The Nememiah Chronicles Collection

Chapter 22

I wasn"t sure how long I"d slept, but when I woke, it was dark outside and moonlight shone through the open window. I raised my head and smiled at Lucas, finding him lying with one hand behind his head, looking relaxed and comfortable.

“I would say good morning, but it"s almost midnight,” he commented mildly.

I rolled onto my back, stretching lazily. “It"s a beautiful night.”

Lucas glanced towards the window. “A full moon.” He turned onto his side and captured me in his arms, his face inches away from mine. “And not nearly as beautiful as you.” He captured my lips against his and kissed me with more insistence than he normally allowed himself. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him against me. My heartbeat sped up; blood pumping more quickly through my veins and all too soon, Lucas was gently extricating himself from me. I was breathing raggedly and Lucas dropped his head to my chest, listening to the pounding of my heart. “That is such a wonderful sound,” he whispered softly. “And you are so wonderfully warm.” He straightened up with a sigh. “I wish I could keep kissing you, without it becoming dangerous.”

“I wish you could too,” I admitted shyly.

“Perhaps with time,” Lucas mused. “It is getting easier.”

I pressed a fleeting kiss against his lips. “In the meantime, we need to keep trying. So it keeps getting easier.”

He grinned, and delight filled his blue eyes. “I think it"s time to feed the human. Rowena is preparing something for you; she looked in about fifteen minutes ago to see if you were close to waking.”

I rolled over and pulled the quilt from my legs, dragging myself out of bed. “Sounds great. I"m starved.”

“Now why doesn"t that surprise me?” Lucas questioned wryly. He appeared at my side, holding my dressing gown and I found myself captivated again by his bare chest. I took the dressing gown and reluctantly dragged my eyes away from his physique. Lucas crouched down beside me. “I think I will go take a shower and get some fresh clothes. The way you look at me without my shirt on, is positively indecent.”

I blushed furiously and Lucas laughed aloud, leaning forward to kiss me. “I love you. I"ll see you downstairs.”

He slipped through the door and I stood up, pulling on the dressing gown and limping slowly down the hall towards the bathroom. Freshening up a little, I brushed my teeth thoroughly and then dragged the brush through my hair with a frustrated scowl. It looked a mess and I pulled it into a ponytail in desperation.

Padding silently down the hall, my one bare foot and the plaster cast made little impact on the plush carpet. Reaching the head of the stairs, I heard raised voices and paused, uncertain if I should go downstairs, or allow the conversation I heard to continue in privacy. I heard my name mentioned and gripped the banister tightly, unwilling to go downstairs after I heard Gwynn"s voice, her anger apparent.

“Why can"t we vote on whether she gets to keep living here? Doesn"t my opinion mean anything?”

“Be reasonable, Gwynn. I think it"s clear how we would vote, if we took that step.” Ben responded to her fury, his voice soothing. “Rowena and I both want to offer Charlotte the opportunity to remain with us if she desires. She has no-one else.”

“So? How is that my problem? She"s human; she doesn"t belong in a Kiss! What happens if one of us loses control and she"s killed? How will Lucas explain that to her friends in Puckhaber?”

that“You know we are taking all precautions, just as we do to allow Katie to visit with us. There are inherent risks, but we can deal with them,” Acenith said.

“Katie is a different situation! She"s related to William! Charlotte is nothing to us, nothing at all!” Gwynn"s fury was startling, her animosity towards me palpable. “Ben, you and Rowena can"t just adopt her, like some little Orphan Annie you found on a street corner!”

related“Aww, Gwynn, don"t be like that,” Striker pleaded in his rumbling voice. “Charlotte"s a good kid; we"ve all gotten to like her. Why can"t she stay here with us?”

“It"s dangerous, that"s why!” Gwynn spat furiously. “She only has to slip up and tell someone, and our existence is threatened! We"ll have to run again.”

“We"re leaving here after the wedding, in any case. You know that"s the plan, so don"t use that as your argument,” Acenith announced caustically. “You are being melodramatic, Gwynn.”

“I am not being melodramatic, Acenith! She poses a very real danger to every one of us. To what end this insanity continues, I don"t know! You know as well as I do, what Lucas is attempting with her is completely impossible. He can"t possibly think this relationship can continue, when he can"t even f**k her without killing her!”

not“Gwynn, that"s a terrible thing to say,” Marianne protested.

