Mate revealed

You're not the only one.

He strode towards her, his legs eating up the distance easily.

Ester’s heart lurched painfully “Luca” She murmured again hoarsely.

Mine…the voice breathed. Ester felt that same possession bleed into her. 

He didn’t pause. His beautiful face carved in determination. Ester backed up, her eyes glued to his intimidating figure, until her back was against the far wall. Her legs shook. Breath stuttered.

His feet echoed as they hit the wooden floor. Ester could hear her heart. 

Her breath was ragged. His chest falling and rising sharply with his own. Without a moment’s hesitation he pressed himself against her. She was trapped between him and the wall. 

In that moment her body buzzed from the contact. He pressed himself closer still. Luca's smell invaded her senses. Her stomach quivered. 

His one hand wound around her wrists, his touch burned, pulling her hands above her head. His other hand pulled her up. Her legs circling around his waist without a thought. 

“Luca” she breathed against his mouth. A low growl vibrated from this throat. His tongue pushing into her.

More…

Unlike the first time, Luca was not gentle. Ester didn’t care. Her hands were released, and frantically they roamed his back, still damp with rain droplets. 

Luca we’ve missed you so much…

Their bodies were stuck together, heat licked where they touched. His hands firm on her neck, her waist. His lips unforgiving.

Suddenly all warmth vanished. Her feet touched the cold wood once more as she was unceremonious dumped. And he was gone. 

No!

“f**k!” He roared. His hands bunched in his hair “f**k f**k f**k” he spat. Without a second glance at her, Luca lurched back out the front door. 

Silence defend heavily. Ester’s hand went to her throat. 

Puddle surfaces trembled slightly with rain droplets as she raced out to chase him.

“Luca wait! Please” But her words were eaten up by the sound of the rain. Luca’s back retreated into the trees, and just as Ester was about to follow, something happened in the blink of an eye.  Something impossible. Something magical. Something heart-wrenchingly horrifying…To Ester. 

His movements slowed, as if Ester’s mind couldn’t make sense of Luca’s movements, half obscured by the trees and shrubs. He crouched down, like an Olympic sprinter starting a race. Ester waddled closer, the gravel biting beneath her bare feet. His skin seemed to change colour. Shadowed. Darkened. The bones beneath undulating – changing shape. 

Goosebumps erupted across her skin. Rain hung from her lashes, falling into her eyes. She shook them away. Looked away for a moment, and hair was sprouting from his skin. 

“No, no no no no” Ester chanted to herself. She closed her eyes. 

This is just my mind – this is not real, she thought. It’s just in my head. 

She opened her eyes again

Wolf…

A hide of black fur slunk away, deeper into the foliage, before she couldn’t see it anymore. 

                        *                                  *                                  *

Ester pushed open the surgery front door, only a minute early. 

Patricia’s voice sung from inside “Morning Est- Oh Ester!” she leaped from behind her desk, her auburn hair bouncing as she moved. 

‘Hi” Ester’s own voice made her cringe – it sounded brittle, fragile. 

“Oh Ester, are you ok sweetie? You don’t look too well.” Patricia stood before her, hunkering down to Ester’s level. 

“I’m fine Patty, just a little tired, that’s all”

“Well, if you say so” But she continued to stand there, a frown marring her features “Just let me know if you’re not Ester, I can rearrange appointments – just give me a shout” Patricia’s voice tailed behind her as she walked towards her own office, the words soaked in worry.

Ester could only dip her head in acknowledgement before he shut the door behind her. The morning was slow, pulling itself along as each new patient entered and left Ester. The world outside the window was blustery, leaves danced in the wind, trees jived from side to side, the sky was miserable patchwork of bruises.  

By lunchtime, Patricia burst into the room, “Have you got lunch today?” She asked – Ester could tell by her tone that she was about to tip into ‘I’m taking no s**t’ shortly. 

Ester nodded, an apple and a buttered piece of toast in foil loosely classifying as ‘lunch’ but it was all she could be bothered to make this morning. 

“Good” Then she skipped to Ester, and pulled her by the elbow “Now you’re going out – and don’t even try to fight me on this” She warned, raising her brows as she took in Ester’s face, “I know the weather is trash but it’s not raining and you could do with some fresh air, go to the park or something. Just don’t sit in here all day”, her hand flippantly gesturing to Ester’s consultation room, before depositing her at the front door. 

Ester smile faintly, “Thanks Patty”

Patricia’s ‘no s**t’ expression softened at this. “You’ll welcome” she turned back to the office. 

Ester stepped onto the pavement and let the breeze ruffle her hair for a moment, taking a deep breath. 

“Ester?” 

She turned, “Dr Collins?” watching her getting out of her car. Ester hadn’t even realised she hadn’t been in the surgery. 

