he's gone.
When I saw you for the first time, I realized
that not all the stars are in the sky.
might you have fallen in the wrong place,
and if you had relied on that, why would you
have chosen my heart exactly.
You make me feel sad every time I
remember you.
I loved you, so why didn’t you love me?
You could have loved life for me or just
pretended. Is that too much?
But I want to see you...until it goes out,
then I will not see light in anyone else,
so I choose you. I will choose your darkness
as my light.
Let me tell you something.. You were
always my peace of mind when my mind
searched for peace. Where is the peace
now and where are you? I am in the middle
looking for someone to take me very far.
Now you have thrown your sadness on my
shoulders and left me.
I have lost my way.
How can I reach the end now?
Have I moved too far from the beginning?
It does not matter. I just want you back.
It has withered, completely withered,
like the last stiff yellow leaf falling from a
broken branch, at the end of a dull autumn.
Whose fault did I become like this?
What does crying mean?
Tears or screams?
My tears have dried in my eyelids,
my heart has stopped beating,
my blood has stopped flowing,
my mind has stopped thinking,
and time has not moved since my soul was
stolen with them at that time,
but I still feel my insides bleeding.
The veins of my heart were broken and
bleeding.
I feel a tingling sensation in it when
I remember only his features.
flash back
.
.
.
.
Under the rain drops, I instinctively used to
walk with my umbrella.
It is something I love to do,
especially late at night.
I love that sound that comes out when those
drops fall around me.
I always thought that I was the only one
who enjoyed it, contemplating it and getting
lost in it, and every time I went out under
this rain, it became more routine.
No. Nothing ever changes, rainy nights
haunt the same streets, until the old
homeless man rubs shoulders with himself
But on this night, while I was taking my
usual walk in the rain, my eyes fell on a
person who was sitting on the fence,
his head bowed low, his hair and wet
clothes. He was not carrying an umbrella
or even a coat to protect him from the cold
weather. Rather, all he was wearing was a
faded shirt and black pants, without me
realizing it. I started to approach him.
Something inside me prompted me to talk
to him. Perhaps the reason was that I was
accustomed to a certain routine in the rain
And now someone came to ruin this routine
and revive my stagnant life.
I stood close to him, and he did not seem to
notice my presence, so I slowly extended
my umbrella over him to protect him from
the rain and alert him to my standing next
to him.
It was not long before the young man
noticed that the rain had obscured him,
so he raised his head to look at the person
next to him. Moments ago, their gazes met,
and the woman standing there felt how
surprised the other was to see her.
His face was completely wet, so she
couldn't tell if it was rainwater or his tears
What are you doing in the rain?
The woman standing asked, but the other
opened his mouth to answer hesitantly
I just like to sit here
You will catch a cold if you stay here. Go home
As soon as she finished her sentence,
the young man’s features shriveled as if he
had heard something that he did not like.
She sighed when she saw his features,
so she repeated the question.
What is your name?
It's none of your business
Direct answer: He straightened up and
wanted to leave
Hey...let me introduce myself to you...
The other hummed,
as if he didn't care, to turn away and give
her his back, but she wasn't going to leave
him alone, not after she saw the extent of
sadness in his eyes and the grief
accompanying the tone of his voice.
With two quick steps, she tried to catch up
with him until she stood next to him and
placed the umbrella over their heads.
Do you want me to accompany you home?
He looked at her, surprised by the interest of
this strange person who knew nothing
about her, not even her name
What do you want?
I want to know what's wrong with you, is there a problem?
No, but you are a stranger and I don't know you
So I am Carla, twenty-four years old, and I live alone in one of these streets. What do you want to know more about?
Why are you telling me this, aren't you afraid that I will steal from you or that I will be a criminal?
You don't seem like a criminal to me, you are a good person, but why are you sad?
The other passed his tongue over his lips
and began wiping the water drops from his
face, ignoring her question
They were walking in the rain,
sharing an umbrella
Two people who did not know each other
met on this rainy night, and one of them
decided to get closer to the other,
whatever the cost, for a reason he himself
did not know.
I felt a desire to offer a helping hand.
Where do you live?
It's none of your business
Come on, don't be mean, I'm not a criminal for behaving like this to me
But you seem like this, especially with your suspicious insistence
They laughed sweetly until they reached the
intersection
I'll go now, bye
Hey where can I find you?
