Write on me

Chapter 26| I thought we were on the same page

DANE POV

I ran my fingers briefly over the scars in my neck and even though they were a few years old, it was like I could feel how they had felt just after I got stitched up.

I had never planned to tell Meredith about where I got my scars from but I knew she had questions about my mother that she wouldn’t ask so it seemed like the better thing to speak about.

I hated that I flinched when she touched them because I wasn’t sensitive to it, that had just been the first time that anyone had ever touched those scars.

I always made it clear I didn’t like to be touched but while I had tried to be harsh to her or meant to, it hardly ever came out that way unless I was really angry and couldn’t control it.

I threw over my white t-shirt and made my way down the stairs and slowly entered the kitchen where they were probably having breakfast.

“Where are you off to so early?” I heard the wife of my uncle but didn’t bother answering as I grabbed my motorcycle keys and slipped on my leather jacket.

“You know, you’re only making it harder for yourself by giving us the silent treatment.” My uncle’s voice was heard and I saw him in the corner of my eye as he moved down the staircase.

I remained quiet as I searched for my sunglasses that I had tossed on the counter the day before.

I hadn’t been in the best mood lately because Meredith was acting weird, it wasn’t out of character for her to be awkward or hesitant around me, depending on what we were doing. But ever since I left the bookstore she hadn’t been the same and I didn’t know what had happened.

I thought we had been joking around but maybe she had lied to me about not going to the party and felt bad about it. I wouldn’t be happy if she had gone but it wasn’t like I had a say, I was just her friend.

She had been making excuses whenever I waited for her or tried to hang with her during break.I had made a point of not having any jobs for the rest of the week so I could come to school but that didn’t seem to matter.

Maybe it was her boss that said something that got to her. As soon as he walked in I knew I was unwanted, but I never held a grudge because I understood. One day they would see me at his store, the next it could have been a target, it was why I always took Meredith to places where I knew we wouldn’t be seen.

“You are welcome to drive over with me instead of stealing the attention with that motorcycle of yours” He spoke as he drank his coffee.

“Where’s my sunglasses?” I questioned with a sharp tone because I wasn’t in the mood for him.

He was better off with the silent treatment because I had a lot to say to him after what he had pulled with Meredith.

“Oh, I put them in the cabinet above the refrigerator” I heard Lucille's voice and moved towards it. “Are you going to school on a Saturday as well?”

“Yeah.” I answered.

While I tried to mess with her, so she could complain to my uncle, there was nothing wrong with her really. She just hated the s**t I had gotten myself involved in, but she had to blame her husband for that, not me.

“It’s the soccer finals today. He is going to show his support for dear Meredith” Amusement filled his voice and I felt my jaw clench while my back was turned to them and I grabbed my sunglasses from the shelf.

“The one that visited while he was grounded. She seems sweet” Her voice was sincere while she hadn’t caught the tone of his.

“Much too sweet for him...” He tutted while I heard a subtle gasp from his wife because of his words.

“And you just loved letting her know that, didn’t you?” I turned and glared at him while she glanced between us.

I tried not to bring it up because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of having an indication of what she meant to me.

But he had brought her up first instead of letting me leave quietly like I had planned to.

“I assume that she told you about our talk” He sighed and was visibly slightly annoyed, did he really think she wouldn’t have told me?

I had wanted to wait for her outside his office as soon as I saw her enter it but instead I just went to detention and decided to trust her.

“What talk?” Lucille question and she obviously hadn’t known about it.

“Talk” I scoffed before he could answer her. “More like you trying to turn her against me and sharing s**t, that you had absolutely no right to, with her”

He set his cup down, “She has a right to know who she has let into her life. Maybe years ago you would have been decent enough to be with her, but you are not the boy I knew then. I don’t know what tricks you have pulled to get her to like you this time around when everyone in this town sees you exactly for what you have become!”

“Don’t say that, Ed!”

“No, let him say whatever he feels like because we all know he means it. Please tell me what I am when the last time you saw me when I was 12 seems to be your favourite f**king version of me” I wavered and leaned against the counter as my eyes focused on him.

The fact that my grey eyes burned into people had always just been a bonus for me to ice people out but when I stared at him I hoped he saw how cold they were because for him, I felt nothing but anger and hatred.

“That boy still had some light in him. He was kind, loving and wouldn’t even have thought to tattoo almost every inch of his body or be so disrespectful when we welcomed you into our home after your mom’s passing”

“That boy didn’t have to figure out a way to stop his mother from dying” I snapped.

“Your mother would be turning in her grave to know all the disgraceful things you have done in her name” He stood up while I shook my head as I bit the inside of my cheek.

“I know what the f**k you are doing, and I am not falling for it. You want me to hit you so you can show Meredith just how bad I am to f**king hit an old man” I snickered even though my fist had clenched as soon as the words left his mouth.

“I am sure you have been longing to do it” He scoffed.

I had been for years.

“I had to become this man so that people would know that I was worth the money they paid me, so I could pay for my mother’s hospital bills while you were sipping champagne on vacations with your wife.” I gestured towards her while he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, don’t give me that! You knew exactly where I lived, you can’t act like you’re a stranger to this town when you lived here for most of your life”

“Until you shipped me off!”

“Your mother chose to leave with your no good father and where did that get her? Him ditching you guys as soon as things got rough. You claim you had to drift from town to town to follow jobs, but you are just like him and that girl needs to know that. She is only going to become attached to you and you will toss her aside just like your father did to your mother!”

