Chapter 221
1015 Words
“He’s coming,” she said quietly. “Not for sure, but maybe. Cordelia seems to think there’s a good chance.”
“I know. Dallas told me.”
“Right.” She drank again and he followed suit. “And in my opinion, any chance is too much. Too dangerous.”
“I’ll protect you, Beth. So will Dallas.”
“And Olivia, and Jenny, and Emma? Can you protect them too? Emma’s pregnant now… you honestly think that Dean isn’t going to lose his mind with paranoia and worry? And what about the guys – can you keep them safe? What about you… are you sure you’ll see him coming? What if he hurts you?”
“Beth.” He took a deep breath. “Dallas has a safe house. We can hide you –”
“What, hide all of us? And for how long? Nobody goes to work for six months?”
Jim ran his hand over his forehead, feeling hot all of a sudden. He drank some more beer, thinking that might help. “We can figure this out. The cops will put his picture out on the wire, and every cop in the state will be looking for him…”
“Sure,” she said. “And how many places does he have to hide? He’s a cop, Jim, and an ex-Marine. He knows how to survive on the run, how to stay under the radar, and he has plenty of buddies who will help him out if he asks.”
Jim was silent.
“I want you to know something,” she said.
“No.” His voice was sharp, broken. “No. I don’t want to have the goodbye talk where you tell me how much fun it’s been and that you’ll miss me.”
“We have to have it,” Beth said. “We don’t have a lot of time.”
“Why? You leaving in a few minutes?”
She stared at him. “We’ll see.”
“I won’t let you go. I’ll stop you.”
“Just let me say a few things, OK? Please?”
“Fine.” Jim felt a dark wave pass over him, and he shook his head against the dizziness.
“I really, truly would not be able to live with myself if anything happened to any of you.” She bit her lip. “You’re all in danger and at risk, and it’s my fault. I – I stayed too long. I got involved. I liked hearing my real name again. I let myself hope that I could stay forever, that I could have a whole life here… sometimes, I even believed it.”
“Beth…” His tongue wasn’t working properly, for some reason. It felt thick and swollen, and he swallowed hard. “You can believe it.”
“No.” She shook her beautiful head. “No. I don’t get to have this kind of life, I see that now. I shouldn’t have hoped, and I definitely shouldn’t have let any of you care about me. That was a huge f*****g mistake… because now I’m going to hurt all of you.”
“Baby –”
“One last thing,” she said gently. “I want you to know this – really know this, OK? I am going to hate myself forever for hurting you most of all. I never should have kissed you that day, Jim, even if I thought I was finally safe. I should have just let you walk out that door, spared you all of this.” She stood up. “Never again do I let myself get close to anyone. I’ve learned my lesson.”
Jim tried to stand up too, but he pitched forward. On his hands and knees, weak and dizzy, he looked up at her. “What did you do, Beth?”
“Get up, babe. You’re too big for me to be able to lift when you pass out, and I don’t want to leave you on the floor.”
“Beth…” He fought to stand up, barely felt her next to him helping him to his feet. “Beth…”
Carefully, she pushed him backwards on to the sofa.
“You drugged me?” he slurred.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “It was the only way.”
“No –”
“I knew that you’d never let me go.” She lay him down, making sure his head was on the cushion. “I know you’ll jump in front of a bullet to help me and keep me safe, and I just can’t let that happen, Jim.”
He tried to say something else, but he couldn’t move – not his mouth or his head or his hands. Jim tried to keep his eyes open, fixed on her stunning face, but the darkness was closing in now. He made a sound of despair in his throat, and her expression was nothing short of tortured as she spoke now.
“Tell the others that I’m going to be very visible at the train station, no way he can miss me on the security cameras at all. I’m going to make totally sure that he’ll find me and follow me, and I’ll lure him away from Denver. And let Ellen know that I won’t ever contact her again… it’s too risky.” She put her burner phone on the coffee table. “You guys will all be safe.”
Jim tried to keep his eyes open, but they were falling, heavy as stones.
“One last thing.” Beth touched his face, turned him to look at her. “I’m doing this because I love all of you.” She kissed him now, a soft, lingering kiss that he knew he’d dream about for the rest of his life. “I love you, Jim, and I’ll never, ever stop loving you.”
That was the last thing he heard before he fell into the inky blackness.
- Writer
