Cupidity

Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Martha boarded the train with Willy. She was panicking. Did she have everything? She was sure that she must’ve forgotten something. She had never moved to a new house before. Well, she had moved in with Johnny, but she only had a few bags of belongings then. Now she had packed up a house. A house of memories and a truck loaded with a family’s worth of possessions. Sometimes she would think she wasn’t old enough for this.

She was, but sometimes it was hard to believe it had come around so quickly. It didn’t seem like long ago that she and Jane would be playing with their dolls, dreaming of the day they would be mothers, wives, all the while Susannah would be in the corner reading. Three sisters, different hopes, different dreams. Jane would always have the grandest of the dreams. She wanted the big house, the beautiful wardrobe. She fantasised about not having to do much. She wanted a cleaner. She would be happy to cook because she enjoyed cooking and, as such, was very good at it. Being the eldest, she learnt from their mother, and when mother passed, she took over, so cooking had never been an issue. Running the house, however, that was down to Martha. She kept everyone organised, kept the house tidy, made sure all their clothes were clean and laundered. If anything, Jane had the easier job, but Martha wouldn’t dare ever tell her that. As far as Jane was concerned, she was the one that kept it all together.

Martha reminisced and wished that she had enjoyed the easier times more. She never dreamt of being a widow. She never dreamt of running the house, raising the baby alone, and she never dreamt of the void that she would be left with. She didn’t mind doing everything when Johnny was away, because all she dreamt about then was him coming home. Even when he did, she made sure he didn’t lift a finger. She loved being his wife. She loved showing him her gratitude for everything they had, not materialistically because they didn’t have much in terms of possessions, but just how much they had by being together. The love, the bond, their companionship, a friendship that never faded. Would she ever feel content again now that he was gone? She doubted it. How could anyone ever get close to her like she had been with Johnny.

Her thoughts were interrupted with a sharp squeal and then cries from Willy. A drunkard had pushed by on the train and hit Willy in the face with his case. Martha cradled him quickly and patted his hair. She then sat him on her knee and looked at his face. He had a mark just under his left eye that would bruise nicely. She looked up at the man who had hurt her son. A rage brewed inside her, but when she met the stranger’s eyes, she could see he was inebriated. She held his stare for a moment, and then he broke the silence.

‘What?’

He slurred and snarled aggressively. She held his stare for a moment longer and then looked down at Willy. She pulled him in and stroked his soft blonde hair and comforted him. She turned them both away so they wouldn’t have to see the angry drunk. She felt so pathetic. The old Martha would’ve been angry enough to punch that brute in the face, but she had lost a lot of confidence since Johnny died. She had always been a nervous character, but that would normally be pushed aside when it came to the protection and wellbeing of her baby. She felt so alone and each day she was just trying her best to get on with her life. She wished she had said something, she wished she had defended her son, but what then? He would’ve retorted probably and then she would’ve been even more scared. She knew that, as Willy got older, she would need to toughen up. She didn’t want him thinking she was a pushover, and she wanted him to stand up for himself if he needed to. She continued to stroke Willy’s hair and hummed him a tune; he started to drift off. He began to suck his thumb, which normally she would forbid, but on this occasion, she let him.

As Willy slept, Martha wondered what Johnny would’ve done if he had witnessed that drunk. She knew what he would’ve done. She didn’t need to wonder but she liked to; God she missed him. In that moment, Martha decided that this move was to be a big part in their lives. She knew it was anyway, but if she moved and carried on with her depression, anxiety, and thoughts as she had been, then nothing would change. She had to make a conscientious effort to make this a fresh start, a new beginning. She had to make Johnny and Willy proud.

Eventually, the train pulled in at their station. Martha wondered how long she had been daydreaming whilst Willy snoozed against her. Everyone was in such a rush to get off. She sat there with Willy and waited for the mad rush to calm down. She gently woke Willy up and pointed out of the window.

‘Look, Willy, look. We’re here. This is our stop. Look how many trains there are.’

