Mate revealed

Cults and drug cartels

“I won’t kiss you and run away again, I promise” His voice was strong, and she wondered what that statement actually meant, that he wouldn’t kiss her, or that he would, but he just wouldn’t run away this time?

And when she just continued to stand there, looking at his 4x4 like it was an alien spaceship he sighed, and slowly pushed her into the car. 

Numbly she complied, and watched as he leant in over her, reaching for the seatbelt. His face was so close to hers. His breath fanned across her face. He paused as if realising their closeness. His eyes pinned onto her. 

Her heart hammered. She was sure he could hear it. His gaze darted down to her lips, and once again her tongue slipped out to trace her bottom lip. 

His pupils dilated. Ester felt herself inch forwards. 

Mine… The voice purred. It was as if the voice stretched within, pushing her closer to him. 

She couldn’t know at that moment Lucca watched as her eyes flashed a golden colour. 

A ring cracked open the moment.

No. We need him Ester, I need him.The voice whined, elongating out the words like a petulant child. 

“s**t” Lucca mumbled, pulling himself out of Ester’s side of the car and digging his hand into his pocket.

Wow, had Ester been about to kiss him? Had she almost forgotten everything Penny had said, SHE had said not 20 minutes ago to him?!

Ester groaned to herself. I feel like such an i***t she thought. 

Not an i***t – it’s nature Ester…

He answered without salutation or affirmation it was him, but intently listened to the speaker. As she clipped in her seatbelt, she watched the tension creep back into his body. “Ok, I’ll be back in an hour tops”, and with that he ended the call and dipped into his side. She slapped her door closed. 

He didn’t look over at her whilst he drove back. He was a fast driver, over taking on the longer stretches of roads, accelerating where Ester would’ve slowed. But she didn’t feel out of control, she felt safe. She looked across at him, his face focused and hard. She wondered where his mind was, it wasn’t with her in the silent car. 

Some small part of her was hoping that they’d go passed the turning for the cabin and keep going towards Darkthroat. But, they didn’t. 

He pulled up outside. Her hand instinctively reached out to the door handled, before she thanked him.

“Wait.” He reached across her and pulled her hand away. Ester shook him and the fire off.

Spoilsport…The voice whispered venomously.

“I...” He sighed and ran a hand through his already disarrayed locks. 

“Lucca what’s wrong? You’ve been tense since that call?”

He raised a brow “I’ve been tense longer than that” He muttered wryly. 

She raised a brow at him, still waiting for a relevant answer. When none came, she exhaled angrily “Why won’t you just talk to me?” She burst.

“Why” He shot back, face set in anger “What difference would it make, you’re not getting ‘involved’ with anyone”

“Well maybe if you were all cloak and dagger about everything!” She snapped back.

Instantly, his expression became curious “Really, that’s the problem..?” Then he shook himself. “No… f**k” He beat his hands on the steering wheel, the horn going off once. “You can’t be around me, I came here to tell you that myself tonight.”

Hurt blossomed in her chest, she crossed her arms, trying to keep it together “If you don’t want me, then why the big deal?”

Within an instant her world was tipped sideways, his hands pulling at her, hauling her over. 

Her legs straddled his waist, his chest pulled into hers, his face almost level with her face, her hair wild across them both. 

“I never said I didn’t want you” He growled, his eyes flashing a different colour. Was that gold? Ester thought. She could feel the thump of his heart against her own. “I want you more than anything I’ve ever f*****g wanted” He bit out each word savagely.

Take us!Screamed the voice feverishly. Ester we need him…

Ester’s eyes went wide. He crashed him lips to hers. Rumbles vibrated up through his throat and into her mouth. 

She whimpered in response. Heaviness bleed into her lower half. His one hand wrapped around her neck, the other digging into her thigh. 

More… I need more Lucca,she pleaded quietly. 

“Always” He murmured against her lips. 

Had she said that out loud?! He pushed into her with more force, her back hitting the steering wheel. The horn ripped through the haze surrounding them. 

He split their bodies, leaning back in his seat. Running his hand through his hair one last time, he lifted her and gently placed her back into the passenger seat. “It’s not a question of wanting you” He commented quietly, a frown pulling between his brows. His hand reached out, and delicately brushed aside a golden strand from her face. “It’s about keeping you safe. It’s about you deserving better, more”

“No Lucca” Ester gripes. “I don’t care if it’s drugs, or some weird cult… I just… Well I would care, but we can work on it, I can help you get out”

“Drugs? Cult?” His tone and face quizzical, before it ruptured into a soul lifting laugh “You think I’m a part of a cult?”

She pouted, “Or a drugs cartel, you’ve given me no other explanations for your odd behaviour”

His laugher receded, but his eyes are still swimming with humour, as he said thoughtfully “I guess I haven’t”, his fingers still near her face, running up and down her jawline. Fire blazed in their wake. 

