Write on me

Chapter 13| Boys love breaking hearts

I admired the view as we passed many trees on the way to Mr. Hamilton’s home. I was driving over with my grandparents who had insisted on taking me once my dad mentioned I would be visiting since they hadn’t had a get together in a while. I didn’t mind because it saved me the trouble of asking Melissa to drop me when she surely had plans with Adam that were too important to delay.

We had driven to school together for the rest of the week and had minimal conversations about school work but didn’t address the major issue.

I wondered if I didn’t have Dane to hang out with and that helped drain the little social energy I had if I would have given into her by now. But if I didn’t have Dane in my life we never would have had any of our blowouts that led to a whole can of worms being opened.

Dane and I had fallen into a bit of a routine after my birthday, he would either be waiting by my locker when I got to school or in my first period class. We would also hang out during lunchbreak usually he just catered to my convenience and we stayed in the library. I would read while he caught up on work and I helped, I discovered he ditched at least twice a week for reasons unknown.

We didn’t talk about anything deep, just random stuff and would usually end it off with a make out session. I never thought I would even like the concept of sharing saliva with someone, but it felt like every time I looked into his grey eyes that was all I wanted to do. The strange thing was, the more time went by the less awkward I felt doing it, even though I still never initiated anything.

I just feared the rejection even though he probably wouldn’t disapprove but hey I couldn’t rush it all I was still finding my way. I wondered if other people found kissing as pleasurable as we did or I did because it was truly an amazing invention, the art of French kissing.

“Sweetheart…” I heard my gran’s voice and felt my face burning due to the inappropriate direction my thoughts had drifted and I hoped I hadn’t mumbled anything out loud.

“Yes, gran?”

“We’re here” She smiled before she left the car and I opened my door as we were parked outside a cozy house that was fit for two.

We were still walking up the driveway when the door opened, and we were greeted by Rubie with a bright smile on her face, she just radiated positivity and love. I couldn’t describe it but there were people that were just happy all the time, but you could just sense it was some sort of façade but not her.

It gave me some hope for the world out there but then again, she hadn’t been born or raised here so that was where she learned to thrive while if I would go there I would be at a disadvantage.

“I am so happy you came!” She gushed as I followed her to the backyard.

I noticed immediately that she had laid a picnic blanket down with some sandwiches and treats.

“You didn’t have to do all this, Rubie.” I smiled as I hadn’t expected her to put in that much effort, I had just assumed we would be hanging out in the room she was staying in.

“It’s your first visit. Besides, my gran would have been mad if I didn’t host you in style” She shrugged and kicked off her shoes before she sat down, and I joined her as we sat in silence for a bit as we ate.

“Do you like living in this town?” She questioned a few minutes after we had finished eating.

I was grateful as I had felt the silence becoming awkward despite the soft music emitting from her phone.

“I suppose. It's all I know, and I do enjoy it; maybe not the people as much but the town is great”

“I get it. I have seen some kids in town and I can see they are odd” She said thoughtfully while I thought she had spoken incorrectly.

“I am the different one!” I giggled as it was strange hearing someone call them odd instead of me.

“That’s why they are odd. Everyone just blends in here, you are lucky you haven’t fallen victim to that”

I frowned at the way she perceived things. “Everyone here would say the opposite”

“Trust me, being different is so much better. I mean, if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be hanging out here with me”

“I am so honored” I laughed out due to her playful tone.

“Why thank you!” She giggled before opening a bag of chips and lying down onto her stomach.

“My girlfriend and I will be together for six months next month, well end of October anyway” She randomly stated.

“You mean boyfriend?” I frowned as I had zoned out, so I was sure I had heard wrong.

She smirked due to me trying to correct her I realized, “Nope. Girlfriend…”

“Oh, wow! Sorry, I just never met a girl with a girlfriend before”

I was relieved that she wasn’t upset by my initial reaction as it was just foreign to me. I had read books, but it was different meeting someone.

“A lesbian. No kidding hey, I would say I am surprised, but I am not.”

“Does your parents know?” I questioned and briefly wondered how my parents would react if I had to share something like that with them.

“Yeah. I came out to them last year, but my grandparents don’t. My parents fear that they wouldn’t understand because all they know is what they have been exposed to. Which you can understand by your reaction is not exactly a lot, and they are set in their ways.”

I liked how open she was about it all, I didn’t feel weird about asking her questions. I was sure people felt the opposite about me…

“Do you think they would hate you?” I cautiously asked, and she almost tested the word before she answered.

