Our Journey

Three Steps Back - Part 1

The air was faintly chilly, carrying the promise of Fall along the gentle breeze that swept in across the cobblestone roads.

“...Cold.” A faint voice, white breath lifting into the air and disappearing into the sky as two-toned eyes watched from below.

He never did like the cold, feeling the chill settling into his body as he stepped outside a set of large doors, rolling around small, metallic cylinders in his hand. Bullets, oddly colored, glinted under the bright, low risen sun. The reason he had to part ways with his white haired companion. Traveling without a fresh batch of these simply wouldn’t do, after all.

Having left his knapsack at home, Eon sighed, stuffing the little bullets into the pockets of his jeans before making his way down the ascending staircase.

Almost subconsciously, he cast a small glance over his shoulder, half expecting that little, white form to be trailing not far behind him...But he was strangely disappointed when he recalled that he had already sent Max ahead of him. His tail swished somewhat restlessly in return, his gaze returning ahead of him, feeling oddly agitated with himself.

...Since when had he become so attached…? It was a waste of energy to deny that he had. Even Eon himself knew that. He supposed by now...Max’s presence had just become so natural to him, as though he simply expected nothing less than having Max nearby, trailing that tiny distance behind him.

For Eon, he wondered if this was because he had never spent prolonged contact around anyone other than Max...If it were someone else, would he think differently?? Even now, he didn’t find this arrangement unpleasant in the slightest. Not by any means.

...Was this what companionship felt like? Eon couldn’t find a definitive label for this feeling, or the reasoning behind it.

How silly. Eon didn’t get what exactly he was trying to understand here. How unlike him to waste his energy trying to grasp straws at meaningless things.

Max was waiting for him, and if Eon took too long, surely, he would start to think something had happened again...That seemed like a very Max-like thing for him to do. So, he went on his way, past the noisiest parts of the cities, and into the residential district. Soon enough, he would have been able to see his little home in the distance, but he...Paused when a strong, pungent scent choked his senses.

Blood. Eon’s heart lurched in his chest when he realized this scent dominating his senses came from the direction of his house...Where Max was supposed to be. Naturally, Eon’s immediate instinct was to rush inside to make sure Max was safe, but...It was just before he reached the door, open wide in the distance, that he came to a halt, freezing on the spot.

Don’t go in there. A voice warned him strongly from within. Every fiber of his being told him to get away. To run as far as he could from this place. A sense not unlike fear overtook him, settling in the pit of his stomach, his legs feeling as though they were made of lead, and a cold sweat breaking out along the palms of his hands.

Something terrible was in there. Just beyond that doorway.

Still, Eon swallowed down on his inexplicable fear, taking a step, and another...And another, until, he could finally peer through the doorway, and inside the room within.

The scene displayed before him was ripped straight out of a nightmare.

Red dominated his vision. Along the hardwood floor, the walls, the ceiling...All was painted in a deep crimson.

In the corner between the entryway and the bathroom door, a lifeless form laid sprawled about the floor, in pieces. Eon could barely make out the blackened hide past the flayed flesh, the exposed bones and organs. So horribly mangled, it was difficult to discern what the creature could have been.

And standing just before the corpse, was a single, small form. Scarcely, white fur could be seen past the deep red, a ghastly contrast in color, only making that red seem even more horrendously vivid.

Eon comprehended who that form was, but given the moment, he felt as though his eyes betrayed him. That form’s back faced him, pale arms dyed in a cancerous, spreading black. Blue markings crawling across the skin as though they were a living, writhing creature. Strangely mesmerizing and beautiful...Eon only realized, just then, that cold, emerald eyes met his own before Max’s form seemingly vanished...Only to appear right before him.

Eon’s heart leapt in his throat, those empty eyes staring him down, devoid of emotion, the white’s a startling black, and the pupils as thin as needles. Like glass beads, Eon could see himself reflected seamlessly within them. There was no trace of the Max he knew in those eyes. Only a deep, raw, primal instinct. As though he was looking into the eyes of a feral animal.

“...Disgusting.” A voice resounded, belonging to Max, and yet, sounding nothing like him at all. His tone lacked emotion, lacked the vigor of a personality, almost mechanical. “It tastes disgusting. Vile. I can’t stomach it. I’m so hungry.”

