Over The Ocean

Chapter Five

The sun hits my eyes. I turn and moan. It doesn't feel like I slept more than two hours. I look around for a clock and I feel a hand on my back on the part where the tank top, which I had fallen asleep in, had gone up. I turn my head and look into Derek's soft face. Sleep soften his fantastic features and there is no self-confidence or nervousness. I don't really feel like waking him, so I carefully sit up and slowly slink out of the room. Nikki jump off her bed and follow me. I find two pills for my headache in my purse and take them with a glass of water from the kitchen, there I check the clock which reads 7:02 am.

I remember Derek showing me the cabinet where he keps the dog food, so if I wake up earlier than him, I could give Nikki two scoops. So I open the cupboard, find the bag of dog food and measure the scoops of dog food and give it to Nikki. She look at me gratefully and a little wonderingly before I signal her to go ahead.

I take one of the blankets from the sofa and wrap it around me before opening the patio door and heading out into the not yet very warm Los Angeles morning.

I sit there for a little while, watching the sun rise, before Nikki comes out and lay down next to me on the wooden floor. She placed herself so close that I stretch my hand out to pet her as my thought wander.

This quiet moment in the morning made me miss my family even more. There aren't many moments like this with them, but when they do come, they are greatly valued.

It is probably almost time to have dinner at home now. Maybe I can call just to check in. But then I'll probably delay dinner or they might not be home.

I get up and walk over and stand by the shower, maybe I could take a shower.. but the shower is right outside the bedroom. Maybe it makes a lot of noise when the water flush through the pipes?

The silence is broken from a ringtone. I recognized 'The Lazy Song' by Bruno Mars.

It goes on for half a minute, with Derek not picking up. It stops, and ten seconds later a new song starts

LMFAO 'Sexy and I know It'

This one stops after five seconds and a murmur is heard from inside the bedroom. Then a shout is heard from the other side of the house that sounds like "Come on, don't be a d**k, man!"

Half a minute later Derek comes out with a pair of denim shorts hanging dangerously low on his hips and no shirt on.

"Hey-" he say, running his hand through his blond hair. "I woke up and you weren't there."

I want to laugh at his face expression.

"Sure it has nothing to do with the two phone calls you received and the name calling person outside your gate?" I ask, smiling sweetly.

"Oh-" he say and smile sheepishly "You heard that?"

"It was kind of hard not to, what was that about?"

“Adam and Hank want me to go and surf with them. Grace and Sophie are with them too.” He say, studying my reaction.

“Do you want to go and surf?” I ask, wondering how this will end. I'm NEVER standing on a board in a water that is shared with maybe a one billion fishes with perfect teeth to dismember a body with. No thanks, I like my body intact.

"Yeah it's fun, but if you don't want to, I'll stay here with you. I can go surfing another day. We can go sightseeing instead.”

"Whoa-" I say covering his mouth with my hand. "I'll come too. But we bring Nikki right? Then I've got a reason not to go in the water.”

“You seemed to like the water yesterday.” He say, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion and I see the gears were spinning at high speed inside his head.

"That's a pool-" I say and smile.

He raise his eyebrow but go back into the house to get his phone, dial a number and turn on the speaker.

"You changed your mind?" answer a voice. It sound very masculine and he has some kind of dialect that Derek doesn't have.

"Can you tell me that you won't be an ass, Adam, and I'll tell you why I didn't want to come with you at first."

“Now you're being an ass, D.” a bubbly female voice says.

"Well, Sophie, why won't you all come back and I'll show you why I am conflicted."

"Okay." They hanged up.

Derek look at me and grin in amusement.

"I gave Nikki breakfast." I say before I forget.

He nods, turn to walk back into the bedroom. "You better get dressed, unless you would like to wear that to the beach which I would totally support but-"

"I'll get dressed." I interrupt him, it feel like I understand where he is going.

I follow him into the bedroom and look for my suitcase which have somehow ended up under the bed, as I'm on all fours looking I feel Derek watching me, I pretend not to notice and proceed to pull the suitcase out. I pull out a beach dress, mom bought it when they were abroad last time, and then I get my bathing suit from yesterday which is now dry.

I go into the bathroom and start to brush my teeth as well as use the loo. Then my hair need a round of intervention, brushing some knots in my hair and then I put it up in a ponytail.

When I'm done, I actually feel much fresher. I take the tank top and shorts back into the bedroom where Derek is just pulling the wetsuit over his bare bum, this meant he was half naked with his back to me. I stand quietly for a couple of seconds and just stared at the relatively muscular back of his.

