Misery Is Sweet

Chapter 3 Packing Up

Meika's POV

I feel my heart beating out of my chest as it breaks at this last conversation with my family alone. I storm out of the room swinging the door open just wanting to beat the hell out of them.. but I won't... Hence why I'm leaving.

How could my father treat me like this? I have been his, since the day I was born... Who cares that I'm not his blood I have always been his daughter.. doesn't that mean anything? Obviously not.

I storm down the hallway, feeling as if my anger building up inside of me will burst at any moment, like the worst kind of a ticking time bomb. I should just leave this resort, but I literally have nowhere to go and no one to go to.. this family and life are all that I have ever known and the idea of anything else scares the hell out of me.

"Ms. Santana," Kristoff says to me as I quickly shake my head before putting my key into my door just to swing up open. "Did you not hear Kristoff that's not me... I'm not a Santana... I'm not his daughter and he is throwing me out like I'm trash." I spat right at him... I know this isn't his fault but I have to yell at someone I guess. I hear the door closing behind me as I continue to storm around my room that's not my room anymore.

I start throwing my clothes from my closet onto my bed, grabbing my suitcase from my closet to put them into.

"Meika.. please Meika." Kristoff tries to calm me down but I'm too pissed about everything right now. I felt his hand on my shoulder as I turn around and hit his chest beating on it as if it were a drum that I need to play this very moment. The tears start pouring down my cheeks until he tightly wraps his arms around me, holding me in his protective, comforting hold.

I cry into his chest, not knowing what else to do. The emotions are too much for me right now. All of this is too much for me right now. I find myself pressing into his body as my hands grip his shirt. "What am I going to do? Everything I have worked so hard for is gone in a split second." I say in a muffled tone because of my face is pressed into his shirt which being soaked in my tears of despair.

"It's going to be ok... you still have your things and a job... plus a roof over your head. That's more than some can say... It's better than leaving this place you have always thought of as your home and having nothing.. right?" Kristoff says to me as his hand combs through my hair. I shake my head at his positivity.

"I think I should have left... Craig won't let me hear the end of this.. he loves tormenting me and he was never able to do it because of my father and I don't even have that now. I feel so alone.. everything I knew is a lie... I wish my mother wouldn't have told me.. and right before my birthday.. happy f*cking birthday to me... I wish I would just die." I say to him, crying more than I ever thought into his chest.

"Hey...hey." He says softly to me as I slowly look up to lock my gaze with his gorgeous orbs. "Don't ever think like that. This place is more beautiful because you're in it. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I couldn't see you every day to light up my dark life. You're the only reason I smile most days." He states to me as I feel his hand gliding across my cheek just to take the tears with it.

"I just feel so alone... I never felt like I belonged before, but now... I feel like a pariah. I can't believe my mother lied to me for so long. I feel almost disgusting.. as disgusting as my father was looking at me." I say softly to him as he keeps staring at me touching my cheek, so I can't help but lean into him.

"You're not disgusting don't let them get to you like that... She did what she thought was best for you.. she wanted to make sure you had a home, family, and stability and she did just that.. she never would have thought that he would already read the letter before you and kicking you out... I'm sorry he reacted like this and I don't understand why he can't accept you as his daughter still, since you have always been that.. but none of that matters now.. you have to just think of yourself and what you want.. and no matter what, you're not alone."

"I hate this," I say softly to him as I lean more into his chest melting more than I ever thought I could into his frame. His arms tighten around my body just holding me there in his comforting cocoon. His hug is somehow making me feel better but this all still hurts.

"How about you take a shower and try to calm down and I'll throw these items into your bag for you to try to help.. and when you get out I can show you to your new room?" Kristoff asks me as I nod.

"I'm sorry, you're right... I must smell bad and here I am holding you... I'm sorry... it's been a long day of working and I wasn't expecting this.. ugh I am so disgusting right now.. sorry." I say to him just letting him go to turn around but he quickly states to me. "I swear that's not it at all.. you smell amazing... I just thought it might help calm you down." He says behind me as I wave my hand to him, not believing his words... He is obviously just being nice to me... I breathe out, just feeling the depression hit me tenfold.

I get into my bathroom stripping my old work clothes off throwing them to the floor in a huff... It's not like it matters what happens to those clothes anyways, because I'm just a maid now.. not a part owner... I kick the clothes away from me before starting up the shower. I tap my toe being impatient about all of this, just wanting to get out of this room and this place that feels so wrong because it's not mine anymore.

