Dear First Love

6

Dear First Love,

You passed me in the hallway today and greeted me by name. I’m glad that you remember my name. I hope that you’ll still remember my name next time.

The girls kept approaching me today. They think that you and your girlfriend’s fight had something to do with me because I was seen with you yesterday. They think that I tried to seduce you.

I think that getting beat up was worth it though, because you saved me. You saved me again like a knight in shining armour, as cliche as it sounds. You stopped them and helped me up, then walked out the building hand-in-hand with me. I felt sparks fly between us, but I think that was only me.

You took me outside and told me to tell you if they ever picked on me again. All I could do was nod dumbly. Then, you took me to the nurse’s office and treated my wounds yourself. You kept saying sorry. I don’t know why - it wasn’t your fault.

You looked at me with such sad eyes after that. Did I do something wrong? Maybe you were disappointed that I was so pathetic to get bullied like that. But I really think I deserved it that time. What was I thinking yesterday, talking to you? Maybe they were right. Maybe I was hoping that you would look at me more or smile at me more if I was with you through a rough patch. I shouldn’t have done that.

I’m sorry. I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry that those girls don’t want to talk to you anymore. I’m sorry that you had to see me in such a pathetic state. I’m sorry that I love you. I’m sorry that I can’t stop loving you.

Sincerely,

H.