What?
I want to be friends so tell me where I can find you?
He did not answer anything and turned to
walk on his way in the rain,
getting his face wet again
She stood there staring at him
she don't know why she got here in
the first place.
.
.
.
He arrived at a house that looked luxurious
and beautiful, with a stone wall connected
to an open black iron gate. He entered the
courtyard, then he took out his key as he
approached the house.
He exhaled and started to turn the lock key
to enter and disappear behind that door
On the other side, Carla had arrived at her
small, cold, tidy house. She stood in front of
the door, looking right and left. Her
response made her feel somewhat weak.
where is he?
He then wondered to himself about that old
man who was late to sit down that fence.
He always sat there with his big black coat.
It was sunny, rainy, or even snowy day and
night, as if the feeling of cold and time was
constant. It was strange.But now...it has no
effect
She thought that it was a human being and
not a tree, of course he would move from
his place. She sighed and entered her
house to close the umbrella and change her
clothes.
She lay on her bed and thought. She had
never felt so curious towards someone as
she did if she wanted to know the reason
for his sadness.
in the morning
our hero came out of his cold, lonely house
to meet the sun's rays and reflect their light
on his frowning face, which had recently
left happiness
He no longer smiled or laughed. He no
longer saw life as before.
He became desperate and walked as if he
had lost his soul
He put his hands in his pants pocket and
walked nowhere
After a few minutes of walking, he finally
stopped in front of a food store. He entered
and headed towards the refrigerator to take
a bottle of water and go pay for it.
"Hey, how can I help...!?"
His eyes saw that person in front of him
" You?"
he asked carla standing in her work uniform
, making her laugh happily as she spoke
What a beautiful charity this is...we meet again.”
carla was working part-time at that store
and by chance he met the same person he
was sure he would never meet her again
him: are you tracking me or what?
carla: Tracking you? How could I have predicted that you would be here at this time, since I always work here?
he sighed and put the bottle in front of her
and took the money out of his pocket,
then went out immediately after paying for it
"Slown down"
carla shouted after she took off her work clothes
him: What do you want now?
carla: We are friends now so why are you ignoring me?
him: Yaa.. since when did we become friends?
carla didn't care about his tone and started
walking beside him and following him like a
child
where do you want to go?
won't get in trouble for leaving your job like that
already took permission to go
Then go back, I'm just wasting time
then goes to the farm together
Why are you so interested? You don't know me
yes, I know you.. You are patric
gives birth again and he surrenders to this
childish attachment to him
since you don't know where to go, let me take you to a beautiful place
I don't want to
I'm not asking you
grabbed the other's hand to drag him
behind him, not caring about
objection or resistance
Soon one man surrendered to her
Next to her without resistance, it seems
that he a very stubborn person
"We have arrived"
carla shouted, and the other furrowed his
eyebrows, looking at that place
What are we doing here?
let's play
He blinked several times before he realized
that carla was really inviting him to play in
the amusement park
Are you a kid or what?
carla laughed excitedly as she dragged
followed her to walk between the toys
she is looking for a beautiful toy to share
With a grouchy girlfriend
Come on, look at this...she looks so excited.”
“No way.. I won’t ride in this thing.”
patric denied sharply while carla stood pointing at the fast train of terror
“carla,please ride together, please.”
“You ride alone, I don’t care.”
carla will run away if she kneels and leaves you
am I your prisoner?
They were caught by the sound of the train
stopping, so carla quickly pulled it to fit her
in line before the number of people
standing in it increased
, you are truly an unbearable person
you were the one who said you had nothing to do and I was looking for you
Someone to come here with
They stood waiting in the long line for ten
minutes before it was finally their turn.
They boarded the train next to each other
and in the front car. patric was
uninterested, but carla was filled with
excitement mixed with fear.
The train was full and passengers were
ordered to keep their hands inside the
carriage
He started moving slowly and rising little by little until he reached the sky
carla let out a loud scream after the train
suddenly and quickly descended
Huge patric also dropped his frown and
started screaming while doing so, she
didn't notice that carla was holding his
hand.
And his fear tightens on her
The laughter and screams of two
companions accompanied this tour,
as the tunnel that the train enters is full of
scary things in addition to its insane speed
Time finally passed and the ride ended and
the two got out of the car and carla was still
suffering from that bout of laughter
, stop, you're embarrassing me.
this was fun, I would love to try it again.
