Prologue
3401 Words
PROLOGUE
DIESEL
TEN YEARS AGO
I stare at her.
I stare at her a lot, actually. An embarrassing amount of time.
But Rowan doesn’t notice. She hardly acknowledges me, except for when she brushes me off and rolls her eyes at my lame attempts to flirt. I shouldn’t be flirting with her, considering she’s my best friend’s little sister. Riley’s three years older than her, which makes him even more protective. She’s only a year younger than me, though.
Tonight’s her eighth grade winter formal, and since I’m a freshman in high school, I can’t go to protect her from those little pricks. They mindlessly stare at her t**s and long, tanned legs and aren’t subtle about it. I spent the better part of middle school giving them threatening glares. And even though I told myself it was for Riley’s sake—as his friend—that was mostly a lie. I did it because none of them deserved her, and I wanted her for myself. Still do.
Given that she pays no mind to me, I’ve resorted to making fun of her instead. It’s not the type of attention I want, but for a moment, it means I have hers, even if she’s telling me off or smacking me. It’s childish—like a boy chasing a girl to pull on her pigtails on the playground—but it’s the only way Rowan will actually look at me or speak to me.
Pathetic as hell, I know.
One of these days, Rowan Bishop will notice me as more than a nuisance or her brother’s best friend. Guaranteed.
“Boys!” their mother screams out the second-story window. River’s like a mom to me, considering how long I’ve known the Bishops and how much time I spend on the ranch. “Hurry up! She’s ready to go, and I need to take pictures!”
Riley and I jump out of his dad Alex’s truck and rush toward the house. Even though we’re still dirty from the day’s work, we try to brush off as we head up the steps to the porch. I help on their family ranch on the weekends and during the summer. It’s my own personal escape, and I can’t wait until school’s over so I can be here every day. It’s much different here than in town where I live, and I never want to leave.
The front door whips open, and we enter. I wait with bated breath for Rowan’s grand entrance down the staircase. My clothes and hair are a mess, and I’m embarrassed by how much of a disaster I must look, but when Rowan rounds the corner in a bright pink gown, my throat goes dry. Even if I were dressed in my Sunday best, I’d still be out of her league.
She smiles wide, her adorable dimples peeking through, as she holds the railing and walks down. Alex and River wait by the bottom step with pride filling their faces. Pulling out her phone, River begins taking pictures, then demands a daddy-daughter photo. Alex is wearing his typical cowboy hat, Wranglers, and work T-shirt and smiles next to Rowan who looks like royalty.
“Get in the picture, Riley,” River orders, waving him over after she gets a few good ones of just the two of them. She snaps several more, and then I step in.
“You need a family photo with all of you,” I tell her, reaching for her cell. “Get in the picture, Mrs. Bishop.”
She hands it over. “Oh, you’re a gem, Adam!” Aside from my mother and grandmother, River’s the only other person who uses my real name. I’ve repeatedly told her to call me Diesel—a nickname I’ve had for as long as I can remember—but she insists I’ll always be Adam to her.
“No problem, Mrs. B.”
River stands on one side of Rowan, and Riley and Alex are on the other. I step back, then click a few shots. Aside from their different hair color, Rowan looks identical to her mother. Riley’s always resembled his dad, even when he was younger.
“One more,” I say, then motion for them to move closer and tell them to smile wider.
Rowan doesn’t look at the camera. Rather, she flicks her eyes to mine, and when the corner of her lips tilts up, I imagine that smile is for me. A grin fills my face, and my imagination goes wild with thoughts on how I’d make this night memorable for her if I were her date. It’d be nothing short of perfection as we danced to her favorite songs, drank punch, then ended the evening with a quiet stroll under the stars.
“Alright, I’m gonna be late!” Rowan lifts the front of her ball gown, revealing cowboy boots, then walks out of the group. I smirk at her shoes, knowing she’d never wear heels unless she was forced. Hell, I’m surprised she’s even wearing such a poofy dress. She’s worn sundresses to church before, but never something this fancy. She’s a natural tomboy, born and raised on a ranch, and has always preferred getting dirty over pompoms. Riding horses is second nature to her, and she often gives me a run for my money when it comes to hard work and getting chores done. It makes me like her even more.
“You sure you don’t want a picture of you shoveling s**t in the barn? You in your natural habitat?” I tease, knowing it’ll annoy the hell out of her.
