Illegal My Ass

CHAPTER 4

I finally reached the far side of the smoking area, walking a little around the corner, so I was finally on my own and not surrounded by swarms of people. Jesus, being around this many people all at once really was a lot to f*****g handle.

I barely managed to take a breath when I heard a slight moaning, making me realize I was not as alone as I thought I was.

I turned my head to look at where the noise was coming from and my brows shot up in surprise.

The brunette who I saw earlier, the hot one who smiled at me and I almost blew my load there and then just from that.

Well, that girl was here in the quieter corner of the smoking area, her back was against the brick wall and she was making out with some dude who looked like he was having the time of his freaking life.

I tilted my head as I looked over at them, not quite believing that a girl like that would settle for that surfer-like wanker who was currently running his hands up and down her hips looking so unskilled I almost felt sorry for the poor lad.

He didn't look like he really cared about making the girl get all hot under the collar, the speed his body was moving and twitching. You could tell he just wanted to get in and out, not to be vulgar.

Okay, I joke. I don't give a crap about being vulgar.

I resisted the urge to smirk as I noticed the girl clearly backing up my thoughts, because as he took his mouth off hers and began kissing her neck, she scrunched her face and looked annoyed at this kid's oblivion at how s**t he actually was.

Bear in mind, she looked bored and this was just the making out bit. I wanted to see her face if they ever got to the 'getting down and dirty' bit.

He continued to run kisses all down her neck, and she stared up at the sky, running her tongue along her top teeth as if trying to give the kid a chance to improve his skills.

I even saw her check her freaking nails at one point while the guy was clearly trying to get her as excited as he was. I let out a laugh.

Then the kid put his hands at the bottom of her dress and began to pull it up.

That's when she rolled her eyes and I could see she'd had enough. Either she never intended to go that far or she was fed up with a surfer boy, because she pulled his hands away and backed him up a little.

Neither of them noticed me, and I leaned against the wall behind me, getting more comfortable enjoying the show that was about to play in front of me. I grinned slightly in anticipation.

This should be fun.

"What's up? Why did you stop?" Surfer dude looked at her in confusion.

"Maybe cos' your hands were exploring more than Dora. I wouldn't have minded but Dora had a map and a compass so she knew where she was going. You, on the other hand, were like a tourist in the center of London. Lost as a f*****g fiddle."

The brunette responded, and I literally almost pissed my freaking pants.

She just literally owned that dude in 5 seconds. Damn, this girl is getting hotter by the minute.

The surfer boy was mad now, the way he was clenching his jaw made that clear. Clearly, someone just had a blow to his ego.

"You seemed like you were enjoying it." He replied through gritted teeth. I think he meant it as a comeback.

She let out a snort of laughter.

"Honey, believe me, that was not me enjoying it. While we were making out, I suddenly remembered I had a load of washing to do in the basket at home. That's how hot you were getting me."

Again, her reply almost had me rolling on the floor laughing my balls off. I put a fist over my mouth to stop the laughter. I didn't want them to spot me, which would mean this show would stop and I was REALLY enjoying myself right now.

"That's probably cos' you've had more experience than a hooker!" The Surfer boy spat back, and I resisted the urge to say, 'ohhhh, burn'.

The girl didn't even flinch from the insult.

"Probably. Either way, I'm clearly more experienced than you, so who's the real loser here?"

She was good, I'll give her that.

The guy's eyes were basically red with rage by this point, and the girl smiled at him sweetly before going to walk around him and finally ending their little encounter.

The guy however, was clearly not finished as his hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back, her back hitting the wall again. He put his hand next to her head, trapping her between the wall and him.

She rolled her eyes.

"How about I show you just how experienced I am princess." He hissed in her face.

"Would rather go home and watch two and a half men, to be honest," She replied honestly.

I freakin' love that show. I wonder if it's still running after these last 2 years?

Christ, I felt like an alien who had just landed on planet earth. He didn't reply, probably cos he literally had no comeback and had given up trying to show the girl up because, let's face it, she was killing him when it came to the banter. Instead, he just crushed his lips back onto hers.

I swear the girl actually rolled her eyes again, before pushing him away. He didn't take the hint and again forced his lips on her, only this time she was attempting to push him away and he wasn't budging.

That's when I stopped finding it funny.

The girl clearly wanted him to stop, her thrashing body and her hands pushing at his chest made that obvious, but that surfer wanker was not letting off her lips for anything.

I sighed and pushed myself off the wall, realizing the first night I get released is going to end in me somehow breaching my probation and getting into a fight with this shark f*****g asshole.

Just something I was going to have to risk as I wasn't sitting by and watching him force himself on that girl.

I barely took 2 steps towards them when it suddenly dawned on me that maybe I wasn't needed after all.

The girl's knee flew up with so much strength I even flinched a little when it finally made contact with her target.

Surfer dude's balls.

He instantly pulled away from her lips, the air leaving his lungs and his face slowly turning a bright red as his hands went to his balls.

I even let out a breath at that, I was kicked in the balls.

Believe me, painful does not even describe it.

They should make up a new word for it just to show people how much it hurts.

The guy barely had a chance to actually cup his balls before the girl sent her fist flying to his face. She then kicked her foot against the bottom of his left leg, and again I let out a breath.

That chick was wearing heels. That's gotta hurt.

He collapsed onto the floor, his hand going to his leg now and leaving his ball area unprotected.

Bad move.

She raised her knee and crushed her foot down onto his balls one more time. Again I would like to point out the fact this girl wears heels. I hope for his sake the actual heel didn't hit the testicular area, cos damn I think I would rather put my hand in boiling water than go through that.

Then I remembered he was a pig who tried to force himself on her, so I sort of hoped she would skewer his left nut with her heel.

The girl brushed the bottom of her dress, looking as calm as ever.

She didn't look like someone who had just almost been raped at the back of the club, or someone who just probably stopped a man from ever reproducing.

She looked calm as hell.

I must have been laughing to myself as I replayed the whole scene in my head when she finally lifted her head and spotted me there.

She froze slightly, before stepping over the guy who was still not breathing properly and taking a few steps towards me.