“I don’t think hate. Just disappointed because you know how it is with family, sometimes they just have good intentions and want what’s best for you. They have these expectations of what and who we are meant to be or be with, they see what they want for you so when you show them something else it’s a shock and their first reaction is normally anger or disappointment. My parents never shunned me, but it took them awhile to adjust and I don’t think my grandparents would be able to deal with it.”

I could tell she was saddened by the secrecy and I could see why, she was outspoken and honest. She had met me a few days ago and openly stated how she felt and who she was because she knew who she was and was proud of it even at fifteen. But she had to hide from people she loved…

“It sucks because they always ask me about boyfriends, but you do what you have to do to keep the peace in the family I suppose. My other grandparents know though, they grew up in the city, so they have seen everything.” She sighed.

“I am sorry that you can’t be open with them, especially because I know how much he loves you. He always speaks about you...” I referred to her grandpa that smiled from ear to ear at the mere thought of her visiting them.

She smiled but then shrugged and I could tell she didn’t want to continue speaking about it, “How about you?”

“Oh, I just started feeling weird things for a boy so I wouldn’t be able to add feelings for a girl into that” I blurted out and she laughed out.

“You’re funny and thanks for not being weird about it. And I am not just saying it cause you grew up in a closeminded town but because some girls just become uncomfortable”

“Uhm no problem, to be honest if I were showing any signs of being awkward or uncomfortable it’s just because that’s how I tend to be in social situations”

She smiled and sat up again. “Trust me, one weekend in New York and you would be a different human. Or maybe just get lost in a few huge libraries and museums and become more introverted, it just depends”

“You make the city sound like so much fun” I said thoughtfully as it seemed everyone I met, well the two people I met, that were from out of town just wanted me to see what they had seen.

Maybe it was better there, I mean if the two people gravitated towards me when I always felt unseen then maybe that’s where I was meant to be?

“It is. Every place comes with its challenges, but it is quite liberating though, and the weaves are just better over there”

I giggled as she ran her fingers through her luscious hair, “Thank you for inviting me today. I didn’t think I would enjoy it much, just because I struggle with people and especially new ones but this has been so great”

“I don’t think it's people you struggle with, its just the people in your town. But I am happy to have added some spice to your life!” She winked.

●●●

I yawned out as I slowly trudged up the stairs to get to my room, the most I had done physically for the day was playing catch with their Labrador, yet I felt exhausted. I guess spending the entire day with someone filled with energy could be draining but I had still enjoyed my day much more than I expected I would.

I opened my door and stopped in place as I saw my sister lying on my bed, reading one of my books. I raised my eyebrow as she noticed me and set the book down on my bedside table before she sat on the edge of my bed.

“I thought you would be home much sooner but thankfully the random book I picked kept me entertained” She smiled with a cheery tone that sounded so foreign considering the state our twinship had been in for the last couple of weeks.

“I didn’t think you would be home at all” I mumbled and dropped my bag on a chair before I took off my jacket.

“I cancelled my dinner plans with Adam” She shrugged and watched me as I took off my shoes and untied my hair.

“Why?” I frowned as she hardly ever cancelled plans with anyone except me because she never wanted to be known as someone that flaked on people.

“Because some things just need to stop being dragged out at this point and I couldn’t wait any longer but then I got home and realized I had to wait”

“Sorry. You should have texted”

“That’s okay. Were you with him?”

I shook my head as I set my phone down beside the book before I laid beside her and hugged my pillow while closing my eyes just to rest them for abit.

“Nope. You know Mr. Hamilton right?” I lazily mumbled.

“Oh, you were hanging out with his granddaughter, right?” She had actually listened to me mentioning it at dinner even though I thought she had been blocking me out.

“Yup”

“How is she?” She asked and sounded genuinely interested so I opened my eyes and stared at her as she had shifted beside me.

“She’s really great, not like anyone around here. I wish I had the energy she has but it would just be too much work for me.” Mel giggled and I continued as I had almost forgotten. “Oh and she has a girlfriend”

“She does?” Her eyes widened just like mine probably had so I knew there was no judgement but just surprise because it wasn’t something you heard about in our town.

“Yeah they have been together for 6months” I added.

“Interesting. You know I suspected you were batting for the other team until Mr Badboy appeared” I wasn’t sure what she meant by that as we were just friends but chose to not question it because I enjoyed just speaking about something other than the recurring topic.