“Now, now, Adam. Be nice and watch your language.” River steps forward, grabbing her phone from my grip, and gently pats my cheek.
“Yeah, Adam.” Rowan huffs and crosses her arms over her chest, which was a really bad thing to do. The movement pushes up her t**s, and I immediately avert my gaze, trying not to stare. “Maybe you should go back into your natural habitat, in the mud, with the pigs.”
Riley howls, cracking up so hard, I’m worried he’ll piss himself. This is an ongoing thing in the Bishop house. Me teasing Rowan, her throwing it right back, and Riley laughing at my expense.
“You ready to go, princess?” Alex asks, digging his keys out of his pocket.
“You sure you don’t want me to take her?” Riley interjects. “I’m her big brother after all and way cooler than you.”
“Excuse me?” Alex nudges Riley in the arm, wearing a playful grin. “I managed to land your mother, didn’t I? I smooth-talked her into moving to Texas, after all. She had it bad.”
“According to my math,” Rowan chimes in, “and my sources, Mom was knocked up with Riley and came back to tell you, which means y’all had s*x before marriage.”
My cheeks heat at Rowan’s bold words, but honestly, I expect nothing less from her.
“Rowan Rose Bishop!” River scolds. “Who told you that?”
“Grandma,” she reveals. “Like it’s a secret? Riley was born before your wedding date.”
“So Riley’s a bastard. What else is new?” I tease.
“Language, Adam.” River gives me a firm look before turning to Riley. I can’t help but laugh, considering the conversation. “We’re taking Rowan to the dance, but I need you to pick her up at midnight. I’m trusting you to be there on time.”
It’s Saturday night, and knowing Riley as well as I do, he’s not gonna like this.
“Ma, what? Why do I have to pick up the little rug rat?”
“Because you’re so cool. Also, your father and I are going to bed early so we can all get up for church in the morning,” she says pointedly. “I expect you to be there tomorrow, too.”
Riley groans with an eye roll, which causes me to snort.
“Yes, ma’am,” he begrudgingly mutters.
“Good boy.” She sweetly pats his head like he’s a five-year-old.
The three of them leave, and I’m anxious the moment Rowan’s out of sight.
“Thank God, they’re gone. Let’s go drink in the barn!” Riley shouts, pushing me toward his room. “I’m gonna shower first, though.”
“Did you suffer a blow to the head?” I ask as he follows me down the hallway. “You have to pick Rowan up in four hours.”
“So?” He shrugs without a care in the world.
“So you shouldn’t be drinkin’, smartass.”
“I’ll be fiiiiiine. Quit worryin’, pretty boy.” He slaps my shoulder. “You can be my DD.”
He knows damn well I’m only fourteen and don’t have my license, but that hasn’t stopped me from driving his drunk a*s around before. I drive around the ranch sometimes, and I’ve had to take him home from partying in town a couple of times but never with Rowan in the truck.
Over three hours pass, and I’m stuck dealing with a s**t-faced Riley in the barn we hang out in on the weekends. He invited a few friends who brought an ice chest full of their parents’ booze. I tried to slow Riley down, but he downed six beers and four shots of bourbon like there were no consequences. Now he’s three sheets to the wind.
“Dude, you’re supposed to pick up Rowan in forty-five minutes. You need to start chugging water,” I tell him. My last beer was over an hour ago, and I only had two total.
“Stop being a p***y,” Riley slurs.
I check my watch. By the time I manage to get him into the back seat and drive into town, it’ll be close to midnight. I don’t want to keep Rowan waiting around by herself or worse, with those little d***s from her class.
“Say goodbye. We’re going.” I stand and tower over him. Riley might be muscular from working on the ranch, but I have a good four inches and fifty pounds on him. Grabbing his arm, I lift him to his wobbly feet. “You’re gonna be puking your fuckin’ guts out.”
“Whatever you say, Dad,” he mocks, and the other guys laugh. If he wasn’t my best friend and a decent human—sober—I’d leave his a*s out here for his parents to find in the morning.
With fifteen minutes to spare, I pull into the parking lot. Since Riley’s passed out in the back seat, I leave the truck running and hop out. Parents are already starting to arrive to pick up their kids, so instead of waiting out here, I go inside to check on Rowan.