“...What-” Eon was trying to process the situation, gears turning slowly as he truly didn’t want to believe the sight before him...And in an instant, his back suddenly hit the floor with a loud thud, clawed hands pinning him down with surreal force.

He...He couldn’t move. Max bore down at him with strength Eon couldn’t conceivably comprehend. Was Max always this strong?

“...Do you taste better, perhaps?” A low growl resounded just beside his ear, and pain suddenly flared throughout Eon’s shoulder, a strained sound escaping him in protest.

Teeth sank into his body with piercing force, pulling, threatening to tear skin and flesh away from him.

Dread settled within the pit of his stomach. He had to push Max off of him...He had to. If he didn’t, he was seized with the realization that he would probably die right here. At Max’s hands.

“...Max…! Get ahold of yourself!!” He rose his voice, struggling fiercely. Yet, no matter how he writhed and fought, the force keeping him down didn’t lessen. He was hopelessly faced with the notion that he would be killed by the very person he was so desperate to help. The irony.

But, it was just as he braced himself for such a possibility, that the unearthly force bearing down on him suddenly lifted.

Bewildered, emerald eyes met his own, confusion coloring Max’s expression. As though he didn’t realize what he had done, or was even doing.

“...E...on?” The voice, barely audible, escaped Max. Steadily, his hazy vision began to clear to see Eon just below him, looking strangely flustered and out of breath.

Why was he…? Max couldn’t understand, his thoughts feverish and turbid, his blackened arms reflecting in his narrowed vision.

...His arms.

The sight of that striking black burned itself within Max’s eyes, and he immediately recoiled, pushing himself up and staggering back.

All around was red. Red. Red. Red. The floors, the walls, the ceiling, himself. He was drenched in red. The stench of blood, fear, and death mixing together, making his stomach churn.

Behind him, the horribly mangled carcass of the Demon remained. Upon seeing that sight, his vision shook, the taste of blood lingering in his mouth. Sweet, like poison, it stirred something terrifying within him, and he retained the urge to vomit.

Just...Just what had he done? He couldn’t remember for the life of him. He felt as though he had tunnel vision, unable to see anything at all, but a fresh wound lining Eon’s shoulder seemed strangely vivid to him.

He somehow recognized it, realizing it was Max himself who had inflicted that wound. He felt and looked as though he had been struck by the sight of it, finding it difficult to keep his feet on the ground.

Eon was shaken, but he soon realized that, while himself again, Max was spiraling out of control. He was losing his grip over himself.

His fear all but gone, all Eon could do was try to approach him.

“...Stay back!” Max’s shrill voice echoed loudly throughout the room as he took a fearful step backwards, refusing to allow Eon to get any closer to him. He desperately tried to maintain that distance.

He hurt him...Hurt Eon...No, rather than hurting him, Max nearly tried killing him. He was afraid of himself, of what he might do. His dream revived graphically in his mind. The familiar faces, their bodies crumbling away to dust before him. At his hands.

Even Eon...Would he too, crumble away? Would Max defile him?? With these hands of his???

Not Eon...Not him too.

These hands could touch no one.

Suddenly, Max was seized with the sensation that he might fall through the floor. That perhaps it wasn’t even truly there. As though he may be swallowed right up by it.

Eon watched it all unfold, saw the hysteria in his eyes. Max was spiraling into a deep, dark place where no one would be able to reach him.

Eon wouldn’t let him go there. Instead, he hardened his jaw, and began closing the distance.

Max was alarmed, his fur swelling out in panic and denial, refuting Eon’s advances. He wanted to reject Eon with all his might.

“I said stay back!” He screeched, retreating as far back as he could, until his back hit the wall. “No!!” There was no where for him to run to. He was frightened, yet despite his profuse denials, Eon closed that distance, refusing to allow Max to escape...And then...Arms encircled Max’s body, holding him close, his body stiffening in protest. “...No-!”

“It’s okay.” Eon hushed him, not allowing the squirming Max to wriggle his way free. “I’m fine, see?” Eon tried to reassure him, arms remaining firmly across him...It was difficult to believe that this small body had him so completely overpowered mere moments ago.

Max’s heart was racing, his face squished against Eon’s chest.

“...Let go…!” He hissed, still wriggling about in vain.

