BUTTERFLY

GOOD OR BAD

Let the blood be a dedication to the good memories that are no longer in our line. Evil is always here, with us.

"By the way, you're stronger than you look Een, the bucket is heavy." My eyes widened when he said that. Of course, I had forgotten, I had to make him carry it all the way! I looked at him quickly.

"I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mind." I said hurriedly. Kize stopped and looked at me as if he didn't understand.

"I can carry it if you are tired, you carried it all the way." I continued and reached for the bucket in his hand.

He looked at me puzzled and stopped me by putting his hand on my shoulder. Immediately afterwards he laughed briefly.

"I'm not tired, Een." He said, emphasizing my name. He lowered his hand on my shoulder and smiled.

My face was hot. I felt embarrassed.

"Okay." I said and we continued walking in silence, and we were out of the forest in no time.

I saw the grandmother coming out with the ashes of the stove in her hand. When she saw us, she walked to the garden gate and leaned on her cane and waited at the gate.

Why was she waiting?

"grandmother?" I asked her in my heart. Why was she waiting! Was she trying to embarrass me?

"your grandmother?" Kize asked. How did he know she was my grandmother, did I think out loud?

"Yes." By the time I said that, we had reached the grandmother.

"Good day, ma'am." Kize said to grandmother. Grandmother looked at me and then at Kize.

"Alamadae Kize, the right hand of God, good day to you too." She said in a grumpy manner. She was giving Kize a very stern look.

Kize smiled and looked at me. I quickly took the bucket from his hand, understanding what he meant.

Why was grandmother looking at Kize as if she was going to beat him with her cane at any moment?

Kize smiled at the grandmother out of courtesy. "I met your grandchild in the woods, sir, and we had a little chat. I hope there's nothing wrong?"

I felt myself tense. I noticed that the grandmother's hard gaze had changed, but her expression had not softened.

There was no emotion in Kize's eyes, despite the smile on his face. The brief glance between them gave me goosebumps. Had Kize scared Grandma?

"Good." Grandma said and looked away from Kize and looked at me.

Come on, was Grandma afraid of Kize? Was I misunderstanding her!

"Keep your hands off my grandchild." She said, not looking at Kize, and took the bucket from my hand and went home.

I looked after her in shock. What exactly was this tense atmosphere between them?

I took a step back, reluctantly moving away from Kize, which of course he had noticed.

"I didn't fully explain who I am, I'm sorry." He said and put his hand on the back of his neck and pretended to scratch it. When I managed to smile with difficulty, I turned to look at his face.

The scary look he had just given to the grandmother was gone. But I caught a suspicious look in his eyes, as if he was trying to gauge my reaction to something.

Even though he had been very kind to me from the moment we spoke, was he really not like that!

"Of course it's okay Mr. Kize, we didn't have much time to talk anyway." I said, still surprised by the situation, but I was always good at talking. "Please excuse me on behalf of my grandmother. She is actually a very sweet woman, but she can be a bit protective when it comes to me." I continued quickly.

Kize smiled and I froze, not understanding what was happening when he reached out and took my hand. I was about to turn around and run away when he lifted my hand and kissed the top of my fingers.

"I have to go now, have a good day." He said with a smile. My fingers tingled as I pulled my hand away from his warm hand. I felt my face burning from the heat.

"Good evening Mr. Kize, thank you for your help." I smiled.

As he turned around and walked into the forest, I wanted to watch him but I knew it would be a stupid move so I quickly went home.

I looked at the part of my hand he had kissed, my heart was beating very fast and there were many reasons for that.

Kissing my hand was of course one of them. It was the first time in my life that a stranger had entered my private space and kissed me. God, even my brother had never kissed me before.

But the situation with grandma was still on my mind, of course.

"He's a bit flirtatious, but we'll manage." Grandma said as she chopped tomatoes into the pot on the stove.

Taking a deep breath, I took off my snow covered shoes and left them in the big bucket by the door so as not to make a mess. As I took off my coat, I was thinking about where I would get to the point.

"Is Kize dangerous, Grandma?" I asked as I walked to the table. I pulled one of the chairs and sat down weakly, as if Kize's lips were still on my fingers.

"He's a handful, don't let him get close to you." The fact that she ignored my question made me suspicious. When I frowned at her, she put the lid off the pot and sat down on the chair opposite me.

"Bring a cup of tea and we'll talk about it." When she said that, I quickly got up from my seat and went to the kitchen. I had a bad feeling.

I didn't like the possibility of Kize being a bad person. Being a kind man suited him.

As I put the glasses on the table, Grandma poured steaming tea. I sat in my chair and picked up my cup.

"Look Een, Kize is a soldier, remember that. Soldiers won't hurt any of the commoners, but none of them are in their right mind. You never know how they will react." Grandma looked into my eyes and took a sip of the hot tea. Unlike her, I had no tolerance for heat.

"Be careful when you talk to him, make sure he doesn't get angry. I'm not saying he will hurt you, but it's important to be careful." I was confused when he continued. She was saying that he wouldn't hurt me, but I was sure that Grandma was afraid of Kize.

"Why do I need to be careful?" I asked and she took a deep breath and took another sip of her tea. The house was quiet except for the sound of vegetable soup bubbling on the stove.

