Care Less, Cowgirl

Chapter 4

Chapter 4Annika

Leo was already seated at a small table directly in the warm sun, daintily stirring sweetener into his hibiscus tea, which he swore protected him from the high blood pressure from which everyone else in his family suffered. He smiled broadly at her as she approached and Annika tried not to frown. Maybe she could keep the hopefulness out of her voice when she talked about Sabine. Maybe she wouldn’t mention her at all.

“Get over here and sit down, girl. I want to hear all about it!”

Nope. She’d never be able to evade his questions. Leo was more persistent than a child wanting chocolates when it came to the personal details of her life.

Even though Annika tried to downplay her infatuation, she evidently wasn’t successful at hiding her feelings. Leo had known her most of her adult life, after all. He’d seen her through breakup after breakup, drying her tears and holding her hand.

“Anni, Anni, Anni…What am I going to do with you?” Leo shook his head. “How can you be such a smart woman in all other matters but be so naïve when it comes to women? What will it take for you to learn your lesson?”

“You’re supposed to be my friend, Leo. My supportive friend who is on my side, not my mother who is always disappointed in me.”

He pouted. “You know damn well I’m your friend or I wouldn’t care what you do. But have you forgotten Hanna? And Caroline, and Lena, and Margit, and Karin, and—”

“Obviously you haven’t! Enough! I get it. I’m a loser who is going to end up alone.”

Leo scooted his chair closer and gave her a hug.

“As long as there’s breath in my body you won’t be alone, sweetie. But you’re missing the point. You have so much to offer. Anyone would be lucky to be with you. So why do you always latch onto the unattainable ones who are not your type to begin with? You should be looking for someone like Tobias. My dear, wonderful Toby, stable and mature. So maybe he’s not movie star attractive, but he’s still the love of my life and he is great in—”

Annika held up her hands and turned her head to the side, cringing. “Spare me the details, please.”

The waitress arrived to take their orders and when she left, Annika leaned back in her chair. “What’s so terrible about being drawn to confident women, women who know what they want?”

“Now don’t take this personally, but the trouble is, they don’t want you back.”

“Don’t take it personally?”

“Sweetie, sweetie. You’re not listening. You are going for the wrong kind of woman. Looks aren’t everything.”

“Sabine is different. She’s strong and passionate, but still tender and considerate.”

“Now you can spare me the details.”

Annika smiled. “Don’t worry. Unlike you, I don’t kiss and tell. But seriously, I really believe this time things will be different.”

“If I had a euro for every time you’ve said that I’d be living in an Italian villa with a view of all the hunks on the beach.”

“But you don’t want hunks. You’re happy with your Toby, flaws and all.”

His face lit up. What must it be like to be so in love? Would she ever know?

Listening to Leo talk about all the things he and Toby were doing together, the fun they were having and their plans for the future, never failed to leave her feeling empty. It wasn’t that Annika was trying to have one-night stands. She wasn’t a shallow person. And she was never the one to initiate s*x. But when a woman looked at her a certain way, when a woman who could have anyone came on to her, she couldn’t resist. She felt desirable, important. Wanted. But how could she get that to last more than a day or two? What was missing? What was she lacking?

“Why the long face, darling? Am I boring you?” Leo looked genuinely aggrieved.

“Oh, Leo, you could never be boring.” His face relaxed and Annika felt guilty for always dragging him down with her problems. “I’m sorry. I think maybe I just need a change.”

“No, sweetie, I’m sorry. I haven’t given you any time to talk. So tell me all about this amazing woman. What did you say her name was? Sabine? I know a lot of Sabines. What’s her last name? Maybe I know her.”

Annika’s face flushed. What was her last name?

“Oh, great, here comes our food. I’m famished.” Annika welcomed the interruption. But as usual, Leo persisted, frowning.

“You must have done a lot of talking if you spent the entire evening with her. Where does she work?”

This time Annika frowned as she tried to remember. What had they talked about? Music…movies maybe. But anything important? Important enough for her to believe there could be something between them?

“Um, I think…no…she…”

“Okay, does she live alone? Any pets? What does she like to do? Travel? How old is she? Is her family important to her? Does she at least like art?”

“Good Lord, Leo! I wasn’t interviewing her! We talked, all right? I don’t remember everything we talked about!” If she were honest with herself, she didn’t remember anything they’d talked about, not really.

Leo’s phone dinged.

“Sorry, love. I have to run. They can’t manage for ten minutes without me, you know.” He tossed some bills on the table, enough to cover both their meals, and Annika felt even more guilty for getting irritated with him. He cared about her, that’s all. She was so fortunate to have such a wonderful guy as her friend.

“Thanks a bunch. I’ve missed you. We’ve both been so busy lately. I hope you know how much I value your opinion, and your friendship.” She gave him a hug.

“The same goes for you. What say you come over Saturday night? Tobes is making his signature Rouladen. Please?”

Leo’s face was so hopeful that Annika couldn’t bear disappointing him. “Of course. I’d be delighted. Text me a time. I’ll bring the wine.” She grimaced. “Er, rather, some dessert.”