CHAPTER 3: Say It… Or Don’t
1324 Words
Amara tried to ignore it.
She really did.
She buried herself in lectures, assignments, anything that would keep her mind from wandering back to the same place it kept returning to—
Kian.
And that girl.
And the way something inside her had twisted the moment she saw them together.
It was ridiculous.
She knew it was.
She had no reason to feel like that.
No right.
So why did it feel so real?
By the time evening came, the sky had turned a soft shade of orange fading into deep blue.
Campus felt quieter now, calmer.
Amara sat alone on one of the benches near the walkway, her notebook open in front of her, though she hadn’t written a single word in the past ten minutes.
Her thoughts were too loud.
“You’re avoiding me.”
Her heart skipped.
She didn’t need to look up to know it was him.
“I’m not,” she said, keeping her eyes on the page.
Footsteps.
Closer.
Then Kian dropped onto the bench beside her, not too close—
But close enough.
“Yes, you are,” he said.
Amara sighed softly, closing her notebook. “Can you stop saying that?”
“Then stop doing it.”
“I told you, I’m not avoiding you.”
“Then why do you keep leaving every time I show up?”
She finally turned to look at him.
“Maybe because you always show up uninvited.”
Kian frowned slightly. “That’s never been a problem before.”
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “Well, things change.”
The moment the words left her mouth—
She felt it.
That shift.
Kian’s expression changed, just slightly.
Like he caught something deeper in what she said.
“Since when?” he asked.
Amara looked away.
“Since now.”
Silence stretched between them.
Heavy.
Uncomfortable.
Different.
Kian leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees, his gaze fixed somewhere ahead.
“You’re being distant,” he said.
“And you’re being annoying,” she replied.
“That’s not new.”
“Exactly.”
Kian let out a quiet breath, running a hand through his hair.
“Amara, what’s going on?”
She didn’t answer immediately.
Because the truth?
She didn’t fully understand it herself.
But she felt it.
Strong enough to make her act like this.
Strong enough to make her uncomfortable.
“You wouldn’t get it,” she said finally.
Kian turned to her. “Try me.”
Amara hesitated.
Her fingers tightened slightly around the edge of her notebook.
“This whole… thing,” she started slowly.
“What thing?”
She let out a small, frustrated breath.
“This,” she gestured lightly between them. “Us.”
Kian stilled.
“What about us?”
Amara swallowed.
Because now that she had started—
She couldn’t stop.
“It feels different,” she said quietly.
Kian’s gaze didn’t leave her.
“Different how?”
Her heart was beating faster now.
Too fast.
“Like…” she struggled to find the right words. “Like something changed, and I don’t know when it did.”
Kian was silent for a moment.
Then—
“Nothing changed,” he said.
Amara shook her head immediately. “That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not,” she insisted, her voice rising slightly. “You’ve been acting different too.”
“How?”
“You look at me differently.”
There it was again.
The same words from before.
But this time, they didn’t feel soft.
They felt real.
Sharp.
Kian frowned. “I don’t.”
“You do.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“I’m not!” she snapped.
The silence that followed was loud.
Too loud.
A few people passed by in the distance, but neither of them paid attention.
Because right now—
It was just them.
And whatever this was between them.
Kian’s jaw tightened slightly. “So what? That’s what this is about? The way I look at you?”
“It’s not just that.”
“Then what is it?”
Amara hesitated.
Then, before she could stop herself—
“That girl.”
Kian blinked. “What girl?”
“The one from earlier,” she said, her voice quieter now but no less tense. “The one who keeps showing up looking for you.”
Realization crossed his face.
And then—
Something else.
Something unreadable.
“Seriously?” he said.
Amara immediately felt defensive. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re upset because I was talking to someone?”
“I’m not upset.”
“You just brought it up.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
Kian let out a short laugh, shaking his head slightly. “You’re jealous.”
The word hit harder than she expected.
“I’m not jealous,” she said quickly.
“Then why does it bother you?”
“It doesn’t.”
“Amara—”
“I said it doesn’t!” she snapped.
Kian went quiet.
Studying her.
And for a moment, Amara wished she could take it back.
But she couldn’t.
Because it was already out there.
Everything was.
“You don’t get to act like that,” Kian said finally, his voice lower now.
“Act like what?”
“Like you care.”
Her breath caught.
“What?”
“You don’t get to act like it matters,” he continued, his eyes locked on hers. “Not when you’ve been pretending like nothing’s changed.”
Amara stared at him.
Because that—
That hurt.
“I haven’t been pretending,” she said, her voice softer now.
“Yeah?” Kian challenged. “Then what have you been doing?”
She opened her mouth.
Then closed it.
Because she didn’t know how to say it.
How do you admit that your feelings are changing when you don’t even understand them yourself?
Kian shook his head slightly, looking away for a moment before meeting her eyes again.
“If something’s wrong, just say it,” he said.
“I am saying it.”
“No, you’re not,” he replied. “You’re dancing around it.”
Amara felt her chest tighten.
“Maybe because I don’t know what it is,” she admitted quietly.
That stopped him.
Just for a second.
“I don’t know why it feels like this,” she continued, her voice softer now. “I just know that it does.”
Kian didn’t speak.
Didn’t move.
Just watched her.
And suddenly, everything felt too real.
Too exposed.
“I don’t like it,” she added.
That seemed to hit him.
Something in his expression shifted again.
Then he let out a slow breath, leaning back slightly.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Me neither.”
Amara’s heart skipped.
“What does that mean?”
Kian looked at her.
Really looked at her.
And for a second—
It felt like he was about to say something.
Something important.
Something that would change everything.
But then—
He didn’t.
“It means we’re overthinking,” he said instead.
Amara’s expression fell slightly.
“Oh.”
And just like that—
The moment slipped.
Fell apart.
Turned into something smaller than it had been seconds ago.
“Yeah,” he added. “That’s all it is.”
Amara nodded slowly.
“Right.”
But it didn’t feel right.
Not even a little.
They sat in silence after that.
Close.
But not the same kind of close they used to be.
This felt different.
Like there was something between them now.
Something neither of them knew how to deal with.
And as Amara stared ahead, her thoughts drifting again—
One thing became painfully clear.
Nothing had changed.
That’s what they kept saying.
That’s what they kept pretending.
But deep down—
They both knew the truth.
Everything had.
- Writer