"Kize was at war for eight years, war is not easy. It affects the human psyche easily, especially when you've spent eight years just killing people." When she said that I felt breathless, this world is horrible! Even though people lived in prosperity, they killed and ate animals and fought and killed each other.

Of course there was war in my world too, but we didn't kill each other, our understanding of war was completely different. We fought economic wars to exhaust the country's power and make it submit, we didn't kill anyone.

What kind of a person was God! Why did he let them kill each other?

"So Kize killed people?" I asked and Grandma nodded.

Grandma had told me about the eight years of war before, but I didn't know that they killed each other in those wars.

"Kize's psychology is of course very damaged after this war. That's why it's important to approach him cautiously. Do you understand?"

I put my hand over my rapidly beating heart. Of course I didn't understand. Even if there was a war, there could be no logic in killing someone.

"Grandma, let's find another way to talk to God, please. How can I talk to someone who has killed people!" I said, the horror I was experiencing reflected in my voice.

Grandma shook her head and stood up, stirring the boiling soup.

I couldn't face him again, and even if I did, I wouldn't talk to him. I would always think that he had killed people.

"Those people deserved to die, Een. If we hadn't killed them, they would have come and killed us all." When Grandma said that, the terror in me grew even greater. What kind of place was this! How could this have happened! Didn't they feel sad when they hurt each other?

"They killed Kize's parents and him baby brother, even before the war started. Kize was out hunting in the forest and they took the opportunity to break into his house." Grandma said and sat back in her chair. My hands felt as if they were frozen, I felt nauseous.

I realized that my eyes were watering with the pain in my heart. Killing a baby in swaddling clothes? How could this happen!

"Grandma..." I said, but I didn't know what to say so I couldn't continue. Nene looked into my eyes.

"Whatever he did was justified, how would you react if that happened to your family, Een?" I had a big headache when she asked me. I still had the tea in my hands and I couldn't even take a sip.

What would I do? How would I react if someone came and killed my family? Would I kill them! I would probably try, but I didn't think I had the strength to do it.

"I'll check on Kamer." I said and left the house, leaving the glass on the table. The cold hit my body immediately because I wasn't wearing a coat.

Kize's beautiful smile appeared in front of my eyes. That man had lost his whole family!

The ache in my heart was caused by the sadness I felt for him. I looked at my numb fingers as I entered Kamer's house. It was as if there was something else inside me besides the sadness I felt for him.

Why did what had happened to Kize feel like something I had seen before?

I shook my head from side to side and went to Kamer, who was eating dry grass. When I picked up the comb that had been placed there to comb her, she noticed me and looked up at me.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get along with animals as well as I could with plants.

After scanning Kamer for a while, I cleaned her house and put some more food in front of her. I must have spent a lot of time there because the sun was now approaching the west.

That's how long it took me to digest what I had heard. When I felt better, I left Kamer's house and returned home with calm steps.

Grandma was taking plates from the cupboard in the kitchen. We locked eyes for a short while.

"Come into the living room, the table is ready. You've been freezing outside for an hour." When she said that, I nodded and went into the living room and sat down at the table. Nene came right behind me and put the plates on the table. We quietly filled our food and started eating.

I still had a bit of a headache.

"Do you know what the union between men and women is?" Grandma broke the silence by asking. For a moment I couldn't understand what she meant, but when I did, my eyes widened.

Of course I knew what it was, we had touched on the subject a little in Mistress Seli's voices. But to be honest, I didn't know it in detail. Everyone knew that I would never experience such a thing, so they didn't pay much attention to the descriptions.

I was going to be sacrificed to God and die. Even though everyone said I wouldn't die, deep down inside they knew the truth.

I was alive though, I had arrived in the world of the gods.

"I know a little." I said as I took a spoonful of soup. Grandma shook her head from side to side.

"Men are very interested in making love with women. He will surely get close to you and try to seduce you." I felt embarrassed when she said that, it was a strange thought that Kize would touch me.

"I know that, Grandma, I won't let him get close to me." I said to drop the subject. But Grandma seemed to want to talk about it.

But to be honest, I didn't know exactly how I would react if Kize approached me since I didn't have any experience in this area. Today I froze when he kissed my hand, would I push him away if he approached me?

Oh really, was I really thinking about it! Until a few months ago I was extending my cocoon period to live a little longer. How pathetic!

"Kize can easily seduce you. I understand that, of course, you are a young girl." I closed my eyes with a sigh, always uncomfortable talking about such embarrassing things.

"Don't sigh, listen to me. Kize is a hunter and you will be a difficult prey. Do you hear me." When she said that, I didn't want to listen, but I knew I had to.

"Stay away from him so that he will chase you, remember that the women of God are all around that man.You have to make him chase you so that your communication lasts longer. You are talking to him to get into the presence of God. After you meet God, you can do whatever you want." She said, looking into my eyes. I nodded, what can I say!

Of course what she said was true, I was dealing with Kize so that I could go to God.

"But Grandma..." I said and put a wicked smile on my face. She looked up from her plate and gave me a dirty look.

"Girl, you know so much about these things. You are so badass, girl." I said, nudging her shoulder. I was about to spill the soup on her spoon. When she raised his cane and I got up from the table and ran towards my room.

"Naughty." She grumbled behind me.

And where was I supposed to meet Kize again? I wasn't going to go to the forest every day to get water, was I?