“And Emma said you’d need me, she said you were going through something and that I was the person who could-“

“Emma?” His hand stilled and she grimaced at her slip.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have said anything” s**t. s**t. s**t. Was Emma now in trouble?!

“When?”

“What?”

“When did you speak to Emma” he snarled. Ester flinched. 

“Er today?” Wow, was it really today she’d been sat in the park with bug eyes from crying so much the night before… “She’s not in trouble, is she? She was really n-“

“How many times?”

Ester frowned at him in confusion.

“How many times has Emma found you?” His anger was almost palpable. No more laugher in his eyes, no more gentleness in his touch, no more hunger in the body.

“Only the once, I’d never met her before today.”

Lucca closed his eyes. His jaw clenched and unclenched. His fists balled. 

“Lucca please don’t be angry with her, she was really sweet actually. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have said anything”. 

He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. When he next opened his eyes, his rage had, slightly, lessened.

“You won’t hurt Emma.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement – a command. He’d never been commanded before, not since his father had stepped down. She was the only one who could ever command him. 

He looked at her, taking in equal measures of fear and anger at war on her face. “Of course not. I need to go”

She nodded solemnly. And she needed to get away from his neck snapping mood swings, she thought.  

“But just to reiterate Ester” His voice remaining some control over his anger “There is no cult, no drugs cartel, but there is danger. I want you, but I don’t want you involved with me and our… my kind.”

Kind? What does that mean, she thought.

She picked at her nails for a moment. This had become confusing. They both wanted one another, and yet, there was something stopping them. For Ester it was worry over her mental health. For him it was some unseen danger. From Ester’s point of view, it was completely rational they shouldn’t be together, but then why did it feel like her heart was breaking?

“Ok” she murmured, too frightened to raise her voice any higher. She inwardly rolled her eyes, anger, confusion, lust, fear and now sadness. Who was the one having mood swings?

“Ester” He groaned her name like it was a prayer, as he tilted her chin up towards him. The warm tingled across her chin and down her throat. She gulped. “I’m sorry” He looked strained. “It’s better this way. I’ll stay away, I won’t interrupt your life anymore” His eyes were full of apologies. Full of regret. 

Her mouth turned down.  

“If you ever need anything, please, tell me. I’ll always come if you need me”

This is what she’d wanted, wasn’t it?

She nodded once more. He let his hand fall away from her then. The heat drained away from her skin. She reached for the door handle, numbly hearing his protests that he’d get it. But before he could she slid out and unlocked her front door. 

Ester text penny: I did it xx

Penny: Good girl. It’s better this way xx

That’s what he’d said too. 

Ester: It doesn’t feel like it. xx

She heard his tyres skid away, and the slight ache in her chest began to seep further into her ribcage. She doubled over. 

The voice inside her began to sob inconsolably. 

Penny: I’m sorry. Get yourself healthy, and then maybe try again. Next time it might be the perfect time... you never know. And anyway… You don’t need a boy to make you happy, you are strong, intelligent and beautiful. I love you xx

A tear dripples down her chin. “I’m pathetic” Ester muttered scolding. “I’ve only met him a handful of times, pull it together you wimp”

Ester: Love you, now go to sleep you crazy kidxx

Penny: Yes Ma’am – night night xxxxxx

Ester washed her face, cleaned her teeth and curled up beneath the duvet. 

She woke up, her eyes snagging on the silver light squeezing itself between the curtains. Light seemed to twinkle across her ceiling in an odd pattern. She pushed back the covers and tip toed across the floor. 

Pain. It splintered through Ester. She looked down. 

Crush glass lay scattered across the wooden floor. Light bounced around eerily, landing on the ceiling. The mirror which used to sit against the skirting-board was now devoid of any glass. 

Ester picked her way through the shards, red footprints left behind her. 

The curtains in the living room billowed and danced with the breeze. The front door was open. 

Goosebumps erupted across her skin, but she couldn’t feel them. She stood in the doorway, easily picking out shapes in the darkness. An owl, a field mouse, the sound of running water, the smell of a rabbit…

“Tabitha!” The name tore through the night. It came from the forest. 

Something white flashed through the trees, weaving between then like a ribbon. 

“Tabitha!” Again. The syllables almost burst out of themselves. Fear and agony clung to that one word like silt. 

Ester felt herself moving before she thought it. Grass under foot, and then leaves and tree roots, the debris from the forest floor. 

Moonlight stuttered between the tree trunks. Wisps of that white body were just ahead. 

Her heart was a drum.

“Wait” Ester tried to shout, but her voice didn’t come out right. It didn’t sound…

“She’s coming!” Urgency met with fear. 

Her lungs began to burn. The smell of the forest invading her nose.