“But if I do that, you’ll try running away.”

“…!! Obviously!!”

“Then that’s why I won’t.” Eon shot back stubbornly, his arms not budging in the slightest. “Guess we’ll be staying like this all day.”

“…!!” Max was outraged, but try as he might, there was no getting away. Instead, slowly, Eon’s body heat began to seep into him, an indescribable feeling overtaking Max. That feeling of warmth calmed him somehow, Eon’s scent brushing past his nose...And finally, the black along his arms steadily began to recede, along with the various, blue markings.

Silence ensued, yet Eon’s arms remained snugly around him.

“...I’m calm now, so let go.”

“Mmm...Don’t wanna.” Eon replied on the dime. “Didn’t know you were so huggable.”

Max was clearly displeased, but he had calmed down considerably by now, those strong arms still wrapped around him, supporting him. Comforting him. If Eon let go now, Max was hit with the illusion that he would fall into a dark, empty abyss, with no hope of ever climbing back up, far beyond anyone’s reach ever again.

“….I’m sorry.” Max whispered, his voice quiet, meek, defeated. He felt nothing but agitation and shame towards himself.

“Don’t you worry about it.” Eon consoled him as silence passed between the two before he spoke up again. “...So...What’s with the Demon? What happened??” He hoped he would get answers, but Max was silent, and Eon feared he may not say anything for a moment.

“...Asato...I didn’t realize it until it was too late…”

“Asato?” Eon echoed, appalled as he glanced back at the corpse.

That was Asato? Eon had never picked up on the scent of a Demon from the man, so it was hard to believe, but Max had no reason to lie.

“...And what about back there? What was that??” He questioned, referring to Max’s strange behavior and form.

Silence. Once more, Max didn’t seem as though he would answer...But eventually, that answer did come.

“...A monster.”

Eon winced at these thoughtless words.

“...If you’re a monster, then I struggle to imagine what I am.” He frowned.

“...You don’t know me. The things I’ve done-”

“Who cares?” Eon interrupted him, unconcerned with these trivial details. “The only Max I see is the one standing in front of me. To me, you’re just that. You’re just Max, and that’s all that matters.”

Max had no immediate rebuttal for these straightforward words.

“No, the only monstrous thing here is the state of this room.” Eon grimaced with a sigh as he glanced around the room, wondering how he was going to explain all of this. “...Well, never you mind that for now. Ally-oop.” Suddenly, with those last words, Eon hoisted Max off of his feet before walking off towards the bathroom.

“…!! Eon…! Hey…!!” Panicked, Max couldn’t help but cling to Eon, fearing that if he didn’t, he might fall. “Put me down!!”

“Yes, yes.” Eon hummed, finally setting Max down on the edge of the bathtub.

“What are you-mrph-!” Max’s protests were swiftly muffled as Eon rubbed at his face with a dampened cloth.

“You’re practically marinating in blood. At least let me wipe it off.” Eon explained, wiping away the drying blood from Max’s face, his hair, and his ears. He feared that the lovely, snow white fur may be dyed with that red, but the blood came off cleanly. He didn’t feel as though Max had sustained any injuries either, but even so, he was relieved when he finished wiping the blood away and didn’t discover any. Not a single cut, bruise, or blemish. “Well, that’s a relief.” He nodded, feeling satisfied.

Max fell silent, his eyes catching sight of that horrendous, bite wound along Eon’s shoulder. It looked as though he had just barely avoided having the flesh torn off of him.

...Max couldn’t bear to look at it. He felt an overwhelming sense of spite towards himself, reaching up to heal the wound. Such was the least he could do. He owed Eon that much.

“...I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” Eon blinked, still taken aback by the feat. “...Come to think of it, how come you didn’t heal your own shoulder that time??”

“...I can’t use it on myself.” The flat response reached Eon’s ears.

“...Well that’s inconvenient.” He frowned, waiting for a response from Max, but...No such thing came. There was only that all too familiar, awkward silence.

...This again, huh? It seemed like they’d taken a few steps back now, and Eon rubbed at his neck. He was used to it, but...He felt disappointed, all the same.

“...Why…?” The sudden question from Max was weak, his head hanging down, gaze fixated on the tiled floor. “...Why are you going so far for me…? I even hurt you, turned on you...Any way you look at it, it’s troublesome, isn’t it?”