“Oh shut up, Marianne. You know it"s true. And why is everyone standing up for poor little Charlotte? Why is what she wants, more important than what I want?”

“Sometimes what you want isn"t the most important thing in the world, Gwynn,” Ripley said, his tone mocking. “I wish you would remember that.”

“Ripley, you were the one who didn"t trust her in the first place! Are you honestly suggesting you want her to stay here? When she could betray us at any moment?”

There was a moment of silence, the air charged with tension. “I admit, I do have my doubts about her, I worry that if things between her and Lucas don"t work out, she could betray us.”

“You see? She shouldn"t stay here!”

shouldn"t“Gwynn, that"s enough!” Rowena"s soft voice held a tone of determination I"d never heard before. “You"ve made your point. But we have gotten to know Charlotte and she"s made Lucas happier than I have ever seen him. We have to consider his feelings.”

“Why? He knows this is a fool"s errand!”

Ben"s voice was terse when he responded. “Lucas is like a brother to me, Gwynn, and I respect and love him. He gave us somewhere to live, every one of us, when we broke away from other groups because of our desire to live a better life. He has provided protection for us from those same groups, who treated us with derision for choosing this lifestyle. He has provided safe harbor to you and to all of us. You would do well to remember the kindness and loyalty he has offered to both you and William in the past.”

“I love Charlotte,” Marianne added quietly. “I want her to stay.”

“Of course you do, Marianne. You can"t live with the idea of not making another friend,” Gwynn retorted mockingly. “The facts of the matter remain – we wouldn"t have been placed in a dangerous situation last night, if it hadn"t been for her. Ambrose"s Kiss would not have come, if she hadn"t been here. There would have been no need for them to seek revenge, if Lucas hadn"t killed Ambrose.”

friend“Ambrose deserved to die. His kind is despicable,” William announced, his voice husky. “I have killed many humans, but I"ve never treated any one of them with the lack of respect he showed to Charlotte.”

I trembled, remember the attack Ambrose had perpetrated against me, how close he"d come to r**e.

“But you still killed them, didn"t you?” Gwynn argued. “Out of all of us, William, I would think you"d understand where I"m coming from! Your control hovers on a hair trigger. Who"s to say you won"t lose that control, with a human living here all the time?”

“Gwynn,” Striker"s voice carried a note of warning in that one word, but Gwynn sailed on regardless.

I don"t understand why you all seem to adore her! She"s nothing but a human, food on the hoof. Yet you all seem to have fallen over yourselves to become her friends, to worship her as if she"s something special! She isn"t, she"s just a human girl who shouldn"t be living here with us! What happens if the Council learns about her? Has anyone considered that?”

“Gwynn, that is absolutely enough,” Ben growled. “You"ve argued your point adequately. The chances of the Council finding out about Charlotte are minimal, we have little or no contact with them, and they have no reason to investigate what our small Kiss does here in Montana. I consider Lucas family, he has made this choice and I accept it without any reservations – and so should you. He is family and he loves Charlotte. As far as Rowena and I are concerned, Charlotte is family now. We look after what belongs to us and you know that.”

There was an extended silence before Gwynn spoke again, her voice was flat and all the fight had been removed from her words. “Fine. If you want her to live here, I guess I have to accept it, but it doesn"t mean I have to like it. William and I will be leaving after the wedding. We will find another Kiss to join.”

“Hang on, Gwynn,” William sounded annoyed, the first time I"d heard him sound anything but calm.

“No, William. I don"t want this and I won"t stay here with her. You either come with me… or I will leave alone.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I fervently wished I hadn"t eavesdropped. My hand was shaking violently on the banister and what I"d overheard confirmed what I"d known all along – Gwynn resented me staying here. More than that, she hated me. There were no options left after hearing her arguments and bleakly, I had to agree they were valid. What she said had rung true and I could appreciate where she was coming from. As much as I was at risk with a Kiss of vampires, I put far greater risk upon them.

But what to do now? Going back to the bedroom wasn"t an option; Lucas was expecting to meet me downstairs. I couldn"t pack and leave right away – how would I get out without a confrontation? The idea of facing them with what I"d learned was something I couldn"t stomach. There was only one alternative, which would give me time to digest what had been said and make some decisions about how to get out of the house with the least amount of confrontation.

