BUTTERFLY

DO YELLOW EYES CATCH LIES

When the tears of children drown the beauty, silence is the cruel self of God.

I looked into his yellow eyes, scared but careful not to show it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to figure out if he was really threatening me, prepared to run screaming at the slightest wrong move.

His eyebrows rose and he glanced at my hand, which I had clenched into a tight fist. Then he looked at my clothes again.

"You might freeze before you get home." He said and tilted his head slightly to the side. I couldn't help but take a look at my clothes too, the cold had frozen and hardened the wet places. İt wasn't cold enough to freeze.

But when I realized that he was not threatening me, I relaxed a little.

"My house is close, I can manage. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I think you were asleep." I said, even though it was strange for him to sleep here. He was already dressed thinly, I guess he was good with the cold.

So not everyone here got cold as quickly as grandma.

When the bucket started to hurt my hand, I took it in my other hand, careful not to spill it. The man was studying my every move for no reason and looked at the bucket briefly.

Even though I realized he wasn't threatening me, I wanted to get away from him. I might have been scared because I didn't know him, but my instincts made me feel like I was dealing with something dangerous.

"No problem, I can help you carry it home if you want." I smiled politely when he offered.

"That's very kind of you, thank you, but I can manage. " I said and, not wanting to stay here any longer, I wished him good evening and headed home.

My knees were shaking, partly from the cold and partly from nervousness.

Honestly, he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life. But that didn't mean I was going to go home with him.

Not when my gut was telling me to run away.

Even though I was a person who was hungry for human conversation and had never left her safe space in her life, I wasn't stupid. I was in a different world, I could never be sure that this man meant to help.

And what was the point of sitting on the edge of a tree and sleeping in the middle of winter!

Walking was a bit difficult as I felt like I was dying every time my frozen clothes touched my skin. It took me twice as long as usual. grandma must have been absolutely mad.

When I came out of the forest, I saw the grandmother coming anxiously from the opposite direction. When she saw me, she shouted, waving the cane in her hand.

"Where are you, girl!" She said in an angry manner. She was obviously worried about me.

"I fell into the stream, grandma, I was scared when I saw a man in the woods and my foot slipped." By the time I said that, my grandmother had reached me. She looked at me and sighed a deep 'wah'.

"You clumsy, you are frozen." She said and took the bucket from my hand and put it down. Immediately afterwards, she took the small blanket like cover from her back and draped it over my shoulder.

"Quick, run to the stove!" she said in her grumpy manner. I smiled and leaned over and kissed her warm cheek with lips like ours.

"Grandma!" I said, and she hit my butt with her cane and grunted.

I ran home like a penguin because of my frozen pants.

I was sitting at the table we had set up by the stove, drinking the warm soup and feeling goosebumps on my skin. I sniffed my runny nose and stretched my cold feet close to the stove.

I had learned that the iron box with the fire burning inside was called a stove, I had come across it in books before, but I didn't know what it looked like. As far as I knew, heating in the palace was provided by hot water circulating inside the wall.

"Who was that man?" Grandma asked. I flinched inwardly when I remembered his eyes. I didn't want to meet him again, but at the same time I wanted to. It could have been because he was handsome. After all, I was a young girl just coming out of puberty and my hormones might try to manipulate my emotions.

I shrugged as I took a piece of bread from the table.

"I don't know. He had a sword, he was asleep at the base of a tree." When I replied, grandma grunted as if thinking.

In the fall, which lasted about two months, I had a lot of fun in the garden, growing a lot of vegetables for the winter and even selling the surplus at the market. I wanted to go too, but she wouldn't let me because I was not yet good at interacting with people.

"What color were his clothes?" She asked a new question and I realized I was frozen, staring at the stove with a spoon in my hand.

"It was black with a brown belt. He didn't have a coat or anything. And his eyes were yellow." I said, these were the details that caught my eye. I didn't understand why grandma was so interested in this.

When she said, "Did you talk?" I was going to the pot next to the stove to fill my empty plate.

"Yes, I thought he was dead and I called out and he woke up. He offered to carry the bucket but I refused." I said, and Grandma made an approving noise.

