Back to Me

Rude Awakening

Just as our lips touched, I got hit in the face with a pillow. I woke up in a cold sweat with a pillow on my face. I growled, took the pillow off my face, sat up in bed, and glared at my sister standing by my bed. Before I busted out laughing and fell back onto the bed laughing hysterically, putting the pillow back on my face, I couldn't believe that had happened. I just had a spicy dream about my best friend.

Willow took the pillow from me, unsure if she should be concerned or laugh with me. " I am glad you are laughing, but something tells me you are not okay, " she said, looking down at me, amused but still worried. "Your right. I think I have officially lost my mind, I responded. However, once my laughing fit was over, my ribs and the back of my head hurt from laughing so hard; instead of the chilling empty void in my heart, I felt a warm fuzzy feeling in its place.

Willow shook her head and started walking around my room, picking up my dirty clothes and putting them in a laundry basket. I watched her for a while. The face she made when she picked up Parker's shirt before putting it in with the rest made me giggle. After a while, she broke the uncomfortable silence.

"When's the last time you picked up a paintbrush? "My body stiffened. I felt like someone had just poured ice water on my head. The warm and fuzzy feeling I was starting to feel trying to make sense of the dream I just had was gone in an instant. I threw a pillow at my annoying little sister, throwing my hands in the air as I started yelling at her. My Italian blood started to boil as my hands started flying around." My apartment is a wreck; I have not slept much. I don't think I have had a proper meal or shower in a few days, I'm working myself to death, and you ask me when was the last time I picked up a paintbrush ?" I shrieked, staring at my sister in disbelief.

Willow shrugged. " You don't have paint in your hair. Your apartment does not have the familiar smell of old Chinese food and acrylic paint. I have not seen a genuine smile from you for a while." She sat on the floor, picked up the pillow I threw at her, and hugged it. "Have you called and made up with him yet? " I rolled my eyes and got out of bed, not answering her question. "Has he called to apologize ?" she asked, standing up and handing me the pillow. "No," I said flatly as I took the pillow from her throwing it on the bed before I walked past my sister and got a bra, underwear, oversized t-shirt, and some yoga pants out of my drawer. I walked into my bathroom. Fighting back the burning tears in my eyes, I was not crying anymore. I had cried enough. He was not getting any more of my tears. I told myself as I wiped the trader tears that didn't listen off my cheek.

I did my business, washed my face, brushed my teeth, sniffed myself, and gaged ."That is ripe," I mumbled as I took off my clothes, jumped in the shower, and quickly washed my hair and body. I opened the door to find Willow waiting for me. "Is there a reason you are here?" I asked sharply. I was starting to hulk out, and Willow was too close. I stomped over to my makeup station. Enzo insisted I needed it and started digging through the drawers for my favorite scrunchy. "Dimples sent you breakfast," she said in a bored tone, picking her nails before picking up my hand and putting my favorite leopard print scrunchy in my hand, turning on her heel and walking out of my bedroom.

I quickly gathered my hair into a messy bun. Then, I went to investigate what Enzo had sent." Dimples is the definition of if he wanted to, he would." Willow stated, walking over to the island where I was opening the food containers. "What do you mean? " I asked, taking a plate from her. "He is in Italy, and we're in Manhattan," she answered c*****g her head like she answered my question. I raised my eyebrow, telling her to get to the point with my eyes ." He ordered you breakfast and had it delivered to your apartment."

I blinked at her, not understanding her point." He had me come wake you up so you could eat it while it was still hot ." her voice went up an octave, obviously getting upset that I didn't see her point " You know everyone assumes that he's gay" I felt heat surge through my body, and I threw a strawberry. It hit her right between the eyes." He's not gay," I shouted at my annoying little sister.

"I know he isn't." she grumbled, wiping the juice off her face ." You didn't let me finish. He's in love with you." She pointed at me with her fork, dramatically waving it around. "Drop it, Will. That will never happen, especially after what happened with Parker." I dropped my fork and put my face in my hands as my eyes started burning with tears again.

