Forever His & His Ghost

Chapter 23: The Lodge

I couldn't believe I was still writing this book about my life. One day till Christmas and a little over a week before I was due in New York to speak to my editor about publishing it. I hadn't even got to the good parts yet and felt like it was taking forever. A part of me wanted to rewrite my own story and save myself from reliving the turning point in my life to bring me to where I am today. Lost to my family, lost to the old friends I had, lost to those that were there all along the way, just lost, and now putting myself through this to what, feel nostalgic, to show my life wasn't easy, to expose myself and potentially put another target on my head. No, I have to do this, I had to get my life back and this was step one.

      "Hey darling, you ready?" Nick asked knocking on my door as he stepped in the bedroom, where I was sitting at my desk just starring at the computer.

      "Yep," I said turning the computer off and grabbing my jacket.

      Nick and I had gotten close since Halloween, he was like Marie, I felt like I could tell him about anything, well almost anything, I still had not told him my darkest secret. I wasn't sure I would ever do that. For now, I was Lexi, and Lexi's life seemed to be the typical mid twenty-year-old girls' life. Well, almost.

      Nick finally confessed he wasn't just a season worker; he had actually invested in the farm next to me and was turning it into a dude ranch for city folk that wanted to experience life as a rancher. I thought he was joking at first until he showed me the blueprints of his plan, and then we had ridden the ranch while he explained where he was going to put everything. I even allowed him to hire Marko to run his barn, I hated sharing my trusty farmhand, but Nick promised to not over work him, and for me allowing him to hire Marko he even paid him for doing my work at my farm.

      The drive to Nick's lodge was silent, comfortable, but silent. Nick seemed to be under a lot of stress with this party he was fixing to throw for New Year's and me, well my mind was still reeling over my book, the progress, where to go from there, did I tell the truth or did I change the ending.

      I huffed in annoyance and caught Nick's attention, thank goodness we had just pulled up to the lodge and I wasted no time climbing out.

     "Hey you alright?" Nick asked, running up to catch me just as I stepped on the steps to the porch.

     "Yes," I closed my eyes. "No, but I will be." I smiled and grabbed his hand pulling him to the front door.

      The old farmhouse that was originally on the land, Nick kept it, remodeled it with some newer upgrades and that was his home, it sat about a quarter of a mile from the lodge. The lodge was his baby though, he had just put the finishing touches on it and as of New Year's it would be ready to house newcomers for their stay here. He went with an old log, rustic look, from the inside to out, it was three floors, the top floor was for the wealthiest, it had six small apartment type suits. The second floor had all the rooms, and there were even a few rooms on the first floor, each room had its own luxurious bathroom, and some had one bed or two. The first floor had everything; a common room with couches and a huge floor to ceiling rock fireplace, a game room, a library, a conference room, and his favorite was what he called the redneck ballroom. He said that it would allow for people to hold big functions with plenty of space. In the basement he put a gym, and an indoor pool, out back he put a huge in ground pool with plenty of room to accommodate everyone around the pool side. I think he thought of everything, he wanted people to feel convenience, at home, he wanted them to want to return year after year and tell all their friends.

      "This looks amazing." I squealed as we walked back into the common area, and I took a seat on one of the couches next to the fireplace. "And I see everything is decorated for the season. And glad you took my advice on the bar. I am sure it will make Billy glad."

      That was one of the things I had to stop his thinking on when he was designing this. He wanted to put a bar in, and I told him he better think about the town he is living in. They have a bar, everyone loves Billy and if he put a bar in here, he might make some enemies. I even hooked him and Billy up to talk about it, and they came to a solution, Nick would recommend Billy's bar to all his patrons, and when there were bigger events to be held than Billy's bar could accommodate, Billy would set up at the lodge and bar tend.

      "I did, I am glad you thought of it. I would never do anything to hurt the people of this town." Nick was sincere in his thanks; I could hear it in his voice.

     "Okay, so everything looks perfect, the set up in the ballroom is perfect for the party. So, what more do you want from me?" I quirked a brow. He had a soft grand opening party planned New Year's Eve. He had invited several investor's that were looking to invest as well as the silent partners he had. He also had them invite all their wealthy friends and families. He was giving them all an excellent discount to stay here for the week and experience it firsthand.

      He leaned forward, placing his head in his hands and roughed his hair up a bit before looking at me, "Well I was wondering if you had a cocktail dress?"

     My heart sunk, I disappeared, I didn't want to mingle with all those people, was all I could think to myself before I decided to respond. "You got this Nick, I don't want to really intrude on your business deal. And besides I like being a nobody." I laughed but stopped when I realized he was being serious, and didn't look like he was going to take no for an answer.

      "Look, I am going to get straight to the point darling." That was his nickname for me, and even though I knew there was nothing between us, it was a nice sentiment. "I have some big wigs coming to this that I really need to make nice with. You know there is more I want to do with this ranch, like the cabins at the foot of the mountains, and the arena's out by the barn. I really need some more investors, and I have a marketing CEO coming that is going to look and see if he wants to take the advertising on for this place. So, I need you, I need my friend by my side. Plus, it will put a light on my side so people will stop spreading rumors until I am ready to tell my secret."

      I shifted my eyes to the crackling fire in the dark hole of the huge fireplace. I don't think I can do that, what if? I shook my head, "Will there be any media at his event?"

      He shook his head, "No, I have already scheduled a weekend just for them, where they can come out and get the experience for themselves. This is by invitation only, and only potential investors and their families."