He turns and it get very hot in the room. He take the three steps between us and then I'm in his arms. I look deep into his sea blue eyes and it feels like I could disappear into them forever. There is only a few centimeters between our lips.

I want to kiss him. I want him to want to kiss me.

"I'm sexy and I know it..."

I snort so unexpectedly that I have to turn around to avoid knocking him and I can't stop the bubbling laugh escapes me.

Derek grin and walk out of the bedroom to let his friends in. I hear the door open and a number of voices getting louder.

"...man, what the hell is going on?"

"Yeah, Sophie was sadistic and said that you might be having some insomnia problem..."

"Hey, that was your fantasy, a**wipe, I just said that D was probably sleeping and didn't want to come."

“Okay you guys shut up.” I hear Derek say.

They mumble a little among themselves but are otherwise silent.

“Stay.” he say, then I hear footsteps and he is standing in the doorway. "Want to come and meet them?"

I nod, my stomach bubbeling, hoping it didn't sound as loud as it feels. But I follow Derek into the living room and is greeted by four people, two guys and two girls. On the far left stood a short girl with a mischievous short brown hairdo. Her lips are slightly curved and she smile genuinely.

Standing next to her is a guy who is a head taller than the girl, he has dark blonde hair with light brown stripes that look like it is styled to look unkempt.

The next one is another guy who when I look at him he scans me from head to toe. He has sun-bleached brown hair and mischievous blue eyes. The girl standing next to him had sunglasses on her head and her blonde hair hang loosly over her shoulders and cover her bikini.

"Rosie..." Derek presents. “This is Grace, Hank, Adam and Sophie.”

"Hi, I'm Grace." The girl with short brown hair say and wave.

“I do dare saying that is the cutest beach dress I've seen in a long time!” Sophie sighs while eyeing my dress.

“Rosie, huh?” Adam grins.

“Yeah, Rosie. We ready to go?”

“Absolutely.” Hank smiles.

“Do you surf?” Grace ask.

“No.” I say, smiling awkwardly. "Not really."

“Good! Then I'll have someone to do sun bathing with.”

I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Really, Rosie, you could try it, you might even like it!” Derek try to entice me.

"Really, Derek, you could place yourself butt naked on top of that board, as long as it's in the water deeper than three feet. I. AM. not going in." I say, emphasizing each word and then smile extra sweetly at him. It makes everyone laugh though and I relaxe a bit more.

"Okay then, let's go." Grace say.

“You got everything?” Derek me look at me and when I nod. “Could you grab Nikki's leash, please?”

“Absolutly.” I grab it from where it is on top of the dresser next to the door. Derek locks the house and retrieve the surfboard from the garage. We call Nikki and start walking towards the beach.

Grace and I fall into sync with Nikki at the end of the leash I'm still holding.

“You seem like a good girl, how did you get to know Derek?” She ask curiously. I laugh. Good girl?

"Well, I actually just met him yesterday."

She look at me in surprise, she probably wasn't prepared for that answer. We walk on for a while in silence and watch the others in front of us as they each walk with a board under their arm. Sophie looks even smaller with the big board under her arm. The contrast between her and the guys is huge, I wonder how she'll managed among the waves.

"Why don't you have a board like they do?-" I ask, looking at Grace.

"Well, I'm more like a computer type kind of girl, I guess..." she say and thinks for a moment "Waves aren't what I'm good at."

“Has Sophie done this for a while? She seems quite comfortable with the board.” I ask, looking at Sophie's back.

"Yeah, she's been surfing ever since she was a little kid. Her dad and mom are surfers, they took her out as soon as she could hold her breath for longer than half a minute and swim a bit. That’s actually how she and Adam met.” She smile the whole time when she tell me about Sophie and I get the feeling that it's not only the boys who are very close to each other.

“Oh, okay.” I hum while being surprised at how open and talkative she is after such a short time.

“And Hank?” I tease and I see a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Adam's my second cousin. Hank and I met on one of Adams birthday celebration-“ Her hand imitate an explosion “Boom, love at first sight.”

She probably see my wrinkled my nose as well as my smile.

"I know how it sounds. I thought the same when people said it to me before, but I really can’t imagine my life without Hank.” She look dreamily towards him, it is as if he knew she is talking about him because just then he turns and answer her longing with such a glowing look that I have to look away to keep from blushing.