It was a tail. A white tail, up ahead. 

It’s head turn as if checking she was behind. A wolf…? A white wolf. 

She halted and tripped. 

Round and round she fell. Until she stopped. Head facing the stars, canopies of leaves hung at the edge of the image. The stars spun. 

“I want you” A familiar voice whispered. Her blood heated once more.

Ester sat up. 

And there he was, bathed in moonlight. Behind him a lake, the light rippling on it’s surface. His beautiful face sharp, apart from those full lips. 

“I want you too” Another voice replied. 

Ester’s heart sunk as she spotted another figure. Her hair was dark, black, her eyes pale. Ester watched as this other woman reached out a hand to his chest, and felt her own break. 

Their faces were filled with love. Lucca pushed himself closer to his companion, curling an arm around her waist. 

“Lucca?” She tried again to verbalise something, but all that materialised was a wounded whimper. 

Their heads whipped around. The women grimaced at her, her lip rising in distaste.

Lucca’s expression however, was the nail in the coffin: revulsion, disgust, annoyance. 

“Get out of here beast. You don’t belong here” The woman spat. 

Ester was running again. But this time the ground seemed closer. 

She darted away from them, around the lake. Their laughter followed her like a ghost. 

Eventually, when her head was light, she slowed, and trudged into the shallows of the lake. Her mouth was dry. Her limbs sore.

Slowly, she bent her head drink – gold eyes. 

She drew back. It wasn’t her.

Her reflection rippled with her movements, but the creature that stared back wasn’t her. Wasn’t human.

It was a wolf. A white wolf.

 “Get out of here beast.”The woman’s words came back to her.

Ester started, bolted upright in her bed.

A sheen on sweat varnished Ester’s skin.

“Just a dream” She murmured. She could hear her heart. “Just a dream-“

Light danced strangely across her ceiling. She squeezed her eyes closed a moment before bracing herself to look onto the wooden floor.  

Crush glass lay scattered across the wooden floor. The mirror which used to sit against the skirting-board was now devoid of any glass. 

“Oh no”

Ester, we need Lucca now…

She nodded in response. The voice was right. We did need him. That pain in her chest was still there, slowly bleeding through her chest and into her limbs. 

Get up. Get dressed…

As if her limbs were no longer her own, she moved slowly around the glass to a mound of clothing, cautiously dressing herself. 

Outside Ester… Go outside. 

The breeze nudged against Ester has she opened the door. Her carless driveway not fazing her as she reached for her bike. 

The world was coated in a midnight black, the forest almost silent. 

Helmet.The voice ordered.

“I’m not sure about this, it’s so far, and what if -”

We can’t stay here Ester, we belong with him. We needhim.

“Ok”.

She slung her leg over her bike and began peddling. At first it wasn’t too difficult. Ester knew she was physically strong; sport had always been easy for her. She knew her body was capable, but after an hour her calves began to scream.

On the main road, little light could filter through the trees. Only one set of headlights went passed.

The sky rumbled, and lightening bolted across the clouds.

We should stop for a break…

“No, we’ll never get back on” 

The first spots of rain began to fall, one dripping down her neck.

Ester, it’s going to get dangerous.

She ignored her and kept peddling. The more she closed the gap between her and Lucca and lighter her chest felt, as if the distance was hurting her. 

“Get out of here beast”The women’s voice echoed through her skull. Her heart thudded painfully remembering that women’s hand touching Lucca. 

“It was just a dream” She shivered. She hadn’t realised the rain had picked up. Her hair was plastered to her face, neck and shoulders. 

Ester, something’s not right…Apprehension prickled at her spine, as if her hackles where raising.

She frowned. She didn’t like that thought, hackles, like a… a wolf.

The sky thundered again, this time making Ester start. The lightening followed immediately, outlining the trees either side. 

Ester!

A car’s headlights from behind threw Ester’s shadow before her, and she watched for a moment as she legs spun around and around. 

Ester we need to get off the road. 

Her shadow grew larger and distorted and the car got closer.

Ester!

The car’s engine roared so loudly she almost couldn’t hear the voice.

Ester get off the road!!She bellowed. 

It was too late. 

Ester!

Something hard hit her back. She curled into a ball. 

The crunch of glass and broken bones. 

Agony exploded. 

Then the world stopped moving. 

Someone screamed. 

Her throat hurt. 

She was screaming.

Heat trickled down her neck. 

Shaped blurred and darkened. 

Ester open your eyes. Please…

All senses bled away.

The voice became muffled. 

The ground was soggy. Ester’s body gave up the warmth and drew up the cold from beneath. 

Time became meaningless. 

She floated in the darkness. 

Then. Something golden.

It warm tugged at her subconscious. As if it had a string attached to something beneath my ribcage.

“Ester” they whispered "I'm here"