First Hero

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

The woman reminded me of the old Greek goddesses. She wore a golden toga that revealed her muscular arms and shapely legs rather finely. Her blonde hair fell down her shoulders in waves, while her green eye crackled with electricity. She seemed to stand on the clouds themselves, clutching a lightning-bolt-shaped spear in one hand.

“Who is that?” said one of the police officers in awe. “A goddess?”

I agreed with the police officer. While I didn’t believe in most gods, I had to admit that this woman could definitely pass for a goddess if she wanted to. She had everything she needed to pull it off: Unnaturally great beauty, radiating power most people only ever dreamed of, and a really good resting witch face that made you think twice about crossing her. She even looked like a goddess judging humanity for its sins from her spot among the clouds. I wouldn’t be surprised if she found us wanting and smote us where we stood.

Rubberman, however, didn’t seem impressed by her. In fact, he just sighed and said, “Oh. Alice. Of course.”

I looked at Rubberman in confusion. “Alice? You mean you know that goddess?”

Rubberman rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I do. She’s not a goddess. She’s a—”

Rubberman was interrupted by a clap of thunder above. The woman, apparently named Alice, lowered down to the ground on a dark, crackling cloud. She descended slowly and regally, never moving her body, changing her expression, or doing anything to make her look to be anything other than a powerful goddess. She did, however, briefly meet Rubberman’s eyes, though based on how her scowl deepened further when she saw him, I could guess she wasn’t Rubberman’s biggest fan.

When the woman’s cloud got close enough to the road, she stepped off of it. Up close, Alice wasn’t that much taller than your average woman, but she was a good deal more muscular. Her age was hard to put. She could have been in her twenties or forties equally. Heck, she could have even been a teenager for all I knew. Either she had REALLY good genes or she used a lot of makeup to make herself look good.

The police officers, who had been staring stupidly at her in awe, quickly snapped out of their reverie and aimed their guns at her. The police officer at the front of the group, the one closest to Alice, said, “My name is Officer Jones and I am with the Golden City Police Department. State your name and your business. Put down your weapon and raise both of your hands so we can see them.”

Alice regarded the police officer with about the same amount of respect I regarded a cockroach I found in my kitchen sink. “You don’t want me to put down my weapon. It won’t make me any easier to kill … or any less lethal toward you idiotic cops who think that pulling out a g*n on a registered government superhero is a smart idea.”

“You’re a superhero?” said Officer Jones in surprise. Then he shook his head and said, in a serious tone of voice, “Then tell us your superhero name and the city where you work.”

Alice rolled her eyes in the same way a mother might show exasperation at her young child insisting they could sit at the adult table now. “Fine. My superhero name is Lady Thunder and I originally worked in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.”

“Oklahoma City?” said Officer Jones, squinting his eyes suspiciously. “What brings you all the way out here to Golden City?”

“I came to help clean up the mess that you and your fellow officers have made,” said Alice. She gestured imperiously at the smoking crater in the road where Makeup’s car had been. “Such as that clown who nearly got away with over ten million dollars in cash.”

“We didn’t ask for your help,” said Rubberman, stepping forward and glaring at Alice. I thought Rubberman had to be pretty brave to talk that way to such a powerful woman, especially when she glared at him in return. “Maybe you’ve got the wrong city, Alice.”

Lady Thunder stiffened as if Rubberman had just insulted her. “Ah, hello there, Dennis. I didn’t notice you, or your sidekick, standing there.”

Based on the way Lady Thunder’s eyes swept over us, I could tell that she had definitely noticed us standing here. Why she was being sarcastic about it, I didn’t know, but I decided that I didn’t much care for her.

“Kind of hard to miss us,” said Rubberman, putting his hands on his chest. “Our costumes are pretty colorful, as superhero costumes tend to be.”

“I was trying to be generous, Dennis,” said Lady Thunder, her voice almost as rumbling as an actual thunderstorm now. “By saying I didn’t notice you, I meant to make you look good. Because if the great Rubberman allowed a simple bank robber to get away so easily like that … well, that wouldn’t speak very well of such a famous superhero, now would it?”

“Hey,” I said, stepping forward as well, glaring at Lady Thunder. “It’s not our fault he almost got away. I mean, how we were supposed to know that Makeup’s car could bounce like that? It’s not like we can read minds.”

Lady Thunder looked at me with so much annoyance that I was almost afraid she was going to blast me to pieces here and now for daring to speak to her that way. “Is this your new sidekick, Dennis? He’s scrawnier than the last one, though less prone to becoming a supervillain, I hope.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but then Rubberman rested a hand on my shoulder and whispered, “Beams, don’t. Let me handle her.”

I closed my mouth. Although I didn’t like Lady Thunder one bit, I decided to let Rubberman do the talking. He seemed to know her better than me, so it was probably wiser to let him do the talking. Besides, if I had to keep talking to her, I’d probably end up saying something I regretted.

Rubberman looked at Lady Thunder with a less-than-impressed frown and said, “Beams has been a fine sidekick. Thanks for noticing, but where’s yours? Did you fire him again, like you did to the last three?”

Lady Thunder smirked. “Actually, Dicer is doing something even more important than smiting random bank robbers. He is in Golden City having a discussion with the city’s mayor even as we speak.”

“He is?” said Rubberman, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “You mean Mayor Thomas knew you were going to be here?”

“He did, yes,” said Lady Thunder. “As well, my new teammates are also in town setting up a base downtown for our operations here in your hometown.”

“Hold on,” said Rubberman, holding up a hand. “Slow down, there. What is Dicer talking to Mayor Thomas about? What teammates are you talking about? Last I heard, you were a solo hero. Did you finally join Heroes United or something?”

Now it was Lady Thunder’s turn to look confused, though I also thought it was more like she was mocking our own confusion. “You mean you haven’t heard? I guess the rumors of Mayor Thomas’ loss of faith in you and your sidekick were true if he didn’t inform you about the changes coming to Golden City.”

“Changes?” said Rubberman. “What changes? And Mayor Thomas does respect our work a great deal, thank you very much.”

“Believe what you will,” said Lady Thunder. “I am simply making observations based on what you’ve told me. It’s very simple.”

I was as confused as Rubberman. The police officers also looked confused, which told me that they weren’t in on whatever Lady Thunder was doing, either.

“Then spit it out,” said Rubberman. “We’re all ears.”

“Very well,” said Lady Thunder with a shrug. “Starting today, you and your sidekick, Beams, are no longer going to be working as the official superheroes of Golden City.”