The Art of Dying

Pt. 3

  We both gather our things leaving nothing important behind at least that's what we hope. I never liked the woods, because There are too many dangerous things in them.  Nathan on the other hand loves the outdoors he would probably live in the woods had it not been for my hatred toward them. We walk in silence for around five miles. I end up face down in the dirt; I must have tripped on a stick or something. 

       “Ouch..,” was all I could gather to say. 

     Nathan bursts out laughing so loudly I think he may be crying. He helps me up and clears his throat “Are you okay?"

        “I think so,” I say brushing the dirt off myself.

         “We should take a break so you can recover from your…trip,” he snickered and looked at me. 

         “Can I ask you something?”

           “Of course you can Maya. What is it?”

             “What did you mean when you said ‘I need to tell her’? Were you talking about me?” 

                “It...I…. Yes, it was about you, and it's not something that is important right now.” Nathan seemed to be turning red. As if he was actually hiding something.

“Oh. Are you sure? You're turning a bit red there.”

“Fine. You have to promise to not freak out.”

 I nod “I promise. Now tell me!” 

    He looks down and rubs his face. He looks as if  he is annoyed by my persistence. “We have been friends for a long time. Over time I've begun liking you more and more. I was saying I was going to tell you that I love you.” I thought he was joking with me so I laughed. I knew he wasn't lying when he kissed me, but I didn't pull away from him. When he pulled back we looked at eachother stunned with what we had just done. He cleared his throat and turned away from me. In what I thought was disgust; though I knew it was not I sat down. 

        “I'm sorry,” Nathan says after around twenty minutes of silence. “I shouldn't have done that.” He has no idea what my thoughts are of what he said. I have liked him forever, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship if he didn't like me. What would have happened had he not said anything?

        “Don’t automatically assume that I wasn’t okay with it.”

        “What do you mean by that?”

    I rubbed my eyes “You know what I mean Nathan," I know he says stupid things like that to make me laugh ,but it's not exactly a good time to laugh and joke. Nathan rambled on about something for the entire walk to the city. I am not sure what it was about, because I wasn't exactly paying attention to him. The city seemed to be empty, but I knew someone had to be around. I looked at Nathan ,and found his eyes meeting mine. He turned away after a few seconds; he has been acting strangely, but it's understandable. After searching half the city we decided it was useless ,and we began looking for a place to stay for a few hours. 

          I found a bookstore that seemed to still have a great stock of books left. I looked around for books I liked, and sadly only found five. During the time I was looking for books  Nathan had found a small apartment down the block to spend the night in. We sat on the couch and read for hours. Nathan put his hand on the page I was reading to get my attention.

          "You know you don't have to block the book to get my attention right?"

         "Maya you know damn well you would have ignored me and kept reading had I not."

          "Fair point. What is it though?"

          "You haven't eaten…"

           "Really Nathan?  You stopped me from reading to tell me something I already knew?"

    Nathan just kinda stared at me for a minute and stood up. Next thing I know he puts a sandwich on the book. 

          "Eat," Nathan said demandingly 

           "You're not my boss Nathan." 

          "I will burn the damn book if you don't eat"

    After that statement I don't really think I had a choice to eat or not. I find that books help distract me from what's happening in the real world, and right now I could use an escape. I knew he would’ve actually gone through with it had I not.

    While reading I must have spaced out, because I started thinking about my destroyed future. I planned to apply for a science degree, but I think that was kind of out of the picture for now. The future I wanted was gone ,but I could create a new one if I wanted. Seemed a little time consuming to plan something when I have no idea what's going on around me. What  happens if very few people survive whatever is happening? I am not prepared for how our world has shifted. For now, I am going to pretend it is a temporary change of scenery and lifestyle.

          Nathan was staring out the window for a few hours before he fell asleep in the windowsill. I wonder how much his future changed from what he had envisioned. He may have not even thought about it yet, or it hasn’t quite hit him that everything has changed for better or for worse. Yet, he somehow just acts like he knew it was gonna happen. Always so calm about it all even though we have no clue if anyone is still alive. I think I have pondered on it all long enough. I went to sleep after packing my bag for tomorrow’s journey. 

    We woke up and grabbed our things after looking for clean clothes ,and eating some semi- stale cereal. “ Hey Nathan? Can I ask you about something?”

    “When can you not ask me something Maya?” he said, shoving another handful of cereal into his mouth.

    “Before all this happened, what had you planned for your future?” I asked hesitantly. 

    “Oh, I’m not really sure. I was gonna wait for you to decide on where you were gonna go and then make plans for myself.”

    “Oh.”

    “There were two reasons for it. First reason is that your dad asked me to keep an eye on you for him. Well obviously since he was going into the army alongside my father. Reason two is that I didn’t want to be away from you in general.”

    I got a little flustered from the second part ,and so I cleared my throat.“ Didn’t have to wait around for me to choose.”

    He laughed at the sight of me being nervous around him for once. I was embarrassed even more now that he had laughed at me. “ True, I am glad I didn’t ,because we wouldn’t be here together had I left." 