      I huffed and crossed my arms like a teenager, and he laughed causing my smile to spread from ear to ear. "Fine, I will be your plus one."

      "That's my girl." He laughed, causing me to laugh and soon enough the entire lodge was filled with nothing but the sounds of our laughter floating through the halls. After a few minutes we gathered ourselves and sat there staring at the fire.

      He cleared his throat and caused me to glance at him. "So, Amy told me you were having a hard time with your book?" I just nodded, I had told him I was writing a book but that was it, I had not gone into detail. "So, what's the problem?"

     "The content," he furrowed his brows at my answer, I figured I could probably explain a little better if I chose my words carefully. "Okay so it's a biography in a sense, but it's in novel form. Anyway, my life isn't that full, the parts where my heart was open and full were like any others and the parts where my heart laid in a million pieces, even if I didn't get there in the way others did, its still like others. And then my editor told me to find my happy ending, because if it's like it is now, my readers will hate it." I glanced at him, and he was just nodding, taking in every word I said, so I continued, "So I am not sure where to go from where I am right now, and I am not sure about the ending."

      "So why not end it there, or end it where you are now? If you are happy that's all that matters, don't even bother with what the readers think."

     I giggled softly, "Because silly, if I want to continue to write and be successful then I have to make sure my readers love the first thing I print in novel form in my name. Everything to this point has been under a pin name, a name that others will never know was me, but this, this is much more than that."

     "I get it." His eyes were now focused on the fireplace.

      Just go for it, I told myself. "So, where I am in my book now, things are just about to take a turn that no one sees coming. Or maybe they do, but back then I didn't, I didn't know what laid in store for me. I didn't know that my heart would never be whole again and would remain in that time still in a million pieces. But from there till now, it's not much. So, I don't know whether to tell the truth or fabricate the end and make it bigger and better than it is now." I don't know why I was rambling, but maybe it would help to have an outsider's point of view and feedback, after all Marie and Preston were there, they know.

       "Can I read it?" I froze and I am sure the look I gave him was that of a crazed person. "Before you answer, just listen." I slowly nodded. "I don't know your past, I know you have secrets, but I know you have your reasons, and if or when you ever decide to tell me I am sure everything will make perfect sense. I don't know that person from then, but in the last month and a half I have come to know this beautiful, smart, sweet girl sitting in front of me, and no matter what the past held it made you that person today. No, you may not be married, you may not have kids, you may be a thousand miles away from friends and family and that life, but who these days isn't. I love to read and will give you my opinion on the work, no judgement. Just consider me your guinea pig."

      I just slumped forward, he is right, he should read it, after all, when I publish it, the world will have access, those people will know. "Okay, when we get back to the house, I will let you read what I have so far."

      He jumped up and grabbed me in his arms running toward his truck like a kid while I laughed and tried to get free. "Put me down Nick," I squealed.

       He sat me in the passenger side and ran around jumping in quick. He started the truck and then gave me a wink. "Darling it's Christmas Eve, and you are giving me my present, I don't want to wait. Plus, a glass of wine, and those Kodiak chairs outback of your house with the fire pit is calling our names."

      I just laughed and slapped his shoulder. "Alright, come on."

      Three hours, two bottles of wine, and a rick of firewood later, Marie, Preston and I sat silently around Nick on the patio as he laid the rough draft to my book down and stared blankly into the pit of the fire. Marie was tapping her foot, Preston was biting his nails, and I don't think I was breathing, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

       He finally cleared his throat, "So these characters are actually you guys, and you changed the names so when people read the book, they don't know it's you?" Out of everything, that's all he got, I need his opinion, no way could I tell him just yet that those were our real names, instead I stayed silent and nodded my head. "It's good. When I first started reading it, I thought teeny bopper, but once it had my attention, I couldn't wait to see the end. Your editor is right, you owe it to the readers to give it the best ending. I think where you are now is perfect for you, I think that those who relate to things you went through would appreciate the ending, if it's where you are now. But..." He took a sip of his wine, "You owe it to those who will want more and read more, to spice the end up a bit. And if you have to lie a bit to get there, go for it."

      "Are you serious?" Marie squealed out, but it wasn't, I am a happy squeal, it was more of a you can't be serious, right, squeal. He nodded at her, "If you only knew." I heard her mumble under her breath.

      That didn't get past Nick's super sonic hearing though, he quirked a brow to her, "I am guessing graduation came, they separated ways, and never saw each other again. What I am saying is there has to be a little spice."

     "Dude, you have no idea." Preston said as he patted Nick's back and retreated to the house.

      Marie and Preston were going to give it all away, and I wasn't ready for the world to find out, I nervously laughed, shoving my stomach back down. "Just overlook him, you know too much wine."

      Nick stood and handed me the draft before offing his wine, "I expect to read the rest when you are done. I can't wait to see more." He winked. He grabbed his hat and keys off the table, "Ladies, Merry Christmas. I have to get going, lost to do before everyone starts rolling in here day after tomorrow."

       Marie and I watched silently as he stepped around the house and made his way down to his truck. "Are you going to tell him, or let him find out with the rest of the world?" She whispered yelled at me.

       "I think I need to tell him everything Marie. He has not given me a reason to not trust him, and I think it would be nice to have someone else's opinion who wasn't there. Someone who can give me a clear opinion without being swayed by personally witnessing everything." I kissed her on the cheek and retreated to the house.

       Yes, I think I will tell Nick everything, and soon. My gut told me it was safe, so I was going with my gut feeling this time.