Regrettable Vengeance

Chapter 3: Diary

Liah’s POV

A lot of events took place while I was gone and I can’t believe that I came back to my friend killing herself without knowing the reason.

And now, here I am looking around her room, missing her presence in it.

I hired people to clean the blood stains that were scattered everywhere.

I decided that I will still stay here and Xian told me that he will also stay here with me because he is worried that I might do something to myself if I live alone, by myself.

I think that will be better because even I, myself, don’t know if I will do something to my wrist or neck or to anyone or anything.

Plus, the reason why I decided to come back here is to have someone to be with me, right?

So, what’s the point if I don’t have anyone to accompany me?

I then continued to roam through our pictures that were on the walls and on top of her bedside table.

We were so happy in those photographs that our laughter were ringing through my ears, even our smiles.

I can imagine it all in my head.

But those smiles and laughter, is there still a possibility that I can see and hear them again?

My lips just formed a bitter smile thinking that it’s not possible anymore. That all of those were gone.

Agony is filling my entire world right at this moment and I don't know when will it ever end.

It hurts so much.

Really.

I wish I could go back to those times when everything's still fine.

While my mind is still flying within my deep thoughts, the door opened and revealed Xian holding a couple grocery bags.

“I will just cook food then I’ll call you after, ok?” I nodded slightly and replied with a small smile on my lips as a response.

After my reply, he went out of the room and proceeded to the kitchen to cook our dinner.

My eyes can’t help but heat up, urging the tears again when I saw Xian acting strong just to motivate me when I know that he is the one whose heart is hurting more.

I continued wandering around the room, lifting all the picture frames until one of them caught my attention.

I felt a bump on its back as if something was sitting in it, so I took it out of curiosity.

It's a paper and when I opened it, gosh! How many times to I have to cry my eyes out?

It was her last letter for us.

For me and Xian.

Liah & Xian,

I’m so thankful that God blessed me with such wonderful best friends like the both of you. I know that by the time you are reading this, I’m already gone. Please take good care of yourselves, okay? Don’t get sick and stay healthy always. I’m sorry if all this time, I haven’t told you that I have a lot going through. That I was pretending to be fine. It’s just that I don’t want you to worry for me.

Then what am I here for?

I’m her best friend, right?

Why does she have to keep it all by herself?

I kept reminding her that I’m always here for her and that I’m ready to listen whenever she has a problem.

Is it not enough? I thought we were family.

The moment I finished reading the letter that she wrote for us that is full of goodbye's, thank you's and reminders, I can’t stop my tears from flowing like the falls.

Again.

My tears are flowing like an endless fall. Like there will be no end for it.

I feel like a worthless friend.

A worthless BEST FRIEND…

I wiped my tears using the back of my hand and took my time to calm myself down before I proceeded looking around her things again.

This time, I looked at her cabinets. All her things are organized according to its use.

Maiandra is such a neat person. She’s the one who is always reminding me to fix my things whenever they're messy.

In the first drawer, there are the art materials like pens and markers and on the next drawer are the medicines, sanitary napkins and a mini first-aid kit. But there is one thing that caught my attention.

It was a notebook.

Why is it here?

From what I know, all her notebooks are all placed neatly in the shelf on her table for studying, so this notebook's presence here is a weird encounter.

Curiosity took over my hands so I picked it up from the drawer and opened it.

There were no writings on the front page and on the back pages either so, I tried in the middle and finally found some words written in it.

I read them and before I realize, my tears were falling again.

It was her diary.

The diary where she wrote all her experiences in that hell school where she said she was fine.

I took my time to read the words she wrote. She expressed everything that she felt in this diary that were supposed to be told to me and Xian.

Minutes have passed and Xian entered the room to call me for dinner.

He was about to go when I told him to stop and pat the bed, telling him to sit beside me.

He obediently did what I asked and I gave him the notebook. I waited for him to finish it and not long after, tears were also falling from his eyes.

I looked at his hands and I can see that it is slowly tightening and I know the reason behind that.

That’s because of those people especially on that specific person!

“You were right, Liah. I should have told her. I should have confessed my feelings for her. I’m so stupid!” he is blaming himself for what happened but no! It wasn’t his fault.

It was those people’s fault.

Even though I only read their names for once, I already remembered it in my head.

How can I forget such nasty people?

Now that I know why such a strong girl like Maiandra took her own life, I won’t just let anything slide and let them live their lives without worrying for anything when they destroyed Maiandra’s.

I will get back on them! I will avenge Maiandra and give her the justice she deserves.

I will never forget the names of those horrible people and I will make them wish that they shouldn’t have been born and make them beg for death.

Kunstler Tan, Franklin Mariano, Mistral Cedilla, Rage Harlow, and especially that JAXTYN SHEATS.

I will make them feel the pain they have given to Maiandra twofold!