“Just got back from a house call” She answered Ester’s unspoken question. She straightened out her shirt and then eyed Ester from toe to crown, ‘Patty say’s you’re not doing so well.”

“I’m fine, just a little tired”

Dr Collin’s eyes narrowed. Did she smell a rat, or was she taking in the dark bags which hung beneath Ester’s big eyes? “Not sleeping?”

“No.”

Dr Collins signed, her face distorting into one of light concern “Ester, is there anything else?”

Her heart skipped a beat. 

Was this the moment, Ester thought? The moment Ester should tell Dr Collins about the voices, about the wolves, about Luca turning into a wolf, about the cracked mirror that was still in Ester’s room, the bench, the boiling water down her leg, her mother in the car. 

These moments all tangled together. Heaviness settled over her chest and a lump formed in her throat. 

But most of all, about how frightened she was, that she was losing herself to this illness. She was struggling to extricate herself from it. 

Ester opened her mouth – “I-“

“Helena, could you speak to this person please!” Patricia’s voice echoed from within. 

Ester shut her voice. Annoyance flickered in Dr Collins eyes momentarily before changing back. 

In an uncharacteristic move, she suddenly grasped Ester’s hands in one of hers “I’m here Ester, all you’ve got to do is knock on my door, call my cell or drop me a message, ok?”

Ester nodded numbly. Dr Collins turned and left Ester on the pavement, before she shook herself off and turned to towards the park. 

The clouds look murderous above the park, but they held. Ester ate her apple but didn’t bother unwrapping the rest. 

The field before her as once again empty. Birds dived in and out of the trees at the bottom. 

The bench dipped slightly as someone sat on the other end. Ester chanced a quick glance. And a woman, with a blond bob perched there. Her eyes stared straight ahead. She nibbled her lips, and her hands on her lap fidgeted.

She then turned to Ester. “Hi” She murmured quietly.

Ester smiled back awkwardly.

“I’ve been waiting for a moment to catch you alone” 

“Pardon?”

This girl signed “Sorry this is going to sound weird”

“Did Patty send you?”

“Er – No, sorry.” She grimaced. “Let me start again: Hi, I’m Emma” She held her hand out, which Ester shook instinctively. Her hand was small, dainty. Her fingernails were painted pale green. 

“Ester” She replied. 

A moment of silence fell on them. Ester bite into her apple, a drop of juice rolled down her chin. Ester swallowed and broke the quiet: “So, sorry, why have you been waiting to catch me alone?”

“I saw you at Darkthroat.” She said simply.

“The other day?”

Emma nodded “I live there too”

“So you know Luca?”

“Uh-hu” Emma confirmed “That’s actually why I wanted to speak with you.”

“Oh,” Ester took another bite of her apple. She, Emma, wanted to talk about Luca? Was she is girlfriend? Lover? Ex? Oh God, Ester thought, what have I done? Was Ester a homewrecker now? Was she chasing after someone else’s man? Wait – she wasn’t chasing him necessarily, only in her head, and when she was day dreaming, when she was asleep…

She looked down at her converse “I don’t really know him. I’ve just bumped into him a couple of times”

“Halfway up the Darkthroat track?” Emma questioned, but not unkindly.

Ester squirmed “Well not then, no.” Pause “So, are you here to warn me off of him? Because you’ve already been beaten on that one. Anyway.. I’m not – he’s not, it’s not like that, I don’t think. He’s not interested”. But the fevered kiss Luca had given her last night told her differently. 

“Oh” Emma murmured “No, I wasn’t going to say that…”

“Oh”

Emma frowned “Why do you think he’s not interested?”

“He told me”

They were quiet for another moment. 

“I’m sorry, but this feels odd, I don’t know you and yet your-“

“I know” Emma smiled awkwardly “I’m sorry, I’m just concerned about Luca.”

Ester jumped “Why? What’s happened?”

“Oh nothing – he’s just been a little distracted recently. And I thought that maybe because of you?”

Dread them blossomed in the pit of Ester’s stomach. “Oh God, you’re not his girlfriend, are you?”

Then, quietly, Emma laughed. A small, delicate laugh as if she was trying to contain it. Eventually she shook her head

“No, no, of course not! Oh gosh, is that what you thought? No. He’s more of a… I don’t know how to put it, someone I look up to, someone we all look up to at Darkthroat. He means a lot to all of us.”

Us?God, was it really a cult?  “Right” Ester replied. “Does he know you’re here?”

“Oh no” She shook her head. The cult option was becoming stronger. “Look, this is going to sound really weird, but just bear with me for a moment, ok?”

Ester hesitantly bobbed her head. 

