Regrettable Vengeance

Chapter 8: Cry to God

Liah’s POV

“By the way, how’s your school studies?” he asked, changing the topic.

It’s going easy for me because I like advance reading, so whenever my mind flies around, I still know what the topic is about.

“I’m doing fine. Come on. It’s Liah, you know! ” I replied in confidence.

He knows that I excel in school, so he let out a proud chuckle.

“It’s good to know that. Do not focus your whole attention on that plan that you are making. Don’t forget to enjoy your life, okay?” a big smile appeared in my face when Xian reminded me those.

It’s as if he stands as my father ever since dad died.

I suddenly miss my dad.

“Okay, Dad!” I said then laughed after that.

I want to hug him because I suddenly remembered dad from him.

So, I ran to him and give him a hug. He was shocked for a second and patted my back after.

“I miss my parents, Xian. I miss them so bad.” I can’t help but to tear up as I got reminded that they are already gone.

“I know, Liah. Be strong for them okay?” he said as he broke the hug.

I just nodded and went back to my seat to continue eating my food.

“I still won’t stop going there, Xian.”

He just nodded in agreement, clearly surrendering from my stubbornness.

“Alright, alright. You are the boss.” He said and smiled standing up from his seat because he already finished his meal.

If I can just tell him that I really appreciate and thank him nonstop for being there for me, I would do it.

"Thank you. Thank you, Xian for making me strong during these times even though you’re hurting inside too. And thank you for being strong for me. I love you. As a brother, of course. hehe.” I told him and stood up from my seat to fix the table that we ate at.

“Thank you, welcome and I love you too, Liah. As a sister, of course.” He said before we chuckled together.

---

Xian is right about what he said last night at dinner. I should not let my anger eat me because it will destroy me if I do so.

It is Saturday today, so Xian decided to visit Maiandra.

He asked me if I also want to go with him but I declined because I’m not ready to go see her yet.

Just yet.

I need to build my courage first then visit her when everything is done.

“Liah, I’ll go first. Are you sure that you don’t want to go this time?” he asked one last time before leaving the house.

“I’m not yet ready, Verdana” I answered.

“Okay, I won’t force you anymore. Be good here ok?” he said with a smile as he left and closed the door.

---

I was chilling and watching a movie while laying in the sofa at the living room when I heard a notification ring at my phone.

It was from Xian.

He told me that he has somewhere to go and it might take a while so he might not be able to cook for dinner.

When I read his message, I stood up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to cook food for myself.

I found pork on the fridge so I decided to cook for dinner. After eating, I washed the dishes then went to my room.

I can’t sleep so I decided to do my some of my home works to make myself tired. I did my home works until Xian arrived then after that, I went to sleep.

Today is Sunday and I decided to go to the church. I asked Xian if he is coming with me but he said that he is going back to his parent’s house because they called him for some family reasons.

I listened to the pastor and then prayed my heart out to God.

“God, I know that what I am about to do is against your will. You have told us that we shall never take revenge but I’m sorry God that I decided to continue it. I have been a good daughter of yours and obeyed you. I’m so sorry God.” At this point, my tears are now starting to flow from my eyes.

“I know that what I will do will make you disappointed of me but can I please ask your guidance, God? And please bless the people who loves and supports me. Tell Maiandra that I miss her so much. I also want to thank you God for the unending love that you kept giving me even though I kept sinning and kept being an imperfect person.”

I ended my prayer and ended the mass then decided to go to the seat under the broken streetlight.

I am sitting on the bench that Maiandra has told in her diary, minding my own world and clearing my thoughts.

I cried silently because I can’t understand why this has happened to me. Why do all the important people in my life disappear and all that I have left is Xian.

I fear that he will be gone from me also and I don’t want that to happen.

Please God, he is the only one I have left.

Please don’t take him away from me.

Just the thought that Xian might be gone from me makes me cry harder. I folded my knee and cried there so that no one will see me crying.

After letting my tears fall to my heart's content, I decided to stand up and leave this place, but a handkerchief suddenly showed up in front of me being held by a person I didn’t expect to be here.

He even saw me crying…