sous l’âme || thirteen
♠︎
Monday rolled in and I was extremely nervous to face River. We hadn't spoken or even seen each other ever since the kiss we shared last Friday night. I really wasn't ready to face him yet but I was bound to see him at school. So gearing up my heart, I took a step inside of the school's busy corridor.
However it wasn't until I was seated in my place during Lit class did I see River. When he entered the room, his eyes immediately landed on mine and I thought my heart would stop. He gave me a brief smile before turning away. Since the seat beside me was occupied, he walked past it and sat at the back.
During lunch, Andrea approached my table. "Can I sit?" She smiled.
I nodded. "By all means."
"How come you always sit alone?" She asked as she took a bite of her sandwich.
"I don't really fit in a clique," I shrugged. "I used to hang out with some girls but I realised I really wasn't a part of them."
My mind flashed back to that time.
"Come on, Kyla, let's go!" Nicole pulled me by the arm. Grace and Amanda were already running towards the mall. "We wouldn't want to miss the sale! It's huge!"
I sulked as I mumbled something about wanting to go get some food instead. When did they get so excited about clothes anyway? Just a month back we were all about food after all. I slacked behind as they gushed about the clothes and lined up outside the fitting room.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed a familiar figure outside by the ice cream bar. My eyes brightened up at the sight of my best friend and I dashed towards him. "River!" I tackled him.
"Oof!" He glared at me. "You're heavy, you pig."
I stuck my tongue out at him. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"Getting ice cream, can't you see?" He rolled his eyes as he gestured to the ice cream bar.
"Get me one too!" I beamed.
"Nah, you'll get even heavier than you are now."
I glared at him before putting on my sweetest smile. "Please, River. Pretty pretty pleaseee."
He sighed. "Fine you greedy pig."
"Yay!" I exclaimed and ordered my ice cream. Once it was in my hands, I gobbled it up. "Ew," River scrunched up his nose in disgust. "Are you a girl or a pig?"
"Maybe I'm turning into an actual pig because you keep calling me one," I mocked him sarcastically.
"Kyla!" A high pitched voice called out. I turned to face Grace, Nicole and Amanda who were right outside the store they were in, with loads of shopping bags in their arms. I waved at them and they walked over to me. "Geez Kyla," Grace muttered. "Give us a hand would you?"
I pursed my lips as I scrutinised their bags. "What'd you get so much for?"
"You wouldn't understand," Amanda sighed as both Grace and Nicole shook their heads at me.
I scowled. They were making me feel so left out. "Fine," I huffed, rolling my eyes.
"And where'd you disappear?" Nicole snapped. "We were looking everywhere for you."
"I just came to get some ice cream."
"Ugh, how can you eat ice cream right now?" Amanda scoffed. "I think its time you take a step back from food."
My jaw dropped. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"You're not exactly, um, thin, Kyla," Nicole scanned me up and down with a disappointed look on her face. "Not much of a figure too."
"What?" I was aghast. "I just turned thirteen! I still have time to-"
They laughed collectively. I could feel myself boiling as my eyes welled up. It felt like they were making fun of me. I thought they were my friends but they were making me feel bad about myself. I was about to yell at them when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"I think that's enough," River's voice was firm and steady.
Grace looked up and her whole demeanour shifted. "Oh, hi River," she put on her nicest smile. "I didn't see you there."
"Hey," he smiled back but I could tell that it was fake. "Now f**k off."
They collectively gasped. Grace stepped forward. "Oh c'mon, River," her voice was sickeningly sweet. "I know you've been stuck with Kyla here for god knows how long but aren't you tired of her now?" My jaw dropped down as I processed what she was trying to say. "You can just ditch her and come hang out with us you know. We're much more fun than her."
I clenched my fists and was about to pounce on her but River gripped my hand hard before he spoke, malice dripping in his voice. "Sorry, I'd rather be with Kyla than you fake bitches." More gasps. "I don't think you heard me the first time. f**k off. And don't bother or come near Kyla or me ever again."
I could hear them sputtering some incoherent words as River grabbed my hand and led me away from the scene. Tears started rolling down my face as I took in everything that had happened. I thought they were my friends. They actually thought that way of me? How could they say that? I felt so betrayed.
"Kyla," River's voice was soft as he turned to face me. He wiped my tears with his hands. "Don't cry. They're not worth it."
"I- But I thought they were my friends," I sniffled.
He scoffed. "You don't need them. I mean," he tilted my face up so that we were eye to eye. "You have me. What else do you need?"
He grinned brightly and I almost melted. My lips slowly formed into a smile. "You're right. I have you. That's more than enough."
I smiled at the bittersweet memory. It was from that day that I had developed a sort of crush on River. Looking back, it was really heartwarming how River stood up for me and took care of me over the years. No wonder I had been so helplessly in love with him.
"Well then," Andrea held out her hand. "Let's be friends."
