Her Mother's Daughter

Part 3: Alone

A piercing, wailing scream woke me up, and I found myself under the alatiris tree again when I opened my eyes. It was dusk here, almost nighttime. Crying echoed in the distance as well as the march and screams of angry men speaking in a language I did not understand.

I stood up and looked at my body. It was slightly older than the body I had in my previous visit here.

“Eve! Run!” a voice from the distance yelled at me, followed by a muffled yelped. I turned to look away from the direction where the voice came from then turned back.

I felt a sudden surge of blood in my chest and in my legs at the sound Grace’s voice. Against my better judgment, I ran towards her. In the distance, the red house began to loom over the entire field. Bonfires were lit all around it and surrounded by small tents. The red house was wide open, and from the insides, the screams and cries of women echoed as if from one voice. On one side far from the mansion was a pile of dead bodies.

I stopped to hide behind a tree when I saw Grace on the steps going up to the entrance doors. She was held by her hair by a soldier in brown uniform.

She looked scared, but she dared not fight back. Even in the darkness, I could see the bruises on her face and the cuts on her arm. They dragged her into house along with other women who looked like they were my age, and some younger. I traced a path into the house and found that I can only approach it without being seen is if I go through the dead bodies. I took a deep breath and walked slowly towards the house, keeping close to the shadows of the trees surrounding the sprawling property.

I felt my blood curdle at the sight of the dead bodies. Many of them were men, but some of them were older women. They all had big brown eyes like Grace’s, and they were all frozen open. I hesitated to take another step, afraid to desecrate their peace, afraid to see the horrified look on their faces or the mangled state of their bodies up close.

I looked forward to see how else I could enter the building. I traced a line of thick vines on the side of the house, leading up to an open window. I took a chance, held my breath, and stepped forward, through the piles of bodies. The smell of burnt flesh wafted in the air, and my stomach lurched. At the base of the vine, I swallowed the lump in my throat and climbed up, feeling my body lighter after eight months of carrying my baby in my own time.

At the window, I peeked in and saw five women crying all over the closed room. They looked at me like they would look at a stranger, with hope in their eyes and silent prayer on their lips. When they saw me in the light, when they saw that I was just a girl their age, I watched the light go out of their eyes.

“Eve, what are you doing here? Don’t let them see you!” Grace said in whispered tone, pulling me into the shadows of her chosen corner. She looked younger. Her eyes didn’t hold the same darkness that her future self held. “I told you to run! Are you crazy?”

“I wanted to help you,” I told her, taking both her hands in mine. I looked at the other women around me. “We can climb out this window here—”

“And then what? What do you think the dayo will do when they see a group of us running away from the house?” a woman, the one who looked the oldest in the group, cut me off.

“We might as well ask them to shoot us dead right here, right now,” another younger woman said.

I looked to Grace to help me, but she shook her head. “Someone tried to escape this morning.”

“She’s the one screaming in the next room right now,” the other older woman said.

“What do you suppose we do?” I asked her exasperatedly.

“Stay quiet. They’ll tire out soon,” the older woman answered for Grace.

“What if—?” I asked.

Grace squeezed my hand and whispered, “Don’t be cruel. Hope is all we have left now.”

At that, we all kept quiet.

“They won’t notice if one of us escapes. They don’t know you’re here. You can still run,” Grace began. “You can go out the way you came in.”

“I’m not going without you!” I said, my voice a little louder, drawing the attention of the guard outside their door.

The older woman glared at me, and I looked away from her.

I whispered almost impulsively, “You go.”

Grace looked at me, wide eyed and mouth agape. “You can’t take my place. I won’t let you.”

“I’ll be alright,” I reassured her. She shook her head.

“I’ll go,” the older woman said, standing up and going out the window first. “You two can die here together.”

They pulled her back from the window, but she fought back, randomly scratching, punching, and pulling at my and Grace’s hairs. The other girls tried to pull us apart, but our fight caused a loud raket, which forced the guard to open the door.