Taking a deep breath, I cleared my head of the thoughts milling around, knowing Ripley might notice them. I needed to keep my thoughts about the future neutral, so Marianne wouldn"t notice anything if she had one of her fortune-telling moments. This wasn"t going to be easy. The only viable option was to open my mind to the spirits, allowing as many as possible to clamor at once. It would stop Ripley reading my mind and might be enough to stop Marianne seeing my future - at least until I"d decided on one. I set myself the task of thinking about Lucas in my future, despite the heartbreaking realization that it was impossible. Releasing the spirits, the cacophony of voices assaulted my head, the first tendrils of a headache working its way into my temples.

Grasping the banister, I walked carefully down the stairs.

They were seated around the living room, no discernible tension remaining from the argument they"d ended only seconds ago. Marianne met me at the bottom of the stairs and drew me into an affectionate embrace. “We thought you were going to sleep all night through!” She kissed my cheek, her affection both genuine and touching. “Come into the kitchen, Rowena has prepared a meal for you.”

I followed her to the kitchen, the others drifting along behind us. Marianne ushered me to a chair and the rest of the group joined us around the table. This was unusual in itself, normally only Rowena, and occasionally Marianne, joined me in the kitchen. Tonight they all gathered, crammed around the small kitchen table with Gwynn and William sitting on the kitchen bench. The only distinct sign of anything being wrong was the pinched look in Gwynn"s expression, the way she held her arms stiffly crossed over her chest.

Rowena had made pizza and I picked up a slice, mechanically forcing myself to bite and swallow. I listened to the conversation, astonished by how easily they spoke together, with no signs of the anger they"d displayed earlier. Lucas had explained they were adept at lying, creating illusions to deceive humans. It was as natural to them as breathing and even that was an illusion – vampires didn"t need to breathe.

I stole a glance at Ripley, speculating about whether he could hear my thoughts, but there nothing to suggest he was privy to what was going through my mind. The talk was happy and cheerful and I marveled again, at what a cohesive group they were. I would miss them when I moved out and a sharp twinge of misery stabbed my chest.

“So did Lucas give you the gruesome details about last night?” Striker inquired cheerfully.

I nearly choked on the pizza, wondering how Striker could find such enjoyment in something I found so horrifying. He seemed to have truly enjoyed the fight, unlike the others, who considered it distasteful to kill their own.

“Striker, honestly. Can you not act like a gentleman for once in your life?” Ripley sniffed disdainfully.

“It"s okay,” I responded quickly. Striker had a twinkle in his eye, I knew he wanted me to be horrified and I wasn"t going to give him the satisfaction. “He told me all about it, Striker. Sounds like it was quite a fight.”

“You bet it was, when we ripped—”

He was silenced by a howl of protest from the others and I dipped my head, so he couldn"t see the revulsion in my eyes.

“I"m sure Charlotte heard all she wants to about last night,” Ben said quietly. “It must have been distressing for you, left alone here with Katie.”

“I was making contingency plans, if that"s what you mean,” I responded bleakly.

Rowena lifted an eyebrow. “Contingency plans?”

“In case none of you came back,” I said, chewing thoughtfully on my lower lip. “I knew Katie had to be protected and I was worried they would come back here if none of you survived.”

“What did you plan to do?” Acenith enquired. She was sitting beside Rowena, elegant in a flowing silk shirt, her long hair braided.

“I figured there wasn"t much I could do to fight them. I"d decided to search the house, find whatever cash I could gather.” I smiled apologetically. “I was going to steal one of the cars, take Katie, and run.”

“Where did you think you would go?” Rowena asked. “What did you intend to do, once you"d left?”

“Keep Katie safe. I thought I"d drive to Los Angeles and try to catch a flight to Europe, somewhere far away. I figured Katie might have a passport, but I don"t, so I was working out how one goes about getting an illegal passport.” I paused for a few seconds, considering the plan I"d formulated. “I was going to take one of your cell phones, so if anyone survived, I could contact you and let you know where Katie and I were hiding.”

Marianne"s look was admiring, her eyes warm. “We appreciate how much you were willing to do to keep Katie safe, Charlotte.”

I offered her a tiny smile, but it was forced. Gwynn was Katie"s mother, to all intents and purposes, but she most certainly didn"t appreciate a single thing about me.