I get into the shower using the last bits of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash... I guess that worked out well for the new transition... it's less to carry.. but somehow I still feel irritated about it anyways. I wash my body as the tears start to fall down just as quickly as the shower droplets. I gasp for air as I lean against the wall to help be my support right now without Kristoff right here. He has been sweet in trying to help me out so much... I know he is just doing what he was ordered to do, but I'm still grateful.

I hear the door opening to the bathroom as his smooth voice hits my ears just as easily as the rain does. "Meika.. your brother came over demanding you be out of this room in 10 minutes so we have to speed this up.. are you ok?"

I let out a deep breath before replying. "No I'm not ok, but I'll get out, hand me the towel please." I turn off the shower to partly open the curtain so my face is exposed but nothing else. "Are you sure you don't just want me to leave... I just.. um.." He says sounding nervous as our eyes make contact, causing him to flip around so he doesn't see me. I don't know if he is just being gentlemanly or finds me disgusting.. but either way, he won't see me. "It's fine, just hand me the towel please, I can't reach it myself," I say to him as he reaches back, still not looking at me. His hand knocks over my toothbrush, cup, and hairbrush before actually feeling the towel. He grips it while holding it behind him.

"Ok I'm not that gross Kristoff.. but thanks for your help," I say playfully taking the towel out of his hand before going back behind the shower curtain. I start drying myself off when I hear, "You're the farthest thing from disgusting... I'm just trying to be respectful and totally failing at it." He says to me making me smile as I softly say. "You're not failing.. just fumbling... there is a difference."

"Thanks for understanding... I'm going to finish packing up your things so you won't have to worry about a thing." I hear the door shut after his response making me feel an ease in my mind. I feel hurt in my heart but there is something there that makes me feel a slight relief to my pain.. maybe it's the shower, maybe it's the thought that I won't have to work endless hours for no respect.. maybe it's the one person I have always felt a connection with being so sweet to me.. whatever it is, seems to be working for the moment.

I wrap the towel around my body as I step out, I throw my clothes away because it's not like I need them anymore. I step out of the bathroom making direct eye contact with Kristoff who is opening my drawer grabbing a bra out and staring at every last lacey inch of it. I clear my throat grabbing his attention as he instantly tosses the bra out of his hands and behind him as if he wasn't just looking at it.

"I just.. um.. uh.." He says to me as I watch his face change to a whole different shade of red. "Thank you for helping me pack my things," I say nicely to him because he is so sweet and shy that I'm loving this side of him I never got to see before. "That's perfectly fine for wearing right now thanks," I add on saying to him playfully as I walk over to him, reaching right behind him to pick up the bra he just threw. I reach into my underwear drawer grabbing the underwear that matches it, before grabbing a shirt and leggings to wear.

He chuckles while shaking his head I think at himself as he reaches back into my drawers pulling the rest of my undergarments out just to pack them.

Things are getting pretty hard to pack away in my bags but he is making it work. He grabs the last handfuls of underwear as my baggie drops to the floor. I panic as I quickly get to the bag reaching down until he does just the same out of instinct.

Our hands touch before he fully grabs the bag into his hand. I don't know what to say about my weed paraphernalia he just found. So I freeze holding my towel tighter than expected not knowing what to say. "You smoke weed?" He asks me as I nervously nod before softly responding. "It's the only thing that gives me an appetite and helps me sleep."

"Do you do anything else? You know, like your brother does?" He asks me suspiciously because that happens often in this job. I shake my head. "I have tried other things, but I never liked it.. weed is the only thing I like," I say this even softer feeling embarrassed about it now.

I watch his eyes trail from mine over my exposed body and down to the baggie of weed in his hand, before handing me the baggie and saying, "That's all I do too... if you ever want anyone to hang out with when smoking... I would be more than willing to and I could show you my secret spot I smoke at every day." This comment surprises me completely, I never knew he did anything like that. But that somehow makes me feel better.

"I would like that.. thank you," I say to him as we share a nice comfortable silence before he breaks our gaze to say. "Well, you better get dressed before your brother comes back to kick you out... you know he will." He says as I quickly nod agreeing with that statement.

"Yeah, your right," I reply before standing up and heading back to the bathroom to get changed with the clothes I have in hand.