Willy gently stirred whilst being nonplussed about the whole situation, but she was glad he was awake. Although he was only three, she didn’t feel quite as lonely when he was awake. Almost everyone had departed the train, so Martha took Willy’s little hand and stood up to leave. As she tried to manage their coats and a couple of bags, she saw the old drunk ahead continue to be rude and aggressive to the other passengers. In that moment, she was glad she hadn’t become as bitter as him. Whatever had happened to her, she had always managed to remain a decent person, and she felt good about that. She got to the exit of the carriage to join the platform. The drunk was a couple of people in front. She was fixated on him and still very annoyed that he had hurt her darling boy, and then, right in front of her, she watched him shove an elderly lady out of his way, giving her quite a fright.

The blood in her began to boil. The Martha that had been emotionally asleep for the last two years began to come to life. The noise around her began to fade, and the commuters around her became a blur. She found herself marching forward without any control. Her heart started beating faster, her top lip began to bead with sweat, and then, before she could even think what she was doing, she was right up behind him and just placed one foot slightly in front and across of his. She watched as he began to tumble, almost in slow motion. She stepped back still holding Willy on her hip. The drunk fell over and his drink left his hand, rolling across the platform. He was so drunk that it didn’t seem to cause any injury. The worst thing for him was that he had lost his drink. A few people began to gather around him to offer help to get him up, but he just shouted a***e at them all.

Martha stepped back, and the hustle and bustle became alive. Instantly, the station had become noisy again She was shocked at what she had done and began to feel guilty. She turned on her heels and was making her way to the exit when someone grabbed her by the elbow.

‘My dear, I saw what you did just there…’

Martha was horrified but turned to see her accuser.

‘You did? You saw what?’

The old lady smiled at a very worried looking Martha and placed her hand on her arm.

‘Don’t worry, petal. I am glad you did. I saw what that old fool did to your boy. He got off lightly if you ask me. Now, you look exhausted. Will you let me buy you a cup of tea?’

And with that, she took Martha’s arm and guided her towards a café just a short distance away. At first, Martha’s eyes pricked with tears, but then she let out a soft giggle, and before they knew it, they were both laughing. It was then that Martha knew the old lady had been sent to her. She was a messenger. A shining light to tell her she was ok, she was doing an excellent job, she would laugh again, and that perhaps this move wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

Evelyn, the elderly lady, was just what Martha needed that day. Once they sat down for a cup of tea, Martha’s fears and concerns had gone to the back of her head. She was genuinely enjoying herself. This impromptu meeting had become a welcome breath of fresh air for her. Evelyn was so sweet. She insisted on buying them a pot of tea, and she bought a little cake for Willy. Martha had wanted to pay, but Evelyn was having none of it. Evelyn was fantastic with Willy as well. She sat him down and told him to enjoy his cake and not worry about making a mess.

Evelyn had two grandsons of her own. She was immensely proud of them and clearly loved being a grandmother. Even when Martha wanted to go to the ladies’ room, Evelyn told her to go. Normally she wouldn’t dream of letting Willy out of her sight, but she knew without hesitation that he was safe with her. She went to the ladies, and for the first time in about four years, she felt carefree, light on her feet as she made her way to the back of the cafe. When she reached the ladies room, she felt a sense of release, as if something had lifted, the grey cloud that had been hovering over her had moved on. She hadn’t had a moment alone for such a long time. She was only gone for two minutes but she felt rejuvenated.

Then it dawned on her. What the hell had she done? She didn’t know Evelyn. This seemingly nice elderly lady had taken charge of the situation from the moment they met. She was the one who grabbed me, she realised. She was the one who insisted they went to a café. She was the seemingly natural one with Willy. Oh, my God, what if it was a setup? What if she was a child snatcher?

Martha’s heart started to pound in her chest. What the hell had she been thinking? Willy was all she had. All she had and now she had left him with a stranger. Her head became hot. She was almost too scared to walk out in case she found him gone.