“Why did you consider an illegal passport?” Ben asked curiously, smoothly moving the conversation forward. “You could have applied and received a passport within twenty four hours.”

“I"m a convicted murder,” I responded bashfully. “I can"t hold a passport for another three years.”

“Great thinking, Lott. I"m seriously impressed,” Striker grinned.

“I told you she was intelligent. It seems she"s extremely cunning, too.” Lucas strode into the kitchen, his sudden appearance startling me. His hair was damp from the shower and he was dressed in navy blue dockers and a white sweater. He leaned across the table and handed me a can of Coke, which I accepted silently, keeping my gaze averted. I couldn"t face those blue eyes when I"d made the decision to leave and knew he would soon hate me.

“I don"t know how you eat that crap, Charlotte. I think I"d rather eat a squirrel,” Striker teased, eyeing the pizza with distaste.

rather“You don"t know what you"re missing.”

I pushed the plate away, having eaten my fill and that appeared to be the cue for a change of subject. Marianne vacated the chair beside me, going to sit with William and Gwynn on the bench top. Lucas took her place, draping his arm around my shoulder and he leaned forward to kiss my cheek. It was all I could do not to burst into tears.

Ben leaned back in his chair, turning his attention to Lucas. “Lucas, would you prefer to speak?”

Lucas shook his head, a broad smile creasing his lips. “No, Ben. You go ahead.”

Ben nodded his affirmation and smiled softly when he turned his gaze to mine. “Charlotte, I have no doubt you"re wondering why we have all gathered together.”

“I"m guessing it wasn"t to watch the human eat,” I replied quietly.

Striker snorted his amusement and Ben"s smile broadened into a grin before he continued. “We wanted to thank you for your insight last night – what you accomplished saved Lucas, Striker and I from a very dangerous situation.

I cringed, guilt pouring through my bloodstream like a virus. “If it wasn"t for me, none of you would have been in that position.”

“Yeah, that"s true. But if it wasn"t for meeting you, I would never have gotten to speak with Mom again,” Striker said seriously.

“We all appreciate what you"ve done for us, Charlotte,” Rowena added. “To discover what really happened that dreadful night – to have the joy of knowing Duncan continued to care for me and watch over me – it was a blessing I never thought to receive.”

Marianne smiled happily, her eyes twinkling. “You"ve given me the opportunity to see my family. It was something I never would have believed possible.”

“We have benefited from you appearance in our existence, Charlotte. Much more, I imagine, than you have benefited from our appearance in yours,” Ben agreed. “Which is why we are gathered here tonight. Lucas told us how you feel about staying here with us and that you consider us family. We feel the same way about you – and we would like you to stay with us on a permanent basis. The Kiss has agreed and in Rowena"s case, she would love nothing better than to have you here to mother,” Ben smiled warmly. “Apparently, you are far more agreeable to being cared for than the rest of us.”

Tears began to flow, silently running down my cheeks. I knew Ben was completely sincere, but I also knew not everyone had agreed to the idea and the knowledge was tearing me apart. Rowena left the table and appeared at my side with a box of Kleenex, which she"d purchased especially for me, the only person who could possibly need them. Vampires couldn"t cry, never got colds. I pulled one from the box and dabbed my eyes, trying to gather the strength for what I was about to do.

Ben continued quietly. “This isn"t something you should enter into lightly. I know you enjoy living here, but our lifestyle is not for the faint-hearted, it"s based on lies and deceit. People around us must be convinced we are human. There are many factors, which you need to consider before you make your decision. The fact that we don"t age is an issue, we can only stay in an area for a limited period and then move on. Sometimes our plans don"t work out, if a human becomes suspicious of our true nature we must leave quickly, uproot, and relocate. You would have to be prepared for that, to know that friendships you make will be destroyed, any employment you undertook would be only a temporary measure. As you know, we will be leaving Puckhaber soon, after Marianne and Striker"s wedding. And for you, there are some unique dangers to living with us.” He paused, glancing around the table. “For the most part, we cope with your scent around us and with careful monitoring of our feeding, you will be safe. However, as a human being, you are particularly fragile. If you were to cut yourself and bleed, it becomes a serious issue. Something as simple as falling over and scraping your knee puts you in danger of one of us losing control and attacking you. The onus would be entirely on you to keep in mind the need to be extremely cautious. You have to be prepared for that.”

