The Unseen Enemy Series

Chapter 35

He took a shuddering breath. “The school was attacked while she was there. Large group of local Taliban fighters, well-prepared, heavily-armed. They knew she’d be there, clearly, and they came ready for a m******e. My guys outside were overwhelmed, but they held things off long enough for the teachers to evacuate the school and get the girls to the underground shelter that Kimberley had insisted on building. Me, Jim and Chris were all inside with her, but I sent them out to help. I stayed with Kimberley alone, and I stayed because she refused to leave the school until she was absolutely sure that every single person was out and safe. She checked on the cleaning ladies and the women who worked in the kitchen, those people who are so often forgotten when the s**t hits the fan. I kept her behind me the whole time, and we crawled through every room of that school, making sure everyone was out. Only then did she agree to let me get her to the shelter.”

Emma felt tears prickling her eyes. My God. What a magnificent woman.

“We crawled down the hall to the back door, and she stood up too soon. She was in front of a window and I know she knew better, but I guess she thought it was OK since the window had a curtain on it. The thing is, it was a windy day and the curtain was fluttering all over the place.” He looked at Emma. “To this day, I have no idea how the guy pulled off that f*****g shot. The only person I’ve ever known who could have done it was Dallas – it was taken from five hundred yards away, on a windy day, with a firefight going on. She was in front of that window for less than three seconds before I saw that she was on her feet and dragged her down again. But I was too f*****g slow… he hit her right in the chest.”

“Oh, God,” Emma said. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“She fell on top of me, and I dragged her into the other room, away from the outside wall. I couldn’t do a damn thing except apply pressure, and hold her, and wait for my medic team to get to us. And I listened to her while she talked.”

“What did she say?”

“She told me that she was from California originally, and that she missed the ocean terribly. Then she asked me to remember that Afghanistan wasn’t the whole world, and that it was easy to get trapped in it. Physically, emotionally, mentally. She asked me to remember that there were places on earth where the ocean existed, and when I was ready to let Afghanistan go, she wanted me to go to California and stand in the ocean. She asked me to do this for her.”

“Did you say you would?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. I would have promised her anything right then. She was dying, and I knew it, and so did she. God, there was just so much blood and I was applying pressure so hard, but she didn’t feel any pain at all. That’s how I knew she wasn’t going to make it – when there’s no pain, it’s bad. But it’s a good way to die. You just kind of… float away.”

“And that’s how the guys found us about ten minutes later. She was dead in my arms and I was covered in her blood and promising her over and over that I’d go to the ocean. The guys wanted to take her body away from me, but I wouldn’t let them. I just – I couldn’t seem to let her go. Chris and Dallas and Jim sat with me for about an hour while I talked to her, but I don’t remember it being that long. I barely remember them being there at all.”

“I snapped out of it, eventually, and some of the guys took her. Dallas got me to my feet and out to the vehicle, and he and Chris and Jim didn’t leave me alone even for one second. When I fell apart later, they were there. And it seems like they’ve been there ever since. That was over three years ago now.”

Emma was silent for a minute. “Have you been to the ocean?”

“No.” Dean looked down. “I’m not ready.”

“You’re not ready to let it all go?”

“Not yet. But I’m starting to want to. I feel like – it’s OK for me to want to get out of Afghanistan.”

“You feel like you’re still there?”

“Sometimes. Kimberley was right, what she said about getting trapped in it. I’ve been back in Denver for just over two years now, but in so many ways, I never came home. I’ve been looking for a safe place this whole time, and I just haven’t been able to find one.”

“Why not?”

“I guess – because I feel like I don’t really deserve one.”