“Would you have judged me for it?” I mumbled as my eyes were fighting with me as they tried to shut while I didn’t want to fall asleep just yet.

She pouted as she thought about it, “No. I just told you I suspected it and did I treat you differently? I was just concerned about it because of the rest of the town that’s all.”

I nodded.

“Meredith, come on wake up!” She whined and gently shook me so I reluctantly sat up to ensure that I wouldn’t fall asleep.

“I am so tired. I don’t know how you do this every weekend” I half groaned.

“Do what?” She questioned but was clearly amused by my tired state.

“Hang out with your friends”

She smirked, “I should have known you weren’t with him. I didn’t hear his motorcycle and you aren’t wide awake like you are when you have been with him. It’s like he awakens something in you”

I frowned as it was the second time she had spoken about him and she wasn’t biting my head off, “This is the most times you have spoken about him while not having disgust in your voice or screaming at me so I am very confused by what is happening”

She frowned and seemed confused by my reaction, “Isn’t this what you wanted? Me to be more accepting?”

“I guess. Its just weird when for the last couple of months before and after I befriended him you have just had horrible things to say” I shrugged as I tried to understand what had caused the change of heart on her part when days before she couldn’t even contain her anger at our birthday dinner.

“I was being selfish. I was watching you two this week and he does seem like an actual normal human when he is with you. It was hard to tell in the hallways because he is so covered but I saw you two in the library once when I wanted to talk to you. He was actually laughing!”

“He does do that” I smiled as I briefly pictured it, it was a beautiful smile as well but I wouldn’t tell him that. He just had the perfect teeth too…

“So, what is the story between you guys?”

“We’re just friends, Mel. Contrary to belief” I shrugged as that was what we were.

“Friends with benefits?”

“Ew” I scrunched up my face as I couldn’t believe she thought I would go that far with someone I hadn’t even known that long.

“I don’t mean that. I know it’s definitely not that or I couldn’t be sure cause you have changed a bit but I’m happy it’s not that. But what I really wanted to know is if you have had your first, real kiss?”

I buried my face in my pillow and she laughed out before poking me with her fingers.

“You go, sis! I wish I wasn’t such a pain before. I am sorry, really sorry for everything. I am supposed to be your protector but if my boyfriend makes a remark I just find it harder to be harsh with him so I go along with it and that’s what Dane overheard”

“I don’t care if your boyfriend hates me, as long as you don’t hate me or resent me because you were burdened with me” I chewed on my lip while she sighed with a small pout due to my words.

“He doesn’t hate you, it's just jealousy. And you could never be a burden, I like protecting you and I guess that’s the tough part too. I see you finding yourself another protector”

“All he does is glare at people that whisper about me but he could never be you” I knew I was just saying it to make her feel better because even if she denied it I would always feel like a burden to her. She was my sister so she sort of had to be there for me from a young age and now it was just an automatic response. Dane had chosen it because he wanted to do it for me, it was different.

“That’s not all he does”

“What do you mean?”

“We were in Chemistry class once and they were messing with him because he had to take off his hoodie again. He was ignoring them until they said that maybe if the loner chick was here he would do it. And he said, and I quote ‘Don’t you ever call her that again and just keep her name out of your mouth altogether’ Needless to say he got detention that day but it was admirable.” She smiled and almost seemed proud.

“Okay you are laying it on thick now” I giggled to hide my surprise at him making the effort to defend me in my absence.

“I am just trying to show you that even though I acted out of serious concern before, I know you and I know that you are capable of taking care of yourself. I have just gotten so used to trying to protect you from kids that only end up hurting you that I am blinded by it sometimes”

“He really is a good guy. He would probably kill me for saying it, but he is a great friend to me in his own way.”

“And he is a great kisser?”

I laughed out, “Yeah he is pretty good”

“Just be careful though and I don’t mean it in a he looks dangerous and sketchy. I just mean it as he is a boy and boys love breaking hearts” I could tell her words were sincere but I wasn’t too worried about it.

“He can’t break my heart when we aren’t even dating, Mel”

“I know but you have never been friends with a boy, especially a boy you are kissing because even though you don’t want to admit it you guys are probably still kissing right?”

“Just because I haven’t kissed or been friends with a boy doesn’t mean I am going to fall for him. I read romance books as a pastime, I would recognize something like that.” I said more defensively than I intended but I just felt uncomfortable with how she perceived things even though I appreciated her newfound support of him.

“Okay, Meredith. I believe you, so now please tell me all the juicy details!”