What Do We Do Now?

Third

Benedict

“The girl is dead, Ben.” Arthur, my right hand man and longest friend informs me over the phone.

I wasn’t surprised. She was in bad shape when I left the dirty house.

“And the child?”

There is a long pause..

“She is fine.” He finally says.

“Bring her here.”

Sandra

I’m on my way to work recalling my night with Connor. He’s a generous lover but ever since he talked about living together everything changed for me. Even the s*x wasn’t the same. 

I have to figure out a way to break it to him gently. He hasn’t done anything wrong and for how long we’ve been doing whatever this is it was logical for him to ask about the next step. I just don’t know. As perfect as he was, Connor wasn’t breaking through any of my barriers.

My morning went by quickly with several video conferences following up on our big projects out of town. They weren’t in our area but I’ve been tasked along with other Senior Designers to do consultations for the satellite offices we recently launched in developing towns all over the country. 

It was the company’s plan to eventually put up permanent offices in promising areas for development but for now satellite offices for contractors and the occasional site visit of core team members have sufficed. 

I’ve been taking lead on more and more of these projects and so far there hasn’t been a need for me to be physically present in any of them.

“Thanks, Sandra. Really appreciate the input.” Patrick, the head of the Penshaw team and my last consult of the day, says to me as we were about to end our meeting.

“No worries. I’ll get the team to work on the changes and have Becca send the revised plans within the day. Other than that it looks like you’ve got everything under control. No need for me to fly out anytime soon.” 

Although I actually do wish there were a need to fly out. A change of pace always helps in keeping my mind off of my sinking feelings about Katrina and some alone time would hopefully make me miss Connor enough to realize that I do want to be with him.

“Yup, leave it to us. Next time we meet it’ll be for a new project.” He says bringing me back to the present.

“Thanks, Patrick. Have a great weekend.” I end the call.

I check the time and it’s well over lunch time. I was expecting Denise to barge in at any moment the whole morning but she was surprisingly silent apart from the apology text I received earlier. Apparently Sherry had told her that I showed up at the spa yesterday and she had put two and two together.

I’d call her later.

I decide to take a nice stroll through the park for my late lunch hour today. It’s a beautiful sunny day and I need to clear my head. 

I make my way to the elevator just as the doors open and a tired looking older lady carrying a heavy Manila envelope makes her way out. I think to myself she looks exactly how I feel on the inside. I smile at her then get on the now empty elevator pressing the button for the lobby.

I walk two blocks to the park and immediately feel lighter. Taking a walk through the trees and listening to the birds chirping with the city noises in the background hasn’t yet given me solutions to any of my concerns but at least it’s drowning out my nagging feelings for a bit.

My refreshed brain decides it would be a good day to play hooky. I think about my tasks for the day and rule that they can all be pushed for Monday. I leave a vague message for Becca about having to meet suppliers and not being able to get back until late then I switch off my work phone and start my weekend early. I trust them all to survive half a day without me.

I call Denise and find out that she was still holed up in a post fight bubble with Liam and I laugh at their silliness. I contemplate if I should burst that bubble by walking in on them again but ultimately decide to leave them to it. It’s not often Denise leaves me alone. I should take it as an opportunity.

I decide to have lunch at one of the outdoor cafes by the park. I have a nice smoked salmon and avocado dish with a quinoa and cranberry salad on the side. Then I think about my options for this unexpected day off and find myself absentmindedly going through my shrink’s list of things things to do to manage anxiety and just decide to roll with it and tick some things off the list.

I had already taken time off and eaten a nice meal so my next step would either be to work out or take a nap. The nap seems more appealing.

I head on home to my apartment thinking of the nice bath I’ll draw for myself and my warm bed waiting for me. The doctor is always right. Going back to my list does get my nerves sorted out. I’m feeling good just thinking about my afternoon plans.

When I wake up from my nap it is already a little past 5 in the afternoon. I turn on my work phone and see that I didn’t  receive anything urgent from the office. 

The universe is finally working in my favor. 

I decide to put on some music and make dinner. A random vegetable stir-fry with some left over chicken and a glass of wine. It was a glorious meal.

I spend the rest of my weekend in a similar fashion never leaving the comfort of my apartment happily alternating between tidying up, cooking, lounging about, and catching up on some of my shows. 

Even Connor calling to see if I wanted to get together didn’t ruin my good mood. I think maybe we are getting somewhere.

Come Monday I feel refreshed and ready to take on life once again. I put on a cream tencel button down shirt tied at the waist over a comfy tank tucked in a high waist blue straight-cut skirt with some open toed strappy heeled sandals.

It doesn’t feel like a start of the week outfit but the casualness of the look mirrors how light I feel and I love it. I put my loose curls in a high ponytail and I am ready for the real world.

As I step into the elevator heading up to the office I see the same tired looking lady carrying the same heavy envelope from last week rushing into the building. I hold the elevator doors feeling bad for her looking so stressed when the week’s just barely begun.

“Oh, bless you dear.” She said to me.

“No worries.” I answer.

“It’s not easy having to be the bearer of bad news, you know. But it’s a job that needs to be done.” She sighs.

I smile politely at her sentiments. She must be from corporate HR. Is someone getting fired today? I think about my unplanned half day off.

We get to the 17th floor and I hold the door again as she gets out. She thanks me once more and once more, I smile in return. We walk awkwardly in the same direction with her stopping at reception and me walking through the automatic doors.

Just before the doors close, I hear the receptionist say “Hi, again! Let me see if Ms. Sharpe is available this morning.”

She’s here for me! I was sure everything was going smoothly with all the projects I’m overseeing. I wonder why they sent someone. What was the bad news?

“Sandra, a Ms. Agnes Lowens is here to see you.” Becca said peeping through my door.

No use prolonging the agony.

“Thanks, Becca. Show her in.”

After 2 minutes, she shuffles in and smiles, probably recognizing me from the elevator ride. She greets me good morning and I direct her to the couch as I follow to sit across from her.

“Good morning, Ms. Lowens. Would you like some coffee?” I motion for Becca to bring us some from the pantry.

“Thank you Ms. Sharpe. I’m glad I caught you today. You may call me Agnes.”

“I’m sorry I missed you last Friday, Agnes. Please, call me Sandra.” I politely respond.

I wait until Becca comes back with the coffee and leaves again before we start whatever this is.

“How may I help you today, Agnes?” I asked.

She fumbles with her envelope taking a piece of paper out and putting it back in again. I wait for her to say something and as I’m about to ask her why she’s here once again, she finally says,

“I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you, Sandra. Katrina passed away. She died last week.”