BUTTERFLY

STONES MELTING AT THE FIRST TOUCH

If fortune is a bird, its wings are burnt, it can no longer fly.

Kize took my hand as we stepped outside. I couldn't help smiling as his fingers wrapped around mine. I watched the city as we walked calmly, the ice hanging from the roofs of the buildings melting and water dripping onto the sidewalks. I noticed the warning signs on top of each building: "It is dangerous to walk under the eaves!". I guess this warning was written to prevent ice from falling on people. When I met the puzzled looks of a few people, I turned to look at Kize, but Kize was walking as if nothing was happening. People passing by first looked at Kize and then were surprised to see me. Of course it was normal for everyone to recognize him, he was the right hand of God. And now I understood better why Kize found it strange that I didn't recognize him when we first met.

"Corn or coffee?" I tore my eyes away from the people and looked at Kize, thinking of the bitter coffee he had offered me at his house. "You can have coffee with milk." He said, as I grimaced thinking about that coffee.

"I choose coffee with milk then." When I said that, we walked towards a small coffee shop on the sidewalk. The faint smell of coffee caressed my nose as we approached the coffee shop. The coffee shop owner smiled and greeted Kize and was surprised to see our hands holding hands. But he quickly hid his surprise and greeted me too. But was people surprised that the right hand of God and a commoner were holding hands or that Kize was holding hands with someone?

After getting our coffee in cardboard cups, we continued walking. We couldn't hold hands because I had the coat in one hand and the coffee in the other. After walking for a while, I decided to put on my coat so I could hold his hand. I handed the coffee to Kize and quickly put my coat on.

"Are you cold?" he said as I took the coffee back from him. I shrugged, "No, but I didn't want to carry it in my hand." I said and took a small sip of the coffee.

A mischievous smile appeared on his face. He put his hand on my waist and pulled my body closer to his. I raised my hand to avoid spilling the coffee.

"I guess you like holding hands?" I smiled and hit him on the shoulder with the back of my hand. "Mr. Kize, it's an honor to hold your hand," I said sarcastically. I was embarrassed that he was so close to me in the middle of the city, among so many people. He let go of my waist and took my hand and placed a small kiss on my fingers. "Whatever this woman wants will happen today," he said, and we continued walking. Our path led to a familiar place. I looked at the pool in the middle of the square, which was not frozen despite the cold weather. The fountain was spraying the water of the pool into the air.

I heard the sound of laughter and looked in the direction it came from. Those soldiers were sitting in the same place again, chatting. There were some women among them. When they saw us, they fell silent and one of them raised his hand and called out to Kize. When Kize turned towards them and I was about to let go of his hand and stop, he grabbed my hand tighter and took me with him. Even though I didn't want to be in the same environment with those men, Kize wanted me to stay with him.

When we reached the soldiers, Kize let go of my hand and they saluted. Although I was careful not to look at them, I couldn't avoid the glares they gave me. When we locked eyes with one of the women, she frowned and narrowed her eyes. "Who are you?" she said in a surly manner. Before I had a chance to answer, she turned and looked at Kize. "What is this about?" She said with the same attitude. I noticed that Kize was squinting and he reached out and took my hand in a gentle manner. His eyes were focused on that woman.

"Don't look at me like that Kize, what are you doing with this girl?" she said frowning. Kize's jaw twitched. "I hope you haven't forgotten your oath." She continued, and Kize took a step forward, leaving me behind.

"Beera is none of your business, she is with him." Said one of the men. Beera shook her head angrily. "Is it? Let's ask her then." She stood up, her angry but at the same time agitated demeanor reflected in her movements. She held out her hand towards me. "Are you willingly standing next to this man?" she said. I took a step back involuntarily, did I look like I was being held against my will? "Yes, why?" I said. Kize squeezed my fingers in his hand a little. I thought I'd said the wrong thing and looked at Kize's twitching chin. I was inwardly startled. Was I wrong to ask why?

Beera frowned and took a step towards me, extending her hand a little further. It was as if she was waiting for a sign from me. "You don't need to be afraid, if he's holding you against your will, just say so. He can't hurt you while we are here." She said, her voice softened as if she wanted to reassure me. But I couldn't understand why she spoke like that. I frowned involuntarily.

"I am here of my own free will, I have no reason to be afraid, ma'am. I don't understand why you are saying these things." I said and out of the corner of my eye I looked at Kize again to gauge his reaction. His jaw was twitching slightly, he seemed to be clenching his teeth and looking only at Beera. Of course I didn't want to make Kize look bad in front of them. Even though I wanted to know why she was asking, I didn't want to humiliate or offend him by asking.

The woman looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Just as she opened her mouth to speak again, Kize intervened. "Beera, sit down." He said, his voice was calm, but it gave me goosebumps. Beera looked at Kize and then back at me and sat back down in the chair she had gotten up from.

