Because, It's you.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

They say never to say never

They say to always look forward

But what happens,

When forward is not something to look towards?

~Oluwatoyosi

“Honestly, my supervisor is just annoying. Can you believe she changed my topic? Like, who does that? And this semester will soon end. Where do I start from like this?” Anjola kept complaining and I understood her.

Supervisors were assigned to every student in their final year to ‘supervise’ our projects for the year and they can be so annoying.

“Just calm down, didn’t you say that topic was giving you, problems? Then, this one should be easier.” Praise said trying to calm her down.

We were currently at a canteen on the campus. A week had passed and it was finally the day before the unveiling party to say, I wasn’t a bundle of nerves, would be a lie.

“Don’t worry Anjola. You can do it joor.” I tried to cheer her up.

Looking down at my watch, I saw that, it was already past one in the afternoon and we were done with our classes for today because all lecturers were attending a meeting which meant, no 4 pm class today.

“I have to go now, guys. I want to get to Iyana Oba to buy some materials since I can’t find them around the school. Praise, you’re going home from here, right?” I asked standing up.

“Yes o, I just want to go and sleep” she responded with a tired voice.

“Okay, I will call Amarachi to bring Grace home,” I said taking my bag from the chair.

“Okay, buy bread when you’re coming o” I just nodded and waved my hands telling all of them bye.

I quickly walked to the car park and took a cab to go to the nearest junction that led to the market.

After fifteen minutes, I dropped off the cab and entered a bus to the Iyana Oba market. I got there in under ten minutes since it wasn’t that far. I called Amarachi to let her know to drop off Grace at home since I might spend quite a long time at the market.

After getting confirmation from her, I hung up the phone only for another call to come in. Checking the Caller ID, I picked up the call.

“Why is that place so noisy?” Pastor Ayo said in a loud voice, making me chuckle.

“I’m at Iyana Oba market, sir. I came to buy some materials and shoes for Grace. Her inter-house sport is next week” I explained the reason for the noise.

“Ah, okay. How are you doing, my dear?” he asked, in his usual parent voice.

“I’m fine sir, I’ve been so busy these past few weeks with work and school” my tired voice wasn’t news to me. I could hear loud and clear, that I needed a break.

“Pele, o ma n se le be. How is Grace? Won’t you bring her home abi when is your break? Mummy has been saying she misses you guys” (Sorry, it usually happens like that)

I chuckled and made a mental note to call her. I walked through the market trying to find what I was looking for.

“Grace is fine sir. She is still in school and her mid-term break should be next week after her inter-house sport. My semester is almost over, we are about to start tests so exams start in three weeks and then for another three weeks, so let’s say in another month, we will both come for a holiday.” I said moving around the market still looking for what I wanted to buy. It looked like it was about to rain.

“Okay then, I just wanted to check on you. How about what we spoke about the last time? How is it going?” I knew, he was just being a caring person.

“It’s going pretty well, sir. We kept talking and he has been helping me with my studies as well. I’m even going to attend the unveiling party for his branch in Lagos with him tomorrow evening. I was still wondering whether I should go or not” I finally reached where I could buy the first material and I started pricing.

“It’s not a problem to go. Just be careful. Dara, I have to go, I have a meeting with the provincial pastor” he said in a hurry and I could hear the ruffling of papers. I said goodbye and hung up.

“Mummy, e de ta fun mi naw. Aso yi ni four hundred Naira per yard o, sheybi mo ra n last week?” (mummy, please sell it for me. This cloth is four hundred Naira, I’m the one who still bought it at that price last week).

I spoke Yoruba to the woman selling the material so she would try to reduce her price.

“Ah, omo mi, four hundred la tin ra. Oya mu four fifty-naira wa, je ki ba e ta. Jo omo mi, ba mi ra" (My child, we buy it for four hundred Naira from the main market. Okay, buy it for four fifty then, please my child, just buy it from me).

she said with a pleading voice making me know that she had not sold a lot and she was telling the truth about the price.

“Okay ma. E mu wa.” (Okay ma, bring it)

I decided to buy it at four hundred and fifty Naira and the woman seemed relieved that, I wanted to buy it.

