What Love Entails

fifteen

sous l’âme || fifteen

♠︎

The kiss was raw and passionate. My lips against his seemed to convey just one thing- that I missed him. River quickly recovered from his shock as he took over the kiss and kissed me back with as much passion, if not more.

My hands ran over his soft hair as he pulled me closer towards him. We kissed each other like we were surviving on each other. His tongue traced my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I quickly granted. He deepened the kiss passionately, making me gasp. I don't think we would've ever parted from each other if it weren't for the fact that we needed oxygen to survive. We parted, our breaths heavy and erratic. River pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. His lips were red and swollen from our kiss and I was pretty sure mine was too. "I missed you so f*****g much," his voice came out husky, sounding sexy.

"Me too," my voice was higher than usual and breathy.

He dropped his hands to enclose it around mine. "I'm never gonna leave you ever again."

I cracked a smile. "I won't let you either way."

He laughed before wrapping his arms around me. As I did the same, I couldn't help but feel that I was finally back where I belonged.

______

Thursday evening, I was at home alone watching TV when I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the front door and my lips formed a smile when I saw River standing there. "Hey," he grinned.

"Hey. What brings you here?"

"I just wanted to see you."

A warm feeling developed in my chest as I laughed and let him in, closing the door behind me. "Wanna come up to my room?"

He nodded and I led the way upstairs to my room. Once we entered my bedroom, River scanned everything. "It's been ages since I've been here." There was a small bittersweet smile on his face. "Everything's more or less the same."

"The walls are blue now."

"They were always blue."

I grinned. "I'm glad you remember that."

I dropped down to my bed and ushered him to do the same. He did and rested his head on my shoulders. "I'm sleepy."

"Then why'd you come here?" I snorted. "You should've stayed at home and taken a nap."

"I wanted to be with you."

His eyes looked up to mine and they twinkled with adoration as his hand pulled me down by my neck and planted my lips on his. Our lips moved against each other in perfect sync as his hands held me by my hips. I circled my arms around his neck as he nibbled on my lower lip. We lowered down on the bed and he lay on top of me, his lips never leaving mine. My whole body was on fire as his tongue slipped inside my mouth and explored every nook and corner of it. I let out a soft moan as his hands made contact with my bare stomach. I tangled my hands on his hair while his hands moved further up inside my t-shirt. His lips finally left mine to plant small kisses over my jaw and neck. I bit my lip to resist the urge to let out a moan and let my hands roam over his back.

"Kyla!" We sprang apart from each other as though we received an electric shock at the sound of my mother's voice. "I'm home!"

I tried to steady my irregular breathing before shouting. "Okay, mom," I cleared my throat when my voice came out too pitchy. "I'm upstairs with River."

River chuckled as he laid down on the bed. "We always seem to have really good timing." I laid beside him as I agreed. "Yeah. It's annoying."

River smirked, and I wanted to kiss him once again. He pinched my cheeks. "You're so cute."

I gave him a peck on the lips. "Shut up." He grinned, and pulled me close. "I'm so happy that you're finally in my arms again."

I smiled, feeling a sense of warmth and joy as I cuddled with him. It just felt right. "Me too."

____

I was currently at school having lunch with River and Andrea. River had his chin rested on his hand as he stared at me, a small smile on his lips. I gave him a questioning look. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"Yeah," he however made no attempt to avert his eyes from me.

"Then?"

He let out a small chuckle. "There are bread crumbs on your face, Kyla."

"Oh," I blushed. "Is it gone now?" I asked after I wiped the sides of my mouth with my hand.

He nodded as Andrea piped in. "Are you guys going out or something now?"

I gave her a look of disbelief. "You guys just seem to have this air of romance around you," she justified herself.

"We're not," I deadpanned. Something flitted across River's face as I said this but I couldn't make out what exactly. The rest of lunch went by silently with us focusing only on our food.

I couldn't help but feel that something was off in the atmosphere as River finished his lunch and left after saying bye. "He seems totally in love with you," Andrea laughed.

Heat rushed to my cheeks but I didn't say anything back. I drank the last sip of my drink and got up. "I'll be going ahead, okay? I need to get to class early."

"Sure, see you," she didn't mind.

I dumped my plate into the garbage can and walked out the cafeteria when I came across Kaden. "Oh, hey there."

"Hey, Kyla," he smiled. "So I heard you and River were being all intimate yesterday at the bonfire party?"

I blushed. "W- Who told you that?"

"I was there myself," He smirked. “I witnissed all the lovey dovey stuff.”

“Stop exaggerating. We were only holding hands.” That is, in public.

“Good going,” he ruffled my hair like he always liked to. “I’m happy for you and River.”