We walk on in silence and before I know it we are on the beach. Nikki bounce and jumps next to me, apparently she likes the water as much as her daddy, although she probably spent a lot of time by and in the water.

Apparently Derek didn't even have to turn around to see Nikki's reaction he just say "Sit" and she sit down.

"Where should we sit?" Hank say looking meaningfully at Grace. Since it is she and I who aren't going in the water, we are the ones who decide.

"The usual place-" Grace look out among the people already gathered on the beach and it is a lot for being just before eight in the morning! Then she sigh. "That is if it's not taken."

It didn't seem like it is busy because Sophie rush over there with the rest of us behind. She is increadibly fast and before we get there she has already put on her wetsuit and put her long fair hair in a bun on her head.

"You guys are so slow!" she complain and start walking towards the water. Luckily, it didn't take long for the boys to pull on their wetsuits and chase after her. Derek turn and look at me, then Grace and Nikki.

"Take care of her." Then he look at me again. "You're sure you're okay with this?"

“Yes, go! Surf and swim with the killers of the sea. Just don’t die please!” I say and blush, I laugh and Grace does too. Derek then decide that I'm most likely perfectly fine with spending the morning at the beach and grin before turning and following the others.

Grace and I lay there chatting and watching the others while Nikki walk around us curiously watching the other people surfing, walking to and from the water and running around.

"If you could travel anywhere you would, where would you like to go?" Grace ask me with curiousity.

“Well, right now I'm completely happy being here. But I would like to go to Machu Picchu, Grand Canyon and Venice some day!”

“Yeah! Absolutley.” She say and smile.

“How about you? Where would you like to go?” I ask, smiling, as I stretch out in the sand.

"Well, on my honeymoon I would love to go to Europe someplace-"

“Are you engaged?” I interrupt but I realize I'm rude for interrupting. "I'm sorry."

"No, not yet, but we've been together for almost three years and I've got a feeling that he's built up the courage to ask now." She say, smiling ridiculously. She's truly in love with this human, still, after almost three years. Unbelievable. Although my parents had been together for more than twenty-five and my grandparents longer than that, so why am I so surprised.

I still had feelings for Arvid, it is probably not the same feelings though, he is no longer alive.

By the way, he would probably scold you for standing still when you should be alive internal Rosie grumble.

"That's great." I say, forcing a smile. I imagine myself piling all the hard and sad feelings into boxes and then pushing them away, at least for now.

I hear someone coming closer and then water drips on my bare legs. I cry out in surprise and Derek look down at me.

"Hi.” he smile.

Grace grin as Hank jog back and drops on her. Then she stops grinning. As we lay here in the warm morning sun, the water is insanely cold.

"What time is it, babe? I'm starting to get hungry.” Hank ask as he pull her up into a sitting position.

"She's 9:22."

“Breakfast time!” Derek yell over his shoulder to Sophie and Adam who comes in a slower pace.

"Wow, I haven't even thought about food." I say, almost worried about myself.

"Well, you're going to be jealous of the place we're taking you too, because there's no way you could have this at home!" Adam say as they come closer.

“Are you sure?” I ask mostly for the sake of the question.

"Yeah-" Hank say looking at Grace who is packing up her towel and other things "You don't have Grace's mom and dad."

I look at Grace in surprise. "We're going to your place?"

She laugh. "God no, that would be way to long a walk to go for breakfast! We’re going to my parents’ diner.”

“Do they actually own a diner?” I ask, delighted at the thought of visiting an American diner.

"Actually they own one diner, three restaurants and a grill."

I'm speechless, during the whole time we talked she hadn't mentioned it and now I have a lot of questions but decide to hang up and let it go.

"Oh, come on Rosie. It's no biggie. My parents are pro surfers and do some personal training with people-“ Sophie smile teasingly before continuing. "Adam's dad is an architect, and his mom is an interior designer. Hank's dad works at a bank and his mom, just like Derek's, have a lot of hobbies.”

“Right.” I would probably need a few minutes of digesting and questioning, but I say nothing as I gather up my towel and start to walk back towards the house with Nikki beside me. She's bouncing and is a happy furry ball. When we arrive Derek drop Nikki off inside the house and give her another scoop of food and make sure the AC that is in the house is on.

"It looks like it's going to be warm today. I would take her with me but I think it’ll be better for her here.” He say to me because the others had stayed outside. "I won't lie, I would like to stay here with you but that would be really rude and I guess you're hungry now."

