The Ransom Dealers

The Plan

Femi drove his car along the BUK road, on his way to see Abdul. It was a weekend and they had a Premier League football match to watch. It was a derby between Manchester United and Arsenal FC.

Femi was an ardent ManU fan, while Abdul was a supporter of The Gunners. What a waste of time, supporting Arsenal, Femi thought. Well, if anyone decided to support a losing team, then it's no skin off my nose!

As he drove along the BUK road, he thought again of his dwindled wallet. He was alarmingly broke, and he earnestly prayed that Abdul had set up a score for them this time. Femi and Abdul shared a mutually beneficial relationship, with each bringing his unique advantage into the mix.

Abdul was the brains, while Femi was the brawn. Abdul's strength was to think up and organize the scores to the last detail. Femi's strength was in execution, and he could carry out any operation with the accurate precision of a five star general.

He was approaching Abdul's house, opposite the Bayero University Old Campus gate. He trafficked, then swung his car to the right and into the parking space outside Abdul's apartment block. He switched off the engine, stepped out and locked the doors. He wanted to also change his Honda Accord EOD to a 2017 Honda Accord. Who doesn't like enjoyment?

Five minutes later, he was seated in one of the chairs in Abdul's sitting room, sipping a chilled orange juice and tuning to the DSTV Premier League Channel. The much anticipated game was to commence in about fifteen minutes time, by 4:30PM.

"Guy, you people are in for a beating today oh", Femi teased Abdul.

Abdul was in the kitchen, blending more assorted fruits for them to be entertained during the football game.

"Yeah you wish… The way a babe beats her guy ba?", he scoffed. "Whether it's the guy or his babe on top, he still enjoys the pleasure of the f**k!".

Femi guffawed. "You're such a funny guy! Anyway, we shall see what we shall see".

Abdul finished and came to sit near his friend.

"How far about what I told you?", Femi asked in a lower tone.

"It's done", said Abdul. "There is a smart play I want us to go over to see how workable it will be. But if it clicks, we are going to hammer oh!"

"That's my man!" Femi screamed. "I knew you'd come up with something in that hot brain of yours!"

The time was 4:30PM and the game was about to start.

Arsenal had lost more games than their fans cared to count, especially against Man United. But since the game was to be played in their home turf, the fans were optimistic that the gunners would turn up a trick this evening.

The Arsenal starting line up flashed on the TV screen. It was Leno, Sokratis, Koscielny, Monreal, Maitland-Niles, Ramsey, Xhaka, Kolasinac, Ozil, Lacazette and Aubameyang. Their substitutes were Cech, Mustafi, Elneny, Guendouzi, Suarez, Iwobi and Nketiah.

"If there is one thing I hate about a team, it's to see a Nigerian under utilized", Abdul complained. "How can this stupid coach keep Iwobi on the reserve bench?"

"This your coach is an apology wallahi. I wish Iwobi was a Man United player, you'd have seen how he will be performing excellently", Femi chipped in.

As they were discussing, ManU's line up came up:

Their starting line up consisted of De Gea, Young, Smalling, Lindelof, Shaw, Dalot, Fred, Matic, Pogba, Lukaku and Rashford. On the bench they had Romero, Bailly, Rojo, McTominay, Pereira, Martial and Greenwood

"Now, this is what I call 'The Killer Squad! Today it's not just gonna be a win, it's a m******e!", Femi said.

"A game is not over until the last whistle, so let's settle down and watch", Abdul said. "I have a very strong feeling that today you guys are toast!"

The game had commenced. It looked like Man United was going with the 4-4-2 formation this afternoon, which included a wing role for Pogba. Frankly, it caught Femi by surprise. He expected to see the midfielder on his element, distributing the ball and creating through passes for the strikers.

However, Femi was well aware of how dangerous Ozil was. The German playmaker was in a class of his own, with a unique kind of prowess on the ball. He was definitely a player to beware of. He noticed that the Gunners were lined up in what appeared to be a 3-5-2 formation.

This was definitely going to be a tough game for both sides, Femi concluded in his mind.

