Chapter 125
974 Words
The next day, Chris drove over to Dean’s house. He pulled up and took a deep breath.
OK, just talk to Emma, man. Just ask a few questions, let her help you. You don’t have to decide anything today.
Emma answered his knock and she gave him a big smile. “Morning, Chris. You here to see Dean? Because he’s out running a few errands right now.”
“No,” he said, stepping into the warmth. “You, actually.”
She looked up at him, and he saw awareness pass over her beautiful face. “OK. Come on in, sit down. You want some coffee?”
“Yes, please.” He took off his winter boots and hung up his heavy coat, then sat and watched Emma in Dean’s small kitchen. She did look much better, he saw now: her hair was growing in a bit, and she looked like she’d maybe put on a few pounds. Her face had some color, just for a change, and those gorgeous dark blue eyes were bright and well-rested.
Emma brought him his coffee, then settled into the chair opposite him. She studied him for a few seconds, took in his tense shoulders and the lines around his mouth. She’d always thought of Chris as the steadiest of the four guys, somehow, with a solidity about him that never seemed to waver or falter. But he was thrown now, she saw.
So Jenny asked him. Wow. And if he’s here now, that means he’s considering it. God, I hope he says yes. She needs him; she needs him more than he understands yet.
Chris looked up and met her eyes. “You know why I came to see you?”
She nodded. “Jenny.”
He let out a long breath. “Yeah. Jenny.”
Emma waited.
“I want to help her, Emma,” he said softly. “I do. But what she’s asking me… it’s not like anything I ever imagined being asked in my life. You know?”
“Yes.”
“She’s asking me to touch her. Kiss her. Take her clothes off, take my clothes off. Maybe make love to her.” He swallowed. “That’s – that’s terrifying.”
Emma sat back. “Why?”
“Why?” Chris exclaimed. “Because I have no idea how she might react! What if she freaks out?”
“Then you comfort her.”
Chris paused. “What if I can’t?”
“Then you wait for it to pass. It will, you know.”
“But what if I – I damage her more?”
Emma shook her head. “You won’t. I promise you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because you’re a good, gentle man, Chris, and I know that you’d never do anything to hurt Jenny.” She c****d her head. “Can we talk openly? Keep it all between us?”
“Yeah.”
“You care about her, Chris. And I don’t mean just as a friend.”
He felt his face flush. “Emma…”
“No, hold on, let me finish. You care about Jenny, and I know you have strong feelings for her. Right?”
He was silent.
“Chris, you won’t damage her more because you’d never let anything happen to her. I know that, you know that, and that’s not what’s really on your mind. No, I think what you’re really worried about is that it’ll all be too much for you to handle.”
Anger sparked in his gray eyes. “You think I’m that selfish, that I care more about how I feel than how she does?”
“No.” Emma smiled. “No, I think that you’ll always put her first. But the fact is, you’re made of flesh and blood, and you have feelings too. And seeing the woman that you care about hurting and scared would be damn hard.”
“Yeah,” he agreed quietly.
“Look at Dean, what he’s been through with me and my illness,” Emma said. “Look at Dallas, what he’s going through now with Liv. You guys are all so used to being able to help someone who needs it, you’ve been trained to take control of a situation and get everyone out alive. Right?”
“Right.”
“But sometimes you can’t fix it, you can’t make it better, you can’t get everyone out in one piece. All you can do is be there. No magic solutions, no guarantees, no way your Ranger training and military experience changes a damn thing. You have to be helpless, you have to just stand there while the woman you care about goes through it. And for men like you guys? That’s just about the hardest thing in the world to do.”
He nodded, seeing where she was going with this now.
“So, can you do that?” Emma asked. “Can you be there for Jenny, and have almost no control over what happens? Just hold her and take things at her pace? Can you?”
“I – I don’t know. I want to.”
“Well, that’s a good start,” she said. “But that’s the real question, you know, the one that you’re really struggling with. Can you watch her go through all of this, and stand outside of it a lot of the time? If you can, then you’ll help her, I promise you. But if you can’t, then it’s better for you to say no.”
He sighed.
“It’s a tough one,” she said. “It’s not a decision to be made quickly. Take some more time.”
“You know what happened to her, don’t you?” he asked.
“Yes.”
- Writer
