The Nememiah Chronicles Collection

Chapter 16

After my disclosures, everyone discussed the shared memories my visions had inspired. I remained silent, lying against Lucas"s chest with immense satisfaction and extreme tiredness coursing through my body, in equal proportions. Lucas held me close and I worried about how he was coping when he"d been so close to me for such an extended period. Thinking he might be finding the proximity uncomfortable, I tried to wriggle away, but Lucas held me against him with an iron grip.

“I"m coping, my Charlotte,” he whispered, his cool breath against my ear making my skin break out in delicious goose bumps.

Soon afterwards, my stomach made itself known by grumbling, at a noise level loud enough for everyone to hear. Rowena vanished into the kitchen and delicious smells began to waft through to the living room a short time later. My mouth started watering long before it arrived, and by the time Rowena appeared and handed me the tray, I was ravenous. She"d fried a steak, and it was accompanied by a pile of freshly steamed vegetables and a baked potato and I wolfed it down swiftly, despite the potato being slightly undercooked and the steak being slightly overcooked. Rowena was doing her best to cook, despite her inexperience, and I would never dream of hurting her feelings.

“We obviously aren"t feeding the human often enough,” Striker observed. “Maybe I should go and hunt up a whole cow for her.”

I screwed up my nose in revulsion. “Thanks, Striker, but no thanks. I"m full. If you"re peckish though, why don"t you go rustle up a squirrel?”

squirrelThere was a moment of stunned silence, and then everyone burst into laughter. Striker looked non-plussed for only a few seconds, before he grinned.

“It seems Charlotte has quite the sense of humor when her health is improved,” Ben announced, amusement clear in his deep voice.

Marianne left the room and was back within seconds, handing me a fresh can of Coke. I accepted it gratefully, taking a long swig.

“You know, out of all the things we give up when we become vampire, that"s one thing I wish I could taste again,” William said quietly, eyeing the soda.

I was still struggling to comprehend the eating thing. Ben had explained vampires didn"t eat human food, or drink human liquids. They could swallow it down at a push, but it held no appeal for them. The only time they ate human food, was to keep their secret from being discovered and even then, they literally had to choke up whatever they"d eaten, as none of the normal human digestive tract worked after they had been created. While they viewed my love of human food as something to reminisce over, almost treating my requirements for nourishment with doting indulgence, I couldn"t understand how drinking blood could possibly appeal to anyone. But still, to each his own. I sucked Coke through the straw happily and snuggled against Lucas.

It surprised me, how calmly I was accepting this state of affairs. I was sitting in a room filled with vampires and most people would be running for the hills right now. Yet I felt no fear, no concern. Maybe I was insane.

wasFrom the corner of my eye, I saw Ripley shake his head imperceptibly and I flushed. Of course – he was reading my mind. It seemed now he had been given the opportunity to get inside my head, he could do so more easily and that would take some getting used to. Some things I thought about weren"t subjects I wanted anyone to know - Lucas being one of them. I peeked at Ripley and saw a tiny smile playing on his lips. Damn. I needed to get my thoughts under control when Ripley was around and that would be… problematic. Like most people, my mind tended to wander and thoughts popped up at any given minute of the day - it was human nature. Trying to control what I thought would be difficult.

Nestled against Lucas I listened to the casual discussion around me. They all seemed so normal. Striker and William were playing poker at the kitchen bench and Marianne was working on a laptop, her brow furrowed in concentration. Rowena was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, brushing her fingers through a sleeping Katie"s hair.

Gwynn was sitting at the piano, playing soft tunes and Acenith was beside Ripley on the couch, flicking through a magazine, her legs crossed delicately at the knee. Ripley was sitting motionless, his focus on the windows overlooking the river and I wondered what he was thinking about. I"d never seen people sit so perfectly still as these did, when they weren"t doing something, they were as still as statues. Ben was sitting in an armchair, reading a book and occasionally adding something to the conversation that ebbed and flowed sporadically.

I woke abruptly when Lucas lifted me into his strong arms. I"d been so relaxed; I hadn"t realized I"d fallen asleep. “Time for bed, Charlotte,” he murmured quietly against my hair.

He carried me upstairs, along the hall we"d passed through hours ago. I heard the others calling goodnight and called back to them. I didn"t have my bearings in this huge house, but I was certain he"d passed the blue room I"d been sleeping in. “Where are we going?”

“Jerome believes you have recovered enough to no longer need the hospital bed. I"m taking you to your new room.” He strode along a wide hallway and I speculated about how big this house really was. I"d only seen it from the front when we came upon it from the river, it looked big then, but the appearance had been deceiving. From the little I"d seen even today, it was enormous. Lucas turned and walked down another hall, coming to a door at the end that he pushed open, still cradling me in his arms. “This is your new room.”

It was still a large room, but seemed cozier than the others I"d seen. As my eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, I saw a large window looked out onto the forest that surrounded the house. The room was decorated with elegantly carved oak furniture, the enormous bed draped in luxurious red silk with a draped canopy overhead. It was covered in an enticingly thick quilt and huge fluffy pillows graced the headboard. Every amenity was available; widescreen TV, a DVD player, an iPod with a docking station. The room looked exceptionally lived in, and I mentioned this fact to Lucas.