Already ten minutes into the game and every side was cautious. Arsenal's Kolasinac looped in a dangerous low cross from the left-hand side, but his striker Lacazette, despite timing his run to perfection, could not turn it in at the near post. The ball went behind for a goal kick.

Abdul hissed and sat back. He had already moved to the edge of his seat, expecting a goal. That was Arsenal for you, they made their fans sit on their ass all the time!

A couple of minutes later, Aubameyang also waltzed in with the ball and nearly burst clean in behind. Arsenal had started by far the better of the two sides, looking more at ease with their system than Man United.

"Let's talk about the score bro", Femi interrupted. "Who is it gonna be this time?"

"This time around we are not stealing anyone's money", Abdul said. "They are going to give it to us".

"What do you mean?", Femi asked.

"Exactly what I said. We are going to get money given to us by the account holder. There won't be any blow back, no police until the money has been delivered. And by then, all our traces have disappeared", Abdul said.

"Bros you know I hate riddles, so why not give it to me in English?" Femi said, clearly exasperated.

Abdul smiled. "We are going to fake a kidnapping and collect twenty million naira as ransom".

Femi gasped. To say he was shocked was an understatement, because he never thought Abdul had the balls to start an kidnap for ransom caper.

"What exactly do you mean, a fake kidnapping? Do we kidnap someone for real? Do we pretend that we have? How…?", He asked.

There was a roar from the TV as fans screamed "GOAL!!!!!!!" They both glanced at the screen in time to see Ozil doing his victory run.

The replay showed Ozil fire a long shot that caught De Gea out. The ball swerved horribly in the air and a wrong-footed De Gea watched helplessly as it flew past him.

It was a goal forty three minutes into the first half.

"Goal!!!!", Abdul cheered along with his fellow fans in the TV. It was a glorious moment for the Gunners.

"Abeg explain this idea to me", Femi said annoyingly. "One goal agains Man United is nothing, you of all people should know that".

"Yeah yeah yeah… but at least we have a goal so far. What about you guys?" Chided Abdul

"How many times have we beaten you guys? I can't even keep count", Femi said, laughing.

"Well, you know what they say… I get am before no be property!" Abdul countered.

"About this kidnap…", Femi said, but at that moment his phone rang. He frowned, looking at the screen. It was Jane, the girl he met a week ago at the club in Sabon Gari.

"Abeg lemme answer this babe", he said to Abdul crossly.

"Hello… Babe what's up?", he said into the mouthpiece.

"I'm fine", she answered. "I haven't heard from you since morning. What's happening? Where are you?"

Femi shook his head in exasperation. Women! he thought. Just a few f***s and she had started to behave like she owned him.

"I've been busy, that's why. And now I'm with my guy, watching a football game", he told her.

"Oh… Okay then. But when am I seeing you? I missed you. In fact I still miss you. Please when are you finishing?"

"Don't worry baby. As soon as we are done, I'll drive down", he said.

"No baby!", she countered. "I wanna come over and spend the night. I've already told my Mum that I'm going back to the hostel this evening".

"Alright baby… I can't wait to see you too", Femi said.

"Hmmmm… Baby. Whenever I think about how you touch me, I go wild", she whispered.

Femi laughed. "Baby let me finish, then we will be together".

"I love you", she said.

"Okay. Later…", he replied

"Later? You won't even say you love me too? Who is there with you? Femi you're with another girl ba?" She fired at him.

"Oh my goodness!" He said. "Okay then, I love you too!".

"That's better!" She said. "Bye", and then she disconnected the call.

Abdul was smiling, shaking his head from side to side.

"What the f**k is so funny?", Femi asked, also smiling.

"Nothing… it's just the way the girl has got you jumping through hoops", he said.

Femi hissed. "Abeg forget about the babe. She just wants a good f**k, that's her problem", he said.

"And it's your job to give it to her", Abdul said.

Femi bursted out laughing.

"Shege! As if you know! It's my job to take care of all the lonely girls in Kano!"

Both of them laughed and laughed and laughed.

"Guy, jokes apart. What were you trying to tell me about the job?", Femi asked.

"Okay. What I have in mind is…", Abdul started outlining the plan