"Well done, judging by his clothes, he was the god's guard, no harm done, but you did well. It is good to be careful. The god's guards are handsome, well done, well done. You surprise me every time." I was filling my plate and sitting at the table when she said, I smiled.

"What a gem I am, aren't I, girl." I said and tossed my hair back.

Grandma looked at me with an expression that never left her face and made her look like she was not happy about anything and shook her head from side to side.

"I'll ask my friends soon, let's see who it is." She said.

Although I was intrigued by the fact that he was the god's guard, I didn't think much about it, at least not until now. Was it normal to sleep in the forest in the middle of winter here?

"Why was he sleeping in the forest?" I muttered to myself. I put my hand on my cheek and thought about his sleeping form. I still got goosebumps thinking about him.

"You never know why soldiers do what they do. They all have their minds elsewhere." Grandma said and got up from her chair and took her empty plate to the kitchen. I must have been sleepy because I was cold. So I quickly cleared the table and went to my room to sleep.

When I put my head on the pillow, I was thinking about that man.

Mistress Seli's gentle hands ran through my hair. She had a little song in her mouth and a beautiful sun was dancing above us. I looked at the pollen floating in the air, the scent of flowers that I had missed was penetrating me.

"Princess?" she said in a pensive and soft voice as she started to brush my hair with a brush. I smiled. Even though she was tormenting me, I was happy to sit with her during our quiet times like this.

"Here you are, mom." When I replied, she stopped combing my hair and gently placed her hands on my shoulders. She put her face close to my ear.

"Did you forget!"

I jumped up at the sudden scream of Mistress Seli and looked around my room, illuminated by the first light of day. Even though the curtains were tightly drawn, I could see the surroundings.

I put my hand over my pounding heart, closed my open mouth and tried to calm my rapid breathing for a while. It seemed I had woken up from a terrible nightmare again.

I had been waking up the same way every morning since the day I came here.

I remembered having a dream about Mistress Seli, but there were no details. All I remembered about my dreams was that they were about my brother, sister or Mistress Seli. Other than that, there was only the fear I was experiencing.

To be honest, it wasn't something I wanted to think about, whatever I was dreaming about, it was better not to remember it in my dreams. I felt the same way about what had happened just before I came here, as if my whole life would be turned upside down if I remembered it.

Even though it was early, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep again, so I got out from under the warm duvet. The stove was out at night, so it was cold in the morning. So I quickly put on my slippers, put on my coat and went to the living room.

I took out the ashes from yesterday's stove, dumped them in the trash and went out to the backyard through the door from the kitchen. Grandma's stockpile of firewood was right next to the house where the beast called donkey was staying. I filled a bucket with firewood and returned home.

I lit the stove as I had learned from my grandmother. In fact, this thing was very handy. It had a boiler on top filled with water and when the water boiled, it filled the pipes. Even on the floor of the house, when the pipes were filled with hot water, the house was heated.

The system in the palace was hot water from the underground spring. But here they regulated their own hot water.

When the stove started to catch fire, I went to the house to see how the monster was doing. He was sitting in the small compartment reserved for him. He could have been sleeping.

I took the contaminated food out of the stone lunch box at the base of the wall and refilled it. It was very interesting that it ate only dried grass.

I left the water can untouched as it still had water in it and went back home. It had become a general morning routine for me. Cleaning the house, melting the snow, washing the dishes and boiling water for the bath. When I had done all that and started to set the table, Grandma came out of her room.

"Good morning, grandma!" I said loudly and ran to her and kissed her cheek. Even though grandmother was sleeping in the living room before I came, a room had been arranged for both of us after my arrival.

"What is this happiness in the morning, you colt." She said and helped me set the table. When we sat down at the table together, grandma took some dried meat on her plate. I was horrified that people here ate meat, it was definitely not something I could ever get used to.

"I asked my friend about the man you met yesterday." My hand reaching for the cheese was in the air when she interjected. I sometimes felt nauseous thinking about where this cheese came from, but it tasted great. The meat I absolutely refused to try, it shouldn't be normal to be eating each other!

I nodded for her to continue and put the cheese on my plate, my ears perked up, so to speak.

"Finally, luck smiled on him. He's God's right hand man." She said and poured her tea and added a sugar cube. The smile on Grandma's face surprised me more than who the man was. I couldn't help but smile too.