It was Eon’s turn to fall silent as he mulled over Max’s words.

Why...He’d been asking himself that very question quite a lot as of late, hadn’t he? Yet, no matter how profusely he thought on the subject, he wasn’t sure he came any closer to an answer.

Perhaps in the end, that answer wasn’t nearly as complicated as he was making it out to be.

“...I can’t really say why for certain...Because I want to? Because, for some reason, I can’t leave you alone?? Or perhaps you would be satisfied if I said it was something about you, yourself??” Eon turned to face Max. “And to be honest...I’ve never once thought it to be troublesome.” He smiled, reaching his hand out and gently lifting Max’s chin, looking him in the eyes. “The way you’re surprisingly bad mouthed at times, how you’re never afraid to state exactly how you feel in the moment...The way you do that little thing when you tilt your head and those ridiculously fluffy ears of yours flop over just right...Or even the way you’re always trailing that little ways just behind me, like you’re afraid I might go on off somewhere without you.” Two-toned eyes captured emerald ones, refusing to release them. “...Do you think I’ll disappear somewhere? Does that thought frighten you??”

Max felt trapped within Eon’s gaze, somehow seeing right through him.

“Why are you so afraid?? Where do you think I’ll go??”

“...I…” Max didn’t know how to respond to the barrage of questions, his ears and tail trembling as he tried to avert his gaze, but Eon wouldn’t let him.

“I’m not going anywhere, Max.”

Eon’s voice was soft, gentle. Terribly so. Max found himself wondering why Eon’s words always rattled him right down to his core. It was as though Eon knew everything, as though he reached deep into Max’s heart, drawing out his fears and insecurities, and exposing them at the surface for all to see. He was helpless to resist it. No one else bore holes through his walls so efficiently, tearing them down effortlessly, as though they were as brittle as thin glass. His eyes, one, that deep crimson, and the other, that splendid silver, saw everything. Somehow, Max was struck with that impression as he rolled Eon’s words about in his mind, over and over.

...Was he afraid…? That much should have been obvious. He was terrified. Terrified of letting anyone in, of letting anyone close. If he did, it would only be to lose them in the end...Always...Always, he would lose those most precious to him. They would all wind up lost in the end, and that pain tore away at his heart far more than any mortal wound ever could. He wondered if the scars left behind would ever heal. Would ever fade.

He couldn’t bear that pain again. He didn’t want these hands to destroy anyone else. Didn’t want anyone else’s lives lost, because of him.

“…I...I understand, so let go. Please.” He finally spoke, pressing one hand against Eon’s chest, and gently pushing himself away, putting distance between them.

Please...Please don’t get any closer than this. He silently begged these words. Prayed them. He wanted nothing more than to lock his heart away, somewhere no one could reach it. So that he may never involve another into his problems again.

More than seeking the warmth of another, he feared for the loss of that warmth.

Eon of course, let Max go, feeling as though he had calmed down plenty, though he could also feel Max purposefully maintaining a slight distance, drawing a distinct line that Eon was not allowed to cross.

Once more, that awkward silence remained between them, making the air feel stale.

Whatever moment had passed between them, was gone.

“...I’ll go get you a change of clothes before letting Azuma know about all of this.” He finally said, receiving no response in return before leaving the bathroom.

A strange sense of frustration overtook him, but eventually, he partially informed Azuma of the events that took place. Before long, he would arrive alongside Sage, both hustling into the living space.

It went without saying that Azuma was suspicious when he saw the state of the room. Eon had been strangely persistent about avoiding certain details, so he was left grasping straws at what had transpired.

“...I brought Sage with me in the hopes of investigating the body, but…” His gaze trailed towards the mauled carcass, hazel eyes narrowing. “...I can see there’s not much left to investigate.”

The two knelt before the remains, inspecting what they could thoroughly.

“...If I didn’t already know ahead of time that this was a Demon, I don’t think I would have been able to tell.” The Doc, Sage, grimaced at the sight of the slashed up corpse, his eyes narrowed in all seriousness, despite his normally, bouncy personality.

Eon couldn’t have done this, Sage already knew that. He wasn’t this violent...And honey colored eyes met an emerald green.

