Chapter 9: The Distance That Shouldn’t Exist
1100 Words
Amara didn’t stop walking until the cold night air slapped her awake. Her chest felt tight, like someone had tied ropes around her ribs and kept pulling. The streetlights blurred as she blinked hard, refusing to let tears fall. She hated crying. She hated giving anyone the satisfaction of seeing her break.
Especially Zayn.
She wrapped her arms around herself, the wind brushing against her bare forearms like icy fingers. The entire walk out of his estate replayed the argument in loops inside her skull. The words she said. The words he didn’t. The look in his eyes anger, yes… but also restraint. Pain. Something that felt too close to longing.
She didn’t want to think about it.
She pushed it down and kept walking.
But the streets were quiet. Too quiet. And that familiar loneliness the one she thought she’d buried years ago crept up her spine and settled in her throat.
She hated that feeling more than anything.
Zayn watched the gate slam shut behind her, jaw locked so tight he felt pressure in his teeth. He held his breath because the moment he inhaled, he knew what would hit him:
Regret.
And he couldn’t afford regret tonight. Not when the storm inside him was already dragging everything apart.
He slid a hand into his hair, pulling hard at the strands.
Damn it, Amara…
That girl had a way of walking into his house and rearranging the air. She had a way of seeing through him even when he tried to hide behind sarcasm and cold logic. She didn’t understand boundaries. She didn’t understand danger. She didn’t understand him.
But he understood her. More than he wanted to.
And that scared the hell out of him.
He grabbed his keys a reckless, impulsive decision, something he hadn’t done in years and headed out. He wasn’t going to chase her. He told himself that. Lying to himself was easier.
He just needed to make sure she got home safely.
That’s what he kept repeating, even though a small, stubborn voice in his chest whispered:
You don’t want her gone.
Amara reached the bus stop and sat on the cold bench, tapping her foot lightly, pretending she wasn’t freezing. Her phone buzzed twice. She looked at the screen.
Zayn.
She scoffed and turned it facedown.
She didn’t want to hear whatever lecture he had lined up.
The wind howled, louder now. She pulled her knees to her chest, ignoring the way her teeth gently chattered. She’d left his house too fast, too angry, too proud to grab a jacket.
Stupid girl, she whispered to herself. Stupid, stupid
A car slowed to a stop in front of her.
Her stomach dropped.
She wasn’t afraid, not really but she wasn’t relaxed either.
The window rolled down.
Get in.
His voice.
Deep. Low. Controlled. It wrapped around her like smoke, like something she’d been trying hard not to inhale.
She didn’t move.
I’m fine, she snapped, eyes forward.
No, he said calmly. You’re shivering.
I’m not shivering.
You are.
She hated how observant he was.
Amara,he said, still too calm. Get in the car.
I already left,she muttered. You should let me go.
His jaw flexed. If something happens to you out here… I won’t forgive myself.
Something in her chest stuttered.
The sincerity in his voice wasn’t normal. It wasn’t casual. It wasn’t logical.
It felt personal.
Terrifyingly personal.
She swallowed. Hard.
Fine, she whispered, standing up quickly before she could overthink it.
She got in.
The heater blasted warm air instantly. The smell of leather and cedar drifted from the seats. She sank into it but kept her arms crossed like a small shield.
They didn’t speak for a whole minute.
Zayn finally exhaled. You always run into the night when you’re upset?
She glared at the windshield. Do you always talk to people like they’re employees who owe you a report?
He actually smiled. Barely. But it was there a soft curve at the corner of his mouth.
I don’t talk to employees like that.
And why’s that?
His eyes flicked to her.
Because I don’t care about them the way I…
He stopped himself. Bit the inside of his cheek. Looked away.
She froze.
Her heartbeat jumped, raced, pressed against her ribs like it wanted to break out.
The way you… what? she whispered.
Drop it, he said quietly. Please.
She swallowed the question. It burned, but she let it go.
He drove slowly, carefully, his eyes constantly checking the mirrors, the road, her. It was subtle but she noticed every time.
Why did you follow me? she said softly.
He didn’t answer for a moment. When he finally did, it was almost a whisper:
Because I couldn’t let you walk away like that.
She didn’t know what to do with those words.
So she tried something safer.
Do you… do you always get angry that fast?
No,he said. Only when someone hits the parts of me I keep locked.
What parts?
He inhaled slowly. Dangerous ones.
Amara turned her head fully, watching him.
Are you dangerous, Zayn?
His grip tightened on the wheel. I try very hard not to be.
That answer made goosebumps rise along her arms.
She leaned back slowly.
The silence between them wasn’t empty. It was electric, tense, full of unspoken things.
He dropped her off at her building but didn’t drive away.
She unbuckled her seatbelt, hesitating. Her hand rested on the handle.
Zayn?
He looked at her immediately.
Earlier… when you said you wouldn’t forgive yourself… did you mean it?
His voice came out low. Every word.
Something inside her softened, melting through the anger she’d been holding.
Thank you, she whispered.
He nodded, swallowing hard. “Go inside, Amara.”
But she didn’t move.
I don’t like ending nights angry,she said, her voice shaking slightly.
Neither do I.
So… are we okay?
He looked at her like he wanted to say yes but something in him wouldn’t allow it.
We’re not okay, he said. But we’re not… broken either.
She hated how cryptic he was.
Goodnight, Zayn.
He nodded once. Goodnight.
She stepped out and closed the door softly.
He waited until she entered her building… then waited again until the light in her window came on.
Only then did he exhale and drive off.
But he didn’t go home.
He drove aimlessly, letting the night swallow him whole.
The truth was simple:
He wasn’t afraid of Amara.
He was afraid of who he could become because of her.
And that that terrified him more than any secret in his past.
- Writer
