A BABY FOR THE CEO

CHAPTER 4

EMMA

Maybe I'm being an i***t for hiding my son from meeting his father, he has that right, but I can't approach him and suddenly come and destroy a beautiful family like his by claiming that I have a child that belongs to him.

What do I do, God?

I take a deep breath with my eyes closed still remembering how it felt to be in front of him and staring into those blue eyes again, it was like reliving everything that happened that night in just seconds.

The neutral way he looked at me and pronounced my name formally makes me realize one thing that hurts me even more.

He doesn't remember.

He doesn't remember me and what happened over a year ago after that night with a lot of alcohol involved.

I pull my cell phone out of my pocket before reaching for my best friend's contact who answers within seconds:

“Emma, how was it? Did you get the job? If you're calling me it's because you got it and...", she stops talking when she hears sobs escape my lips.

“I've seen him again and he doesn't remember me, I should feel a bit of relief for that, but all I can feel is pain, Coral...", I say.

I try to keep walking hurriedly back down the road to the city where I wait for a new subway to come home and meet my son.

After Bethany said I was finally hired for childcare my heart was filled with hope because I could give my baby a better life.

But everything was shattered when I stood in front of Alex again and it brought me many emotions at the same time resulting in me fainting quickly.

Inside the subway I sit on one of the seats and lean my head on the window glass watching the people outside, I feel a tightness in my chest, and I just wish to forget this horrible day.

He doesn't remember me...

This sentence keeps hammering in my mind torturing me completely as I pick up my phone and open the photo app, my fingers glide through the thousands of photos of Ben since his birth in that hospital.

Surely my eyes must be red, and my face completely swollen since some people can't stop looking at me.

My eyes fixate on the photo taken a few hours after Benjamin was born, it's a photo where I'm holding him in my arms with an emotional smile, the day I gained the most important person in my life.

He is extremely rich, a successful man with a beautiful and happy family.

He has everything I don't have and that hurts me a lot.

My curiosity speaks louder when I type the words "Alex Laurent's wife”into Google and I get thousands of news and articles about a woman.

The pain seems to intensify when I see several photos of a woman who looks like a model so beautiful, we are opposite, and he has two beautiful children with her.

I read two articles about a woman who is a successful model in the fashion industry, I quickly turn off my cell phone to focus on what I am going to do from now on.

I have created so many expectations about my new job and the salary that would support me very well, but I try to find a solution that will help me from today on.

I could keep finding job vacancies or apply to work in some dirty bar where I will surely be harassed by drunk men, but I would accept anything to keep my son safe and well.

The drive home lasts longer, and I feel better when I walk through the door seeing Coral playing with Benjamin who bursts into laughter at her antics.

”Look, Mommy's here!", my son's blue eyes land on me and his little arms wave in the air.

I give a smile before taking the baby in my lap and kissing his little hair, I sit down on a chair starting to breastfeed my son.

I lift my head meeting Coral's questioning gaze as I called her crying.

“Was it him?", she asks and I nod touching Benjamin's delicate face.

“'My god, I can't think what you felt when you were standing in front of him, do you want to talk about it?"

“Not now, please...", I whisper with my eyes full of tears and she agrees with a loving look and comes closer to hug us.

“I got the job, but I don't know what I'm going to do now, but all I care about is him...", I point to Benjamin who starts playing with my hair.

“He has two children, Coral...", I whisper, wiping a tear from my cheek.

My son's half-brothers.

Even though I don't want to open up right now, I start telling Coral everything little by little and including the fact that I fainted after I saw Alex so long after that day in the hospital when Ben was being born.

My best friend listened to me and advised me as always, but I am still in no doubt about what I am going to do.

I am feeling extremely hungry, and Coral offers to prepare something simple for me after I tell her about the fainting.

And at night I struggle to try to get some sleep, but all I see when I close my eyes are those Benjamin-like blue pupils.

“What do I do, God?", I whisper and am interrupted by my son's crying.

I get up quickly from the bed to pick him up from his crib, rocking him in the dark of the room trying to calm him down who continues to cry non-stop.

“What is it, my love? Mommy's here!", I whisper touching his little face that is turning red from crying.

“Are you hungry?", I quickly sit up in bed and pull my nightgown away to breastfeed him, but I'm surprised when he refuses.

“Mommy is here, Mommy will always be here...", I keep repeating the same phrase lying down on the bed with Benjamin's little body on top of me.

I start to sing, tapping the baby's back lightly, and he gradually stops crying, I continue to sing the song I have been singing to him since the day he was born.

I love my baby too much and it was very difficult at first, I felt extremely burdened with raising a child alone and giving up my own life to give him everything he needs.

It's still not easy, but I'm slowly learning to be a better mom every day.

Afraid that Ben will wake up again if I get out of bed and put him in the crib, I decide to lay him next to me in bed, hug my son and close my eyes letting the tiredness take over me completely.

I wake up scared in the dark hearing Benjamin's crying louder this time, I get up quickly groping the wall and looking for the light switch in the room.

My heartbeats seem to stop as I pick up my son and realize that he is too hot, I panic hearing his agonizing cry as I search the room for the thermometer.

“Stay calm, love...", I whisper, placing the thermometer on him as I try my best to calm him down, but fail miserably.

“Emma, what's going on?", the bedroom door opens revealing Coral with a sleepy expression.

“He won't stop crying and he's very hot, I think he has a fever, Coral!", I say in desperation, seeing that the thermometer warns that the fever level is very high.

“We'd better take him to the hospital!"

“We'll do it, but for sure the doctors will prescribe medicines that are probably expensive and I don't have the money to buy...", I say with tears in my eyes rocking Benjamin who never stops crying.

“You know what to do, Emma...", I look at Coral knowing perfectly well what he is referring to now.

Alex.

No!