This time I didn't attempt to stop them. I just let them flow silently down my cheeks. ". Maybe he was drunk, and Holly took advantage of him." Willow said, putting her fork down in frustration and throwing her hands up. "You and I both know Parker doesn't get drunk, especially in public." I stated flatly still hiding in my hands like a toddler ." Maybe he was talking to his friends, and she just walked up and kissed him ." "I have never seen the people he was with before and he is supposed to be on a business trip. On the other side of the country, he didn't even tell me he was back," my voice started shaking, getting louder with each word. "Maybe" "Stop trying to defend him, OK!" I yelled, slamming my hands on the table." I have spent the past two weeks trying to get that image out of my head!"

FlashBack

I had been preparing everything for the first gallery opening in my own space. I found this new raw talent. He is outstanding, but he hasn't sold many pieces, and this is his first Galla; not many people were excited about the guy. I couldn't rely on word of mouth to advertise this gallery. I have been working with Manda for the past six years. I finally got my own space. Willow and Remy finally talked me into taking a break and going to the bar on the corner close to my space. They were having a karaoke night. We had never been there before, and they insisted we needed a night out. I haven't seen Parker in a week. He was on the other side of the country trying to find some investors. He is convinced that Nabi should be more significant than it is. I'm all for helping more people, but I am starting to miss him.

I twirled my engagement ring on my finger as we headed to the bar. The place was packed. I got a plain soda because I planned on ducking out after an hour or two and getting some more work done. Remy and Willow went onto the stage while I waited for my drink. I turned toward the stage as the music started and saw Parker from the corner of my eye. I turned to my right to be sure he was standing with two guys I had never seen before. I stepped toward him and froze as I saw when Holly walk up to Parker and kiss him. After that, I just stood there staring. I started seeing spots and could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I could not move. I could not breathe. I just stood there dumbfounded.

" Don't cry." I chanted to myself when I managed to recover from the shock of what I just saw. I had to walk past them to get out of the bar, as I walked past them. Parker pulled away, looking mad, before he saw me and grabbed my hand. I pulled my hand away and walked quickly out of the bar.

End of Flashback

Willow gently pulled my hands off my face and put her finger under my chin so she could look into my eyes. "Look, I know the root of happiness is not with a man. Having the right man helps a lot, though. I snorted and pulled away, wiping my eyes and nose with one of the napkins on the table. " When was the last time you were truly happy?" "I had happy moments with Parker," I answered her with a sigh, putting down the napkin and looking up at her when she put her hand on mine .

Willow raised both eyebrows, trying to raise one, but they both went up like always. " You know what I am talking about; that is why you answered the way you did," she said, rubbing circles into my hand with her thumb. " It was so easy with, parker, comfortable and reliable," I answered, taking a breath and letting it out slowly.

"Comfortable? How exactly was your relationship comfortable? Once the announcement was made, it was all Beaumont all the time. What you wanted got pushed over to make room for making him look good " Willow said, rolling her eyes. I just stared at her. She was not wrong. I let go of a lot of things that made me who I am to make the Beaumont's look good. I was not a background character. They started following me around, asking me questions about the family and my relationship with Parker .

Willow must not have caught on to my internal monologue because she kept going. " There is no major love story without conflict. Would you rather look back on your life and say, I was comfortable the whole time. Nothing rocked the boat. It was smooth sailing?" "Not me. I want my love to be loud, messy, and epic. I want my love to echo years after we're gone. I want people to remember our love with fondness in awe. "

Willow had stars in her eyes as she looked past me, obviously dreaming about her non-existent epic love. Maybe it's because she is only 17, but her romantic view of love was desirable and unrealistic. I stood up and put my plate on the counter without saying a word. not sure how to follow what she just said. She grabbed my arm. "You want it too." I arched my eyebrow at her before a smirk crossed my face, and I pointed at it silently, telling her that was how it was done. I gently took her hand off me, shrugging. I grabbed my purse and the bag I was taking to the hospital. " I didn't say anything, Will." failing miserably to keep the amusement out of my voice, and fought to school my face. "Your mouth didn't, but your face did," she smiled and pointed at me "you just did it again." I kissed my very observant sister on the cheek and started toward the door. "I'm taking Nonna today," I yelled to her over my shoulder, not bothering to look back as I left my apartment.

Yes, I want that, no matter how unrealistic it sounds. Who doesn't?