I blinked, surprised. I smiled and shook her hand. "Sure, why not?"
She grinned. "By the way, you're going to the bonfire party tomorrow right?"
"What party?"
She laughed. "You're really clueless, aren't you?"
"The football team is organising a bonfire party at the beach tomorrow. The whole school's invited. We should totally go."
I thought about it for a while. "Alright."
"Thank god I don't need to persuade you this time." We both laughed.
_______
"Honey, get ready. There's a community gathering at the Hayes'," my mom announced as soon as I stepped inside my house.
"Eh? But I- Do I have to go?" I mumbled.
"Yes. And dress nice. Wear a dress or something," the look on my mom's face said that she wasn't going to change her mind so I dragged my ass up to my room and scanned my closet to find something suitable to wear. In the end, I picked a baby blue coloured dress which was sleeveless and had slight frills at the lower end. I slipped into a pair of sandals and a light sweater before climbing down the stairs.
"Oh, you're done," my dad said as he saw me. "Let's go then."
"Are we taking the car?" I asked.
"Yes," my mom said.
"Their house is very near, though."
My dad laughed. "It's not really that easy for old people like us to walk even that much of a distance."
My mom slapped his arm. "You just indirectly declared that I'm old."
I laughed.
Once we reached River's house, we were warmly greeted by Mr. Hayes who ushered us inside. There were some other elderly people too, and I shook hands with them. My mom and dad immediately started engaging in a conversation with them. I spotted River standing by the staircase and when he saw me, he walked over to me. "Hey."
"Hey," I glanced at the room and could sense that the elders were already engrossed in a topic. I chuckled. "We're quite left out aren't we?"
"Yeah," he replied. "Wanna go upstairs?"
"Okay," I immediately agreed as it was awkward as hell to just stand there having nothing to do.
We excused ourselves and went up to River's room. He immediately collapsed on his bed. "I'm so tired. I had just reached home after football practice when dad told me that guests were arriving anytime soon."
"Same," I sat down on the edge of his bed. "I had to come over as soon I reached home."
"At least we can rest now," relief was evident in his voice. He yawned. "I think I'm gonna take a nap. You can join me if you like."
I was tired and a nap would honestly do me good. "Alright," I said, getting up and propping myself on his chair.
"What are you doing?" His voice startled me.
"Taking a nap," I said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You seriously aren't going to in that chair?" He raised his brow.
"Well, there's no other place."
"There is," he said flatly. "You can sleep on the bed, I won't bite."
"Ah, but," I cleared my throat. "You're taking a nap there too."
"So?" He chuckled. "We used to always sleep on the same bed."
"But that was back then," I muttered to myself.
"Just come on, Kyla," he sighed and I could make out the tiredness in his voice. "We're both tired. So just spare me the work and come over."
I swallowed. "Okay."
I slowly crawled onto the bed and settled myself next to River before drawing the covers over myself. I faced the other way away from River and my heart was thumping so loud I was scared if he could hear it. After an anxious while, I could hear the slow breaths of River inhaling and exhaling. I then knew that he had gone off to sleep and only then did my heart stop racing. A comfortable silence surrounded us and I could feel my eyelids drooping. I was basked in the faint smell of River's scent as I gave way to sleep.
______
I was continuing where I left off my book in the library when a figure took the seat in front of me. I was surprised when I saw that it was Bree. "Um, hi," I smiled.
"Hey," she smiled back, fidgeting with her bag.
"How've you been?"
"Not too good," she laughed weakly. "What about you? I see you and River patched up."
"Yeah.." I trailed off, not sure if she liked the idea of it.
"I'm glad to hear that," she smiled genuinely. I scanned her face to find any trace of insincerity but I could not.
"Bree, I thought you liked River a lot," I blurted out. "Why did you break up with him?"
She let out a deep breath. "It wouldn't have worked out between us."
I frowned. "But I thought you guys were happy together."
Her eyes were full of sadness and pain as she spoke. "He doesn't feel the same way as I do. I think he’s still in love with you.”
I was speechless. "I should go now," she abruptly stood up. She looked at me with sincere eyes. "I wish you and River all the best. I mean it."
I watched her figure as she walked out of the library. It was quite disbelieving to see that a girl like Bree who was pretty, popular and had everything going for her was shackled down by love. The same went for every other person in the world. It was funny how the feeling called "love" could impact your life in ways you could never imagine- it dictated your thoughts, your words, your decisions and your actions. Sometimes it would break you, sometimes it would fix you. And Bree and I were just one among billions whose life turned upside down owing to that.
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hello readers. As you can see I’m trying to update as constantly as I can as there are just two days left now for the contest to end. So please follow so that you don’t miss any updates. I’m really struggling but trying my best to reach the word count of 50,000 words before the 1st of June so that I am eligible for the contest. I’m even bailing on my summer assignments because of that. Haha. But thank you for reading. Feel free to comment too :)