"I mean, what does that mean?" I asked, did she want me to contact that man?

"They knew who he was by his eye color. It's interesting that he's chatting with you." She said and took a sip of her tea, still smiling the same smile. She was smiling as if she had a plan in mind.

"Why?" I asked. It was true that I was curious about the man, but there was a part of me that said I had to take care of him.

When grandma gave me a suggestive look, I wondered if I looked too interested in the man.

"Men of God don't talk to just anyone. Women faint on their way, but none of them turn to look." When she said that, she was watching me as if she wanted to see my reaction. I was inevitably nervous when she did that.

"So what good is this going to do me, grandma ?" I said and poured tea into my cup. There was no point in thinking so much about a man I had only seen once.

"What does it mean to be lovers with the right hand of God, girl?" she asked, saying each word one by one as if I was hard to understand. My eyebrows rose when I realized what she meant.

"It could be an opportunity to talk to God!" I said excitedly. But it didn't take long for my excitement to fade.

"But grandma , isn't it ridiculous to bring it up just because he offered to help. After all, where will I ever see him again? Besides, just because he offered to help doesn't mean he's interested in me." I said with a shrug.

The tea was very hot, so I blew on it a few times.

"Soldiers of God don't deal with anyone, and if they do, it's for a reason. He must have liked you, he talked to you. Let's try our luck anyway." She said and stood up, taking the cane she leaned against her chair. Why was this woman using a cane when she was so strong?

"How are we going to try our luck, I don't get it, Grandma?" I asked, as if I had heard it, even though I had hardly eaten.

Was I excited?

"Come on, get up, take your hive and go get water. If he likes you, he'll be there again." Grandma said and took my coat hanging on the coat rack by the door.

"Am I going now?" I said in shock as I stood up. Was I supposed to talk to that man?

What could I talk about?

"Are you planning to go next year? Come on, you don't get an opportunity like this easily, I'll break your legs if you miss it." She said, waving her cane.

I quickly grabbed the coat from her hand and put it on, tidying up my messy hair.

"Shouldn't I dress nicer and comb my hair?" I asked as she handed me the bucket.

"If you dress up, he'll know you're dressing up for him. " I was confused when she said that. Wouldn't it be better if I dressed up for him? After all, he would know I was interested in him?

"You don't get it, do you?" She said when I remained silent. I smiled and nodded as if to confirm her.

Grumbling, she headed for the door.

"Just do what I say. Don't turn him down if he says anything, but don't let him get close to you." She said and opened the door and pushed me out.

Grandma seemed to understand these things, I put on a wicked smile.

"Girl, you're a badass, how do you know this stuff?" I said, nudging her shoulder. When I saw her raising her cane, I quickly headed for the exit of the garden. "Who knows how many lives you have hurt!" I said with a laugh and started on my way while grandma was complaining behind me.

*****

Ducceta stormed out of her seat and walked over to the trembling man in front of her.

"What do you mean we can't find him!" she shouted angrily. The mighty power of her body was reflected in her voice, making even the inlaid glass of the castle tremble.

The man could no longer look into Ducceta's red eyes and fell to his knees.

"Ma'am, we believe he has the ability to hide. There is no trace of it anywhere." He said shakily. As Ducceta turned away angrily, the wounded sparrow on her shoulder lost its balance for a moment and spread its wings.

"Even this sparrow is more useful than you." She said and gestured briefly to the servant standing a step behind her chair. The servant woman gave a quick bow and retreated, returning shortly afterwards with a red cloak.

As Ducceta slung it over her shoulder, the man, still on his knees, looked up.

"Call the hunters, I will go to find him. If that demon has truly entered the world of the gods, there is no time to sit and wait for you." She said and headed for the big door of the hall. The tiny sparrow stayed on her shoulder as the young woman chased the prey that had escaped her grasp.

There would be bloodshed, a lot of bloodshed if a demon had entered the world of the gods.

*****

Although it was cold, the sun shining in the cloudless sky warmed my bones.

I was slightly excited, using the bucket in my hand to draw smiley faces in the snow as I entered the forest.

