Trials Of Thelma: Unbroken

The Rift

As I immersed myself further in my studies, the strain on my relationship with Goodwin became more apparent. My days were filled with preparations for university entrance exams, high school exams and others, leaving little time for anything else. My dad and mom, ever disciplinarians, insisted that I focus solely on my studies, forbidding me from attending the afternoon activities at church.

But I wonder why they didn't reduce my house chores or take away the part where I always opened my mother's store each morning before I go to school. I even got suspended from school because I missed a lot of my 7 AM classes (story for some other time).

Weeks turned into months, and I found myself drifting further and further from Goodwin. Our conversations became irregular, our meetings almost non-existent. I missed the warmth of his presence, the comfort of his words, but I pushed aside my longing, telling myself it was for the best.

One afternoon, as I sat in my room, buried under a mountain of textbooks, my phone buzzed with a message from Goodwin(I didn't tell you, I got a temporary phone). My heart skipped a beat as I read his words, a mix of excitement and apprehension rushing through me.

Goodwin: Hey, Thelma. I miss you. Can I come to your place later?

I hesitated, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. Part of me wanted him to come around so we could see and catch up, because I had really missed him. But another part of me knew that I couldn't because my dad could come in at any time and would kill me if he saw a boy in the house when I should be studying and not when my freedom hung in the balance.

Thelma: I'm sorry, dear. I have a lot of studying to do plus my dad comes home earlier these days. I do not want to get into trouble.

His response came almost immediately, a tinge of disappointment evident in his words.

Goodwin: Sure, I understand. Just let me know when you're free.

I sighed, my heart heavy with guilt. I hated disappointing him, but I knew that my studies had to come first. I buried myself in my books, trying to push aside the nagging feeling of unease that lingered in the back of my mind.

Months passed in a blur of exams and late-night study sessions. I barely had time to think, let alone see Goodwin. I missed him a lot, and the only time I could see him was during morning service at church, but I couldn't really chat as all our parents were around and I had to leave when they were leaving.

The day, I walked home from my final exam, a sense of relief washed over me, I was super excited and felt free. It was finally over. I had completed all my exams, and now I could finally breathe a sigh of relief, relax and hope that all my efforts would yield a positive result.

But when I returned to church, hoping to reconnect with Goodwin and pick up where we left off, I was met with disappointment. He barely spared me a glance, his attention consumed by the giggling group of girls from church that surrounded him.

I felt very jealous and hurt in my heart as I watched him laugh and flirt with them. I don't know if he was doing that intentionally to hurt me for being away due to my exams.

I tried to brush off my feelings, to convince myself that it was nothing, but it continued for weeks. He refused to pick my calls or even respond to my messages. When I tried to speak with him, he found excuses to go away. Even Justin noticed my discomfort, his concerned gaze following me wherever I went. But I couldn't bring myself to confide in him, to admit the pain that gnawed at my heart.

Then, one day, I finally found the opportunity to confront Goodwin. I searched his eyes for any sign of love, but all I found was indifference.

"Goodwin, can we talk?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He glanced at me, his expression guarded. "Sure, Thelma. What's on your mind?"

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what was to come. "I miss us," I admitted, my voice trembling. "I miss our talks, you don't pick my calls or even messages. It's like you are avoiding me... I miss you."

Goodwin's gaze softened, but there was a sadness in his eyes that I couldn't ignore. "I've been doing a lot of thinking," he began, his voice reluctant. "I feel like we're on different paths now. You're moving ahead so quickly, and... I'm not sure where I fit into your life anymore."

His words struck me like a blow to the chest. I felt my heart shattering into a million pieces, I was begging him in my head not to say the words my head knew he was going to say. "What are you saying to me?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I think it's time for us to move on," he said softly. "You're going off to university soon, and... I don't want to hold you back." Then he stood up and left.

He didn't even give me an opportunity to explain myself, he didn't even listen to what I wanted to say.

Tears pricked at my eyes at the finality of his words. Goodwin was breaking up with me, ending our relationship with a few simple words. I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me, leaving me tumbling into an endless abyss of heartache and despair.

For days, I mourned the loss of what could have been, the pain of rejection weighing heavily on my heart. I longed for someone to hold me, to tell me that everything would be okay, but I knew I couldn't confide in anyone, not even Blessing because I never told her I had a boyfriend and especially not my parents.

Eventually, I found solace in Justin, who listened to my story with a mixture of sympathy and anger. "He's not worth your tears" he said, his voice tinged with frustration. "You know I never liked him. You deserve someone who sees your worth, who cherishes you for who you are. You will find someone who's worth it, okay?"

His words brought me a measure of comfort, but the pain of Goodwin's rejection lingered like a stubborn stain that refused to fade. Especially as I had to keep seeing him in church and watch him get closer to another girl. I believe they started dating at some point.

As the days turned into weeks, I found myself withdrawing further into myself, building walls around my heart to shield myself from further pain. Thankfully, Justin was always there to make me happy, and slowly but eventually, I got over Goodwin. How did I know that? It was when whatever he did with other girls didn't bother me anymore.

I was happy again. If only I knew what was waiting ahead... but why does my life have to be very different from others?