As for me, I will leave. It was very boring.
A worker approached them to give them a
photo taken of them while they were riding
the cart, which is a souvenir photo taken for
everyone
carla quickly started laughing again
He looked at her
patric :were you the one who told them to pick it up?
carla: Why would I do something like this?
patric:This is embarrassing. Get rid of it
First get the picture
she sent the other away while hiding it behind her back
carla: Yes, I said it was boring
but why you laugh like a clown
patric opened his eyes and turned away, and
carla quickly followed him
carla:, you look great when you laugh, so why don't you always do that?
Who said I want to be great?
carla put the photo inside his wallet
she put it back in her pocket as she walked
alongside patric. heading towards the exit
After several hours
“how expects me to walk carrying all this.”
patric grumbled as he walked carrying bags full of food
You carry it with your hands, not your feet, so stop complaining
carla with her persistent and persuasive
manner, forced patric to go with her to the
neighboring neighborhood to walk around,
and whenever she saw something she
liked, he would buy it.
"Dammit, did you become a cow to buy all this? How are you going to eat it all?"
patric shouted wearily when he saw carla
standing in front of another store and
turned to him with her usual smile to invite
him in.
They stood in front of the old seller to talk to him
carla happily
“Hello, Mr. Jung, how are you? Are you?”
I can leave these bags with you
So I can come back later and get it?”
patric exhaled in relief when he heard these
words, as his arms became very painful
They left the store after leaving all their
purchases inside so patric could ask where
they were going next
carla smiled at that because patric finally
gave in and got used to it quickly
" It's a surprise"
“That's what you kept saying all day.”
“This time it will be a nice surprise.”
They took a taxi and carla told the drive
r where they were going
“To Soul Tower, please
7:00 pm
Finally, they reached the place leading to the
Sol Tower
"Is this the place?"
patric asked as he looked around but carla
denied and pointed to a faraway place
upstairs
"there "
“This time it will be a nice surprise.”
They took a taxi and Jimin told the driver where they were going
“To Soul Tower, please
7:00 pm
Finally, they reached the place leading to the Sol Tower
"Is this the place?"
patric asked as he looked around but carla denied and pointed to a faraway place upstairs
"there "
sHe was pointing to a manager's tower built
atop a high plateau
you told me that you have never visited this tower
yeah, he doesn't look special
carla smiled at him towards the long stairs
leading to the tower
After minutes of walking, they finally prayed,
panting tiredly
"The view is beautiful from the top. Believe me, you will love it."
My God, carla said, then he went forward to
enter first, followed bypatric . They climbed
the tower to reach the top, and as carla
said, the view greatly impressed patric.
The tower overlooked all the old and
modern neighborhoods of Seoul and its
landscape
He was very elegant and beautiful
“See...it's great.”
patric hummed as he contemplated that
scene with a faint smile. They spent an
entire hour in the place and took several
pictures together with Jimin’s phone before
they left.
In front of the former store, the taxi stopped
so they could take the bags they had left
there previously
"Do we have to walk for a long time? I'm tired and my feet hurt."
patric asked boredly and the other quickly stopped to say
"We have arrived"
patric looked at that little house
Color of bungalow and small box
Solution
With that, they went into the kitchen to lay
down
The bags were on the table and patric
turned
To leave
Where do you think you're going?
carla asked sharply, as if he had just done
something forbidden
“I'm going home, it's getting late.”
“You wouldn't go anywhere without eating dinner first
patric smiled at carla's sweet tone
Childishly, he shrugged his shoulders and
returned to the kitchen
He helps her prepare dinner
10:00 at night
They traded food and did not
Resistant to energy rust
"Okay, I've had dinner. I'll go now."
patric said then adjusted his jacket and
headed towards the door
carla :wait, I'll go with you
patric: No need, it's too late
He didn't like it, and carla noticed that. The
house showed how rich patric was, but all
its lights were off.
“Does your family go to bed this early?”
carla asked him and the other smiled to answer
"I live here alone."
carla felt guilty when she saw the look of
sadness returning to patric's face, so she
quickly apologized
"Sorry, I didn't know.."
