burnt

The truth

It's been almost a week, but I couldn't get it out of my head. It was like that smile made me tickle ، but I didn't want to admit what it

meant.

It was class time and I didn't know what to ask God for, whether or not our classes were the same, because I was sure that if I was in the same class with her, I would pay attention to anything but the lesson، so I just went to see her at breaks and wished our classes were separate . strange, but my whishes are usually fulfilled . Anyway, she and I weren't in the same class, but it was my rebellious eyes that occasionally looked from class to class so that they could see that smile again.

After a lot of fighting with myself, I finally got the courage to talk to her. I'd made friends over the last few weeks, but I couldn't get close to her because she was almost in a group and they wouldn't leave her alone even for a second, so somehow I got into that group and tried to get to know her, and I was fooling myself with the excuse of friendship. but deep down I knew It is something more than that.

Because of my feelings and despite the recent events, I tested myself and realized I was a lesbian, but instead of joy, there was a great sadness added to my life. A religious family and a community that has no reception for LGBT family. So, in order to make my life no more difficult than it was, I had to hide behind a pile of lies.

It was hard but I had to hide. Of my family, of someone who had just added to my life, who I was fooling myself with under the pretext of friendship, but I should not have revealed the truth that I liked her, not even to myself.