The Alpha's Vampire Princess

Chapter 18: Bloodlust vs. Me

DEMI

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By the time I stepped onto the training mats, my stomach was already protesting the three suppressants I'd taken to ensure I wouldn't embarrass myself by trying to bite anyone. The suppressed instincts churned within me, an unsettling cocktail of hunger and anxiety that I fought to ignore. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart as I scanned the room filled with warriors, each of them radiating a powerful aura of confidence and raw energy.

Maverick, their Alpha, was in full command mode, guiding his warriors through drills with the kind of authority that made my pulse trip over itself in excitement and dread. Every movement he made was sharp and precise, exuding a dominant presence that drew everyone's attention. I couldn't help but admire the way he was respected, even feared, yet he didn't flaunt it. That quality only made him more compelling, and I felt an intense urge to prove myself worthy of standing beside him. Unfortunately, Kate—my ever-observant, newest friend—caught sight of both his dominance and my apparent nerves. With a mischievous grin sharp enough to qualify as violence, she seized my arm and dragged me toward the sparring mats, her excitement palpable.

I should have said no. The voice of reason in my head screamed at me to back down, but stubbornness won out. If I wanted this pack to believe I could stand alongside their Alpha, then hiding behind pastries and charm was not going to be enough. I had to show them I could fight—fight for my place, fight for my acceptance—the need for belonging clawed at me more intensely than any fear or doubt.

"Rule one," Kate said under her breath while rolling her shoulders like she was simply getting ready for a party instead of the kind of violence we were about to engage in, "never let wolves smell hesitation. They'll take it personally and make it everyone's problem." I arched a brow, unsure whether to be impressed or annoyed.

"That's a terrible rule," I replied, trying to inject a hint of sarcasm to mask my own trepidation.

"It's an excellent rule," she countered fiercely. "It's also why half the men in this pack need therapy and a leash."

With a playful shove, she pushed me toward the mats, and suddenly the tension shifted. At first, the spar with Kate felt almost fun; it was playful and energetic, each of us laughing just as much as we were focused on each other's movements. The thrill of competition mingled with the adrenaline pumping through my veins. But soon enough, the tone changed. As Kate hit harder, I found myself answering faster, the exchange becoming less a game and more a raw display of instinct and power.

Adrenaline sharpened everything. Her scent, a mix of sweat and something floral, filled my nostrils. Her pulse thumped like a drum, quickening with each movement. The sting of contact reverberated through my body, heightening my senses. I wasn't just sparring anymore; I was caught in a dance of ferocity and instinct. I moved before I thought, driving her toward the mat, pinning her with enough force that the room fell silent around us.

The moment I saw the thin line of blood where I had caught her skin, my control cracked. The sight, a stark contrast against her flushed face, jolted me into a different reality. My fangs dropped instinctively, a primal response, and hunger hit me like a tidal wave, slamming into me so hard it blurred the edges of the world. Panic set in as I felt myself teetering on a knife's edge between control and something much darker.

My thighs tightened around Kate's pinned body, trapping her in my grip. My right hand clamped down on both of her wrists, pinned above her head, like a vise, while my left hand dug into her cheek, which was bleeding under the pressure of my thumbnail, guiding her face to expose her artery to me.

I heard a hiss that not only sent shivers down my spine but also raised goosebumps all over my body, and my animalistic, untamed, insatiable desire began to rumble in my ears. My tongue darted out to lick the saliva that flowed from between my lips as I slowly descended to bury my human incisors, which were sharpening and quickly turning into vampire fangs, as my subconscious alerted me to avoid being exposed.

"Enough!" I heard Maverick's commanding voice cut through the haze, and in an instant, I was pulled back before instinct could finish what panic had started. I closed my eyes, shut my lips, and took a deep breath through my nose, trying to regain a human composure. Shock rippled through the room, and I heard my name called out, filled with disbelief and concern. Everyone's eyes were on me, but all I could think about was getting away—fleeing before anyone saw too much of what was inside me, the monster that lurked just beneath the surface.

I ran for my room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind me. My breath came in quick gasps, and I stood shaking in the middle of the room, heart racing. With one truth pounding in my skull: I had just come terrifyingly close to becoming exactly what they feared. The idea of losing control, of becoming a predator rather than a pack member, threatened to unravel me completely. Desperate to calm the storm within, I pressed my back against the door, willing myself to breathe, to push the instincts back down into the dark corners of my mind where they belonged. But the reality lingered like a shadow, always there, always waiting.

Before I could gather my thoughts, I heard him pound at the door. "Demi, please. Let me in." His voice, normally a soothing balm, was laced with an urgency that twisted my insides. Did he notice? Was he to demand an explanation?

I couldn't face him. Not now. Not when I had been so reckless, and the mere sight of him could trigger another episode, and I would pick the man I tried so hard to accept me as a blood bag. "Just… give me a moment!" I hollered in response, desperate to keep my emotions at bay. I hurried to the mini fridge, almost ripped the door open as I fished out the two emergency sacks and darted to the bathroom, locking the door behind me and leaning against the sink, before sinking my fangs into it and drinking. Waves of ecstasy washed over me, choking off any rational thought.

What was I? A vampire fighting against her instincts, yearning for acceptance in a world that felt foreign, trying to belong while keeping the dark parts of myself hidden? I ripped the bags open when a dry sucking sound announced the end of the drink. I licked every smudge that existed, desperately, like a drug addict trying to get a fix after a failed rehab. I ignored everything, even the constant pounding of Maverick trying to convince me to open the door. How could I now? I opened my eyes and looked at my reflection in the mirror. A monster with blazing orange eyes, and I was supposed to show him this side of me? No. Not a chance.

I splashed cold water on my face, wishing it could wash away the weight of my decisions. Even now, the sensations of that fight lingered in my veins, igniting a heated desire that went far beyond rivalry.

What had I done? How do I fix this?