Her heart now sounded like a steam train in her ears. She began to control her breathing and walked out into the cafe. She heard Willy’s laugh before she saw him. He was in fits of giggles. Evelyn had him on his back and was pretending to be a doctor whilst tickling him furiously. He was lapping up the attention, and more importantly, he was perfectly alright. Martha leaned back against the wall, and the relief that poured over her body acted like anaesthetic. She made her way back over to the table.

‘You two look like you’re having fun.’ She smiled and picked up her teacup and saucer.

Willy was laughing whilst shouting, ‘Again. Again.’

Evelyn sat him up and placed him next to her. ‘My boy, you are tiresome. I can’t keep up. I’m too old for a young sprog like you.’

Willy’s bottom lip started to go; he had loved the attention of someone new so much and he didn’t want the fun to end, so he started playing on it, but what he hadn’t noticed was that Evelyn was playing with him, her hand had formed pinchers and was going straight for his chubby little knee. She gave it a good squeeze, and he howled with laughter and wriggled and wriggled. It was then that Martha realised how good it was to have someone around, how good that bit of support would be, and then suddenly she felt relaxed that they were moving in with Mae, Peter, and Charlie.

Mae and Peter had Charlie in the same year as Martha and Johnny had Willy. The children had met a few times over various holidays. Mostly they got on fine despite the odd spat. Peter was friends with Johnny. They all met around the same time. Peter didn’t play in the rugby team like Johnny and Mae’s brother David, but he was a friend of David’s.

Peter was far too proud and flamboyant for rugby. He liked sharp suits and was always immaculately presented. He would always make quips that rugby was for men who had something to prove, perhaps he felt he had something to prove because he was always analysing other men. He was a good man nonetheless and very well suited to Mae. They loved to talk about other people and assume they were better than everyone else, but Martha always felt that they would talk this way because they were very insecure in themselves. They might have been, but they didn’t act insecure when they were together. They were always surrounded by people. Always hosting parties, they always wanted to be in the thick of it yet seemed so interested in everyone else and not in a healthy way.

After Johnny died, Martha received a small sum of money from the army – the remainder of his wages and a small amount of pension. He was only in his early thirties, so the proportion wasn’t huge. When he died, she didn’t care about anything. For someone who worried so much about everything, the wind had well and truly been taken out of her sails, and so she gave little thought as to how they would survive.

Luckily for her, her older and now wealthy sister Jane had offered to help them out and give them financial support. She visited once to break the news but didn’t stay long. Martha was still living in a haze at this point; the army pay-out had lasted about three months. It should have only lasted two, but she was very frugal and had to be like many other families at the time. She hadn’t asked Jane for anything. No one in the family had any money apart from Jane, but Martha didn’t consider herself to be Jane’s problem. All the family knew what had happened, of course. Jane sent her condolences, Susannah stayed with Martha for a week, and her Dad called her but she couldn’t make out much of what he was saying. He was drunk again, she guessed. She never heard from him again.

But, to her surprise, Jane arrived one day. She remembered it well because she was having a good day. Spring was coming, and it was about four months after Johnny’s death. She had woken up, played with Willy, and cleaned the house; there wasn’t much to be cleaned but she did a lot of cleaning that morning and caught herself humming a tune whilst doing so. For whatever reason, something lifted her that day, and she managed to feel slightly upbeat for the first time in a long time.

There was a knock at the door, and Martha was delighted to see it was Jane. Jane looked glamorous and incredibly striking, with long, golden blonde hair and green eyes. She had long eyelashes and full lips. She was beautiful. No one could deny her that. Martha ushered her in and offered to take her coat which Jane accepted; in fact, she was more than comfortable with it. She had let the wealth get to her. She stood there, tall and slender, whilst Martha walked around her and removed her heavy, double-breasted, military-style coat with a fur neck collar. A couple of years ago, Martha thought Jane would’ve taken her own coat off, but she had clearly become accustomed to her own lifestyle. Martha didn’t care really. She was overjoyed with the surprise visit. Jane walked through to the living room and looked at Willy. She kneeled and took his hand and looked at her nephew.