Of course, I was excited because it was not the first time I was going to talk to a stranger my own age.

The idea of making a friend, which I had dreamed of all my life, could come true now. Of course, I didn't really know what to talk about.

I also wanted to stay away from that man. Even though this feeling was strong when I first saw him, it was very faint now. It could have been because I was scared, though. Or I might have wanted to run away inwardly because it was the first time I was face to face with a stranger my age.

I didn't know. Was there anything I could do if he tried to hurt me?

Grandma wouldn't let me go near someone who could hurt me, though.

I looked around. The small trees in the forest were still asleep, so it was very quiet. The gentle breeze had made me feel a little chilly, and the sun's rays were no longer fully penetrated by the tree branches.

I put the ring of the bucket on my arm and tucked my hands in my pockets, all the while continuing to look around without being obvious.

If I saw the man and he didn't see me, should I go and greet him?

As I got close enough to the stream to hear his voice, I heard a sound other than my own footsteps, so I looked in the direction of the sound. Although I couldn't see much because of the dense trees, there didn't seem to be anyone there.

I frowned involuntarily. I was sure I heard someone's footsteps in the snow.

Could it have been that man? Or a wolf?

Grandma had told me that wolves sometimes roamed the forest and that I should be careful. Unlike in my world, here wolves were wild and fed on meat.

I got goose bumps. Should I have gone home?

But it could have been that guy. Although it would have been strange for him to walk behind me without making a sound.

I shook my head from side to side, realizing that I had been staring in the same direction for a few minutes without moving, my toes aching from the cold. If something had happened, I would have heard it again by now. I had probably heard it wrong. So it would have been better that way.

I took my hands out of my pockets and continued on my way towards the creek. As the creek came into sight, I heard the same sound again and turned around, startled.

"Who's there?" I asked in the direction of the voice, but I couldn't see anyone. I squinted my eyes and looked at the snow to see footprints, but there were no footprints.

When a voice like a whisper came from the path I had just passed, I felt goosebumps on my skin. I took a few steps back, not understanding what it was saying, but I was sure I heard something.

I squeezed the ring shaped handle of the bucket tightly and took another step backwards. Was it that man, or could he be playing with me?

What could I do, I couldn't go home because the sound was coming from that direction, should I go towards the creek and go out in the open?

In the open I could see what this thing was, so I turned around and started walking towards the creek with fast steps. The footsteps I had heard were following me.

I quickly turned my head and looked behind me, but there was still nothing around. I quickened my pace, and when I heard the same whispering sound, I started running. It was not easy to run in the snow.

When I reached the small valley, I quickly turned around and looked into the forest. The footsteps were gone and the whispering had stopped. I walked backwards, away from the forest.

"You look scared."

A high pitched scream escaped my mouth at the sound of the voice coming from right behind me. Reflexively, I turned around quickly, swinging the bucket in my hand at the person behind me. The bucket hit the man's shoulder and bounced back, hitting my leg. Even though it hurt, I almost didn't feel it because my fear outweighed the pain.

The man's dark brows furrowed and he looked at the bucket in my hand for a brief moment.

"What happened?" he asked, his demeanor calm but curious.

Since I was so close to him, I took a step back and looked into his eyes, panting.

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to." I said, still trembling with fear. I glanced out of the corner of my eye at the forest behind me and the man noticed my movement and looked in my direction. When his bright yellow eyes returned to mine, he didn't seem angry that I had hit him.

"It's okay, it's my fault for approaching quietly, ma'am." He said and glanced into the forest again.

"Did something scare you?" he continued as he looked into the forest.

It was hard to stand because of my shaking knees.

"I don't know, something was coming from behind me but I couldn't see it." I said, even my voice was shaking.

"It could have been an animal, it's not safe to be alone in the forest at this time of year." He was still looking at the forest when he said.

"But you sleep in the forest?" I asked, realizing later how ridiculous my question was when I remembered that he was a soldier. The man must have been strong to be the right hand of God.

When the man turned his eyes to me, he had a small smile on his face. Was he mocking me? Or was he the one who followed me into the woods?

"It's interesting that you don't recognize me." He said and put his hands in his pockets and looked me in the eyes. Was it suspicious that I didn't recognize him? Would he understand that I was not of this world?

