The Cursed Academy

Puns are good. Yo' mama jokes...not so much.

"I didn't think you were really going to eat that entire stack of pancakes!  What happened to getting in shape for the skating competition next month?" I teased Mo.  We had just stuffed ourselves with pancakes and bacon over at the dining hall and now neither of us felt like moving.  I was sitting on the bench outside of our dorm and Mo was lazily riding in circles on her skateboard.  I saw her wave at Mrs. Hellewell across the courtyard. She was heading toward the large bird enclosures and appeared to be dressed for the morning bird feedings.

'Gag.' I thought, remembering the gory scene from the day before.

"You don't worry about me and that competition." Mo said with a smile. "Because, when it comes to me and skateboarding. I am Mo-bettah than everyone else! Ayyyeeeee!!" she punned, fake slapping her knee and causing us both to end up cackling with laughter.

"Ohhhhh foul!!" 

"That was baaaaad!!!" 

"Ha!  Too punny!!" 

We turned toward the laughing voices and there was Andrea and the twins.  The identically dressed twins.  Identically.

'OK. Today, I figure out who is who.  No excuses!'

 I resolved as I looked the two girls over carefully for any identifying mark, no matter how small, to tell them apart and I couldn't find a single thing!

"You aren't looking hard enough." One of the twins said with a snicker.

"I guess you figured out that I can't tell who is who between you and your sister?" I embarrassedly laughed.

"No one can." giggled the other twin.

Mo rode by slowly while making her latest circle and said "I can.  I can tell them apart."

"No way!"

"That's impossible."

"Even our Da' has trouble figuring out who is who." 

"I stiii-iiiill knooooo-ooow." Mo said in a sing-song voice back over her shoulder as she continued in her circles.

"OK.  Prove it."  I said to Mo as she circled back toward us.

"That is Siobhan and that is Saoirse." Mo said, pointing to each of the twins as she said their name.

"Lucky guess!" said Siobhan.

"You had a fifty-fifty shot of being right." Andrea said.

"It is the simple power of observation and besides... I like a good puzzle and you two fit together like puzzle pieces. " Mo said nonchalantly. She jumped off of her skateboard and stepped up onto the bench, standing next to where I was seated..  "It is elementary my dear Sophia,'' she said in a very loud and bad fake Londoner-type accent. "These two ladies have spent their lives with each other.  Doing everything together.  Eating together.  Sleeping together.  Dressing together. Holding hands through the majority of  their short, but identical lives. "

She jumped down off of the bench, walked a few steps and stood directly between the two twins. Continuing her extravagant, Holmesian interpretation she loudly exclaimed " The only thing that nature dictated that they do, that they did not follow was …  What was that you may ask?  What decision did they take into their own....hands. They did not let nature decide which hand was their dominant hand!" 

 Mo grabbed Saoirse's right hand and Siobhan's left hand and placed them palms together.  Sandwiching them between her own hands and continuing. " From using just the right or the left hand so much that  they essentially, effectively and evolutionary and REVOLUTIONARILY "she said with a flourish  "Became the same person with two different dominant hands.  Two different sides of the brain. One on each side of their 'combined' body  Siobhan always walks on the right and is right handed.  Saoirse always walks on the left and is left handed and THAT, my dear Sophia, is how you tell the de Meath twins apart... by their dominant hand." She ended her explanation with a deep bow and pretended to tip her hat on the way down.  

I was completely stunned as were Andrea and the twins.  

"Mo!! That was AMAZING!! I had no clue you were such a good detective. I am genuinely impressed!" I gushed.

"No one has ever been able to tell us apart.  Ever." Siobhan said. "BRAVO!!!!"

Andrea and Saoirse but stood there with their mouth's open.  I had to resist the  strange urge to close them like Grandmother had done to me just days ago. 

 'Maybe I am spending a little TOO much time with Grandmother.'

"No one could decipher the puzzle... Until now?" Mo gloated. "I mean, what about your Mom, surely she could tell you two apart from one another even if your Dad couldn't"

I saw the twins' demeanor briefly flash to one of grief  and sorrow and their grip on one another's hand tightened.  Saoirse was the first to speak and said with a polite but obviously forced smile "Our mother died when she was delivering us. We never got to meet her."

"She never made it out of the delivery room." added Siobhan.  "Our father raised us by himself."

"We have a good Da'  so we aren't sad. " Saoirse said,  finishing her sister's sentence. Her Irish accent getting a little thicker as she reminisced about home and her family... or lack thereof. "You see, the women in our family are cursed.  They have been for twenty-six generations."

"Oh! I am so sorry!  I had NO idea! Please. Oh, dang! I had no clue you mom was gone!" Mo was stumbling over her words trying to hastily apologize.  

"No harm.  No foul." said Saoirse and put her hand on Mo's shoulder.  "You would have had no way of knowing. We do ok, though.  Don't worry about us.  The only thing we have trouble with is the girly stuff.  Our Da' just didn't get into that at all."

'THAT is why they look unpolished.  They are diamonds in the rough!'   

Andrea and I locked eyes, both of us grinning like the Cheshire Cat planning an amazing adventure for Alice and her friends.  "Are you thinking what I am thinking?" I asked her.

"Oh most definitely!" she enthusiastically replied.

Do we have everything we need?" I asked.

"If we don't ... we will ... improvise."  Andrea said with a wink. 

Mo and the twins were watching our conversation as if it were a tennis match.  Their heads turning from one of us to the other and they looked at the two of us with total confusion written all over their faces. I could not help but laugh.

"What in the world are you two talking about?" Mo finally asked, sounding slightly irritated at the thought of not being able to decipher this mystery.

"Tonight.  After the bonfire.  We are going to have a.... slumber party!" I said.

"WHAT?? WHERE?" Mo demanded. The twins hugged each other tight as if they were going to be swept away on a wave of joy. "It would be smart to have it here, in the old dorm where you live.  There aren't any cameras on this side of campus." Siobhan interjected hopefully. Her sister had a matching expression of gleeful anticipation on her face.

Mo looked down at her calloused hands and her nails with their peeling, black polish.  "Do you think maybe someone can help me fix my nails? I usually have my friend do them at home because … I don't know how."

Andrea grabbed Mo's hand and said "I've got this HANDled" which led to another chorus of groans, protests and laughter.

 "We need to get this campus tour on the road if we want to have time to shower before the bonfire tonight.  Come on, Sophia.  Get UP.  You haven't moved since breakfast." Mo said while kicking at my shoe.

Siobhan and Saoirse  stood side by side in front of me.  Siobhan offering me her right hand and Saoirse offering me her left. I grabbed the twin's hands and gave them each a comforting squeeze as I stood up.

 "This is going to be SO MUCH FUN!" I squealed as Andrea, the twins and I walked quickly toward the large bird enclosure where Agatha and Clarice lived; trying to catch up with Mo who was already there yelling something to Mrs. Hellewell about saving the big pieces for her.

"By the way... What in the heck do you do to someone to earn a twenty-six generation curse?" I asked the twins.  

"We can tell you the story tonight.  It is really scary." said Siobhan.

'Every slumber party needs a good scary story.'

Or so I thought...