Max’s ears flicked back reflexively at the blatantly curious look shot his way, the base of his tail trembling.

“...Well, I suppose I’ll get this specimen brought back to headquarters for now.” He finally said, pushing himself up from his knees.

“...Typical, to be treating it like just another thing to study.” Max couldn’t restrain the jeering comment.

“For the one whose responsible for so horribly mauling this creature, I don’t think you’re one to talk, dearie.” Sage shot back on the dime, pushing up his glasses with a slightly wry grin.

Max bared his fangs, a low growl resounding from his throat.

He really couldn’t stand doctors. Not in the slightest.

Triumphant, Sage stepped away, eventually taking the corpse away with a few others.

Azuma, however, remained, his attention fixated on both Eon, and Max. As always, those keen, hazel eyes seemed as though they knew all.

“...While I expect to hear the full details later, I’ll spare you the interrogation for now.” He said with a small sigh, inspecting the state of room once more. “I want you two to continue to Sahrim, as planned. With this, it might be for the best if you stay away from the Capital for a bit. At least until I can find a plausible way to explain this fiasco.” He was clearly exasperated, perhaps even concerned about the turn of events, but he didn’t give much away aside from that. “You two may take your leave now.”

Eon cast Max a small glance, though it would appear neither of them had any arguments on the matter. It probably would be best if they made themselves scarce, especially Max. So, without much of a word in exchange, Eon walked on ahead out the door, expecting Max to follow.

Naturally, Max intended to, shaken, but reflexively heeding the need to follow after that broad back.

“...You’re the spitting image of Kota.”

Max halted in his tracks at the words just barely bouncing off his ears, glancing over his shoulder at Azuma.

...Had he misheard the man? There was no way, or so he thought, but those hazel green eyes met his with a knowing gaze.

...He didn’t recall his father ever mentioning having an acquaintance from Raoul. Max was certain of it, and before he could truly confirm those mysterious words, he heard Eon calling out to him.

Reluctantly, Max had no choice but to chalk it up to him mishearing things, and soon after, followed along after Eon. There was just no way he had heard the man correctly, after all. So he focused on the task at hand in an attempt to keep himself grounded.

They would have a long journey ahead of them from here on out. One that would span over several months, the cold of Fall and Winter having long since settled in before they would even arrive.

By then, they would only be a mere day away from the port, the salty scent of the sea carried through the small clearing they set up camp within. Tall grass, shrubs, and small trees were scattered about, providing some coverage from the open, but the area was relatively clear of heavy foliage and forests. Such seemed to be the case the closer they got to the edge of the continent.

“...Damn it! I can’t stand the cold!!” Eon’s shout of outrage against the frigid, night air rang throughout the area.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Max shot back with a slightly annoyed sigh.

“Easy for you to say, you’ve got all that fur. Why don’t you shave some of it off to make me some mittens or something??”

“…” Max shot Eon one of those little looks of his before turning his face away...Though, Eon couldn’t help but notice the tips of his ears trembled slightly. No doubt, he was rather cold himself, but Max was probably too proud to say it out loud.

“Y’know, if you want a cuddle buddy, all ya gotta do is ask.” Eon chimed with an amused flick of his gray-black tail.

Max’s brow twitched, unimpressed, emerald eyes looking up at him.

“...What about you? Why don’t you just admit that you want a cuddle buddy?” He shot back, hoping to turn the tables on Eon for once by putting him on the spot, but his plan immediately backfired.

“Oho~ Are you inviting me after all? Don’t mind if I do.”

“No. I didn’t say that-”

“Uh-huh. It’s alright, I get it. You’re sooooo cold, so you want a snuggle buddy, but you’re too proud to admit it. Don’t worry, I got ya.” Eon cut Max off, scooting closer before wrapping one arm around Max’s shoulder, and practically draping himself over the poor fella.

Max’s eyes narrowed fiercely as he slapped Eon in the face with his tail, promptly giving him a nice mouthful of fur before accepting his fate.

“You’re ridiculous sometimes, you know that?”

“Isn’t that just part of my charm?” Eon shot back with a cheeky grin.

“No.” Max replied flatly, without a hint of hesitation.

“Tch. Party pooper.”

The rest of their night consisted of silly, pointless bickering just like that, before the two would eventually fall asleep.