Chapter Four
919 Words
MASHA
Unable to sleep, I decided to roam around the apartment
I needed answers. I couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine, that Matt loved me and that we had a future.
I needed to know what he was hiding, why he kept insisting we remain a secret.
Without thinking, I walked straight to his study, the one room he had always kept locked, the one place I had never been allowed to enter.
I stood in front of the door for a moment, my hand resting on the doorknob. Part of me was terrified of what I might find, but I had to know. I had to see what he had been hiding all these years.
The door creaked open, and I stepped inside, my heart pounding harder and harder. The room smelled of leather and him. The man I loved but kept shredding my heart to pieces. I walked slowly, taking in the space, until my gaze landed on his desk and what I saw froze me in my tracks.
There, sitting on top of the papers, was a photo of Matt and Jane. They were smiling, their faces so close and perfect together.
It felt like a punch to the gut.
I picked up the photo, my fingers trembling, as the world around me began to spin.
How long had this been hidden? Had he ever moved on? So it was true I was just warming his bed while he waited for his princess!
The pain in my chest grew as my heart felt like an Iron hand was squeezing me painfully and brutally! I couldn’t breathe.
My world was crumbling. Everything I was fighting for was a lie. An illusion and this couldn’t go on anymore.
So I decided to put an end to this madness.
I reached for my phone. My hands shook as I unlocked it, my thoughts a blur. I found my brother’s number and pressed the call button.
“Mashenka?” his voice came through the line,
Tears fell down my cheeks but I hardened my voice as I spoke
“Hi,” I responded. “I’ve made up my mind about the arranged marriage. I agree.” I said.
There was a pause on the other end before he spoke again,
“Masha Kirovsky. Did someone mess with you?” Nik's voice reached my ears. He sounded concerned, the usual fire he carried around him warming up my phone.
How I wish I could just tell him everything. But a part of me was ashamed. I let a man use me for seven f*****g years!
How pathetic was that?
I swallowed hard, forcing the bitterness in my throat down along with the tears threatening to spill. “No,” I lied, my voice trembling despite the lighthearted tone I tried to force into it. “I’ve just figured it out. If I’m going to get married anyway, so does it matter to whom?”
Silence stretched over the line before Nik spoke again, his voice softer this time.
“Are you sure? This isn’t like you, Mashenka. You said you had something to tell me the last time we spoke, was this what you wanted to say?” He asked and the question felt like a stab to the heart because it was a reminder of how naive I was.
I was so sure Matt would propose that I told my brother I had news to share with him but here I was, socking in my own tears with a heart that hurts like it has been ripped open with a knife blade.
Exhaling slowly, I closed my eyes as I let my fingers trail over the edge of the desk, where the photo of Matt and Jane still lay like a taunting ghost of his love, mocking and laughing in my face at how much of a fool I was.
“Yes. Besides,” I continued, pushing past the ache in my chest, “I trust Mom and Dad’s judgment. Even if it’s an arranged marriage, I’m sure the candidate has been thoroughly thought through by you all.”
He let out a relieved sigh, but I could sense his lingering suspicion.
“I'll ask again, are you sure? Because once we start the process there is no going back.” Nik warned, still hesitant.
“I’m sure. Is it so hard to believe?” I snapped, I know it was bratty of me but I couldn’t help it.
“No, Mashenkal. I’m glad you’ve figured it out. When are you coming back? Do you want to meet him before making the final decision?”
I tightened my grip on the phone, the photo crumpling slightly in my other hand.
“No need,” I said firmly, looking at the photo one more time before placing it back and walking back to my room.
“The sooner we agree, the sooner the war can be resolved. You can start preparing for the wedding, and let’s set the date for a week from now.” I said, burying my body on my bed, careful not to temper with my injured hand.
“I'll give you ten days to think it through. If you'll still want to get married after that then that's fine with me.” He said.
I knew he thought I was being reactive and maybe I was but there was no coming back from this.
“Deal.” I responded. Knowing he was just delaying the inevitable.
- Writer
