Love Me On Thin Ice

Our First Encounter

Lily's Pov

I should have hid under the bench I sat on the moment I heard his footsteps towards me. Maybe that would have been the most stupid thing to do anyways. But no!, my body never listened when I needed it to.

My gaze was still fixed on the figure that appeared. Jaxon Ryder stood at the end of the hallway like he had always belonged there, even like he owned it.

My fingers tightened around the edge of my notebook before I even realised I was doing it. This was so stupid, I wasn't even supposed to still stay there at the first place, not after what I just overhead, not after accidentally becoming the worst possible version of myself– a girl hiding in a corner eavesdropping on breakups she had no business hearing.

His eyes landed on me first, he kept staring at me, long enough for my throat to tighten, long enough for me to become painfully aware of myself at once.

The way my oversized hoodie hung around my body, the way my backpack dug into my shoulders like I had been carrying it too long. And the worst part!.....how I stood completely still like taking a step would worsen things.

I shifted my weight slightly which I regretted immediately. Even though he didn’t move, the way his eyebrow climbed higher made me doubt if it was better or worse.

I know people usually looked at me in predictable ways– just a quick glance, then decided whatever they felt like saying, which followed with a laugh and then moved their ass like I was just a background noise.

But Jaxon wasn’t doing that, he was looking like I was something he hadn't even prepared for, just like he didn't even imagine seeing someone like me.

And that was far more embarrassing than it should. My pulse kicked up, say something!, anything!. Afterall I'm already used to moments like this.

“You were listening.” His voice cut through the silence, it wasn't loud and he was sure of what he was saying.

My stomach twisted so hard, “I–I–” my voice came out weaker than I wanted. I cleared my throat and tried again “I wasn't trying to”

“That’s not an answer” his eyes didn't move away, his eyebrow only moved higher.

“I was here first,” I said quietly.

His gaze flickered slightly, not surprised nor impressed, just assessing, like the answer didn't matter.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said.

Yh…… Of course it didn’t matter, Why would it? People like me do not usually get to have “it matters”.

My grip tightened on the notebook in my hands, I needed to hide my trembling fingers.

“I didn't hear anything important,” I added quickly. I myself knew that was a terrible lie or maybe we both knew it.

His jaw tightened slightly at that, if the rumors about him were something to go by, he wouldn't be exchanging words with me here. He probably would have ignored me and went his way.

He stepped forward slightly, almost taking up the space left between us.

“This area isn’t for students,” he said.

My brows pulled together before I could stop them.

“It's literally under the arena,” I said. “There's no sign, no—”

“Move” he said.

He didn't need a stone to hit me, those words hit me way harder than they would have. My mouth closed slowly, the air between us felt heavier.

I had dealt with being ignored before, being brushed off, walked past like I wasn't worth pausing for, but this was different, it was an instruction. Like I was something in the way of his day that needed to be removed.

My grip tightened on the notebook again, I should leave….yh, I should leave. That is what people like me did in moments like this. Just leave, no reason to argue.

But something stubborn flickered inside me, maybe It was the way he said it. Like I had no right to be here.

I opened my mouth before I could stop myself.

“I didn't know I wasn't allowed here.” my voice came quieter than I wanted. I hated how easily it shrank when I needed it to stand.

For a second, he didn’t respond, he just kept looking at me. Like, was he judging me? Was he comparing me to every girl he usually surrounded himself with?

It made my skin feel too warm, the kind of reaction you get when someone stares at you, not even blinking. The longer he stared, the smaller I felt.

“You're still here,” he said finally.

It wasn't a question, it wasn't even a warning, it was just a fact and it made my throat dry enough to hurt.

I looked down at my shoes, at least that was better than looking up to him.

“I didn't mean to cause trouble,” I said, which silence followed.

I could still feel his eyes heavy on me, it made my skin itch in a way I did not like. Then I forced myself to do something I rarely did, I don't think I have done that before.

I looked up straight into his eyes, I knew I was doing more than myself, I could feel sweat running down my face.

My chest tightened as soon as I met his eyes, because for a second I saw something else in his eyes. Not softness. Not kindness. Not anything that was easier.

Something flickered across his face, his jaw locked, his shoulders went rigid. Whatever it was, he buried it immediately.

The next second, it was gone, covered again and controlled. But I caught a glimpse of it already.

“I didn't know you were the type to hide in places like this,” I said, feeling the twitch my stomach gave. The words came out sharper than intended.

His gaze sharpened slightly, he removed his hands from his pocket, his fingers almost curling into a fist. What?…..Was he gonna beat me?

For the first time, he looked away but then his gaze landed again on me. And there was it again, that controlled expression.

“You don't know what type I am,” he said

My throat went dry. I should have stopped there or maybe apologized and leave. But instead, I stood there looking straight into his eyes.

I actually noticed something in him, the confidence everyone talked about wasn't there anymore. For a second, he looked exhausted.

“Get out” he said “You are not someone I should be exchanging words with, okay?”

“I was leaving” I said at the impact of his voice. It was tough, I could feel his anger now, I knew it was time for me to leave.

“Get out already!!” he said, almost hitting me in the face, but instead he slammed it on the wall beside me. His face was red now, I could see them clearly.

“And don't ever come down here again, people like you don't belong here” he added.

That was hell!, his words hit like a slap on the cheek, my entire body vibrated and my breath was uneven.

I didn't wait for him to say it again before I grabbed my backpack and turned toward the stairs, refusing to let him see how much his words had stung.

“Don't come back here!--don't come–” he said behind me, I didn’t know if he was crying or something else. His tone was like he was about to break down.

So would you still advise me to check that?NO….I dare not do that!

I clenched my jaw and kept walking, I was only halfway when I heard a loud crash echoed through the hallway

I froze, I couldn’t overcome the temptation to look back, Jaxon was standing against the wall, his fist pressed against the walls, the concrete around it had cracked

Then he laughed, a short bitter sound that didn't seem good, his head buried to the ground. His back was rising up and down as he was breathing heavily.

It wasn't the hole that made my stomach twist, but the way he reacted all along. It wasn't pride, not anger. It looked almost defeated.

I didn't wait for an answer, I don't know if he was already going nuts, I still had something to do with myself.

I ran my ass down the hallway. But all the way home, one question refused to leave me alone.

What exactly was Jaxon Ryder so angry at? Why did he feel so frustrated?