    "I'm glad also. We should get going if we want to reach your house before dark," I said gingerly. I didn't want to put any stress on the subject ,but I wanted to talk more about it. I grabbed hold of his hand when we started walking again. 

    “Do you still know some german?” Nathan asked

    “I only remember Ich bin hässlich; along with Nein sie sind wunderschönen.”

    “What do they mean?”

    “Well Ich bin hässlich means ‘I’m ugly’ I learned it first ,because of obvious reasons. Nein, sie sind wunderschönen means “No, you are beautiful’ I am not sure why I learned that one.”

    He didn’t say anything in response to what I had said. He just continued walking at the same pace. I was hoping he would glance at me or say something to me. He continued to look ahead and walk for the remainder of the day. I thought maybe he just didn't feel like talking or he was just tired ,and it put him in a strange mood. 

    I began thinking about how life would’ve been if my mother was here. It was a random thought with nothing that would lead me to want to think about it ,and yet here I am. My father would probably be a lot happier, and more interested in the more important things in life. My father never had time to do the little things that most dad's did. Like random little outdoor projects, trips to the department store, riding in a wagon while being pulled by the lawnmower, and playing with little bugs that hid in the dirt. It wasn't difficult having a different childhood, but it wasn't exactly fun.

    “Are you okay Nathan?” I finally asked. “ You have been acting off since I said stuff in german.” I stopped walking and in the process he stopped walking also.

    “I honestly don't know Maya. I haven't had my meds in a few days so my emotions are everywhere." He said uneasily.

    “Wait a second. You haven’t had your meds in a while right?”

    He just nodded and started walking again. I walked behind him looking down at the ground, and while doing that it began pouring rain. Nathan grabbed my hand and guided me towards some cover, and we just stood there for a minute before we realized the rain was not going to stop anytime soon. I sat down on the ground waiting for the rain to stop.

    “I don’t mean to seem off..,” he said while sitting down next to me “it isn’t much of a choice thing.”

    “I know that’s why I wasn’t bothering you about it anymore.” 

    “Oh.”

    I snickered and leaned on him while laying my head on his shoulder. He laid his head against mine, and hummed a tune I used to know so well. Our lives will never be the same as they used to be before all of this, but just as long as we have each other we will be alright. Nathan fell asleep while we were waiting, but I couldn’t sleep not while waiting. The rain had stopped about twenty minutes after Nathan fell asleep, and so when it stopped I got up. It was quiet, undisturbed, and it smelled like what I remember pool water to smell like. The way it smells outside right after it rains is always my favorite. Most people hate rain, I along with them. I only like the smell and the way rain is always so cool during the summer.

    I walked around for a little while waiting for Nathan to wake up from his nap. While I was walking I focused on the songs the birds sang more than I focused on actually walking, and so I kept tripping. Although, someone caught me before I tripped again, and it wasn’t Nathan. I screamed and struggled to get away from this mystery person. Nathan woke up and ran over to me swiftly. 

    “Who are you? What do you want?” Nathan states defensively. He pushes me behind him and blocks the new stranger. 

    “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you, although I can see why you got so scared. My name is James Pensel. I went to school with you guys, but I don’t think you knew me. I really am sorry I scared you. I was only trying to keep you from getting hurt Maya.” James says looking around Nathan to meet my eyes.

    I walk around Nathan and look at James, “How do you know my name? Before you say something about hearing it in school I was the tour guide for new students.

       “Maya we should go, I don’t trust him and I don't wanna be here any longer than we have to be.” Nathan says, grabbing my hand. I don’t speak, I just nod and follow Nathan away from “James the Creep.” As much as I want to see civilization I really don’t want to be betrayed by one person who somehow knows my name. Nathan doesn’t let go of my hand until we arrive back in the city. By the time we were even half way back to the apartment it was already pitch black outside. I look down a long alley hoping to see light, but instead I see a dark figure just standing. I instantly freeze and wave trying to see if they are friendly.

       “Hello!?” I yell down the alleyway.

    The dark figure begins running towards me at full speed. I scream once I see its face, and its skinny ,boney ,dead body. I grab Nathan and start running as fast as I can towards the apartment and slam the door closed. 

    “ Lock the door!” I scream at Nathan while I grab a chair and block the door.

    He locks the door and looks at me while saying, “What happened Maya? What did you see?” 

    “I have no clue. I thought it was a person so waved at them and tried to talk to them, but it wasn’t a person. It was dead! It was all bone and was covered in blood. And, Its face was like peeling glue. It was all torn open with gaping holes everywhere.” I say pacing around.

    Nathan doesn't say anything he just sits down and stares at the ground stunned. Once I calm down I sit next to him resting my head on his shoulder. Neither of us sleep or rest for long, because we are both on high alert while boarding everything up securely. I stare out the window for a while, and I see a few more of those dark figures gathering outside the apartment. I begin to panic and cry while Nathan finishes boarding the last window. He walks over to me carefully hugging me till I am calm enough to speak.