavian watches me, waiting. “I don’t understand why they hate me so much,” I admit, my voice barely audible. Zavian goes still and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything. Then he shifts even closer. “Look at me,” he says gently. I hesitate, then I do. His gaze is steady, focused and intent. “There is nothing wrong with you,” he says. I let out a weak laugh. “You don’t know that.” “I do,” he replies without hesitation. “How?” I ask, desperately seeking assurance. “Because I've known you,” he says. I frown slightly. “Even when you didn’t realize it,” he adds. That confuses me more but before I can ask, he continues. “They don’t hate you because of something you did,” he says. “They hate you because of what you are.” “And what is that?” I whisper. His lips tilt slightly. “Strong,” he says. “Stubborn snd hard to break.” I blink at him. “I broke,” I say quietly. His gaze softens just a fraction. “No,” he says. “You didn’t.” I shake my head. “I’m literally in a hospital bed.” “And you’re still here,” he counters. I don’t respond because I don’t know how to argue with that. Silence settles between us, softer this time. My breathing steadies. The tears slow. Zavian watches me for a moment longer before doing something that catches me completely off guard. He opens his arms. “Come here,” he says. I blink at him. “What?” “You need a hug,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I… no, I don’t…” “Yes, you do.” I stare at him. “You’re terrible at this,” I mutter. “I know,” he says. “But I’m trying.” That… does something to me. I hesitate, then slowly, carefully, I shift toward him. He moves immediately, helping me sit up just enough before pulling me gently against him. I stiffen at first then I relax. Just a little. His arms wrap around me, firm but careful, like he’s afraid of hurting me. “You’re okay,” he murmurs. I close my eyes. “You’re safe,” he adds. My fingers clutch lightly at his shirt. “You’re not going back there,” he says quietly. “Not if I have anything to say about it.” Heat creeps up my neck. “That’s… kind of dramatic,” I mumble. “Get used to it,” he replies. A small, unexpected smile tugs at my lips. “You’re really bad at comforting people,” I say. “I know,” he says again. “But you’re still here.” I huff softly. “That’s because I’m too tired to move.” “Liar.” I pull back slightly, just enough to look at him. “Why do you care?” I ask before I can stop myself. The question hangs in the air. For a second, I think he won’t answer. “Because it’s you,” he says simply. My breath catches. “That doesn’t explain anything,” I whisper. “It does to me,” he replies. My heart does something strange in my chest. Something warm. Something confusing. I look away, suddenly very aware of how close we are. “You say things like that on purpose, don’t you?” I mutter. “To make you blush?” He asks. “I’m not blushing.” “You are.” “I’m not.” He huffs out a quiet laugh. Before I can argue again, the door opens and I freeze slightly. Zavian’s arms loosen around me as both of us turn toward the sound and Caspian steps in. He pauses just inside the room. For a moment, the air shifts. It becomes colder and sharper. His gaze lands on me instantly and everything in his expression hardens. His jaw tightens. His eyes darken. Then he sees my face. The bruises. The IV. The tears I haven’t fully wiped away. I clearly see something in him change. It softens. Not completely but enough. He exhales slowly, stepping further into the room. “…You’re awake,” he says. His voice is quieter than usual and I nod slightly. “Yeah.” His gaze flickers briefly to Zavian, then back to me and for the first time since I’ve known him, he looks… careful like he doesn’t want to break something fragile and I don’t know why that makes my chest feel tight again.
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