‘Look who is a big boy now? My, don’t you look like your father.’

She stayed silent for a minute; they both did. Willy stared at her with his big eyes and then looked at Martha and asked for a biscuit.

‘No biscuits today, Willy. We don’t have any left, and Mummy doesn’t have any money.’ She went through to the kitchen and sliced him up an apple. ‘Jane, how lovely to see you and so unexpected. I shall put the kettle on and make us some tea.’

Jane didn’t say anything; she just looked around at Martha’s tired house. It was tidy and neat but it was looking a bit drab. Martha put the kettle on the hob and shouted out from the kitchen.

‘So, what brings you here, Jane? I’m delighted, just delighted to have you here.’

She wanted to go over and have a big cuddle and for them to squeeze each other tight, but she could see that was not the right thing to do. Jane sat there on a dining chair looking like a movie star. Her hair, her makeup, the clothes… she looked incredible. Jane didn’t seem to relax. It was like she didn’t want to be there, but she eventually spoke.

‘Martha, I am not staying long. I have come to do one thing only and then I am on my way.’

Martha brought the cups over to the dining table and sat down. ‘What’s the matter, Jane? This seems serious? Has something happened?’

Jane snapped at her. ‘Of course, something’s happened, Martha. Your husband died, and now you can barely keep a home going for you and Willy. I’m sorry. I just feel so helpless. Here I am with no worries like that but with nothing to spend it on and here you are with a world of responsibility and no income or help to lighten the load. I’ve come to help. I am going to give you some money. To help you both get by.’

Martha didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ‘I don’t… I don’t need your money,’ she stumbled.

‘Yes, you do, Martha. You need it much more than I do, and so I am going to help you. I don’t want a song and dance made about it, just let me help, will you?’

With that, Jane and Martha agreed an arrangement where Jane would send her the money she needed to survive every month. Partly she was relieved. She had been struggling for months. Her Dad wasn’t nearby to help, not that he would be much help these days. Susannah was working seventy-odd miles away, and Jane just wasn’t around. Even today, although she visited, she didn’t seem like she was there. It was as if her mind was on other things. She had arrived and left in what seemed like a flash, but once the day’s events had sunk in, Martha couldn’t help but feel Jane had her own battles going on.

Martha slowly came to and realised that she was still in the café and that Evelyn had been chatting away, but she hadn’t heard any of it. She hoped Evelyn hadn’t noticed as she hadn’t intended to be rude.

‘Well, I must be off,’ said Evelyn. ‘I am visiting my son and I don’t want to be late.’

Martha thanked Evelyn for what had been a lovely hour or so. She wanted to ask Evelyn if she was local. She quite fancied them being friends. She almost saw Evelyn as a mother figure in that split second and thought how nice it would be to have a friend that could take pity on her and lend her an empathetic shoulder from time to time. The hour they had just shared was mainly passing the time of day, talking about Willy and such.

Martha wished she had asked Evelyn more questions and regretted being selfish with the opportunity that she had been given. Evelyn stood and put her small silk scarf on around her neck and picked up her coat. It was quite cold outside but not as chilly as it had been, so she didn’t have the need for it really. She picked up her bag and patted Willy on the head and said her goodbyes. Martha told her how lovely it was to have met and instantly felt empty as she walked away. Martha stared into space. She had been pleasantly distracted by Evelyn and now she was left with her thoughts again. Suddenly she regained focus and turned to the table where Willy was happily entertaining himself. Martha noticed that Evelyn had left money on the table for the tea and biscuits. She felt terrible that she hadn’t noticed and looked out of the window, but Evelyn was gone. Nowhere to be seen. Martha felt even worse now. She hoped Evelyn didn’t think ill of her. She liked Evelyn and had enjoyed sitting with her.