I understood some of these market women and men, it was not their fault that they loved to increase the prices of their goods, sometimes it’s just because they need to feed their families and they are not making nearly enough for that. Although some are just wicked and want to extort money from people.

I went around buying what I needed and some things I needed for the house just remaining Grace’s shoes. Finally finding the shop to get the shoes, I went to buy them.

As I packed the shoes into the nylon given to me, I raised my head to scan for anything else I wanted to buy only to catch sight of the person that made my nights a nightmare. I stood so still, that I don’t know if I was breathing or not, as I looked at

Emeka, the man who almost r***d me going around the market, with no care in the world.

He looked clean like he never tried to destroy the life of an innocent girl. I wanted to cry but my brain must not be functioning because my eyes weren’t dispensing. I couldn’t take my eyes off him and like the world was against me, he turned and looked directly at me, my heart was racing so fast.

I wanted to stop looking at him but I couldn’t, my feet were frozen on the spot and just like that, I saw his eyes turn from confusion to realization and he started coming towards me.

My whole body went on autopilot, and I immediately took off running in the other direction. All I knew was, I had to get out of there, my mind was racing with different thoughts.

I got to the main road and looked for the bus going to my campus. I looked back to see that he had almost gotten to me, he kept calling my name like it sounded foreign in his mouth. I rushed to the bus and got in.

My hands were shaking as I placed them on my head to calm myself down. The bus was not complete yet, and just as if the heavens knew how hard my heart was pounding, the rain started falling heavily.

Turning my head to the window, I saw him looking back at me with pleading eyes and thankfully, the bus started moving. I still couldn’t cry as I looked at him so blankly even when the bus had moved from where he was, I couldn’t help but keep looking out the window.

I thought I was okay.

What kind of sick joke, is this?

I got home after thirty minutes because of the traffic due to the rain but I didn’t feel anything, not the rain, not the bodies on me on the bus, not even the people calling me on my way. I entered the house so tired only for my daughter to run to me.

“Mummy, welcome,” she said in my embrace and I could feel a whimper leave my lips as I held her so tight to my chest.

“Mummy what happen to you?” her voice was so soft. I let her go and gave her the shoes I bought while trying so hard to keep a smile on my face. I left her to unwrap the shoes and went to sit down.

“What’s wrong with you?” Praise asked in a quiet voice and I just looked at her with a sad smile.

“I’m just tired, Praise” she didn’t believe me.

“Something is wrong Dara. What is it?” I didn’t like being a bother to others, which was why I took Grace with me when I gained admission into the university. I sighed because I was just tired.

“I saw Emeka at the market,” I said numbly and ladies and gentlemen, my roommate turned into a statue. Grace kept shouting, at how happy she was about her shoes, while I just stared blankly.

“What do you mean, you saw Emeka at the market? Isn’t he supposed to be in prison?” she asked confused.

“Praise, the sentence for r**e isn’t that much, how much more attempted r**e? you know that” my voice was so small, I didn’t recognize it.

“My God. Thank God, he doesn’t know where you live. How did he look?” I told her exactly what happened only to get a shocked look in response.

“He can’t come near you Dara you know that right? Don’t let this take away your joy. He is your past. Just eat and rest. It will be fine” her attempt to cheer me up didn’t work. My past has always been a part of me I don’t know how to shake off.

“I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep. I should probably tell Adeyemi that I’m not going to his party anymore” I closed my eyes because I couldn’t think of anything else to do.

“You will do no such thing, Dara. I get that you still feel hurt from everything, even though it’s been years and now that you’re finally coming out of your shell, you want to run away from it again? You will go with Yemi tomorrow and put a smile on your face and for once in your life, don’t think about work, Grace, me, or your past, and enjoy yourself. Do you understand me?” Praise’s voice was strong while I just looked at her eyes that held anger and compassion, so I nodded and closed my eyes.

“Aunty Praise, what’s wrong with mummy?” Grace's voice became distant as I tried to fall asleep.

“Your mummy is fine, she’s just tired. Do you like your shoes?” That was the last thing I heard before falling into a deep sleep.