I spot her under the disco ball dancing with a bunch of girls. She’s smiling, but it seems forced. Her cousin Mackenzie is with her, drawing tons of attention, as usual. Ten minutes later, the DJ announces the final slow song of the night. He then tells the guys to find their sweetheart, and one approaches their circle but grabs Kenzie’s hand. She grins wide, and the two of them walk away. I watch Rowan’s fake smile drop as do her eyes before wrapping her arms around her waist and leaving the dance floor.
What the f**k?
As much as I don’t want guys near her, I don’t understand why the hell none of them at least asked her to dance.
I warned most of them off last year, so it must’ve actually worked.
After thirty seconds of watching her stand alone with that sad expression, I can’t stand it. Suddenly, I’m halfway across the gym, moving toward her.
“Row…” I grab her attention, and she looks shocked as hell.
“What are you—?”
I tilt my head toward the dance floor. “C’mon. Let’s dance.” Holding out my hand, I nod for her to take it.
When she finally does, I don’t even try to contain my smile. I lead her out into the middle under the sparkling disco ball, then pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her.
“What’re you doing here?” she asks, holding my shoulders because she’s too short to place her arms around my neck. But holding her this way is perfect.
“Your i***t brother is as drunk as a skunk, so I drove us here. Came inside to check on you and didn’t want you to miss out on dancing to the last song.”
She licks her lips and swallows. “The boys here don’t like me. They say I’m too much. Too loud. Too—”
“They’re fuckin’ morons,” I interject.
Rowan looks down and shrugs. “Oh well.”
I tilt up her chin and gaze into her gorgeous brown eyes. “Trust me, none of them are good enough for you.”
“You have to say that.” She sighs, her shoulders rising and falling. “You’re my brother’s best friend.”
I scoff. “No, I don’t. I’m not your brother.”
She shrugs casually. “Close enough. You pick on me worse than him. Always around. I’m surprised you haven’t tried to pants me in public yet.”
Our laughter eases the tension. “That’s Riley’s specialty,” I tease, remembering the time he did it to Rowan a few years ago at one of their family’s picnics. She was livid and ended up sucker punching him between the legs.
“Middle school boys are dumb,” she states.
A smile spreads across my face. “High school ones are too. Don’t forget that.”
When she’s a freshman next fall, I’m going to have to try not to be so overbearing. I’ll be a sophomore, and we’ll be on opposite sides of the building, but I’ll still keep my eye on her. It’ll be better than her attending another school altogether. Hopefully, I’ll see her around after class, considering I play football and baseball, and she’ll probably try out for the softball team.
Everyone in this town is well aware of my family ties with the Bishops. I make sure Rowan and her cousins aren’t messed with, especially when Riley isn’t around.
“I love this song,” she says softly.
I know she does. She plays it on repeat in her room. I’ve noticed she likes listening to slower songs while she studies and does homework.
“Who’s the singer?” I ask as if I’m clueless.
“Shawn Mendes,” she tells me and I nod, pretending it’s brand-new information. If Rowan knew how much I watched and obsessed over her, she’d think I was batshit crazy. Hell, when it comes to her, there’s no doubt I am.
Riley would kick my a*s if he ever found out.
As the music begins to fade, I frown at the anticipation of losing her touch. She blinks up at me, and a small smile plays on her lips that are only inches from mine. Forgetting where we are, who we are, I slide my hand up her arm and cup her cheek. I study her expression, waiting to see if she pushes me away, and when she doesn’t, I lean in closer.
She inhales sharply as my lips softly brush hers. I taste the fruit punch she must’ve drunk earlier, but we’re harshly interrupted before I can deepen the kiss. We pull apart when a loud commotion echoes through the gym.
“f**k,” I mutter under my breath as I see Riley staggering toward the middle where we’re standing. “C’mon, we gotta go.”
I reach for her hand, but then think better of it and drop my arm. Riley’s wasted, bumping into tables and students as he nearly falls on his a*s.
“What the hell?” I steady him, grabbing his arms. “Why didn’t you stay in the truck?”
“I couldn’t find you,” he stutters loudly. “You left me.”
Everyone stares, and when I look at Rowan, her cheeks are beet red. She’s embarrassed as hell, and it’s all my fault. If I had just waited outside for her, Riley would’ve never stumbled in here looking like a fool.
“You were passed out,” I tell him between gritted teeth. “I came in to grab Rowan.”
He blinks, looking around me as if he just realized his sister was next to me. “Oh.” He wobbles from side to side, and his eyes are in slits as he stares at us.
Ignoring his suspicious look, I straighten my shoulders and try to get us out of here fast. “Let’s go.”