“Yeah, thanks,” I smiled but shifted uncomfortably. Kaden seemed to have noticed it and looked at me dead in the eyes. “I don’t know what happened between you two that made you guys break up,” he dug his hands into his pocket. “But don’t force yourself into anything, okay?”

I nodded. He lightly patted my shoulder before walking away and I wondered how was it that Kaden always seemed to tell me what I needed to hear.

————

It was Saturday and I was feeling bored of watching movies on repeat. So I picked up my phone and quickly dialled River's number and waited patiently as the ring went. "Hello?" His voice was like a beautiful melody ringing in my ear.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing to be honest," he admitted. "What about you?"

"Same. I'm really bored."

"Then why don't you come over? My father's gone out of a meeting so it's just me."

I swallowed as I thought if he was implying what I thought he was. If he wasn't, I guess I just had a dirty mind. "Alright, I'll be right over."

I ended the call and quickly rummaged through my closet for something decent to wear. I slipped into some comfy shorts and tee before rushing out of my house.

As I was about to press the doorbell to his house, the door sprang open. "Hey there," River smirked before pulling me into his arms.

"River, we're still outside," I mumbled against his chest.

He pulled me inside with me and closed the door. "No we're not."

I glared at him playfully. "Smartass."

"You love it," he winked.

Yes, I do. "Right," I rolled my eyes.

He hugged me tightly before kissing me. It was short and sweet this time. We dropped down on the couch and started talking about random stuff. "I still have one question left from the question game," River suddenly claimed.

"Right, you can ask me now."

"Do you want to date me?"

The question was simple and to the point. But it still stunned me. I did want to, I had always wanted to be with River. But there was something that stopped me from doing so. I was scared. I was scared that if I gave my heart to him so easily like I did before, there was a chance that it might get shattered once again. "Yeah.."

"Then why won't you date me?" His voice was soft and low. My heart broke to hear him sound so vulnerable.

"I want to, but," I swallowed. "I don't think I'm ready yet."

He looked at me with soft yet guarded eyes. "What's stopping you?"

"We've just been through so much, River," I choked out and suddenly found myself wanting to cry. "I do love you, but I-" I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to explain it to him.

He pulled me into an embrace. "You don't need to force yourself to explain it to me," he whispered. "I understand."

"I think you're right," he continued, his voice raw with emotion. "We've been through a lot. Maybe it's best if we take our time and heal ourselves before taking any decision. We should be sure that it's what we want before we commit to anything. I think it's best if we take it slow after all."

That was what I loved about River. He understood me and his words never failed to comfort and assure me. I looked up to see him smiling down at me. His smile was the most beautiful in the world; it lit up everything.

"I love you, Kyla," he placed his forehead against mine. "I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes. I'll wait until you're ready to take the next step together with me. As long as I know that I have your heart, I'll wait."

"You do, River. You have my heart, forever and always."

It was times like this that made me wonder about the feeling called love. What exactly was love? It couldn't really be explained. All I could say was that I knew the feelings I harbored for River was “love". The feeling was so strange and overwhelming; it spread throughout my entire being. It made me feel complete. It brought people like me and River who broke apart, together again. It made a broken, lost person like me dream of possibilities again. That's the thing about love: it could break you, yet it could also fix you. It made you see things in a way you never thought was possible. It made me dream of the future I could have with River, of starting a family together with him. I didn't know how long that would take, but I knew that slowly but surely, it would come to be.

Because love was a universe filled with endless possibilities and for me, that universe was River.

_______

I feel what I've been feeling for you

Means I am falling for you

Something's opened up inside of me

And I dream

In shades that only can be

The colors of you and me

I think we both know what that means

I stand inside this promise I made to myself

That I was meant for you

If I fall

If I break

If I lose myself in someone

If I give all I am it'll be with you

When I'm ready to take

All that you want me to give

It will be worth the wait

Worth the wait

It will be worth the wait

My heart

I wanna save it for you

Don't want it broken into pieces

I need myself to be whole

And could we just sit and talk a while

Just wanna see you smile

Feel your sunlight

Shining over me

If I fall

If I break

If I lose myself in someone

If I give all I am it'll be with you

When I'm ready to take

All that you want me to give

It will be worth the wait

Worth the wait

Worth all the long nights dreaming of forever

Someday we will be together

I know it will have been so worth the wait

Ooh

Please wait for me

If I fall

If I break

If I lose myself in someone

If I give all I am it'll be with you

When I'm ready to take

All that you want me to give

It will be worth the wait

Worth the wait

It will have been so worth the wait, yeah

I will be worth the wait

- Worth the wait by Jordan Sparks

 ________

That’s the end of sous l’âme, folks! How did you like it? Thanks for reading this far and completely this part together with me. I may update a bonus chapter in River’s point of view. So anyhow, please follow, share and comment! Stay tuned!