Noelle: Between Love and Desperation

Cold Roads

“Ethan…” My voice broke before I could stop it.

He stood by the doorway, his shirt wrinkled, his face pale. His eyes — eyes I used to find warmth in — were now empty.

“Ethan,” I said again, forcing a weak smile. “Where’s Kuya Jaden?”

His jaw tightened. He looked away. “Why didn’t you listen, Noelle?” His voice trembled — low but sharp. “Your mom told you not to go.”

I blinked, confused. “W–what are you saying? Ethan, what do you mean?”

Before he could answer, another voice broke in.

“Mommy’s crying because of you!”

Drake’s voice — shaking, angry — cut through the silence. He stepped forward, eyes red from crying. “It’s your fault, Noelle! You never listen!”

“Drake!” Ethan warned, but it was too late. The words hit me harder than any wound could.

“No…” I whispered, shaking my head as tears filled my eyes. “Why are you saying that? I don’t understand. Ethan, please… tell me where Kuya Jaden is.”

The silence between them made my stomach twist. Neither looked at me.

Neither spoke.

“Ethan!” I cried out, louder this time. “Where is he?! Tell me!”

Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorraine Wake up!!

Mama Amelie’s voice broke through as her hand gently tapped my cheek.

My eyes slowly opened, and a long sigh escaped me. That dream again. No… it wasn’t a dream. It was real.

“Mama…” My voice cracked as I held on to her. “It should have been me.”

Tears rolled down my face, heavy and slow.

Mama Amelie pulled me close, rocking me gently. “Hush, hush,” she whispered. “I’m here.”

She stayed with me until my sobs grew quiet and I drifted back to sleep.

Amelie sat there for a moment, watching Lorraine’s face soften in slumber. Her heart ached as the thought came to her like a whisper.

Jaden… help your sister. Don’t let her struggle this much.

The next day late afternoon, a message lit up Lorraine’s phone.

I’m already here downstairs—I’ll wait for you and Tita Amelie.

It was from Ethan.

Today was the day. She was finally going back to the place that held both her happiest memories and her deepest heartbreak.

“Mama, are you ready? Ethan is waiting for us.”

Mama Amelie stepped out of her room, dressed in a white and navy Dior mid-length shirt dress, her black hair tied neatly.

Lorraine’s eyes widened. “Wow, Mama, look at you! You’re so beautiful in that dress—you don’t even look fifty!”

Amelie laughed softly and pulled her into a hug. “Oh, Lorraine, stop it. You are the one who’s more beautiful.”

Lorraine smiled, “Of course I should be. I want to impress Ethan. Look—this sheer, long-sleeved black lace Dior gown with the slip, my sunglasses, and this mini Kelly bag. I have to stand out today. Ugh… if only my eyes weren’t so puffy, everything would be perfect.”

Amelie’s expression softened as she looked at her. “I’m happy that you’re happy, Lorraine.”

“Hand in hand, they walked out together, stepping into the soft glow of the late afternoon outside Jaden Crest Residence.”

We saw Ethan leaning on his Audi Q8 e-tron, the soft afternoon light tracing his face. He looked striking in his midnight Tom Ford suit—effortless, calm, and almost too perfect to look at for long.

“Hi, Ethan,” I greeted first, my voice lighter than I intended.

But instead of answering, he only opened the car door and reached inside. He pulled out a bouquet of fresh flowers, their colors bright against the gray of the street.

Oh my God, is that for me? I thought, my cheeks warming as I watched him.

“Tita Amelie, it’s been too long,” he said, handing her the flowers and leaning down to kiss her cheek. “You look even younger than the last time I saw you.”

My face turned red. I really thought it was for me…

“Oh, you flatter me, Ethan. Thank you. It really has been so long—I’m glad to finally see you again.”

“Sorry, Tita, for the late welcome,” Ethan replied, his tone respectful. “I’ve just been so busy with the last PBA finals.”

“No, you’re fine, Ethan. I don’t mind. I appreciate you giving us your time. And as for these flowers, you really shouldn’t have bothered".

Lorraine Interrupted them.

“How about me, Ethan? Where’s my flower? And my kiss?”

He turned to me then, his eyes scanning me from head to toe. His face was serious, cold even.

“What’s with your clothes?” he asked flatly. “We’re going to the province, not a fashion event. Don’t you think it’s too revealing?”

I lifted my chin. “Why is it my dress that bothers you—or my body figure? Either way, it’s fine. Because it’s my intention to distract you.”

His jaw tightened, frustration showing on his face.

“Ahem.” Mama Amelie cleared her throat, trying to break the tension. “I think that’s enough. Let’s go and hit the road. For sure, traffic will be heavy.”

Thirty minutes on the road, Ethan kept his eyes on the drive. Mama Amelie was asleep at the back, her head resting against the seat.

I broke the silence. “Ethan, you said Dianna is getting married?”

“Yeah,” he answered shortly.

“Wow, that’s good to know. When is she getting married? Do you think I can visit her so I could give her a gift?”

He glanced at me, then back to the road. “This Sunday. If you really want to, I’ll let her know. But don’t just show up without me telling her first.”

“Uhm, yeah, sure. How about Grandma? When can I visit her?”

“Tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll let her know so she won’t be shocked.”

I hesitated. “Will you be there tomorrow, Ethan?”

This time he turned his head, looking at me with a calm but firm face. “Why are you asking, Lorraine? You said your purpose in coming to Zambales is for vacation, right? So I don’t think I have something to do with your plan.”

“Well, since I’ll be at your mansion tomorrow, why don’t we have a simple lunch or dinner with Grandma?” I asked, trying to sound light.

Ethan shook his head. “No, Lorraine. I don’t have time. I’ll be checking a land I want to buy, and I’ll be visiting my mother too.”

“Uhmm… can I join you then, Ethan?”

He turned to me, his eyes sharp. “Lorraine, let me be clear—I drove you to Zambales because I had my own reason to come here. Not because I wanted to be with you.”

His words cut deep, but I forced a smile. “But Ethan, that’s not what it felt like last week.”

He let out a breath. “No, Lorraine. Don’t twist things. You argued with your family, and the things you said were unreasonable. One more word from your mom and you were already about to cry.”

My chest tightened. “So what, Ethan? You only came because you pity me?”

His jaw tightened. He kept his eyes on the road, his voice flat. “Let’s keep our distance, Lorraine. It’s better that way.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have volunteered, Ethan. I could’ve just asked the family driver.”

Lorraine’s voice was sharp, but Ethan didn’t answer. His face stayed calm, his eyes fixed on the road.

The car grew quiet. After a while, Lorraine leaned back and drifted off to sleep.

Her sunglasses slid down, showing her tired eyes. Puffy, restless. Ethan glanced at her when the car stopped in traffic.

She hasn’t been sleeping well…

His eyes lingered on her face. Her nose, her lips, the shape of her cheeks. Too thin, too pale.

You don’t even eat properly, do you?

He looked away quickly, fingers tightening on the wheel.

Why am I even noticing this?

“Ethan—” Amelie’s voice startled him.

He shook his head. “Sorry, Tita. I was just… nothing.”

Amelie smiled softly. “You may not see it, Ethan, but she’s held on to you all these years.”

Ethan stayed quiet, but for a moment, his chest felt heavy as the traffic began to move again.