I nodded, unable to speak through the lump in my throat.

“There are other problems,” Ben added. “We have contact with vampires from around the world and very few rely on animal blood to survive – most feed on and kill humans. There will be a risk to you every time we encounter them. We will assess each situation and decide if it"s safe for you to stay with us, or if we should separate until the danger passes.” He met Lucas"s eyes and smiled warmly. “Lucas would naturally stay with you, to ensure your safety.”

Lucas drew me closer, kissing my forehead softly. “I will always keep you safe, my Charlotte.”

Cringing at the tenderness in Lucas"s words, I knew how much I was about to hurt him. I took a deep breath, ignoring the tight pull against my ribcage as I wiped away my tears again.

“So what do you think, Lott? Wanna live with the vampires on a permanent basis?” Striker"s voice was filled with enthusiasm and I caught the furious look that crossed Gwynn"s face. I couldn"t be involved in this group being torn apart as my own family had been and I wouldn"t be responsible for them fighting over me being here. Gwynn insisted she was going to leave if I stayed. The situation was untenable.

“I appreciate the offer, I really do.” I stared at my hands, knowing if I looked at anyone I would lose the courage to lie convincingly. “Unfortunately, I can"t stay. I love you all, but— after last night, I"ve done a lot of thinking and I"ve decided I should leave. What happened made me realize how dangerous it is for me to stay. I know none of you would deliberately harm me, but I should be living with humans. It"s the sensible thing to do. I"m— I"m frightened of what might happen if I stay with you and I don"t want to meet any other vampires.”

“I don"t believe you,” Lucas said, his voice sounding raw.

I risked a glance at his face and my heart tightened at the immense pain reflected in his blue eyes. With a shuddering breath, I looked away. “It"s true. You"ve told me repeatedly that you don"t know if you can win the struggle against your natural instincts. I don"t want to take the risk. I"m feeling much better about my life now. I"m thinking about trying to find my real Dad, get to know him again. I belong with humans, not vampires.”

Lucas shook his head vehemently and reached for me, his hands drawing my face up to meet his. “Tell me the truth, Charlotte! Why are you doing this to us?”

The anguish in his voice was almost more than I could bear, but I had to continue, needed to make a clean break. I stared at him, using every ounce of willpower to do so. “I don"t want to stay here with you. You told me you would never stop me from leaving and now I want to. I want a normal life, a normal husband, a normal family. You can"t give me that.”

Lucas"s hands dropped away from my face as thought the contact hurt him. It was obvious how deeply he was wounded; I"d thrown everything about him back in his face. I"d used his promise to me against him, and I would never forgive myself.

I reached for the beautiful ring he"d given me, intent on removing it to give it back. My fingers shook as I attempted to pull it off.

Lucas saw what I was doing and gripped my hand tightly in his. “Keep it. I told you I wanted you to have it always.” He dropped my hand, slumping in the chair with his head in his hands.

“I can"t keep it, Lucas. It wouldn"t be right.”

“I will not take it back,” he said firmly. He remained where he"d slumped, refusing to meet my eyes and my heart shattered.

“Will you at least wait until Jerome removes the plaster next week?” Ben asked. He and the others seemed shell-shocked, unable to believe I really intended to leave. I glanced at Marianne and knew she would be crying, if she were capable of doing so.

“No, I"m going now. Tonight. I"ll drop in at the hospital and get it removed. Don"t misunderstand, I truly appreciate everything you"ve done for me, but I think this is for the best.” I drew myself wearily to my feet. “I"ll go and pack.”

“At least let me help you,” Rowena offered sadly. Her shoulders were slumped and sadness was apparent in her demeanor.

“No, thank you. I"d rather do it myself.” I was cursing myself for this cruelty to the people I loved more than anything. Keeping my gaze lowered, I turned from the table and slowly made my way from the room. I needed to escape to where they couldn"t see me, and where the torrents of pain could be released.

“Charlotte?” I turned at the doorway, forcing my gaze up to meet Ripley"s eyes. He scrutinized me for a few seconds, obviously trying to force his way through the cacophony of voices in my mind. There was no sense of triumph when he failed, only the desperate sadness which threatened to overwhelm me. “I"ll get your car ready,” he finally offered.

“Thank you.” I turned and walked away, heading up the stairs and bracing myself for whatever the future might hold.