"Never mind.. and now you'll be fine."
patric went forward to open the gate to the
conversation, and carla waved at him kindly
" I'll see you later"
patric raised his hand to say goodbye to his
new friend and then entered the house
while carla turned to leave
patric was feeling very tired, he hadn't put
in this much effort in a long time
On the other hand, carla was arranging the
rest of the food in his kitchen, and she did
not appear tired. sHe was used to
exercising and walking for long periods of
time. sHe felt happy because she had a
new friend now.
But she remembered how sad patric was
when she mentioned living alone in that big house
carla also lives alone after she moved from
Busan because she wanted to live an
independent life despite herparents’
opposition and adherence to him.
Two months later
After they met, they became close friends...
They have each other’s numbers and go out
together every day to spend a good time
and take pictures together.
Soon, patric was staying with carla
, sharing a room with a traditional mattress
on the floor
They prepare food together and clean
together. They share all their moments
together. Their lives have become common
now. patric even started working with carla
in the same store.
Each of them fills the other's arms and
makes him feel a sense of belonging, and if
one of them is sad, the other will be there
To swear on his unity...
patric's condition changed a lot and he
became cheerful, or rather, he returned to
normal. He had always been a smiling,
positive person who loved life and loved
making new friends every day. He was full
of energy like a free bird.
But fate has suspended its black sword to
imprison patric inside him.. The reason for
his sadness is still unknown
And carla even now thinks he's sad
It was just because he felt lonely, so she
made sure not to leave her boyfriend alone
Ignoring that feeling that kept telling er
that something else was wrong
During these two months
A lot of things have changed in patric's mind
While carla headed towards the bathroom,
she came out a few minutes later wearing a
bathrobe. she was dried her hair with a
towel, then went to her room, which she
shared with patric, and found him packing
his bag
" what are you doing?"
The eldest asked while examining him with
a surprised expression. sHe did not expect
that patric would want to leave
, do you want to leave?
Ah actually.. yes
Why?
I'm really sorry baby .. but I have to go today
Okay, let me change my clothes and go with
you
No, you are not going anywhere.. I will go alone
He took me in a long embrace.
I did not think it would be the last embrace
between us. Suddenly, he wanted to leave.
What about me? I thought he wanted to live
once, but everything I did for him was gone
in the blink of an eye.
What pain you caused me, what torment you put me through and left
She spoke in pain and with loud gasps.
She opened that envelope to read what was
inside. It was a long letter divided into
several pages, written in beautiful
handwriting, and a signature
was printed on the last page.
All my love is gone.
And now I sit alone looking for you in
my imagination.
I wish I had not gone to you on the first day
and asked about you.
If I had kept a little curiosity, I would have
felt all this emptiness.
You came to scatter me and go.
you wrote goodbye on a piece of paper.
Do you think this is enough?.
I don't know if my memory has stored that
time. That time when I called you my flower
despite your distance.
It was your smile, despite your sadness,
that made me strong.
But I was the only loser and the only
survivor. Likewise, whenever you dragged
me down the armor of darkness,
I saw you smiling as if you were hiding me
in your heart. All this time, I was hiding
there without realizing it. All this time,
I was living on your voice now,
and your hands were tightening my
embrace with chains.
I realized this. I realized my passion
that I found while waiting for you.
I realized that I was in you, and I did not
waver even once over the years.
It was a spring whose smell I forgot when
the dust settled from the face of my
memory.
I always spent my wasted years searching
for my missing part, in my mother’s short
answers... and my old things. I was always
looking for a continuation of the story that
lost my brother in its incomplete line, and
Jungkook fell from it before the conclusion
point.
I forgot everything, but I did not forget my
weakness... I did not forget how I consigned
everything to oblivion, and threw my
memory into exile and was never able to
recover it...
When fate changed the course of this story,
I found something...that illuminates my
memory....
Stop waiting, stop wishing, stop hanging
your heart like a medal you put on a key,
waiting for someone to carry you.
In his hands, you are vulnerable to
everything the winds face, tossing you from
all sides. You are vulnerable to loneliness,
when all things come and what you waited
for did not come...
Stop waiting, because no one deserves to
wait for you.
Our last meeting touched on the details of
our first meeting, which happened in
December, the winter season.
I built a snowman in the square opposite the
building, and the next day I found your scarf
on it.
With its interwoven threads,
our story of you, me, and the snowman was
born.
Like the first hello I said to you, instead of all
my letters, I told you that goodbye for now
until the day comes when I separate from
you, create a new chapter, and put on
another life.