”Yeah it kind of is and I’d appreciate some food.” I say both amused and a little grumpy.

We lock the door and join the others as they've started walking without us, we walk for about ten minutes. Then we apparently arrive, we stop outside a building in white, it didn't look like much, but the big windows reveal that it is quite full inside.

We go inside, a waitress walks by with a whole tray full of plates that smell wonderful. I see pancakes, eggs, both scrambled and hard boiled and orange juice. I smell toast and fried food. The atmosphere is familiar. Lots of tables with children, adults and young people talking and laughing everywhere.

There is a long counter and behind it a window like opening so you can see into the kitchen. The interior is bright woodsy and behind the counter stands a woman with brown hair up in a messy bun, pale pink sweater, pouring coffee.

"Mom-" Grace say and the woman looks up and smile friendly, she see the rest of us and beam.

"Grace! Hank! And friends! You go upstairs and I will send Charlotte up in a minute. Grace, honey, your dad just left to go to the grill.”

“Okay, see you later alligator.” Grace reply before leading the way towards a staircase that take us up a floor where there is an atrium. The floor is dark wood and the walls are light in color with large windows. You can see far, and below I see more tables that belong to the diner given that the waitresses wear the same clothes and carry similar trays with breakfast.

“This place is great!” I say impressed.

"Told you." Adam says a little too superiorly.

“Nothing like this in Sweden huh?” Grace ask curiously.

“No place that I've been to anyway.” I breath out still mesmorized by the view, two thirds of the view is towards the city and the other is towards the sea.

We sit down and I enjoy my company talking about the surf and what to eat, I pick up the menu that is closest to me. It is so nice to just exist here and now, just have myself to take care of, a nice relaxation, not always having to know where the toilet is, how long it would take before it is time. But at the same time I miss it, it is my life and it's the one I chose myself.

“Rosie.” I wake up from my musing and notice that Derek is trying to talk to me.

"Yeah, yeah?" I blurt out.

"Have you looked at the menu?"

"No-" I say and feel my cheeksgetting hot. I soon decide on a tomato and ham toast. With that I want a big glass of orange juice.

"Good choice." Grace say. "I think I will have the orange juice too."

As soon as the waitress comes we order and she seem to get along with Grace so I relax comfortably straight away. Grace seem like a very smart and nice girl.

Derek look at me as I try to sneak a peek at him. I smile when I'm caught and he smile back. Then we look at each other for a while.

”Rosie and Derek, hello, Earth is calling.” Adam says, I get the feeling he likes to tease a lot.

“Leave them alone.” Sophie scold meakly and with uninterest.

"Okay, you guys, here comes your food." Say the waitress who come up the stairs and take trays out of the dumbwaiter.

I hadn't even noticed that there was a dumbwaiter, but it's super clever! You minimize accidents in the stairs.

"What a clever idea!" I say.

Hank smile proudly and takes Grace's hand and kiss it. "It was actually Grace's idea."

Grace shake her head at him. "I was working in a class at school how to improve service to customers in general and was looking at some movie with Hank."

“I believe it was Spiderwick.” Hank laugh heartily.

“Whatever the movie or reason-” Say the waitress “It's brilliant!”

I put the first bite of food in my mouth and moan in delight, the others laugh and we continue eating our fantastic breakfast. Then we sit and talk. When the time hits 11.20 we decide it is time to get going.

"So-" Derek say as he fall into pace with me. "Do you have anything definitive things you want to see in LA?"

“The Hollywood sign, Dodger Stadium, Santa Monica Pier and UCLA.”

He frown when I say Dodger and UCLA.

"Never figured you'd be into baseball." He say with amusement.

"It's a-" Hm.. how did I explain that it was Arvid who always wanted to go there and see at least one baseball game. Not that I wanted to see one. But just to go there for his sake, that´s what I wanted to do. "Favor to an old friend. He always wanted to go and see a game there...”

Unfortunately, I can't finish the sentence without stuttering. I see as understanding dawn on Derek because his features soften and he doesn't say anything for a while. We keep walking back towards the house so the others could grab their boards and we can shower and change.

”Did you get to say goodbye?” he ask quietly and I know who he is referring to. I just can't really make myself answer. The last thing I did say to Arvid was for him to leave me alone. I had been standing so many times in front of his memorial plaque in the cemetery and to apologize but it never felt real. I had gone there every anniversary, on his birthday and sometimes just beacuse.

Light a candle only to end up standing there for a while. Sometimes I talk. Nothing ever feels enough..