He smacked the older woman until she was unconscious. Grace and I held onto each other as the guards pulled the women apart. More of them came in, and finally two guards pulled me away from Grace and put us in separate rooms.

I looked at Grace’s face disappear into her dark room before the soldier closed the door behind him. They threw me into a smaller room and slammed the door behind them.

I slammed a fist on the door, but when a guard opened it, he held up a pistol to my face. I fell back and crawled into a dark corner as he shut the door on me again.

The cries and shrieks of women in despair echoing in the darkness. Among those voices, I thought I heard Grace’s.

I hugged my knees and cried into it. What have I done? I need to get out of here.

I closed my eyes and allowed my consciousness to be consumed by the darkness. When I opened them again, I was still in the same dark room.

My eyes adjusted to the light coming in through the slim space under the door. It was just a small, empty windowless room with gray walls and dried blood on floor.

After what felt like hours of waiting, listening to Grace’s voice, and hoping that she had found a way to fight back, the door of my room opened.

A tall man stood there, light coming from behind. His front a monstrous shadow of his form.

I cowered into a corner as he closed the door behind him and approached me, taking off his clothes piece by piece in the process.

I backed myself hard into a corner in fear, knowing that there was no escape this time.

He pulled at my ankles, and put all of his weight on me.

I dared not look at his face. I turned to the side and closed my eyes.

A searing pain shot through my body, and then finally, the sweet escape of true darkness came to me.

***

I woke up with a startled gasp. I was in my hospital bed again, and Lola Amor had fallen asleep on her chair, her hand still on top of mine.

I heard a phone vibrate in her bag, and I surreptitiously took it to check my phone. There was message from John.

“I’m outside. Your mother won’t let me in.”

I typed up a reply, “Tell her I want to see you,” but I didn’t send this. I deleted that one and typed up another reply. “Tell her I want to see her.”

And I sent that one to him. He replied with the thumbs-up emoji, which annoyed me. It was funny how a single stupid doodle of a thumbs-up could downplay the mess we got each other into. If he had worn protection like I told him to, if I had been religious about my pills, then we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Fucking thumbs-up.

The curtains were pulled open and there was my mother, looking all worried. “What is it, anak?”

“Nothing’s wrong, mother. I just didn’t want you to talk to him,” I told her, putting my phone down on my side. Lola Amor woke up when her daughter sat next to her on the chair next to my bed.

“You know he’s here then?” my mother asked.

“Who’s here?” Lola Amor looked at her then at me. “The lazy bastard’s here?”

Her daughter nodded.

“Did you send him away?” Lola Amor said.

“No, Eve asked me to return here,” my mother answered, then she looked at me. “Do you want to see him?”

Eve looked at her. “I don’t know.”

They only looked at me with half-hearted smiles on their faces. Lola Amor reached for my hand. My mother held on to our joined hands, too.

“Even if you don’t, know that you’re not alone,” Lola Amor said, her daughter nodding in agreement.

Searing pain shot through my body again, and I felt a gush of water flow between my thighs. Seeing the blood soak my sheets, my mother stood up immediately to call for help.

Lola Amor remained in this bright makeshift room with me, holding my hand, whispering, “You are strong. You are brave. You are loved, Eve,” over and over again.

The curtains were pulled back and a flurry of nurses and doctors surrounded my bed, forcing my lola to let go of my hand.

Lola Amor and my mother stood at the foot of my bed, forcing themselves to put on brave faces as they watch me writhe in pain. A man stood next to them, a shocked look apparent on his face when he saw all the blood.

“The baby is coming,” the doctor said after cursing. “Get this woman ready fo the LDR.” The nurses obeyed, and began injecting more drugs into my system.

As they rolled my bed out of the small makeshift room, I looked up at the blinding white lights. I tried to fight back the fluttering of my eyes, afraid that the darkness would take me someplace in the past that was even more unpleasant than the last one.

When tears overwhelmed eyes, I was forced to close them and face the darkness that awaited in another time.