Ghosted

Chapter 16 POV Amelia

POV Amelia

The first time I met Charlie, I instantly thought he was the most handsome man that had ever walked into that hospital. You could tell he was powerful and wealthy but he was charming and cheeky and I liked his sense of humour. He was absolutely gorgeous and I could see all the staff bat their eyelashes at him. He had a large cut on his arm and I was teaching some of the student doctors how to calm patients in a crisis and I decided to do his stitches myself. The student doctors were very young and I didn’t trust them with such a gorgeous looking guy. Also it gave me the opportunity to flirt with him a little. He was wearing a ridiculously expensive suit and it was almost a shame that it had been ruined by all of his blood. He said that it was his birthday and that all of his family had come over to his house for dinner and when it was time to cut the cake his best friend handed him a knife and accidentally slashed his arm. He said that his friend had rushed him to hospital, but that he had an emergency call from work and had to leave him there. He kept staring into my eyes, and when I would turn my head to the side to speak to the student doctors he would stare at my t**s. When we were done, he said that I had the magic touch and that he felt better already. A few days later my house phone rang and I was surprised to hear his voice. He asked me out to dinner and then the phone cut out. He called again and when it cut out the second time I thought that it was Richard that was hanging up on him. The next day I went to work and he was standing outside the hospital with a bunch of red roses and to my surprise he was waiting for me. Although he was incredibly handsome I couldn’t bring myself to date again because Richard had only died a couple of years before and I was still grieving. His face fell as I explained that I was a widow and I wasn’t ready to date anybody. He said that he understood and I liked how sweet he was towards me. After that I would think about him from time to time because he was so charming and handsome. So when I got onto the flight coming back from Bali and he was sat next to me and I was ecstatic. He was such good fun and he entertained me the entire journey. I couldn’t help but snuggle into his huge muscles and I knew that I really fancied him. I hadn’t been with anyone since the last time I had seen Mark. Although I had really strong feelings for Mark, I didn’t really know that much about him and when I did find out what kind of man he was I was hurt. He was my first step into the dating world and after him I was totally against the idea of ever being with another man again, but sitting there with Charlie I realised that I really should start to move on from Richard. When the flight landed in Spain he asked me to come with him for a holiday and I agreed to stay. It was the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done but I decided to just go for it. By the time we got back to his hotel room and he was f*****g me wildly I realised I’d done the right thing. A few days went by and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other and I was excited for us to go home and start a proper relationship. But it did make me nervous that I would need to break it to Robert and his dad that I was moving on from Richard. When Charlie asked me for my phone number and text me for a date it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and he was so happy when I said yes, then he asked me to go to an award ceremony for his best friend. He’d mentioned his friend several times during our stay in Spain and I was looking forward to meeting this man until he mentioned that his name is Mark and that he was a chief inspector with the police. I knew immediately that it was Mark. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t worked it out before considering that they both had the same lion tattoo on their arm but when Charlie said that he had picked it out of a tattoo artist book I presumed that it was just a popular style. But then I thought back to when Mark had told me that he and his best friend had got drunk and got matching tattoos it all made sense. Seeing Mark again was the last thing I needed. I really didn’t want to come face-to-face with him again. He had hurt me so much that the thought of seeing him made my blood boil and it made my heart break a little. By the time we went through the airport. Charlie knew that there was something wrong with me and I wasn’t being myself so I pretended to feel sick. Before I got into the cab, I kissed him on the lips and I felt like I didn’t want to let him go, but I knew that I couldn’t be involved with something like this. After all. Mark was his best friend and he told me that he was like a brother to him and I didn’t want to come between them or have to face Mark so I did what I always do. I ignored Charlies text messages and buried my head in the sand. A few days later, I was really beginning to feel sorry for myself and I missed Charlie but I kept thinking about Mark. I was annoyed with myself because Mark had let me down but I couldn’t help the feelings I still had for him. I was laying in bed trying to get to sleep when I heard my front door bang and it sounded like whoever it was really needed to speak to me. I put on my silk robe and when I went to the door I was surprised to see Mark standing there. I hadn’t seen him in over a year and he looked just as handsome as I remembered, however this time he had an angry look on his face and he said “I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping with my best friend. What the hell are you playing at?” I pushed him by the shoulders away from my door because I didn’t want Richard to hear him. I closed the door behind me and I whispered “what are you doing here?” He took a deep breath to calm himself “I’m here because my best friend is in bits, you’ve broke his heart just like you broke mine, I can’t believe you” The thought of poor Charlie made