“You can talk all the s**t you want about my so-called dad because I know what trash he is, and I am nothing like him. I was the one by my mom’s side while she was in pain. I saw the life being sucked out of her as cancer ate her away. Not you…” I moved towards him, “Maybe if you hadn’t turned your back on us just like my father then my mother wouldn’t have died.”

“We both know she wasn’t going to make it out of that hospital with all the money in the world”

“Edgar!” Lucille stood up but he didn’t bother looking at her as he glared at me.

“Maybe if that money was there from the start and we didn’t have to work so long to get it. I would have had to do all the s**t I had to do while you didn’t f**king answer any of our calls. You say you would have helped if you knew but you didn’t care to know s**t!” I turned my back on him as I kicked against the cabinet before I left the kitchen but heard his voice as he followed.

“I regret that, but my biggest regret is letting you leave this town with them seven years ago!”

“My biggest regret is coming back to this shitty town!” I moved out of the front door and slammed it and got onto my motorcycle.

The last time we had an argument I almost got into a serious accident because I had been filled with rage but luckily just walked away with a minor injury.

The only one that even knew about it was Meredith and I guess she would have been the only one that really cared anyway.

●●●

MEREDITH POV

The soccer field was always the place where I didn’t let anything get to me.

I was always able to prioritize things.

On the soccer field I wasn’t everything the world saw me, I was just the captain of my team and despite all I had found out in the week that hadn’t changed as I dribbled the ball with the crowd cheering on the bleachers.

Had I been crying myself to sleep since the bombshell was dropped on me?

Maybe.

I had seen Dane at school a couple times since then and while I didn’t make it obvious that I was avoiding him, I had made excuses as to why I couldn’t hang out with him.

I just felt so much hurt when I looked at him.

I had become used to the lingering hurt with Melissa because of the Adam thing but having it with Dane was just a different kind of hurt and somehow it was harder to experience.

It felt weird not hanging out with him but I didn’t know what to say to him without blurting out that I had seen his girlfriend. I also feared that maybe now that she was in town, the only reason he was even looking for me was to tell me about her and then ditch me.

The whistle blew, and a bright smile filled my face even though my heart wasn’t filled with pure joy. We had won the game and were champions yet it was all bittersweet for me.

If it had been a year before I would have been crying because of the overwhelming happiness but I couldn’t.

I was torn because half of me was filled with joy while the other knew that as soon as I left the field I would just be me.

I walked off the field after a fifteen minute celebration ceremony and having dealt with my parents gush over me. There had still been some awkwardness in the house after I had suggested Dane spend Thanksgiving Dinner with us but we always set aside our differences for big moments.

It was stupid holding a grudge for them not agreeing to what I wanted when they may have been right about him all along.

My sister had shown up too which meant a lot to me as well.

I could hear her cheers as I scored two goals for my team and it just took me back to all my games when my life was a lot simpler.

And soccer and books were all that mattered.

I moved towards the table and grabbed a water as the crowd had slowly disappeared and everyone else moved towards the locker room. I was busy gulping water when I noticed a figure make its way from beneath the bleachers.

I didn’t get the feeling I had just a few days earlier where the brief surprise caused my chest to tighten before the excitement took over and I broke into a smile.

I was just angry because while he appeared to be honest in his own Dane way whenever I had asked him something, he had been lying to me. I couldn’t question something I hadn’t thought about because I had assumed that because he kissed me it meant he wasn’t taken.

I had been so naïve.

He stopped in front of the table that had created a barrier between us while I closed the water bottle. He wasn’t smiling and seemed slightly tense and normally I would have tried to find a way to ask what had happened but not today.

“Congratulations, Meredith. You were amazing out there...” He smiled slightly and stared into my eyes, it seemed sincere but I wasn’t sure what I could believe anymore.

I had allowed myself to be deceived and been the other girl in his life while his girlfriend was over the moon to see him and oblivious to what he had done.

“I was thinking we could go to the lookout and celebrate, get away from here for a bit.” His voice was soft and his words came out almost pleadingly.

I shook my head and slowly walked around the table so that I could move to the lockers. “I think the lookout is for someone that’s actually romantically involved with you”

“I thought we were on the same page about that, Meredith” He sighed.

“I thought the exact same thing until I was doing my homework in my family’s restaurant and your girlfriend came in!” I tried to walk away but he tugged on my hand.

“What are you talking about?” He seemed confused or maybe it was just him trying to play it off.

“Dark hair with tattooed sleeves, ring a bell?” I narrowed my eyes at him and while it was usually to just feign annoyance, I was angry, and I hoped he could tell.

The confusion soon turned to a look of realization as he knew exactly who I was talking about and seeing him confirm it with the look in his eyes just broke my heart.

“Meredith, are you coming?” I heard Emily further down.

“Meredith, its…” He began but I quickly cut him off, while I had felt torn before, I just wanted to forget everything that concerned him and celebrate my victory.

“I don’t want to hear it, Dane. I have to go” I shrugged him off and quickly ran to join the rest of my team.

After we walked a few feet I glanced over my shoulder and saw he had turned and walked away.

“Are you coming with to my celebratory party?” Ashley asked as we entered the locker room.

“Party?” I questioned wearily because even though I was never in a party mood, it was magnified by the situation with Dane.

“Come on, its going to be fun!” Emily nudged me.

I briefly thought about what else I would be doing which would probably be me just sitting at home and crying into my pillow.

I sighed, “Sure”