“You said everyone’s telling you to stay away from him. And I understand why, he doesn’t have the best reputation in the town, but he is a good man. He’s just had a difficult life. He’s not himself right now, and he’s making some questionable decisions. But I’m telling you not to give up on him. I think he needs you.”

“ He ‘needs me’? I don’t even know him” Ester stuttered. “I’ve only met him 5 times, and, and, and two of those times we didn’t even talk!” 

“Do you dream about him?” The question caught Ester off guard. She blinked away the images that that question conjured. Images of Luca in the cab of Stevie’s truck, images of him pulling her into his arms, images of him taking her hands in his, as she finished his stitches at the surgery. 

“What” Ester pushed herself back from him “That’s-“

“When he touches you, does it burn?” Emma interrupted. “And drive you crazy, you can’t think straight, or you almost know when he’s nearby”

Ester ran her hands through her hair. “How could you know that?” her voice was brittle and weak once more. 

Emma looked away again, the breeze toying with her short, sandy locks. “There’s more to this Ester, but I can’t tell you that. You just have to trust me on this”

We can trust her Ester…  The voice mumbled. 

“Trust you on what?”

“That you’re not going crazy, although it must seem like it.” The smile she offered Ester was quiet, kind and sympathetic. “That Luca needs you, despite what he says and does, he’s just doing what he thinks is best. And you, you’re going to need him to.” With that Emma stood, pulling a cap onto her short locks.

You’re not going crazy – those words hung in the air before Ester. She wished Emma was right. If only she knew. 

“Need me for what? I don’t understand. And how did you know that stuff, about how it feels?” Ester looked up at her from the bench.

Emma shrugged “You’re not the only” she said simply. And with that she stood and turned away. 

“Wait, can I have your number?”

Emma smiled, “I’ve got yours, I’ll text you”, and she walked away in the opposite direction to where Ester would eventually go. 

She wondered for a moment whether that conversation could be fiction too, but decided not. It had felt too real. And if that conversation where real, then so were the feelings she’d had whilst around Luca, the burning, the needto see him, feeling him close by – because how else could Emma know unless it was real? Unless she’s felt them herself?

Ester got herself into a tangle trying to organise and decompartmentalise the real from the fiction. The possibly real from the fiction.  

The rest of the day went by in a swirl of confusion. When not treating patients, Ester’s mind would wander back to Emma and her words. 

What was this ‘questionable decision’she spoke about? How had she got Ester’s number? How could she know that Luca needed her? And why her?!

He’d been rude, every time they’d met. On the pavement he’d made fun of her when she was obviously looking out for him. At the doctor’s surgery, he made it clear he hadn’t wanted her to stitch him up. At Darkthroat he’d threatened to call the police, then told her to stay away from him. 

But he’d also kissed her when he’d driven her home. Then he’d kissed her again last night. But he’d been so angry. Out of control.

There was definitely a part of this Ester couldn’t see, didn’t understand. Ester knew he couldn’t be a wolf, but there was something he kept hidden. Some reason he lived up a mountain, and the rest of town were scared of him. A reason why he wouldn’t let her go to Darkthroat.

Everything, everything pointed to crime, didn’t it? Ester remembered the ‘animal attack’ which could’ve been anything. And how had he known where she lived? How could someone that young afford Sam, a driver?  

Ester spent that evening wondering what she could do. Remus didn’t show up that night either, whether real or not. The forest crunched and cracked, and she decided to stay indoors, windows and doors firmly locked. 

The next morning Ester woke with a slightly less fuzzy head. In the reflection, the bags under her eyes still lingered, but they were less unseemly. Some colour had returned to her cheeks. 

She spent all day waiting for the right moment. At 5:02pm, Patricia called through to Ester “You ok to lock up Sweetie? Helena’s out on a house call!”

“Of course Patty, I’m just finishing up cleaning and I’ll leave”

“I can wait if you want?”

“Oh no no, get yourself home, I’ll be fine?”

“Ok well, if you insist, see you tomorrow sweetie!”

Ester waited for a moment, and listened to the stillness of the surgery. 

A particular idea had been swirling around Ester’s head rebelliously since Monday. She checked over her shoulders one last time, and then wrenched open the filing cabinets

·      Boran

·     Borden

·     Bordias 

·     Bordis 

·     Boreas

·     Borges 

·     Borghese

She didn’t need to take the file, this was something she’d already considered. She opened it on top of the other files, and make quick work of copying down what she needed to onto a yellow Post-it Note. 

Later that evening, after she’d locked up and rode her bike back under a brooding sky with nerves hatching in her stomach, she pulled the post-it Note out. 

Her hand trembled as she typed in the number, and she swallowed loudly as she listened to it ring once, twice, three times… until:

“Hello?” 

Ester’s mouth opened, and for a split moment she wasn’t sure she’d reply. 

“Hi Luca, it’s Ester..”