“It"s my room, Charlotte.” He saw my mouth open to argue and continued. “I will share a room with Ripley, while you recover. I want you to be comfortable and I will accept no argument to the contrary.” He pulled back the quilt and sheet masterfully with one hand, before setting me down on the bed.

He sat beside me and I grinned sheepishly. “I need to brush my teeth.”

A sigh. “Of course you do.” Lucas picked me up again, carrying me carefully down the hallway and into a sumptuously appointed bathroom. “Do you need any help?” he queried.

“Uh, no. I think I can handle this on my own.”

“I"ll wait outside.” He closed the door silently and I stared at my reflection in the mirror. The haunted look was fading, replaced with an expression that looked almost… blissful. My belongings had been moved into here and I picked up my toothbrush, brushed my teeth, and pulled the hairbrush through my hair. Returning to my reflection in the mirror, I sighed. I was never going to be gorgeous like them. I was plain. Boring, even. A trickle of doubt crept into my mind. What on earth would make Lucas want me?

wantThere was a soft knock at the door. “Is everything alright?”

Poking my tongue out at my reflection, I answered. “You can come in.”

Lucas pushed open the door and stepped into the bathroom. “Ready now?”

With my nod of agreement, he lifted me into his arms again. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed his cheek softly as he carried me back along the hall.

“What was that for?” he asked huskily and the intoxicating scent of his breath washed over me.

“Just because you"re you and I"m grateful you accept me for me.”

He shook his head a little, his eyebrows lifting in amusement. “Of course I accept you. How could I not? You are the most wonderful thing in my existence.”

I was thoughtful as he put me down on the bed again, allowing him to tuck me in before I spoke. “I don"t understand.”

“Understand what?” He sat on the bed beside me, his eyes intense.

“I don"t understand why you would be interested in me. I"m nothing special.”

He leaned towards me, his face only inches from mine. “Charlotte, you are beautiful. Why can"t you see that? You are my whole world now. There is nothing that I would not do for you.” He kissed me and my warm lips molded to his cooler ones. Familiar tingling zapped through my body as the electric current of desire smoldered through my entire being, centering down to a point low in my groin. Snaking my arms up to his head I ran my fingers through his silky dark hair, pulling him towards me and pressing deeper into the kiss. He captured my hands in his, extricating them from his hair before gently pushing me away. “Easy, my love.”

I pouted. “I don"t want you to stop kissing me.”

Another sigh greeted this announcement. “I don"t want to stop kissing you, either. Is that what you think? That I don"t want this as much as you do?”

I nodded, feeling ridiculous for my insecurities, but unable to stop myself from experiencing them. He raised one eyebrow mockingly. “How can you think I don"t want to keep kissing you? It"s all I think of. The feel of your skin against mine, the feel of your lips on my own. But I cannot afford to lose my concentration, Charlotte. My control when it comes to you is tenuous at best. Admittedly, it is getting a little easier, having spent so much time with you in the past three weeks – it seems I am getting used to your aroma and the craving is easier to manage. That"s all I"m doing though – managing it. I haven"t mastered it.”

“Do you think you ever will?”

He studied me for a long moment. “I don"t know,” he admitted wearily. “Our emotions… are different to yours. More acute. We live so long with no change in our existence. When something comes along that turns our world upside down,” he raised his hand and rubbed his fingers across my cheek, “it"s harder to control, because the emotions are so overwhelming.”

We sat in silence, staring into one another"s eyes before Lucas spoke again. “Don"t you want to know what my Christmas gift is?”

“The thought crossed my mind earlier. Then I realized all those gifts came from you.” I smiled to myself, the memory of the paints, the books, my car – only Lucas could have known my favorite things so completely. “I"ve no doubt your suggestions were behind all the gifts I received.”

Lucas smiled tenderly. “You are easy to read, I will admit that.” He reached into the pocket of his trousers and retrieved a small velvet box, which he held on the open palm of his hand. “They were only gifts I could recommend the others give you. This is a gift from me, a gift from my heart.”

He extended his palm towards me and I stared wordlessly at the small black box. Looking up, I saw an array of emotions flickering in his blue eyes. I lifted the box hesitantly and opened it. Nestled against the black velvet was a gold ring, so delicate and fragile it took my breath away. The gold was twisted into a plaited design, the ends coming together in a simple filigree heart.

“Lucas, it"s beautiful.” I fingered the gold, so strong and sturdy, yet looking impossibly fragile in this elegant ring.

Lucas took the box, removing the ring and lifting my right hand to place it on my ring finger. “It was my grandmother"s. She wore this when she married my grandfather in the eighteen century. I know we haven"t known each other long – in human years, the briefest of times. But I want you to have this, to wear and remember that wherever you go, whatever you choose to do in your life, you will always have my heart. I will never stop you from doing what you want to do. I will never stop you from leaving, if you choose to do so. I only want what makes you happy, which in turn will make me happy.”