"Of course I know you're a soldier, I'm sorry I'm a bit confused." I said, inevitably flustered. I had to be careful talking to him, they could be killing those who came as sacrifices, like the women of God. It would be right to keep a low profile.

He put his hand on the back of his neck and scratched it with a smile.

"What is the name of this lady walking bravely alone in the forest?" I was surprised when he asked.

Was he really interested in me? Yesterday I thought he only wanted to help me, after all it was because of his that I fell into the stream.

"Een." I said, dumbfounded. He held out his hand and smiled.

"Nice to meet you Een, I'm Kize." When he said that, I looked at his outstretched hand.

I couldn't understand why he was holding out his hand, did he want something? Were we going to hold hands like in love books?

I took a step back, trying to smile. Grandma had told me not to let him approach me.

His smile faded slightly as he lowered his raised hand. Did he want something else?

"I'd better get some water and come back." I said and headed for the stream. A light flickered in his yellow eyes. It wasn't imagination, it had happened the first time we met.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to accompany you home, the forest is not so safe lately." I was pouring water, trembling slightly, when he said that.

When the bucket was full of water, I turned and looked at the man, I think he would have been fine walking with me. Grandma had told me not to fire him after all.

"I don't want to tire you out, Mr. Kize." I said politely. Actually, I would have liked to walk with him.

God, this man was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life.

He smiled broadly and reached for the bucket in my hand.

"Don't worry I won't get tired, let me carry it for you." I was about to protest when he said, but he had already taken it from me.

"Thank you." I said, not knowing what to say. As he smiled, I noticed his slightly long canines.

I put my hands in my pockets and we started walking towards the forest. "Your hair color..." I was looking for something to talk about when he said it, but luckily he found it first. "Did you change color or is it hereditary?" When he continued, my eyebrows furrowed involuntarily.

Was it possible to change hair color? Apparently it was here.

"I think it's hereditary." I said, I didn't know what hereditary meant, but since I didn't change my hair color, I guess I could use the other option.

"Do you have white hair in your family?" He asked me with a smile, did he realize that I didn't understand?

But the fact that he asked about my family alarmed me.

"I don't know." I said quickly. Grandma had warned me not to tell people that I didn't remember my family or my past. I wasn't supposed to say anything about where I came from. It could mean my death, the slightest mistake.

I noticed that Kize was frowning slightly.

"So I..." I said and paused. Would he understand if I lied? I had to tell him by not lying.

"I mean, I think I had an accident, I don't remember because I lost my memory." I said quickly. It wasn't a lie, but it didn't answer his question either.

He didn't say anything, which worried me even more, but I tried not to show it. He said he understood and stopped talking, but his brow was still a little furrowed. I had to find a topic, it would be good to change the subject.

"Do you live here, Mr. Kize?" I asked after a short silence. It was the best topic I could think of.

Before going to sleep, I used to reenact the stories I had read in books about how they met in my head, I used to make up scenarios and have nice conversations. Where had all that imagination gone now?

"No, I'm here for the winter hunt." This time my eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you always sleep in the woods?" I asked and he laughed. I noticed his canines again. He had a nice smile, but it was a bit scary.

"I don't sleep in the forest, Een, I have a house in the mountains. If you don't believe me, I'll put you up sometime." When he said that, I couldn't help but smile, it wasn't like he would always sleep in the forest.

Even though it was strange that he immediately addressed me as 'you', I wasn't bothered.

"Last time you slept in the forest, and in these thin clothes. Aren't you cold?" He looked at me out of the corner of his eye as I murmured.

The way he squinted made me pause for a moment, had I said something wrong?

"And what exactly do you do in this village at the top of the mountain?" I looked at the bucket in his hand. Was it right to make him carry it all the way?

"I've never seen you around here?" He continued.

Was he trying to bring up something to talk about or was he looking for my mouth?

Could he have suspected me?

"I usually spend most of my time at home, so you might not have seen me." I said, shrugging my shoulders, trying to give the impression of a normal situation.

Oh, I wonder if I was succeeding in lying! I'd love to see myself from the outside looking in right now. How was I?

Mistress Seli always said I was a bad liar.