Paper Flowers

Chapter One

5 years ago...

March

"Hoy, Gino. Buksan mo na dali!"

Mistulang bituin ang mga mata niya habang pinagmamasdan ang bagay na nasa mga palad ko. Nakabalot ito ng asul na gift wrap. Parihaba ang hugis at sakto lang ang laki. Sinlaki siguro ng apat na pancit canton na pinagpatong-patong.

Iniabot kanina ng isang Grade 11 student na lalaki. Hindi ko kilala dahil hindi naman nagpakilala, ni hindi rin binanggit kung kanino galing. Ngayon lang din ako nakatanggap ng kahit na ano. Kaya nabigla ako nang may matanggap akong 'regalo'. Pero sana lang ay hindi ito prank.

"Mamaya na. Mas excited ka pa sa akin eh," Inirapan ko siya.

"Sa'yo ba?" Pagpapatuloy ko.

Pinagkrus niya sa dibdib ang dalawang kamay.

"Eh bakit ba?" Aniya saka taas ng kaliwang kilay. Napailing na lang ako sa ginawa niya.

She is Kairine, seatmate ko. Source ng tsismis at papel, and kasama ko sa pagha-hunting ng mga pogi. But we're not that close to being labeled as friends.

I know it sounds weird, but I only treat her as someone I know. Bukod sa tsismis at kapilyuhan ay wala na kaming ibang bonding. I don't like people. I always have this huge wall that separates me from others. I was fine having it: nasanay na ako.

I find peace inside these walls. And I am okay with that. Besides, ganon din naman ang trato ng iba sa akin. I don't have a definite circle of friends. It's just me almost all the time. And that's fine with me also. There's nothing wrong with that.

"Mamayang uwian ko na bubuksan," Wika ko at saka isinilid ang hawak sa bag.

"Hmp! Makalimutan mo pa eh." Saad niya saka tumabi sa mga kaibigan niyang nagkukumpulan malapit sa bintana.

Pinagmasdan ko sila.

Masayang nagkukuwentuhan. Sabay-sabay ang matatamis na hagikgik na nagpapasingkit sa mga mata nila. Their energy radiates inside the room. I found myself laughing, too.

Nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi ko nang makaramdam ako ng kakaibang emosyon. Emosyong bihira ko lamang maramdaman.

I felt jealous of that scene.

What does it feel like to be in their place? Will I ever get the chance to have what they have? Will I ever have friends like them? Makararanas din ba ako ng ganiyang uri ng samahan?

I shook those questions out of my mind. Saka pa 'yong espasyong sasaklawin ng mga ito. Maybe I'll think of those later on. Possibly not? I just shrugged it away and focused on reading.

After another tiring day at school, I decided to walk straight home. Malapit lang din ang tinutuluyan namin; walking distance lang. Plus, traffic din kapag ganitong oras kaya matatagalan lang ako kapag magko-commute pa.

"Kain tayong fishball," Napalingon ako sa nagsalita sa tabi ko. Umakbay siya sa akin gamit ang kanang kamay.

"Libre mo." Pagpapatuloy niya. Ngumisi pa siya saka itinaas ang mga kilay ng ilang beses.

It was Nico, a fellow STEM student. Grade 12. We are both officers sa club na sinalihan namin that's why we know each other somewhat. Sometimes, nagkakasalubong kami palabas kaya nagsasabay kaming umuwi.

He is taller than me, well maybe half a foot. Maganda ang build ng katawan. His eyes were deep brown. Thick, bold eyebrows paired with long lashes. His hair is short on the sides and long on top, ending just above his brows. May suot din siyang salamin. That sums it up.

"Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo!" I hissed. He just laughed hysterically kaya napalingon ako sa paligid. Baka pinagtitinginan na kami ng madla.

"Chill, boss," he said while waving his hands in front.

I scoffed, then shook my head. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad, ignoring him. But he persistently followed me. Sometimes gesturing for me to walk on the other side of the sidewalk.

"Dito ka maglakad para 'di ka mahagip ng sasakyan, sabi." Utos niya sabay hawak sa magkabilang balikat ko at iginiya sa kabilang parte ng kalsada.

"Bakit ba? Gusto ko nga dumaan diyan," Balik ko imbes na magpasalamat. Pakialamero.

Huminto siya sa paglalakad kaya huminto rin ako. Tinitigan niya ako bago bumuntong-hininga. "Ang lalim naman ng buntong-hininga mo," Hirit ko kaya napailing siya at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

Mas matangkad siya sa akin kaya mas mahaba ang mga hakbang niya. Ganunpaman, nagtagumpay pa rin akong maabutan siya.

Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad. Pababa ang daan at nasa mataas pa kami na parte kaya kitang-kita ang kahabaan ng national highway, ang mga sasakyang naiipit sa traffic, mga street lights na isa-isang nagsisindihan, at ang papalubog na araw na nag-iiwan ng gintong liwanag sa paligid.

Ang kalangitan ay parang nagkukuwento ng isang maganda ngunit masakit na nobela. Pinaghalong lila, asul, pink (kalimbahin), at kahel ang mga kulay nito. Mayroon na ring mangilan-ngilang bituin na sumisilip mula sa kalawakan.

Tumigil ako sa paglalakad saka nagsalita. "Ang ganda talaga. Sobrang ganda."

Napalingon ako nang marinig ang kaniyang pagsang-ayon. "Oo, sobrang ganda."

-----

"Ano kayang laman nito?" Bigkas ko habang pinagmamasdan ang bagay na natanggap kanina.

Unti-unti kong tinanggal ang gift wrap na nakabalot dito. Medyo naiintriga na rin ako sa maaaring laman ng kahong bumungad sa akin. Nang buksan ko ito, sumalubong ang puting bulaklak. It was a tulip made out of paper.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Sino naman nagbigay nito. Ang korni, ha." A thought came to mind but I shrugged it off. He would never. Why would he?

Ibinalik ko na lang ito sa kahon at itinago. If they're somewhat trying to win me over, this won't do. Nagsasayang lang sila ng oras. I'm not even interested in entering a romantic relationship, let alone making attachments with people.

The reason is one thing. It is exhausting.

Morning came as usual. We had two quizzes as breakfast kaya halos lahat ay hapong-hapo pagdating ng tanghalian.

I opted to go to the canteen to buy a light snack since hindi ako nagbaon. I ordered two sticks of bananacue and a bottle of iced tea. Umupo ako sa pinakadulong mesa, kaharap ang bintanang tumatanaw sa forest park.

Students slowly flock to the canteen. It is my cue to go as I despise crowded places; it is suffocating, really.

Hinarang ako ng isang student. "Kuya para sa'yo raw po." He handed me a box; neatly wrapped using pink paper.

"Kanino galing?" I asked bago sila makaalis.

"Hindi raw po puwede sabihin eh," Sagot niya sabay kamot sa ulo.

"Ah, ganon ba..." A thought came to mind. This might stop this person.

"Sabihin mo ang korni niya tapos ang pangit niya pa." Nanlaki ang mga mata niya.

"Okay po." Saad niya saka umalis.

The following days came smoothly as usual. Today's Monday and we are preparing an event for next month. It was a school-based math competition. Being the PIO of the club, I am tasked with the publication materials that will be posted on the school's bulletin board as well as the club's social media profile.

"Kindly check this, Pres.," I gestured to him para lumapit. He arranged his glasses before walking towards me. Katapat ko siya, actually. Instead of just adjusting the laptop to face him, he was the one who adjusted.

"That's good," Sambit niya saka ipinatong ang palad sa kamay kong nakahawak sa mouse. His left hand is pinned on the table. From an outside perspective, it's like he was hugging me.

"How about the other one?" He scrolled down and clicked on something...while still holding my hand.

"Almost done." Muntik na akong mautal.

I turned my head to face him. We were just inches away. I can also smell his perfume; sweet and addicting. It's vanilla.

My face heated up. This is bad. This is not me.

"Alas, tawag ka ni Andrei." Nico barged in. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag, but his smug face caught me. Aasarin niya na naman ako. I can feel it already.

Tristan immediately responded. "Sure, bro. Nasaan ba siya? Bakit daw?"

"I dunno. Puntahan mo sa ABM Building 2." Utos ni Nico na tinanguhan ng isa.

Tristan faced me before heading out. "Sabay na tayong umuwi. Wait for me here."

"Okay," I said with a straight face. Hapon na rin and wala naman akong kasabay.

Time passed by and nasa tricy na kami ngayon. Dadalawa lang kami, since most of the students have been home already. It's past five; the sun has already set and the sky begins to darken.

We were silent the whole trip. Nauna siyang ibinaba. He bid goodbye to me with a sweet smile. "Kuya ingatan niyo po iyan ha,"

I flinched as I heard it. Ibinilin niya pa talaga ako?! What's with him?

We do not know each other well, and ilang beses pa lang kaming nag-uusap at nagsasabay umuwi. It can be said that it's because he treats me as a friend, but are we friends? No. Actually, I don't know yet.

I took a deep sigh. I fished my phone out of my pocket to take a picture of the sky: stars were scattered in the purple and pink background. There are also a couple of cumulus and cirrus clouds.

When I was checking the pictures, a notification popped up.

"Text me when you get home."

_____ . _____

Paper Flowers, Chapter 1