I swallowed, what exactly was happening right now?

A wave of darkness spread from Kize. A darkness invisible to the eye but completely blinding. At that moment there was total silence. There were only a few people passing by on the street, but their voices did not reach my ears. The energy that engulfed us all took my breath away, I could only see Kize and Beera, everything else was a shadow. I was frozen to my toes.

I took a deep breath and blinked my eyes a few times, it was as if I had lost the ability to move, I could only move my facial expressions. "Calm down please Kize, we are all surprised. You understand that this is not a common situation." said a man, and with his voice my senses slowly started to return. I shivered to my bones, but I was trying my best not to show it, even though I wanted to ask Beera why she said that and to find out more about Kize, but it wouldn't have been the right thing to do.

And in the end, what about the possibility of something bad happening to me because I kept quiet so he wouldn't be put in a difficult position?

I looked at Kize's hand holding mine tightly. Even though it hurt a little, I felt like if I opened my mouth, there would be a riot. But I had to get out of this situation, I had to get Kize away from here. It was as if a brawl would break out at any moment.

"What tension." Hearing a familiar voice, I turned and looked at Irine who was coming towards us. As soon as I noticed the red eyed man right behind her, I turned around. When I realized I was holding my breath, I took a deep breath and tried to relax. My lungs ached.

It was true that sometimes I got a bad energy from Kize. Especially when he was angry, like now, I wanted to run away without looking back. This energy made me feel like I was dying, like I was dead.

But the red eyed man who came up to us now was disturbing. It was like... I felt like I was looking at the devil.

Irine came softly to Kize and put her hand on his shoulder. "Is something wrong?" she said, patting his shoulder. Out of the corner of her eye she gave me a condescending look. To be honest, I didn't like that she could touch Kize so easily.

"Kize, take your girl home, brother, and we'll talk when you come back." When one of the men said that, I felt that someone was right behind me, but I was so nervous that I couldn't turn around. It sounded like my bones were creaking in my ears. I could hear the wind howling but there was no wind around.

When Kize suddenly turned to me, I was startled and took a step back. Since I had just bumped into the person behind me, Kize pulled me by the hand and took me with him. I stumbled but managed to stay standing. I looked up and saw Kize's eyes, not bright. That colorful yellow was now dull and still. I felt goosebumps. I felt a slight nausea in my stomach, like I wasn't looking into Kize's eyes but into the eyes of a dead person.

When we started walking, I looked at Beera out of the corner of my eye. She looked away. Then, when I looked at the person standing behind me whom I had just bumped into, I realized it was the man with the red eyes. He raised one eyebrow as we locked eyes. I frowned involuntarily and turned away. I definitely did not want to meet this man in any way. He was a bad person, I could feel it. But... What about Kize?

I heard a few sentences like "Why are you interfering, do you want to die?" as we were walking away. I couldn't feel my hand that Kize was holding, I think it was gone. He was holding me so tightly that my hand was numb.

"Kize." I said as we were walking fast, I should say he was dragging me. But even though I called out to him, he kept walking without reacting. It was as if he forgot I existed. I wanted to make him notice me, but to tell the truth, I couldn't because he scared me too much.

When I tripped, I found it difficult to stand up and keep walking. If I fell on the ground, he would definitely drag me. I stumbled and he pulled my arm and it hurt. "Kize." I said, louder this time. When he stopped suddenly, I hit my head on his shoulder because I didn't expect it. I staggered back a step, involuntarily. It hurt because I hit my nose on his shoulder, I put my hand on my nose and closed my eyes in pain. Even though my eyes were tearing, I opened my eyes immediately because Kize was silent. I wondered what he was doing or how he was looking.

When I saw his eyes staring straight at me, I involuntarily took a step back. My legs were shaking and I couldn't stop it. I looked into his eyes for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. "My hand." My voice sounded like a cat meowing. Kize lowered his eyes and looked at the hand he was holding, no facial expression was moving and his eyes were frighteningly dull. He said nothing but loosened his grip. When he looked into my eyes again, he seemed calmer.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, and I nodded, even though I was scared. When he took a deep breath and let go of my hand, I expected him to turn around and walk away, but he put his arm around my shoulder and we started walking. This time he wasn't dragging me, we were walking calmly. I looked at his face out of the corner of my eye, his jaw was tightening and I could tell he was still nervous. There were things I wanted to ask him, of course, but now was not a good time. As Grandma said, I had to be careful around him, and I would ask him about it after he calmed down.

We reached the car quickly because we walked like we were running the length of the road. As I put on my seat belt, I watched Kize quietly start the car. Before the car started moving, he turned to look at me. The dullness in his eyes seemed to be slowly disappearing, but he still had an energy that gave me goosebumps. I swallowed involuntarily, my heart beating too fast. I never imagined that this man, with whom I could laugh and be comfortable, could scare me this much.

