The Moon Singer Collection

Chapter 3

Billie counts the days on the calendar. When she surpasses 45 she panics.

“Oh, crud. Oh, b****y crud,” she groans. “No, no, no. I can"t be.”

Pregnancy is not in her schedule at this point in her life. And no way to begin a relationship with a man so conventional as Isaac Nickerson, especially since she and Isaac never even slept together that magical night.

Feeling irritated and rejected by a man she had only spent a few hours with, who had resisted her self-indulgent seduction, she foolishly succumbed to a drunken fling with the pub"s bartender who must have put some kind of aphrodisiac in her drink. She can never tell Isaac what an i***t she was.

What am I thinking? she admonishes herself. It"s been almost six weeks and Isaac still hasn"t returned from D.C. He has called only once and all he left was a vague voice mail message. Maybe he won"t come back at all. Then he will never know. I won"t have to tell him. I can handle this alone if I have to. Yes. I"ll do it alone.

What am I thinking?Maybe he won"t come back at all. Then he will never know. I won"t have to tell him. I can handle this alone if I have to. Yes. I"ll do it alone.* * *

The Port Avalon summer concert series under the stars has attracted a standing-room only crowd. The most talented and gifted local musicians are featured, with Billie as the star performer. Thundering applause greets her as she takes the stage and sits at the gleaming white Steinway.

Billie knows better than to let her emotions cloud her focus for the music. All attention, all energy must be centered on the keyboard, on the page, on the divine meaning of Beethoven"s Moonlight Sonata.

Legend tells it that by the time Beethoven played the Sonata in public his loss of hearing was well into its advanced stages, so he was known to play it louder than one typically would. Not so the pianists who followed him and made Moonlight Sonata a timeless romantic classic.

Including Billie. She learned early in her studies that to be an artistic pianist is to feel that a breeze just came through a window to speak to your music and sets lightly on your fingers as you play. To develop a laser focus on a composition is to know a loneliness that is crowded with the beautiful. To believe that each interpretation represents a new song to the universe - the harmony of the angels, that can alter the celestial consciousness.

Standing on a hill out of her range of sight is Isaac, who listens with his entire being, tears streaming silently down his face at the splendor of her performance. He knows then that Billie was meant to be a part of his life, his one and only love, his reason for being. She is his song. But could he ever be hers? Is he worthy? Could he ever give her anything close to what her music gives her? Was that first night that they met just a dream, a fantasy? Should he have taken advantage of the obvious s****l heat between them and, once invited to her dorm room, taken advantage of her uninhibited playfulness?

Isaac"s Washington, D.C. assignment had sent him unexpectedly to battle-torn countries to retrieve injured victims, mostly children, and bring them back to the ship to receive medical treatment. Witnessing the horrors of war once again impacted him more than ever, and Billie"s words kept resounding in his head. As proud as he was of serving his country Isaac realized he could no longer be part of the problem; he wanted to be part of the solution, to find another way to serve. And he wanted Billie by his side, to be his moral compass. But he had been gone six weeks and had called her only once in all that time.

Maybe she won"t even want to see me. He is discouraged by the thought. Maybe she has found someone else.

Maybe she won"t even want to see me.Maybe she has found someone else.Nevertheless, he is bound and determined to reconnect and to win her heart. Courting Billie Nickerson will be tricky. She is not one to be manhandled. He will take it slow, introduce her to the things he loves, open himself completely to her and take the risk that she can see in him a man who will devote his life to her but will also let her march to her own drummer.

* * *

Billie answers the phone in an agitated voice. She hopes it"s not that bartender who keeps trying for a replay of their besotted one-night stand. Surprised to hear his voice, Isaac"s voice, she stutters, “Oh - oh, it"s you. I hadn"t expected to hear from you again.” No, I was dying to hear from you again, you typical male who says he"ll call and then doesn"t!

No, I was dying to hear from you again, you typical male who says he"ll call and then doesn"t!“I"m so sorry, Billie. I was on an assignment that didn"t allow for personal phone calls. But I did think about you all the while I was gone. Will you forgive me enough to see me, maybe for coffee or a drink?

“Well…” She wants to play hard to get but easy to forgive. “I"m pretty busy these days with rehearsals and such. But I think I can find some time to get together. Just for coffee, mind you.”

Billie hangs up the phone thanking her lucky stars that she is not pregnant. Just a late period. It"s not the first time nature disrupted her body"s rhythm which, for a girl whose life revolves around time and tempo, seems an illogical physical flaw. But if the unthinkable had happened, terminating the pregnancy would be her only option.

Dorinda"s cryptic premonitions about the obstacles to her relationship with Isaac caused her to ruminate about her fate if she had an abortion. Would she have to keep it a secret forever? Could she? Or would she break under the pressure and confess it to Isaac in the spirit of full disclosure, thus giving impetus to the powerful forces Dorinda warned of that would tear them apart?

No, she decided, the gods had not meant her to bear a philandering bartender"s baby conceived in a moment of irresponsible l**t. So she had made an appointment with a clinic. Thankfully, she did not have to keep it.

* * *

Through the ensuing months, Billie and Isaac enjoy easy dates and movies and intellectual conversations. But they fight and debate constantly. She is hesitant to get serious about a man who devotes his life to the military even if it"s just to build ships, and He can"t understand her relentless acrimony toward the military, against men and women who sacrifice so much for home and country. Until one day Billie explodes with repressed rage over an excruciating personal loss.

SheHe“She was just an impressionable, idealistic kid then. What did she really know about any of it. My own sister, shot to death by armed guards firing on student anti-war protesters,” Billie rants. “Violent anarchists infiltrated the peaceful group and she was caught in the fray and got killed for it.”

So that"s it. The root of her angst. Isaac empathizes with her pain, for he lost his own brother to a land mine in a Godforsaken corner of the earth. What did he know about war? He was just a kid…

What did he know about war? He was just a kid…Her sister"s death inspired Billie to pacifism. It was Isaac"s brother"s death that affirmed his pledge to the Navy. Now things seem tinged with gray, no longer black and white. But he and the woman he was falling in love with were still worlds apart on this issue.

“Billie, if this relationship is going to work we have to agree to disagree about some things. Let"s build on the things we agree on.”

“You"re right, Isaac. We"ll move forward and never look back. I want a whole new life with you, new experiences, new memories.”

“I know the perfect place to start.”