my insides turn with guilt. “I’m sorry, I had no idea that you and Charlie were friends, as soon as I figured that out I stoped seeing him. I’m not trying to cause any trouble. I just want you both to leave me alone.” He shook his head and smirked “That’s the thing with you Amelia, you always just run away from your problems” I looked around and I noticed Janet taking out her bins to the side of the road and she was looking over at us. I knew she was just as much as a gossip as my housekeeper Maria and I didn’t want my brother in law Robert to see us and start asking questions. “we can’t talk here” I said and he looked around and saw her and looked back at me “come with me for a drive so we can talk in private” I was only wearing my short nightdress and robe but I got into his car and it was an enormous black Range Rover. “I like your car” I said as I fastened my seat belt. I didn’t know a thing about cars but I wanted to break the tension between us “it’s Charlies car, he’s letting me borrow it because mines is at the mechanic” I felt guilty again about being in Charlie’s car without him being there. He pulled out of my street and he was rubbing his hands over his face and sighing “Amelia this is such a mess” “I know” I said in a small voice because I was ashamed of myself “I’ve missed you so much, I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping with him whilst I’m sitting at home missing you” I thought he said he was there to talk about Charlie and he was making this all about himself. “you’re one to talk, you slept with god knows how many women the first time we stopped talking” His jaw was clenched and I didn’t want to make him angry but I had to have my say. “I was hurting badly Amelia, I explained to you that I was all over the place and that it was just hookups. I’ve had Charlie on the phone the whole time you were away with him telling me that you two are crazy about each other. I slept around but you’ve got feelings for him that s**t hurts more” he was right but I couldn’t let him win. “What about your girlfriend? You were sleeping with me in hotel rooms like I was a dirty secret and going home to her” “you were never a dirty secret and I didn’t love her I love you” I put my head down and I felt like I was going to cry. “I didn’t want that to come out that way, but Amelia, I’ve missed you so much. But he’s like a brother to me. This is such a mind f**k” I wiped a tear away from my eye “it didn’t happen on purpose” I said and he looked over at me and gave me a small smile “I know it wasn’t on purpose, he said you guys met years ago and that he was only on the flight because he changed it at the last minute. I know that this is just a coincidence but I never believe in coincidences. He says he thinks that it’s fate that you were there and that the universe is bringing you two together, I feel awful for him. I’ve never heard him talk like this before. I told him to get a grip but I know what it’s like to be ghosted by you. It’s heart breaking” I remembered all the messages he had sent me begging me to speak to him and I felt awful. “so what do you want me to do? Do you think I should call him and be honest and tell him about us sleeping together before and that I can’t see him again?” He put his head back “I’m not sure, maybe it would be for the best to put him out of his misery, but I don’t want him to hate me because I’m the reason your not with him. I don’t want my friendship with him to change” he pulled the car over into a super market car park and although it was late there was still a few cars around. “Amelia, I meant what I said, I’m in love with you and I’ve changed. I took your advice and went to therapy. I dumped Cheryl and she moved out and I haven’t even went out on a date with anyone else since you.” I had asked my friend Mandy to look on the hook up app one night when we were drunk to see if he was still on there and she said that his username Lion-Alpha had been deleted so I knew he was telling me the truth. Also Charlie had told me that his best friend had went through a hard time when a girl he really liked stopped speaking to him but that he was turning his life around and to realise that he was talking about Mark made me want to grab him and kiss him. He put his head on the steering wheel and I stroked his back. “what do you want me to do? Do you want me to start seeing Charlie? I don’t think I can do that, he’s your best friend it would be weird” His head shot up “No I don’t want you to start seeing my friend, I want you to be with me. I’ve never been able to get over you Amelia.” I felt like I could have wept because I had missed him too but this was all such a mess. “Don’t say that Mark.” “I mean it Amelia” he was raising his voice but I knew that he was just emotional “what about Charlie? he’s such a good guy..” he cut me off “do you feel for him the way you feel about me?” He asked and I couldn’t look at him because I was scared of what I was going to say or do. I’d had the most fantastic time with Charlie and he was everything you could ever want in a man but Mark and I had a connection that I couldn’t deny. He searched over and took my hand and he brought my hand up to his lips and repeatedly kissed it. Then he ran his hand up my arm “I’ve missed you so much” he said and his warm hands on my skin instantly made me forget that we were arguing. I finally looked him in the eye and his sadness was overwhelming. He put his hand up to my chin and he leaned forward and kissed me. It was a soft kiss and it was loving and familiar. His lips caressed mines and I had to admit to myself that I had missed him too. Our kiss deepened and then I murmured against his lips that we should stop but he didn’t listen. His tongue was exploring my mouth and his hands dragged up my thighs and I wasn’t wearing any underwear. I wondered how I got from being in bed alone to kissing Mark in Charlie’s car. I put my hands on his chest to push him away but I couldn’t do it, instead I pulled him closer. Before