I turn Riley around and walk him to the exit, hoping no one gives her s**t for this later. While he picks on his sister regularly and has zero qualms about embarassing her in front of family, he’d never intentionally humiliate her in front of her classmates.
“Shotgun!” Riley shouts once we’re outside. How the hell he’s still standing is beyond me. He’s plastered, and if he doesn’t sit the f**k down, he’s going to vomit all over his truck.
I manage to get him into the passenger seat, and Rowan follows me to the driver’s side. She gets in the back, and I sit behind the wheel. Once we’re all buckled, I glance up in the rearview mirror and see her stunning brown eyes. We barely kissed, but I felt it all over. I wonder if she did too, but now isn’t the time to bring it up.
We’re halfway to the ranch when Riley perks up and looks over at me.
“I know I’m a little drunk…” he begins, slouching. “But did I see you kissing my sister in the gym?”
My eyes round, and I swallow down the panic streaming through my veins. He’s too drunk to really kick my a*s at the moment, but that doesn’t mean I won’t pay for it tomorrow.
“Dude, what?” I contort my face. “You must be more hammered than I thought if you’re seeing me lock lips with your kid sister.”
He leans back against the seat. “I know what I saw,” he grumbles.
“You’re wrong,” I tell him flatly. “You must’ve seen another couple.”
Riley turns just enough to look at his sister. “Rowan?”
“What?” she asks as if she’s annoyed.
“Were you kissing my best friend?”
Without any hesitation, she replies, “Gross, no. He offered to dance with me, and that’s it.”
Riley scoffs, not believing her. “Then why was his mouth so close to yours?”
“Do you really think I’d waste my first kiss on him?” she spits out.
Jesus f**k.
That was her first kiss?
“He’s your annoying best friend who follows me around like a sad puppy,” she adds. “The last person on earth I’d ever want to kiss. If his mouth ever touched mine, I’d knee him in the jewels.”
Ouch.
Her words hurt like a thousand needle pricks. If her plan was to convince him it wasn’t real, she’s golden. If it was to hurt me in the process, then mission f*****g accomplished.
“Dayum.” Riley whistles, slapping his knee.
I glance up into the mirror, seeing her narrowed eyes and tense jaw. What the hell? I denied it to save my friendship, but she went a step further, dragging me through the mud in the process. Did she expect me to tell him? Is she pissed I didn’t?
Silence draws on until we pull up to their house. Riley passed out against the window, and drool is sliding down his chin.
“Can you cover for your brother?” I ask Rowan when I open the back door and hold out my hand to help her out. She dismisses me and jumps down. “Tell your parents he’s sleeping over at my house tonight?”
She shrugs, then nods. “Alright, fine.”
I shut the door and follow her to the porch. “Rowan, wait.”
She spins around, her face emotionless.
“You know I only denied it so he wouldn’t beat my face in, right?” My eyes plead with her to believe me.
“It doesn’t matter, Adam. I don’t care.”
I flinch at her harsh words. She leaned into me, I know she did, so why is she acting as if I’m the biggest inconvenience of her life?
Furrowing my brows, I step closer. “Was that really your first kiss?”
She bursts out laughing, crossing her arms. “Yeah right.”
“What the hell is your problem?” I finally ask.
Before she can respond, the front door swings open. “I thought I heard voices out here.” Alex looks at the two of us, squinting. “Where’s Riley?”
“We’re gonna hang out at my house if that’s alright?” I step away from Rowan. “I’ll make sure he’s at church tomorrow, though, sir.”
Alex nods, then looks at Rowan, smiling. “Did you have fun at the dance?”
Rowan glances at me before climbing the steps and nods. “It was fine, Dad. I’m tired, though.”
“Okay, kiddo. Let’s get you to bed then.”
“Good night,” I call out, waving to both of them. Alex waves, then shuts the door.
I drive Riley to my house in town and hope I don’t get pulled over in the process. My parents are asleep, so I quietly help him to the couch in my room. The asshole can sleep there without a pillow and blanket for putting me through this s**t tonight. Hopefully, he’ll forget what he saw between his sister and me.
It seems as though Rowan already has, so perhaps I should too.
Though there’s really no way I can.
What she doesn’t know is that was my first kiss too, and I’ve been waiting for her.
I don’t understand why she’s so pissed, but I’ll do whatever it takes to figure it out.
- Writer
