Chapter 17 – Holding It Together
709 Words
Oxford felt… easier.
Not because anything had changed.
Not really.
But because Nia could function again.
She attended lectures.
Answered questions.
Submitted perfect work.
A+.
Every time.
To everyone else—
She was exactly who she had always been.
Composed.
Brilliant.
Untouchable.
No one saw the difference.
Because she didn’t let them.
And when the pressure built—
She knew what to do.
One pill.
And the noise disappeared.
Just like that.
No hesitation.
No delay.
Clean silence.
“You’re back to normal,” one of her professors said once.
Nia gave a small, polite smile.
If only you knew.
Summer came faster than expected.
And with it—
Home.
The house hadn’t changed.
Still quiet.
Still too big.
But something else had.
The pills didn’t feel the same.
At first, she ignored it.
Told herself it was nothing.
Then—
It stopped lasting.
Then—
It barely worked.
And then—
Nothing.
Nia sat in her room, her fingers tightening around the small container.
“No…” she muttered.
She took another.
Waited.
Silence didn’t come.
Her breathing shifted.
Faster.
Uneven.
“Why is it not working…” she whispered.
The noise crept back in.
Slow.
Familiar.
And just like that—
Everything she had been holding back—
Returned.
Marcus noticed again.
He always did.
This time—
It wasn’t the calm that worried him.
It was the cracks.
Small things.
Irritation.
Distance.
A tension that hadn’t been there before.
That evening, he found her in the living room.
“You good?” he asked.
Nia didn’t look at him.
“I’m fine.”
He didn’t buy it.
Not anymore.
Marcus leaned against the doorway, watching her carefully.
“Are you into drugs?”
The question landed harder than he intended.
Nia froze.
Just for a second.
Then—
She turned, her expression calm.
“No.”
Too quick.
Too clean.
Marcus held her gaze.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
Another lie.
But this one—
He felt it.
Still—
He didn’t push.
Not then.
“Alright,” he said finally.
But his tone had changed.
Because now—
He knew.
Or at least—
He was starting to.
That night, Marcus sat in his living room, quieter than usual.
His wife noticed immediately.
Elena.
She set her book aside, watching him carefully.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Marcus exhaled slowly, leaning back.
“It’s Nia.”
Elena’s expression softened slightly.
“What about her?”
He hesitated.
Then—
“I think she’s into something,” he said. “Something serious.”
Elena didn’t react right away.
“Drugs?” she asked gently.
Marcus nodded once.
Silence settled between them.
“She denied it,” he added. “But… it didn’t feel right.”
Elena studied him for a moment.
“And what are you going to do?” she asked.
Marcus let out a quiet breath.
“I don’t know.”
That was the truth.
For the first time—
He didn’t know how to fix it.
Elena leaned forward slightly, her voice calm but firm.
“You don’t step back.”
Marcus glanced at her.
“You don’t avoid her,” she continued. “Not now.”
He frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”
“She’s sinking,” Elena said quietly. “And if you pull away, she sinks faster.”
That hit.
Marcus looked down briefly, thinking.
“She needs you,” Elena added. “Both of you. You and Ryan.”
“She won’t listen,” Marcus muttered.
“Maybe not,” Elena said. “But that doesn’t mean you stop showing up.”
Silence.
Then—
“You stay close,” she finished. “Even when she pushes you away.”
Marcus leaned back, staring ahead.
Because deep down—
He knew she was right.
Across the city—
Nia sat alone in her room.
The container lay open beside her.
Empty.
Her hands rested against her head, her breathing uneven again.
The quiet was gone.
And this time—
She didn’t have anything left to bring it back.
You don’t belong.
Her eyes shut tightly.
“Just stop…” she whispered.
But it didn’t.
And now—
There was nothing left to hide behind.
- Writer