I knew what was happening we were in the back seat and he had took off my nighty and I was completely naked. He was hungrily kissing me and rubbing his hands over my naked body and although it felt fantastic it also felt wrong. I knew I couldn’t be in a relationship with Charlie but I didn’t want to hurt him either. This was disrespectful to him and I couldn’t let it go any further. But the idea of being in public and that someone could catch us and Marks manly musk turned me on and I couldn’t even think straight. I had missed everything about Mark and even when I had been sleeping with Charlie I couldn’t help but compare him to Mark. Charlie was a fantastic lover but Mark and I had a connection that I couldn’t deny. I heard Mark undo his belt buckle and I could feel how much he wanted me. He pulled down his trousers at the front and I was so wet and turned on that with one thrust he was inside me. We wanted each other so badly that I hadn’t even asked him to put on a condom. I could feel him stretching me out and going deeper with every movement but I couldn’t let it happen. It took all of my self restraint to push him away. “Mark stop” I said as I broke away from our kiss and he looked concerned “are you ok?” I pushed him away and sat up and grabbed my night dress “no I think I should go home” he watched me breathlessly as I put on my cloths “I get it, I feel guilty too. I love him.. but I love you” “I’m sorry Mark, this is such a awful situation, but this isn’t right, can you take me home?” He nodded his head but he looked worried “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have pushed you like that” “no it’s not your fault” I said and although I wanted to be with him I knew it would never work out between us. He got into the driving seat and I got back into the passenger seat and I felt guilty but I was glad I stopped it before it went any further. He started the car and pulled out of the car park. It was quiet between us and I could see how stressed he was. I put my hand out and rubbed his arm. “Mark are you ok?” He shook his head “No!” Was all he said and although I felt guilty I could see that he was really struggling. He pulled up my drive way and he turned to me as I took off my seat belt to get out. I just wanted to get as far away from this whole situation as I could. “I think that we should all just try and forget about all of this and go our separate ways because someone is going to get hurt” l said because I was desperately trying to think with my head rather than my heart. “so you want all of us to be hurt?” “I need to get to bed” I said and he leaned across and kissed my cheek and I could feel a tear in my eye. I couldn’t help myself so I grabbed him into a hug because I wanted to feel his strong arms around me one last time. When I finally managed to pull away from him he looked teary too but I knew I was doing the right thing. I got out of the car without another word and I heard him slowly pull out of the drive way as I went inside and I was glad my front door hadn’t locked because I didn’t have any keys with me. I went inside and closed the door behind me. My house was silent and I felt so lonely that I had to let out a sob. I knew I had to pull myself together because I was exhausted so I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and I could hear the faint sound of music coming from the living room. It hadn’t been playing a few minutes before and although it had gave me a fright it was oddly calming to hear music because the silence had been deafening. When I went into the living room my old record player that Richard had bought me was on and it was playing the song from our first dance at our wedding. I looked at the photo of him on the fireplace and I suddenly I felt angry. I picked up his photo and said “why did you have to die and leave me?” But when I looked at his beautiful smile and gorgeous blue eyes I couldn’t be angry because it wasn’t his fault. I took the photo with me to bed and I lay down on my side of the bed and I wept. My bedroom was in complete darkness and I was holding his photo and sobbing. I felt his side of the bed dip and it felt like someone got into the bed next to me. But I wasn’t unsettled because knowing that he was there when I was so upset comforted me. But he wasn’t really there and that’s what hurt the most.

The next day I woke up and my head was banging. I felt like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards. My heart was pounding out of my chest with anxiety because I couldn’t stop thinking about Charlie and Mark and how much trouble I had caused. Even though I had no idea that they were friends I still blamed myself. I wondered if Mark had told Charlie that we had met on a hook up app and that I had ghosted him too. I also wondered if they were sitting around comparing notes about the s*x they had both had with me. But I had to put that out of my mind because I was never going to see either of them again. A few hours later I was on the phone to Mandy telling her all about my trip away to Bali. She said she was seeing someone and that it was serious between them. Mandy said she couldn’t wait for me to meet her and I must admit I did feel a little bit jealous that she had found what I desperately wanted. I didn’t mention Charlie or that I had seen Mark again because I was at home and I didn’t want Richard to hear me. I knew he was dead but I could feel that he was there. There was a knock at the door and I thought that it might be Robert because he said he was coming over for lunch but when I looked at my watch I noticed that he was really early and I hadn’t even started cooking us anything yet. I ended the call to Mandy and ran down stairs to find out who it was and when I opened the door it was Mark and Charlie. They were both standing there staring at me and I felt like my heart had stopped beating for a second. “Can we come in Amelia, I think the three of us need to talk” said Mark and I genuinely felt like I was going to faint.