I stared at the delicate ring, watching how the bedside lamp caught the gold, glancing across it so it shimmered. I"d never seen anything so stunning and couldn"t believe he wanted to give it to me. It seemed like a promise of a future together and I knew in my heart, this was what I wanted. This is what my endless travelling for the past two years had been bringing me to. I was home.

When I looked up, I was aware my feelings were reflected in the green of my eyes. It was simple to say the words, effortless to say what my heart was bursting with. I reached up to touch his face and he shut his eyes. When I ran my fingers down the side of his face, he captured my hand within his and kissed my fingers.

“I love you.”

His eyes snapped open and he gazed at me for the longest time, sheer delight in his expression as he absorbed those three words.

“As I do you, my Charlotte. I love you. You will have my heart for an eternity and beyond.” He leaned forward, cupping my face between his hands and lowered his lips to mine again with a cool hard pressure that made my head spin. I pressed my palms against his chest, savoring the hard muscle concealed beneath the thin cotton of his shirt. I wanted more, needed to feel him, hold him against my body, and let him make love to me. The material between us was too much and it frustrated. I lifted my hands to his shoulders, wanting to hold him against me, needing nothing more than to hold him and have him touch me. I ran my tongue across the seam of his lips and he groaned, giving me the opportunity to slip into his mouth. For a few, brief seconds he allowed this exploration of his mouth and I savored every facet, running my tongue across his teeth as my hands wandered down to rub tentatively across his broad chest and lower to his abdomen. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew I wanted him, all of him. He inhaled sharply and pulled away, catching my arms to shove me away.

In a split-second, he was standing by the large window, wrenching it open. His eyes were wild and I was horrified when I noticed his fangs had extended, pressing sharply against his lower lip. “Charlotte, you are driving me out of my mind,” he snarled angrily. He rubbed his hands harshly over his face and took a deep breath of the frosty air as I slumped back against the pillows, my heart pumping violently. With stark clarity, I understood I"d pushed too far and immediately swore to myself that I wouldn"t put him under this level of duress again. I had to learn to control my responses, as he was learning to control his primal response to my blood.

“I"m sorry, Lucas. I didn"t mean to… do that,” I offered contritely.

He stood with his back to me, hands clutching against the open window frame and he took another deep breath of the icy cold air. I shivered a little, my thin negligee and dressing gown inappropriate for the rush of arctic air flowing into the room. I pulled the quilt higher so it covered my shoulders and waited in silence for him to regain control.

He dropped one hand from the window frame and yanked it roughly through his hair, emitting a string of curses that made me cringe. I saw him take more deep breaths, one, two, and then three, before he dropped his other hand from the frame and his shoulders slumped. It was another full minute before he turned to face me and distress was apparent in his eyes, although I was relieved to see his fangs had retracted. “It is I who should apologize, Charlotte. I told you I was learning to manage my craving, but it seems I was ridiculously overconfident. I cope when we are sitting together but… kissing you is a different matter entirely.” He dropped his gaze, shamefaced and I held my hand out, silently willing him to come back to the bed. He hesitated, his long thick eyelashes hiding his eyes from me.

“Please.” I didn"t know what to do, what to say to make this better.

PleaseWith a groan, he walked to the bed and dropped down on the edge, keeping his gaze averted from mine.

“Explain it to me. What happens when we kiss? I need to understand,” I requested quietly.

He sighed unhappily, running his hand through his dark hair so it was even more disheveled. “I can hear your heart beating, pumping your blood around your body. It"s normal for me to hear that – but when I kiss you, your heartbeat increases in tempo and the sound of your blood travelling through your veins is so much louder… far more tempting.” He dropped his head into his hands, his remorse overwhelming. “I hear your pulse beating in your throat and I"m terrified of losing control.”

It took maybe a full thirty seconds before I could respond. “I trust you, Lucas. I know you can manage this.”

He spoke through gritted teeth. “You shouldn"t trust me, Charlotte! You know what I am; you know what I am capable of!” He wrenched away from me, standing abruptly to pace backwards and forwards across the room, his movement jerky with the anger he was barely able to suppress. “This is an impossible situation! I should have stayed far away from you – it was the right thing to do.”

shouldn"tright“No!” The thought of being without him was the very worst thing I could imagine. Tears stung my eyes and ran down my cheeks and I swiped at them unhappily. The idea of losing what I"d only found a few weeks ago was unthinkable.

Lucas was immediately repentant and slumped back onto the bed, pulling me into his arms. He used the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks and settled back against the bed head, settling me against his chest. I cried until there were no tears left, the front of his shirt soaked. He soothed me softly with kind words, rubbing my back in a reassuring gesture.

When I began to calm, he shuffled down on the bed and settled my head against his chest, the quilt providing a protective barrier between us.

“You won"t leave me, will you?” I whispered hoarsely. “Promise me. I"m begging you, Lucas, don"t leave me.” It didn"t matter if I sounded pathetic. I didn"t care if I was needy and desperate. The idea of trying to continue without him was utterly inconceivable and I didn"t care who knew it.

He ran his fingers through my hair, pushing curls away from my tear-ravaged face. “I won"t leave you,” he finally agreed heavily. “I promise.”

I wanted to believe him, knew he meant what he said. But I could hear the despair in his voice.