Silent Vows

15

Why? I shoved the phone back at him. Conner typed rather than voiced his reply. Because he deserved it. “Now answer my question, Noemi.” He lifted his thumb to drift along my bottom lip, the touch lighting a fire in a much more intimate part of my body. “Has another man had his mouth on yours?” I refused to answer. I could hardly even breathe. His stare lowered to my lips, and my treacherous body listed toward his like a reed helpless against the summer breeze. That was when I realized he might just kiss me there in plain sight. It was incredibly dangerous. I had no way to gauge my father’s reaction, yet I was consumed with the need to know what it would be like to have someone so compelling and overwhelming lay claim to me. Yes, I’d been kissed by two different boys in high school, but I doubted those docile encounters would compare to the way Conner would make me feel. Just the look in his eyes promised to ensnare my senses and transport me to a place without reason. Fortunately, Conner had better control than I did. He pulled away, leaving me shamefully cold and adrift. “We’d better get back inside,” he murmured absently, the frayed edges of his voice the only sign he’d been affected at all. As I followed him back inside, it occurred to me that his ploy to speak privately with me had been nothing more than a way of defusing my father’s anger. Conner had been protecting me in his own abrasive way. I’d have to remember that the next time he irritated me, which he undoubtedly would. I hurried upstairs without looking in my father’s direction. It was a small mercy he let me go without more of a reprimand, but that was only because he had decided to wait until later when we were alone so that he could spew his venom unobserved. I’d been quietly reading in my room when I sensed his malicious presence in my doorway. “You’re just like your mother, sticking your nose into things that don’t concern you.” Dad stalked closer, lifted the delicate bell pendant necklace from my chest. I prayed he didn’t rip it clean off me, but he only sneered instead. “You may be out of this house in two weeks, but I’ll still have Sante here with me, so don’t get any stupid ideas in that head of yours.” He dropped the necklace and glared. “You forget your place again, and I won’t care who’s there to witness. I will teach you some respect.” www.ajpdf.com God, I wanted to launch my book at the back of his head as he walked out of my room. I wished just once I could stand up to him and tell him what a pathetic coward he was. To free the acidic spitefulness that burned my tongue whenever he targeted me with his egotistical narcissism. Even better, I wished I could make him pay for what he did. Teach him a lesson. Would marrying Conner lead to a lifetime of this same frustrated helplessness? My fiancé had stepped in to de-escalate the situation with my father, but that didn’t necessarily make him a good man. He was a criminal. A bully, in a way, though I didn’t feel the same sense of impending doom around him as I did with my father. In a sick way, I almost enjoyed the push and pull with him. Something about him drew me in and made me feel alive. Was I naïve to think he was different? He burned a man alive, Em. How different can he be? Ugh. What a mess. I picked up my phone, needing a distraction and remembering I’d asked Pip for information on Conner. Me: You find anything? She’d know what I meant. Pippa: Was just about to send you an email. Pippa: K, done! I opened my email and clicked on the message as soon as it appeared. Dad had access to my account, but I didn’t think he’d care about Pip sending me info on Conner. HERE’S what I could find. Up until recently, the Byrne family was headed by Jimmy, Brody, and Tully Byrne, along with help from Conner’s dad, Seamus Reid. Two weeks ago, Brody was gunned down outside one of their clubs by Albanians. Tully always had a more passive role, so now it’s mostly Jimmy running things. Rumor has it, the younger generation is starting to take over —Oran, Brody’s son, and Keir, who is Jimmy’s eldest. Conner is right there with them staking his claim. The group operates illegal gambling clubs and runs an underground fight circuit. They’ve scraped and clawed their way back to power. Not gonna lie, they sound pretty ruthless. I couldn’t find much on Conner individually. He’s in his late twenties. Only child. No police record, which seemed kind of surprising. He’s linked to www.ajpdf.com the gambling side of their operations—runs a club called Bastion. That’s about it. I HADN’T KNOWN about Conner’s uncle. Had they been close? No matter how irritating my fiancé could be, I felt bad for his family’s loss. I knew what it felt like to lose someone close. In my gut, I didn’t think he was so callous as to be unaffected by that kind of cruel turn of fate. Me: Thanks, honey. Pippa: Not sure how I feel about this. Me either, Pip. But it doesn’t change anything. Me: That’s the world we live in. Pippa: I guess. Pippa: I had just hoped after everything that’s happened, you’d find your happily ever after. Not this. My cousin was intrepid and sometimes even seemed fearless, but I knew inside she worried just like the rest of us. Instead of adding to her burden, which wouldn’t help anyone, I tried to be optimistic. Me: You never know, Pip ষ If I’d learned anything in the past year, it was that life could change in the blink of an eye. People died. Fortunes changed. I preferred having some semblance of control over my life, but if I had to rely on a little luck, so be it.