I averted my eyes and moved my fingers, which were hurting from Kize's too tight grip, without showing it. My bones hurt. Looking a little closer, I could see that my flesh was bruised and reddened. When Kize gently took my hand, I raised my eyes and looked at him. His brow was furrowed as he checked my hand. I realized his jaw was tightening again. "I'm fine, you don't need to be angry." I said, trying to smile. Without looking at me, he let go of my hand and started driving. I watched him drive in silence for a while, nervous that he was driving a little too fast.

"Seriously Kize, please don't get so angry." When I said that, he exhaled sharply through his nose and suddenly pulled the car to the side of the road. I stiffened as the car jerked to a stop, not sure if the high pitched sound came from the tires or if I had screamed. It was only when the car turned and Kize looked at me that I realized that I had reached out and grabbed Kize's arm because of the sudden jolt. I quickly pulled my hand back as if I had put it on fire. Was it right to be afraid of him?

For a short while he just watched my movements. I must have been sweating because I hadn't taken off my coat. "Come." I frowned when he said, I couldn't understand where exactly he was calling me. Was he going out? "Where?" I said, puzzled. Because he hadn't made any move to go out.

He pushed his seat back and quickly reached over and unbuckled my seat belt. As he lifted me up by the waist, my head hit the roof of the car gently, and then I found myself sitting on Kize's legs. I leaned my back against the steering wheel and looked at his face in surprise. I guess he was moving too fast for me to react and I froze.

Kize tilted his head to the side, took a lock of my hair and sniffed it. Then he grabbed the lapels of my coat and pulled it off in a rough manner. "What?" I stammered. He was being rude, as if his gentle personality had vanished. He put one hand around my waist and grabbed the back of my neck with the other and I wanted to push him away and run away. I put my hands on his chest but I didn't have the strength to push him away. Because he hadn't moved in any way. He looked briefly at my hands pushing him from his chest.

"Did what Beera said scare you?" he said, my knees shaking violently. "No." I said, my voice sounding so weak that for a moment I thought I was lying, but it certainly wasn't what Beera said that scared me. "Then why do you look like you're going to cry right now?" I stopped pushing him away and grabbed his shirt with shaking hands. "Because you're scaring me." I said, unable to raise my voice.

Kize closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I could tell he was trying to calm down. Or it could be that my fear of him caused his anger to rise. "Do you plan to get away from me for this?" He opened his eyes. I squeezed the T-shirt in the palm of my hand. "No, I'm not planning to get away from you because you're angry. After all, everyone gets angry, it's what you do when you get angry that matters." I said, but I doubted whether it was my own voice. It sounded like a whisper and it was shaking. But I always thought I was so good at talking that no one could drown it out.

He squeezed the hand on my waist. When his eyes shifted to my lips, I was tempted to pull back, but I couldn't move because he was holding my neck. "I'll let you hit me later." He said and reached up and kissed my lips. My legs tightened as he took both my lips in his mouth and sucked on them in a rough manner. He slid his hand from my waist and stroked my still trembling leg. I was surprised when he took his mouth away from mine and pulled back. He looked briefly into my eyes. "Do you want me to let you go?" he asked, his voice hoarse. I reluctantly licked my wet bottom lip, I'd just had my first kiss, when I least expected it. And from a man who was angry enough to hurt me. Even though it was absurd, the part of me that wanted him to kiss me again was dancing inside me. My body, which had been tense with fear a moment ago, was now tense with excitement. I didn't know how my emotions had changed in a single gesture, but I certainly wasn't complaining.

When a slight smile formed on his face, I realized that I hadn't answered his question for a while. "You froze like a rabbit in headlights." He said sarcastically. "Do you want me to let you go, yes or no?" he continued and I could feel my face flushing. I didn't want him to let me go, I wanted him to kiss me again but I didn't have the courage to say it so I just shrugged. His smile widened and he reached up and kissed me on the lips again. He was more gentle this time, but it was like he was trying to be gentle.

When he took my upper lip into his mouth and sucked on it, I closed my eyes tightly and sucked on his lip as he did. I shouldn't have done it, I should have run after him, tied him to me and then gone to God, but I couldn't help myself.

When I put my hands on his shoulders, he pulled back slightly. I opened my eyes and looked into his yellow eyes that had returned to normal. He took a deep breath and put his face to my neck. Immediately after, he exhaled through his nose. His breath caressing my body through my blouse caused all my muscles to tense. My muscles tensed because of the pain between my legs. He murmured as he sniffed my neck. "My nerves are like cotton right now." I was out of breath, though his breaths were fast too.